Shadowing Practice: How to Secretly Make a Woman Fall in Love | Robert Greene - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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SO HOW DO WE LEARN TO OPEN OURSELVES UP AND BE VULNERABLE
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SO HOW DO WE LEARN TO OPEN OURSELVES UP AND BE VULNERABLE
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TO ALLOW FOR SEDUCTION TO HAPPEN
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IF SO WE'RE REALLY INTERESTED IN SOMEONE WE'RE LIKE AH WE'RE REALLY WE WANNA START DATING THIS PERSON WE'RE REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THE POTENTIAL BUT WE'RE ALSO DON'T WANNA RUIN IT AND MESS UP
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YEAH WELL UM IT YOU KNOW EACH RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT YEAH YOU KNOW I I I TALK TO A LOT OF PEOPLE ON THIS VULNERABILITY ISSUE
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THE GREATEST MISTAKE PEOPLE MAKE IS THEY THEY JUDGE SIMPLY ON APPEARANCES YES AND OF COURSE YOU KNOW WE ALL HAVE S**UAL DESIRE WE HAVE PHYSICAL DESIRES AND OFTEN WE'RE ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE FROM AND
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AND THERE'S A S**UAL COMPONENT BUT THE CHARACTER OF THAT PERSON DOESN'T MESH WITH US RIGHT YES AND SO THE THE PHYSICAL STUFF DOESN'T LAST THAT LONG
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IT CAN'T GO ON FOREVER ALTHOUGH IT CAN GO ON FAIRLY WELL IF IF IF YOU CONNECT ON THAT LEVEL BUT IT KIND OF DIES DOWN AT SOME POINT AND THEN YOU'RE CONFRONTED WITH THEIR PSYCHOLOGY
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THEIR PERSONALITY THEIR CHARACTER YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE YOU HAVE TO THINK CAN I TALK TO THIS PERSON IN FIVE YEARS AND CARRY ON AN INTERESTING CONVERSATION CAN I SIT ACROSS FROM THE TABLE
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IF THAT IS IF YOU WANT A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP AND YOU KNOW FIND A STIMULATING CONVERSATION WITH THEM YOU KNOW BECAUSE THAT'S THAT'S REALLY WHAT IT ENDS UP BOILING DOWN TO
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AND SO YOU YOU REALLY WANNA BE ABLE TO ALSO JUDGE THEIR CHARACTER AND IF YOU'RE ABLE TO LOOK INSIDE THE OTHER PERSON A LITTLE BIT AND TO SEE A KIND OF DEEPER CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU
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I BELIEVE THAT THAT THE S**UAL PART WHICH IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT IN ANY RELATIONSHIP WILL ACTUALLY BE INTENSIFIED AND HEIGHTENED RIGHT AS OPPOSED TO THE IMMEDIATE KIND OF ANIMAL ATTRACTION THAT WE HAVE TO PEOPLE
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SO IF YOU DEEPEN YOUR CONNECTION TO THAT PERSON AND LOVE IS INVOLVED WHERE YOU'RE ACTUALLY FEEL A VULNERABILITY TO THEM IN THIS KIND OF BACK AND FORTH ELECTRICAL CHARGE I THINK THE PHYSICAL COMPONENT YOU KNOW
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THE VALUE OF IT INCREASES RIGHT SO THAT'S THE NO. 1 MISTAKE PEOPLE MAKE YOU KNOW UM IS IT IS IT DO PEOPLE HAVE S** TOO EARLY
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WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON NECESSARILY WITH YOUNG PEOPLE RIGHT NOW I KNOW THE HOOKUP CULTURE IS STILL PRETTY STRONG AND YOU KNOW GUYS ARE WATCHING A LOT OF PORN AND SO YOU KNOW
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THAT'S PROBABLY A TENDENCY AND IN THE TRADITIONALLY AND THINGS HAVE CHANGED IT WAS THE WOMAN WHO HAD MORE TO LOSE
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COME BY BECOMING PREGNANT WHO TRIED TO KEEP THE S** AT BAY FOR AT LEAST SEVERAL WEEKS OR MONTHS OR OR LONGER AND THAT'S KIND OF BEEN LOST BUT YEAH I THINK UM
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THE FACT THAT THE FALLING IN LOVE PROCESS GENERALLY TAKES TIME RIGHT I MEAN THAT WE DO HAVE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT AND IT IS A REAL PHENOMENON
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AND I AND I'VE HAD IT MYSELF REALLY YEAH BUT UM
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THE IDEA SO THERE'S A FAMOUS FRENCH WRITER NAMED STENDHAL WHO WROTE A GREAT BOOK CALLED ON LOVE ONE OF THE GREATEST BOOKS WRITTEN ABOUT LOVE
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IT WAS IN THE 19 EARLY 19TH CENTURY AND HE COMPARED TO FALLING IN LOVE TO WHAT HE CALLED CRYSTALLIZATION AND IT'S BASED ON THIS THING WHERE YOU WOULD THROW A
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A PIECE OF WOOD INTO THIS MINE IN IN GERMANY SOMEWHERE AT SALZBURG AND THEN YOU WOULD PULL IT OUT LIKE A WEEK LATER AND IT WOULD BE FILLED WITH ALL OF THESE BRILLIANT CRYSTALS
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AND HE COMPARED THAT TO THE PROCESS OF FALLING IN LOVE THE PERSON IS JUST WHO THEY ARE THEY'RE LIKE A A A A TRUNK OF A TREE BUT YOUR MIND KIND OF PUTS ALL THESE QUALITIES ON THEM
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CRYSTALLIZES THEM INTO SOME KIND OF IDEAL FIGURE RIGHT AND SO THAT MENTAL PROCESS TAKES TIME RIGHT IT REQUIRES ALSO SOME DISTANCE AND SOME FANTASIZING
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YOU KNOW SORT OF BASIC ELEMENTS OF HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY SO IF WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY DISTANCE
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WELL LIKE DON'T SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH THE PERSON IN THE FIRST YEAH AND IF AND IF IF YOU'RE HAVING S** RIGHT AWAY IT'S IT'S TOO CLOSE IT'S TOO INTIMATE IT'S TOO IT'S TOO EARLY TO BE ABLE TO HAVE GO THROUGH THAT PROCESS RIGHT
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MM HMM AND OFTEN YOU KNOW THERE'S USUALLY A LET DOWN AFTER THE AFTER THAT INITIAL S**UAL ENCOUNTER IF YOU HAVE IT TOO EARLY RIGHT WHERE AS OPPOSED TO LETTING TIME GO BY
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AND LETTING THE OTHER PERSON BEGIN TO THINK ABOUT YOU AND FANTASIZE ABOUT YOU AND IN THEIR MIND SORT OF IMAGINE SOME INTERESTING QUALITIES ABOUT YOU
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AND FASCINATE THEM WHICH IS WHAT HE CALLS THIS CRYSTALLIZATION PROCESS I MEAN LITERALLY THINK OF IT THAT WAY THAT YOU'RE YOU'RE HAVING A YOU'RE YOU'RE IN IN THEIR MIND
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THEY'RE KIND OF FORMING THE SORT OF IDEAL CRYSTALLIZED UM IMAGE OF YOU RIGHT AND IT TAKES TIME AND IT TAKES SOME ABSENCE IT TAKES THE ABILITY TO SAY
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YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT IN THEIR FACE ALL THE TIME YOU YOU DISAPPEAR FOR A COUPLE DAYS A COUPLE WEEKS OR WHATEVER NOT A WEEKS BUT A FEW DAYS YOU LET THEM THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOU LET THAT KIND OF SPELL
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BECAUSE SEDUCTION AND LOVE IS KIND OF A SPELL THAT YOU'RE CASTING RIGHT AND THERE'S AN ART TO IT AND SO THE MISTAKE PEOPLE HAVE IS THAT THEY'RE IN TOO MUCH OF A HURRY RIGHT
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TOO MUCH OF A HURRY TO WHAT HAVE S** TO FALL IN LOVE TO YEAH OR TO HAVE LIKE A A REALLY YOU KNOW INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP OR OR TO GET MARRIED OR WHATEVER IT IS
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IN GENERAL IN OUR CULTURE PEOPLE ARE TOO MUCH OF A HURRY THEY'RE TOO MUCH OF A HURRY TO GET MAKE MONEY TOO MUCH IN A HURRY TO GET ATTENTION THAT ALSO INVOLVES IN YOU KNOW IN IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS RIGHT RIGHT
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SO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEDUCTION AND LOVE
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WELL I MAINTAIN THAT THE PROCESS OF SEDUCING IS MAKING THE OTHER PERSON FALL IN LOVE RIGHT THE PROCESS OF SEDUCING IS GETTING THE OTHER PERSON TO FALL IN LOVE
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HUH COULD YOU COULD YOU COULD SOMEONE YEAH COULD SOMEONE FALL IN LOVE WITHOUT BEING SEDUCED
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WITHOUT SEDUCING THEM NO
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EVEN IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT THERE COULD BE LIKE A MOMENT OF SEDUCTION THAT TURNS INTO THAT OR HOW DOES THAT WORK WELL EVEN IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT WHICH I SAY I'VE KIND OF MAYBE EXPERIENCED
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IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY LEAD TO SOMETHING RIGHT YOU STILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH A PROCESS WHERE THE OTHER PERSON'S CHARACTER THAT YOU START UM IDEALIZING AND ROMANTICIZING AND THINKING ABOUT THEM
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YOU KNOW EVEN EVEN THAT IMMEDIATE ATTRACTION THERE IS STILL THE SEDUCTION PROCESS THAT HAS TO GO ON SURE SURE RIGHT AND SO YOU KNOW I TRY IN THE ART OF SEDUCTION I MAKE THE POINT THAT POLITICAL SEDUCTION
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MARKETING SEDUCTIONS SOCIAL SEDUCTIONS BECAUSE IN YOUR OFFICE YOU'RE CONTINUALLY SEDUCING IT'S THE SAME PROCESS AND IT'S GETTING YOUR GETTING THE OTHER PERSON TO THINK ABOUT YOU
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AND GETTING THEM TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR PRODUCT WITH YOUR IDEA WITH YOUR POLITICAL PLATFORM OR WHATEVER IT IS AND THAT PROCESS OF INTERNALIZING THAT OTHER PERSON
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OF HAVING THEIR PRESENCE THEIR THEIR THEIR SPIRIT OR WHATEVER INSIDE YOU INHABIT YOU AND THEN AND YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT THEM A LOT IS A PROCESS OF FALLING IN LOVE RIGHT
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SO IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT THERE AREN'T SEDUCTIONS WHERE YOU'RE SEDUCING THE OTHER PERSON AND THEN IT'S OVER AFTER A MONTH RIGHT IT DOESN'T NECESSARILY MEAN
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THAT IT'S GOING TO LEAD TO A RELATIONSHIP
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BUT I DON'T SO I I SEPARATE SEDUCTION FROM JUST HAVING S** YES SO IF YOU GO TO A BAR AND YOU YOU PICK UP A WOMAN IN THE BAR AND THAT NIGHT
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YOU GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND YOU HAVE S** THAT'S NOT SEDUCTION RIGHT BECAUSE WE ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL CREATURES RIGHT WE'RE NOT WE'RE NOT ANIMALS AND THE PROCESS OF ACTUALLY
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HAVING OUR EMOTIONS ENGAGED BY THE OTHER PERSON IS TAKES A LOT DEEPER PROCESS RIGHT IT CAN'T HAPPEN QUICKLY CAN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT SO SEDUCTION ISN'T LIKE YOU KNOW
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PICKUP ARTISTS DON'T REALLY LIKE THE ART OF SEDUCTION SO MUCH WHY IS THAT BECAUSE IT'S NOT QUICK ENOUGH FOR THEM HMM I'M TELLING YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THESE STEPS I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THESE STEPS
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I DON'T WANT TO WAIT THREE WEEKS TO SLEEP WITH HER OR A MONTH I DON'T HAVE TO SURPRISE HER AND GIVE HER GIFTS OR I'M TALKING ABOUT FROM THE MALE POINT OF VIEW SURE DO ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT ROBERT TALKS ABOUT
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YOU KNOW I WANT IT QUICK YOU KNOW SOME OF THEM AREN'T LIKE THAT BUT SOME OF THEM ARE AND SO
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THERE ARE PLENTY OF BOOKS WRITTEN OUT THERE ABOUT HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN OR GUYS IN A BAR BUT THE SEDUCTION ISN'T ABOUT THAT IT'S SOMETHING ELSE IT'S SOMETHING MORE ELEMENTAL AND I TALK IN THE ART OF SEDUCTION
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ABOUT HOW IT GOES BACK TO OUR CHILDHOOD HOW WE ARE INCREDIBLY VULNERABLE TO THE EMOTIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE IT BEGINS WITH OUR PARENTS RIGHT AND THE SENSE OF YOU KNOW
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WE INTERNALIZE THEIR PRESENCE WE'RE THINKING ABOUT THEM WE HAVE THIS KIND OF VERY DEEP EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THEM WE'RE SEDUCED BY OUR PARENTS IN SOME WAYS IT KIND OF SETS A TONE FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD
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THIS NEED TO FEEL VULNERABLE TO OTHER PEOPLE RIGHT
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UM THIS THAT'S THE THING AS WELL IS YEAH UM
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YOU KNOW IT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE MISTAKE SEDUCTION AND THAT'S THE REAL REASON I WROTE THE BOOK THEY HAVE REALLY BAD IDEAS ABOUT IT WHAT DO THEY THINK IT IS WELL THEY THEY HAVE AN IDEA THAT IT'S THIS KIND OF COLD PROCESS
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TYPICALLY IT'LL BE A MALE SEDUCER BUT IT CAN BE A WOMAN AND THEY'RE REALLY CONNIVING AND THEY'RE COMING UP WITH ALL KINDS OF TRICKS SCHEMES SCHEMES TO GET THE WOMAN OR MAN TO LIKE FALL FOR THEM
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AND EITHER THEY'RE AFTER MONEY OR S** OR SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT AND ACTUALLY SEDUCTION IS A MATTER OF VULNERABILITY IT'S MAKING YOURSELF VULNERABLE TO THE OTHER PERSON
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REALLY YEAH UM AND YOU KNOW WE LIVE IN IN TIMES WHERE PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME BEING VULNERABLE
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YOU KNOW IF YOU'RE INSECURE IF YOU'RE FILLED WITH A LOT OF ANXIETY YOU TEND TO CLOSE UP INSIDE OF YOURSELF
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AND TO LET ANOTHER PERSON IN AND TO LET THEM HAVE SOME CONTROL OVER YOUR EMOTIONS CAN BE KIND OF A SCARY PROCESS BUT IF YOU CAN'T FEEL THAT VULNERABILITY IF YOU CAN'T OPEN YOURSELF
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UP TO THE POWER OF THAT OTHER PERSON THERE WON'T BE A SEDUCTION IT'LL BE THIS KIND OF COLD MECHANICAL PROCESS RIGHT
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Why practice speaking with this video?
Engaging with Robert Greene's insights on love and seduction provides a unique context for practicing your English speaking skills. The conversational style of the video allows learners to pick up natural expressions, intonations, and rhythms of speech that are essential in casual discussions. By using the shadowing technique, you can imitate the speaker’s voice and pacing to enhance your fluency. This method, known as shadow speech, helps embed language patterns in your memory, making it easier to use them in your own conversations. As you practice, pay attention to the emotional undertones and pauses, which are integral for effective communication.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
There are several key structures utilized in the video that are valuable for learners:
- Conditional sentences: Greene often uses phrases beginning with "If" to discuss possibilities, such as "If you want a long-term relationship." This structure helps express hypothetical situations.
- Reflexive verbs: The use of phrases like "opening ourselves up" signifies a focus on introspection. Learning to use reflexive verbs effectively can improve how you articulate personal experiences.
- Comparative structures: Greene makes comparisons, such as "the physical component... will actually be intensified." Understanding this can help in making contrasts in your speaking for clearer communication.
- Rhetorical questions: Questions like "Can I talk to this person in five years?" emphasize a point and engage listeners, making them effective conversational tools.
Common Pronunciation Traps
In this video, certain words and phrases can be tricky for non-native speakers:
- 'Seduction': Pay attention to the syllable emphasis—focus on the second syllable to pronounce it as 'se-DUC-tion.'
- 'Vulnerability': This word is often mispronounced. Ensure you articulate each syllable: 'vul-ner-abil-i-ty.'
- 'Character': This term should not be pronounced as 'chara-cter' (with two clear Cs) but rather as 'care-acter' (with a softer C before 'a').
By practicing these words with the shadow speak method, you will not only improve your pronunciation but also increase your confidence in using advanced vocabulary in conversations.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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