Shadowing Practice: If you suffer for love you are a silly person - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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we tend to, at least I speak for myself,
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we tend to, at least I speak for myself,
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act in an unreasonable way if I love someone.
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That's because you're confusing love with care.
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See, when people say, you are my friend,
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you are my sister, you are my wife,
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my girlfriend, you are supposed to care about me meaning you're supposed to sacrifice for me
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you're supposed to show me attention and
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if you need to do something unreasonable to demonstrate the so-called love that you have for me this attention,
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this care this support
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then so be it that's what I require of you but when they say that They require care, not love.
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Because as you know, as we all know,
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love doesn't make any demands.
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And love doesn't ask for sacrifice.
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And love would never want you to go into vice to prove itself to someone.
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And love never asks you to prove anything to anyone.
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Love never asks you to prove anything to it Or to yourself, to anyone
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So what makes you think That it becomes more difficult When you love someone to act out of reason Because love,
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quite the opposite Tells you,
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do not sacrifice I don't ask it of you
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If you sacrifice anything for anyone
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Not because you wanted to
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But to prove love But because they demand it Because they require it from you
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Then you are in fact out of love You do not have me
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That's what love tells you
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So love makes it easier for you To not make sacrifices In the name of someone else Which goes against reason,
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against justice Against truth Against what is right and proper And real And with everything else I'm just mentioning sacrifice But again,
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all these other things.
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Love does not ask you to prove.
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Love does not ask you to judge anyone.
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Love does not ask you to look down on anyone else or to look down on yourself.
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Love does not ask you to idolize anyone or anything.
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In fact, it says the opposite.
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The more you concentrate me on someone,
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the less you shall have me.
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This is why all those people who adore certain people,
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they're almost like worshiping them, right?
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They're saying, I love this person,
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and I will do everything for that person.
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And that very much includes,
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by the way, cheating, lying, deceiving, stealing, literally anything.
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Anything that this person would require of them.
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And more often than not,
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in fact, I would say every single time,
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those people who are loved the most are then hated the most.
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Because you're idolizing someone or something that cannot be an idol.
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It cannot be perfect.
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It cannot be a god.
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It will make a mistake.
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And as soon as someone that you idolize makes a mistake,
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they fall out of idolatry.
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They become lesser than an idol.
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And then you say, you stabbed me in the back.
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You lied to me.
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You pretended to be one thing.
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And now it turns out you're not perfect.
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You're not like you said you were,
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or like you thought they were.
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Whatever it may be.
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Either way, you will get disappointed.
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That's the point.
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And so, love doesn't require any of those things that care requires.
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And so, whenever we think,
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though, we are in love, we are of care.
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And so in fact, the very last thing we have when we care about someone in this way,
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the very last thing is love that we have.
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And so if you want to discuss how care makes it more difficult to be of reason, no problem.
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That's very clear to you, right?
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And you wouldn't even have that confusion.
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You wouldn't even ask that question.
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But that love makes it harder to be of reason.
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No way.
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It makes it easier.
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In fact, love and reason are tightly related.
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Because reason brings you to peace.
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And love is peace.
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You're not at peace when you're sacrificing.
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You're not at peace when you're trying to prove something to someone.
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You're not at peace when you're suffering to show anyone how important they are to you.
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So love is not peace.
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I mean care is not peace and love is not care
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and love makes it easier to reason to be of reason and reason makes it easier to be of love
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not harder does that make sense?
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but certainly loving someone loving someone implies care how do we make that distinction?
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loving someone does not require care loving someone requires that you don't care
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so to love someone is to wish them well
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okay and to wish someone well is this that they know the difference between right and wrong good and bad
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vice and virtue awareness and unawareness All these highest,
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most beautiful, most proper things for a human being.
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That is love.
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To wish these things onto someone else is love.
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And this is how it is possible to love everyone.
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You see?
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You cannot romantically love everyone.
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Impossible.
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And you wouldn't want to.
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but in this way to wish well to wish the greatest things
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that human being can experience and be in the presence of onto someone else what is more loving than that
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so to wish well is actually a much more loving thing to do
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both in intensity as well as in quantity so now you are able to love
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every single human being on earth and every single thing else.
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Because even someone who you think is a criminal,
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is a bad person is a liar,
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cheater, deceiver, a cruel, violent person.
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Even to them you would wish this, no?
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That they know good from bad,
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right from wrong, and vice from virtue and awareness from unawareness?
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Who would you not wish them on to?
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In fact, the so-called worse a person,
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the more they are in need of this
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and the more they would benefit from this and the more we all would benefit.
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Because there is nothing more beneficial to an aware person than other unaware people becoming aware.
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And so love in this sense is something that we can do for everyone and will want to do for everyone
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and thereby we will exclude no one.
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We will judge no one because all it is is to wish well.
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It is not to apply a certain standard,
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which is what care is.
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Love does not apply a certain standard.
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Love is simply a wish.
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I wish you well.
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Wherever you are, at whatever stage you are, I wish you well.
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And so in that sense, I love you.
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This is the best, most important,
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most fundamental, highest, and most valuable thing you could say and wish on to, more importantly, anyone.
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Whether this is your romantic partner or a complete stranger.
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It is the best thing you can do for anyone, including yourself.
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This is why so many people who are unable to love themselves
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try to go and love someone else with the expectation that that will fix them too.
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There's so many people out there,
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you hear it all the time,
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they say, I want to learn love.
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Learn to love myself by loving someone else.
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They think that if they pour love onto someone else,
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this person is going to pour love onto them and thereby make them worthy of them loving themselves.
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What a convoluted plan.
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What a mess.
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and then when they pour all this love onto someone with that expectation,
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which is extremely cruel and selfish if you think about it,
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and then this other person,
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either they don't receive enough love from them or this is the problem.
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No matter how much love this other person would give you,
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so-called love, it would never be enough for you because you don't know how to love yourself.
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And so then you're going to think there's something wrong with that person
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because they're not able to give you enough love or the love that you deserve or the love that you're looking for.
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And since a romantic partner is supposed to be your only partner,
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I mean, in case you believe that,
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well, you could never romantically be involved with the entire world at the same time,
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that's for sure.
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Then you say, oh, okay,
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I just picked the wrong partner.
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And then they move on to the next one and the next one and the next one and the next one.
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And they can never do that with every single human being.
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So they will never realize that it's not them and that what they're trying to give and receive,
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it was never love.
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And they will never know.
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And they will never love.
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But this is what love truly is.
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And so the more you concentrate on someone The more you can be sure that it is care,
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not love Because love cannot be concentrated As soon as you take love
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And you try to squish it together So that it becomes concentrated Dense enough to give to one person
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It will slip out of your hands and it will go away And you will be out of love Love will say,
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I'm out You are forcing me into something that I am not And love will not let you do that
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Care will let you do that
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You can break pieces off of care And you can put them together
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And you can do whatever you want You can shape it and give it to someone else
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And then of course you're going to want to Them do the same thing in return for you.
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And if they don't do it, uh-oh.
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And even if they do do it,
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they're going to have to do it again.
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One time isn't enough.
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And the next time better be bigger and better.
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So on and so forth,
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until it becomes impossible to show that much care.
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Which was never right to begin with.
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So when you truly understand what love is and when you truly love everyone,
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that's when you can love someone.
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That's why we always say around here,
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I didn't invent this, but I certainly partake in it,
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the idea that you cannot love anyone until you love everyone.
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and this is what it means to love everyone
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to wish everyone well so once you are able to wish everyone well you are able to love anyone
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yourself or anyone else
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the one and only thing that stands between you and the ability to wish everyone well is your anger is your hatred
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is your resentment, is your bitterness,
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your disappointment, your frustration, your pride.
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All of the passions, all of the extreme emotions,
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those are what stand in the way.
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As soon as you let go of hatred,
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of resentment, of anger, of pride,
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of judgment, All these things which are emotions Passions As well as vices coincidentally Or not so coincidentally
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As soon as you let go of them You are able to wish everyone well You see it so many times
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You say Enemies Enemies Do not wish each other well Is there a more obvious thing to say than that?
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Enemies cannot, do not, wish each other well.
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Why?
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Because they hate each other.
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They resent each other.
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And if they would let go of their anger,
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they think that they would let the other person win.
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And so they would rather suffer,
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they would rather never know what love is,
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including for themselves, and rather keep fighting and struggling and suffering and live a life of agony than to say,
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anger is destroying me.
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Anger is wrong.
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And I wish that person well.
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Because especially, like we said before,
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if they're wrongdoers, if they're criminal,
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so-called evil people, especially then I wish them well.
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Because especially then, Are they in lack of all of those things that would benefit me also,
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at least in a physical way?
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If all the ignorant, dangerous people that you meet out when you're driving your car out in traffic,
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if you wish them well and that wish came true,
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that they finally understand right from wrong,
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awareness from unawareness, it would be safer for you.
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Never mind them.
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But of course that's mixing the physical and the spiritual Again,
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we don't want to get into that But you know what I mean,
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it's just an example
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And so this is what love is
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So now tell me again that love makes it more difficult to be of reason
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Why practice speaking with this video?
This video titled "If you suffer for love you are a silly person" offers a unique perspective on love and relationships, making it an engaging choice for those looking to learn English with YouTube. As you follow along with the speaker, you will encounter emotionally charged expressions that can enhance your vocabulary and speaking skills. By practicing your English speaking with this video, you can develop a greater understanding of nuanced emotions and improve your ability to articulate your feelings in conversation.
Moreover, the relatable theme allows you to reflect on your own experiences while simultaneously practicing shadow speech. By mimicking the speaker's intonation and rhythm, you can build confidence and fluency in English.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
The speaker employs several key structures that can significantly enhance your English speaking practice:
- Use of Conditional Statements: Phrases like "if you suffer for love" emphasize hypothetical scenarios. This structure allows you to explore the nuances of possibility and consequence.
- Imperatives and Advice: Phrases such as "love never asks you to prove anything" give direct advice. Understanding how to convey advice using imperatives can be valuable in everyday conversation.
- Contrasting Ideas: The speaker often contrasts love and care. Learning to use linking words effectively can help you structure more complex ideas in your discussions.
- Reflections on Emotional States: Expressions like "you're confusing love with care" invite introspection. Incorporating personal reflections in your speaking practice will engage listeners and make your dialogue more relatable.
Common Pronunciation Traps
As you practice with this video, be mindful of several pronunciation challenges that may arise:
- Words such as "sacrifice" and "idolatry": These terms can be tricky due to their syllable structure and emphasis. Practice saying them slowly, focusing on each syllable to build clarity in your speech.
- Intonation Patterns: The speaker's emotional delivery means that you should pay attention to rising and falling intonation. This can alter the meaning and perceived emotion in your speech.
- Connected Speech: The natural flow of spoken English may lead to blending words together. For instance, phrases like "you are supposed to care" may sound quicker and connect more closely. Practice shadowing the speaker to master these connections.
By utilizing the English speaking practice techniques highlighted in this video, you will find that your confidence and fluency will grow, making conversations more enjoyable and meaningful in your journey to learn English with YouTube.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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