Shadowing Practice: Easy English Podcast | Why People Care So Much What Others Think - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
1
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to Everyday English Academy, where we make English simple and enjoyable.
2
I'm Sarah.
3
And I'm Mike.
4
Hello to all of our wonderful listeners wherever you are in the world right now.
5
How was your week, Mike?
6
It was okay, but something happened at work that is still in my head.
7
Oh, what happened?
8
We were in a meeting.
9
The team was discussing a project, and I had an idea.
10
I thought it was actually a good idea, but I didn't say it.
11
Why not?
12
I kept thinking, what if they think it's a dumb idea?
13
What if everyone looks at me and thinks, why did he say that?
14
So you just stayed quiet?
15
I stayed quiet.
16
And then, ten minutes later, someone else said almost the same thing and everyone loved it.
17
Oh, no. Yeah.
18
And I sat there thinking, that was my idea.
19
I was just too worried about what people would think.
20
You know what, Mike?
21
I think that happens to so many people.
22
More than we want to admit.
23
It really does.
24
And honestly, it made me wonder, why do we do this?
25
Why do we care so much about what other people think?
26
That is a really good question.
27
And I think almost everyone listening right now has felt this before.
28
At work, at school, with friends, even at the supermarket.
29
The supermarket?
30
Yes.
31
Yes, I once put something back on the shelf
32
because I thought the person next to me was looking at what I was buying. Were they?
33
No, they were looking at their own shopping list.
34
See, that is exactly what we need to talk about today.
35
And by the way, listeners, has this ever happened to you?
36
You had something to say but kept it inside?
37
Or you changed your behavior because of a stranger?
38
Tell us in the comments.
39
We really want to hear your stories.
40
Okay, so Mike, why do we care?
41
Like, where does this come from?
42
I think a big part of it is that we want to fit in.
43
Fit in, yes.
44
To fit in means to feel like you belong in a group.
45
Like you are part of the team, part of the people around you.
46
Right.
47
And that is actually very normal.
48
Humans are social.
49
We need other people.
50
So our brain says, don't do anything weird.
51
Don't be different.
52
Just blend in.
53
And it starts early, right?
54
Like in school, you want to wear the same shoes as your friends.
55
You want to like the same music.
56
You want to laugh at the same jokes.
57
Oh, totally.
58
I remember in school, I liked a band that nobody else liked, and I just never told anyone.
59
You hid your music taste?
60
I hid my music taste because I thought people would think I was strange.
61
I even pretended to like songs I didn't like just to fit in.
62
That is so sad, but also I did the same thing.
63
I think we all did.
64
We will come back to your band story later, by the way.
65
Oh, no. And the thing is, fitting in feels safe.
66
But sometimes we lose a little piece of ourselves to fit in.
67
We say what other people want to hear.
68
We wear what other people think is cool.
69
And slowly, we forget what we actually like.
70
That's true.
71
And I think another big reason is we are afraid people will size us up.
72
Size us up.
73
Good one.
74
What does that mean?
75
When someone sizes you up, they look at you and quickly make an opinion about you.
76
Like they look at your clothes, your face, how you talk.
77
And they decide something about you in seconds.
78
Exactly.
79
And that is why we get self-conscious.
80
Self-conscious.
81
That means feeling worried that people are watching you or thinking about you.
82
Like when you walk into a cafe alone and suddenly you don't know what to do with your hands?
83
Yes.
84
Or when you're eating alone and you think everyone is looking at you like, oh, that person has no friends.
85
Nobody is thinking that, Mike.
86
I know, but it feels like it.
87
And that feeling actually has a name, by the way.
88
It does?
89
Yes, it's called the spotlight effect.
90
Ooh, the spotlight effect.
91
Like a spotlight on a stage?
92
Exactly.
93
Imagine you are on a stage and there's a big bright light on you.
94
Everyone is watching.
95
That is how it feels.
96
But in real life, there is no spotlight.
97
Nobody is watching that closely.
98
So the spotlight effect is when we think everyone is paying attention to us, but they are actually not.
99
Right.
100
Scientists studied this.
101
They found that we believe people notice us much more than they actually do.
102
That makes sense.
103
Because think about it.
104
When was the last time you noticed what a stranger was wearing?
105
Hmm.
106
I can't remember.
107
Exactly.
108
We don't notice other people, but we think they notice us.
109
It's a little bit crazy.
110
It really is.
111
And here's something I want everyone to try.
112
Think about your most embarrassing moment, something that happened maybe last year.
113
Okay.
114
Now, do you think the other people in that moment still remember it?
115
Probably not.
116
They probably forgot the next day.
117
Exactly.
118
Your embarrassing moment lives in your head, not in theirs.
119
They moved on.
120
You didn't. That is so true.
121
I still remember when I tripped in front of my colleagues two years ago, but I promise you nobody else remembers.
122
Have you ever asked them?
123
No, and I'm not going to.
124
Because if they forgot, great.
125
And if they didn't, I don't want to know.
126
Fair enough.
127
But seriously, the spotlight effect.
128
It tricks us into thinking the whole world is watching.
129
But the world is busy watching themselves.
130
Everyone is the main character of their own story.
131
They're not thinking about your story.
132
That's a nice way to put it.
133
Now, here is where it gets interesting, because I think social media makes this whole thing much worse.
134
Oh, I agree, 100%.
135
Because before social media, you worried about what?
136
Maybe 20 or 30 people thought about you?
137
Your friends, your family, your co-workers?
138
And now, you can worry about what hundreds of people think, or thousands.
139
Right.
140
You post a photo, and then you wait.
141
How many likes?
142
How many comments?
143
Did people like it?
144
Did they ignore it?
145
And if you get a lot of likes, you feel good.
146
But if you don't, you start to wonder.
147
Is something wrong with me?
148
Is this photo bad?
149
Am I boring?
150
And that is what we call validation.
151
Validation is when other people give you approval.
152
When they say, yes, this is good.
153
You are good.
154
And it feels amazing when you get it.
155
But the problem is, if you need it, if you can't feel good without it.
156
Yes.
157
If your happiness depends on other people's reactions, that is a lot of power to give away.
158
It's like giving a stranger the remote control to your mood.
159
Here, you decide if I'm happy today.
160
That is a scary picture.
161
Quick question for our listeners.
162
Do you check how many likes you get on a post? Be honest.
163
Tell us in the comments.
164
And no judgment.
165
I check too.
166
See, we all do it.
167
The important thing is to notice when it starts to control how you feel.
168
Right.
169
Likes are fun, but they shouldn't decide if you have a good day or a bad day.
170
Exactly.
171
And I think social media also makes us compare ourselves too much.
172
Oh, the comparison game.
173
That is dangerous.
174
You see someone's life online and you think, their life looks perfect, mine doesn't.
175
But you are comparing your real life to their best moments.
176
That's never a fair comparison.
177
That's a good point.
178
Nobody posts the boring Tuesday afternoon.
179
They post the vacation, the nice dinner, the perfect sunset.
180
that nobody posts a photo of themselves eating cereal on the sofa in old clothes at 10 p.m.
181
But that is what real life looks like most of the time.
182
Exactly.
183
And then we feel like we need to do the same thing.
184
We want to stand out.
185
Stand out means to be different, to be noticed, to be special.
186
But trying to stand out for other people is exhausting, because what do they even want?
187
Everyone wants something different.
188
Exactly.
189
You can't make everyone happy.
190
Okay.
191
But Sarah, I want to say something, and you might disagree with me.
192
Oh, this is going to be good.
193
Go ahead.
194
I think sometimes caring what people think is actually okay.
195
Hmm.
196
Explain.
197
Well, think about it.
198
If you never cared what anyone thought, you might say rude things.
199
You might show up to a job interview in your pajamas.
200
You might hurt people's feelings without even noticing.
201
Okay.
202
You have a point.
203
Right?
204
A little bit of caring keeps us polite.
205
It helps us read situations.
206
It helps us be kind.
207
So you're saying caring about what others think is like salt.
208
Salt?
209
Yes.
210
A little salt makes food taste better, but too much ruins everything.
211
I like that.
212
Yes, a little caring is healthy.
213
It means you respect other people, you think about their feelings, but too much caring and you stop living your life.
214
You become a people pleaser.
215
A people pleaser is someone who always tries to make other people happy, even when it makes them unhappy.
216
And people pleasers often say yes when they want to say no. They agree when they actually disagree.
217
They change who they are depending on who they're with, like different personality with different groups.
218
That sounds tiring.
219
It is tiring.
220
And honestly, I used to be like that.
221
I would say yes to everything, go everywhere, agree with everyone.
222
And at the end of the day, I felt empty, like I spent the whole day being someone else.
223
Because you were living for other people, not for yourself.
224
Exactly.
225
And when I finally said no to something, it felt strange at first, almost guilty.
226
but also a little bit free.
227
Yes, a little bit free.
228
And that feeling gets bigger every time you do it.
229
And that is something I had to learn.
230
It takes practice.
231
So, Mike, what can people actually do?
232
Like, if you know you care too much, how do you start caring a little less?
233
Good question.
234
I think the first thing is to notice when you are getting in your own head.
235
Getting in your own head.
236
I love this phrase.
237
It means thinking too much until you confuse yourself or stop yourself from doing something.
238
Right.
239
Like me in that meeting.
240
I got in my own head.
241
I had a good idea, but my brain said, no, no, no, don't say it.
242
It's probably stupid.
243
And it wasn't stupid.
244
Someone else said it and everyone liked it.
245
Exactly.
246
So step one, notice when your brain is being too loud, when it starts telling you stories about what might happen.
247
Because usually those stories are not true.
248
We imagine the worst, but the worst almost never happens.
249
And step two, learn to shrug things off.
250
To shrug something off means to act like it doesn't bother you and just keep going.
251
Like if someone says something about your clothes or your hair, instead of thinking about it for three days, you just shrug.
252
Move on.
253
It's not that important.
254
Not everything needs a reaction.
255
And I know that sounds easy, but it is hard sometimes, especially the first few times.
256
It is, but it gets easier with practice.
257
Every time you shrug something off, the next time is a little easier.
258
It's like a muscle.
259
The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
260
Yeah, and honestly, most of the things we worry about, in one week, we don't even remember them. So true.
261
The comment that ruined your Monday, by Friday, gone.
262
And I think the most important thing is to just own it.
263
Own who you are.
264
Own it.
265
I like this one.
266
What does it mean exactly?
267
To own it means to accept who you are with confidence, without saying sorry for it.
268
You like something that's different?
269
Own it.
270
You have an opinion?
271
Own it.
272
You made a mistake?
273
Own it.
274
You are who you are.
275
Own it.
276
Like my secret band from school.
277
I should have just owned it.
278
Yes, you should have said, I like this band and I don't care what you think.
279
And you know what's funny?
280
The people who own it, they are usually the people we respect the most.
281
That's true.
282
Think about someone you admire.
283
Are they trying to fit in or are they just being themselves?
284
Usually, they're just being themselves and that confidence is what makes them interesting.
285
Exactly.
286
So maybe the secret is not caring less.
287
Maybe the secret is caring more about your opinion of yourself and a little less about everyone else's.
288
I like that.
289
I'm doing that from now on.
290
No more hiding.
291
Good, because here's the truth.
292
Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you.
293
And that is actually very freeing when you really think about it.
294
Okay, before we finish, quick question for everyone listening.
295
Are you more of a people pleaser, or are you someone who doesn't really care what others think?
296
Tell us in the comments.
297
Yes, and there is no wrong answer.
298
Maybe you are somewhere in the middle.
299
That is normal too.
300
So what did we learn today?
301
We care what people think because we want to fit in.
302
We want to belong But the spotlight effect tricks us people notice us much less than we think
303
Social media can make it worse because we start looking for validation from strangers
304
But a little bit of caring is actually healthy.
305
It keeps us kind and polite The problems start when we become people pleasers and stop listening to ourselves ourselves.
306
So, notice when you get in your own head, learn to shrug things off, and most importantly, own who you are.
307
Even if it's a weird band from school.
308
Especially if it's a weird band from school.
309
All right, everyone.
310
Thank you so much for spending time with us today.
311
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe to Everyday English Academy and give us a like.
312
It really helps us keep making these episodes for you.
313
Share this with a friend who needs to hear it.
314
Maybe someone who gets in their own head a little too much.
315
We'll see you in the next episode.
316
Keep practicing your English.
317
Stay confident, stay curious, and remember, nobody is watching as much as you think.
318
Bye, everyone.
319
Goodbye!
About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will focus on understanding why people often hesitate to express their thoughts due to social anxiety and the fear of judgment from others. By listening to the conversation between Sarah and Mike, you’ll learn not only about this common human experience but also how to articulate your thoughts and feelings in English without fear. This practice will help you develop confidence in speaking English, enabling you to participate in discussions more freely and naturally.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Fit in - To feel like you belong to a group or community.
- Worried - To feel anxious or concerned about something.
- Idea - A thought or suggestion that comes to mind.
- Supermarket - A large store where food and other products are sold.
- Dumb idea - A thought perceived as silly or unwise.
- Social - Relating to interaction with others.
- Judgment - The ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.
Practice Tips
For effective english speaking practice using this lesson, consider these tips:
- Shadowing Technique: As you listen to Sarah and Mike, try shadowspeak by repeating their sentences closely behind them. This technique helps improve your fluency and pronunciation, especially if you maintain the same speed and tone they use.
- Focus on Intonation: Pay attention to how emotions are conveyed in their voices. Mimic the intonation and pauses, which are vital for sounding natural in English.
- Practice with a Partner: If possible, practice discussing similar themes with a friend or language partner. Use the vocabulary from this lesson to express your thoughts about social situations or fears of judgment.
- Record Yourself: Use your phone or a recording device to capture your shadow speech. Review your recordings to identify areas where you can improve english pronunciation.
- Watch and Repeat: Utilize learn english with youtube by watching the video multiple times, pausing after each line to repeat what you hear. This repetitive practice establishes muscle memory for speech production.
By engaging with this lesson actively, you will not only understand the topic better but also gain confidence in speaking out your ideas and feelings in English!
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.