Shadowing Practice: Psychology of People Who Have No Friends - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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Alright, imagine the scene.
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Alright, imagine the scene.
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Saturday night.
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You open Instagram and boom.
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Smack in the face.
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Other people's squads.
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The sound of glasses clinking.
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Group selfies with big grins.
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Accompanied by some cheesy caption like, Besties forever.
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Be honest.
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Do you ever feel a sting in your heart?
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Society keeps whispering in our ears.
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There.
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That is the peak of life.
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That the more friends you hang out with,
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the more connections you have,
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the more successful and VIP you are.
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Now, take a deep breath and look at your own Saturday night.
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Maybe you're alone in your room.
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Maybe your phone has been silent for two days, not a single ding.
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Even just the thought of having to reply to a group chat makes you feel instantly drained.
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If you tell someone, oh,
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I don't have a squad and I don't have a best friend either,
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I bet they'll look at you with a mix of pity and suspicion.
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They'll immediately slap a label on your forehead.
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Weirdo.
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Depressed?
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Or maybe poor social skills?
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They think you're glitched somewhere.
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But hold on.
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What if I told you that for a special group of people,
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this solitude isn't a failure?
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What if science proves that the brains of those who prefer being alone are actually better to perceive this world more deeply?
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Sound attractive yet?
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Sit down, we are about to smash the ridiculous stereotypes about loners.
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By the end of this video,
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you won't just accept your solitude.
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You might actually feel sorry for those who are always running out of breath chasing the crowd out there.
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Let's start.
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First, let's be fair.
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Why does having no friends make us feel a sharp pain?
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A tightening sensation like being punched in the gut.
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To understand this uncomfortable feeling,
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we have to rewind time about 200,000 years.
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You didn't miss here 200,000 years.
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That's when our ancestors, Homo sapiens,
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appeared and started shaping the brain you are using today.
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You have to remember this.
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Biologically, we humans are weak.
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No fangs, no claws, slow runners, thin skin.
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In that prehistoric jungle, any guy who went solo was basically signing his own death warrant.
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The only superpower that helped our ancestors survive was the pack.
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Being brothers meant someone watched your back while you slept.
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Someone shared a piece of meat.
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Being kicked out of the group wasn't just sad,
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it was a death sentence.
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Because of that, the human brain installed an extremely powerful siren system.
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Modern brain scanners have discovered a fascinating fact.
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When you are rejected or isolated by society,
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the brain region that lights up is identical to when you break a leg or cut your hand.
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That means, to our ancient brain,
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emotional pain and physical pain are one and the same.
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When you are alone, the brain immediately pumps stress hormones into your body.
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It forces you to be on guard.
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Danger!
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Danger!
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Why are you alone?
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Who is protecting you?
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It makes you restless.
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Unable to sleep.
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Conversely, whenever you squeeze into a crowd,
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the brain releases safety hormones,
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and your heart rate slows down.
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And that is why 90% of people out there crave belonging to a group.
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They aren't just looking for fun,
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they are looking for biological safety.
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So when the world sees you eating alone or going to the movies alone and acting totally chill,
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the primal instinct part of their brain screams,
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that guy is a freak.
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Why doesn't he need protection?
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But this is where it gets interesting.
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Evolution always creates exceptions.
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And who knows, maybe you are that brilliant exception.
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Let's see if that's true.
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So the million dollar question is,
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why do some people panic when alone while you feel like you can finally breathe a sigh of relief.
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The difference doesn't lie in personality,
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but in how your brain celebrates.
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There is an underground war between two factions,
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the dopamine addicts and the acetylcholine lovers.
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Let me explain this clearly.
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Focus now.
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People who love gathering and partying are usually addicted to dopamine.
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This is the chemical of external excitement.
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new people, hearing drama, loud music,
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it all pumps dopamine for them.
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To them, a crowd is a charging station.
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But you are different.
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People with few friends often have brains that are overly sensitive to dopamine.
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For you, a loud party isn't a reward, it's torture.
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It makes your system overload.
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After a social outing, do you find yourself exhausted, like a social hangover?
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You You need to hole up in your house for days to recover.
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Instead your brain is addicted to a different, smoother, classier substance, acetylcholine.
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While dopamine looks outward for joy,
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acetylcholine looks inward for peace.
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This substance helps you focus deeply,
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reflect, and enjoy the silence.
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When you sit alone reading a book,
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thinking, or simply watching the rainfall,
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you aren't depressed like people assume.
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You are bathing your brain in relaxation.
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You are getting high on the absolute focus that crowd addicts rarely get to taste.
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You don't lack joy.
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You're just running on a different type of fuel.
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A fuel that is cleaner,
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more durable, and much more premium.
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And now, let's be realistic.
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Let's look at friendship as an investment.
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The brutal truth is, friendship is very expensive.
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It doesn't just cost coffee money, it costs brain energy.
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You have to remember birthdays,
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listen to them whine about their exes, flatter each other.
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But for the loner, there is another huge fee,
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which is the acting fee.
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Be honest, how many times have you had to fake a smile when listening to a boring story?
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How many times did you have to nod and pretend to care when your head just wanted to go home and sleep?
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Most social interactions force us to wear a mask,
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and wearing that mask burns up your energy.
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People who choose to have few friends are usually picky investors.
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Subconsciously, you ask yourself, why must I burn 60% of my battery every day for people I only know casually?
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If the return on investment is too low, then quit playing.
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So where does that energy go?
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You pour it into deep work.
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You pour it into a rich inner world.
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Or pour it into one or two truly important soulmates.
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You aren't bad at relationships.
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You just don't like scattering loose change everywhere.
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You invest all your capital into the things that yield the highest profit, which is yourself.
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If this mindset is valuable to you,
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drop a like for Apex.
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One like from a person of taste is worth a thousand random likes.
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Okay, let me introduce you to a concept called the looking glass self.
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Roughly understood.
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Most people define themselves based on the reflection of others.
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Want to feel funny?
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Need a crowd to laugh.
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Want to feel valuable?
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Must count virtual likes.
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Unintentionally, they turn themselves into puppets.
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Happy or sad, it depends entirely on someone else's hands.
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But people without a squad are forced to live differently.
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When there is no mirror to lean on,
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you are forced to switch from looking out to looking in.
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Think about it.
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When you face frustration and have no friends to dump your emotional trash on,
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what do you do?
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You can't rely on anyone.
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You are forced to sit down yourself,
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analyze yourself, and heal your own wounds.
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This process isn't easy, but it forges a rare set of psychological armor for you.
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Absolute autonomy.
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You don't need to wait for the whole group to approve before buying a shirt you like.
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You don't need anyone to nod to know you're on the right track.
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Your self-esteem is solid because it isn't built on the quicksand of public opinion.
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While others live in fear of being boycotted,
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fear of being left out, you are immune.
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How can there be an out when you are the center of the universe you created?
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That isn't loneliness.
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That is peak freedom.
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But wait, we're adults here.
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Let's be honest.
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Don't be too quick to romanticize loneliness into something too cool.
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We have to ask a hard question.
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Is this solitude chosen by you,
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or is it because you are afraid?
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For some of you watching this video,
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I understand that having no friends isn't a life philosophy.
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It's a scar.
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Maybe you were the kid bullied at school.
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Maybe you once absolutely trusted someone called a best friend only to receive a painful stab in the back.
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After that shock, your brain automatically installed a ruthless formula.
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Humans equals pain.
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Therefore, you choose loneliness as a final defensive shield.
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You build concrete walls around yourself,
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not because you like being in the castle,
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but because you fear the enemy outside.
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You say, I don't need anyone.
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because admitting you need them sounds too risky.
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If you see yourself in that,
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I want to say, it's okay.
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That doesn't mean you are broken.
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It means you are a survivor.
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Your brain is just doing its correct biological function,
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protecting the owner from getting hurt again.
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But remember, the goal is for solitude to be a place where you rest,
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not a prison that confines you.
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Use this time to heal,
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not to run away forever, okay?
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Now, let's flip the issue.
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People often judge those who go alone as cold and unfeeling.
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But here is the ironic plot twist of nature.
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Those who like to hole up alone are often people with sky-high empathy scores.
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Sounds wrong, right?
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If empathy is good, why not like being around others?
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That's because you don't have thick skin like normal people.
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You are like an emotional sponge without a filter.
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The radar in your head operates at overly high power.
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See someone sad, you feel sad to your core.
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See someone anxious, your heart pounds as if it's your own problem.
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Now try putting that super sensitive radar at a drinking table of six people.
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Smashing into your intuition is a chaotic mess.
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Resentment, whining, insecurity, envy, fakeness, and judging eyes.
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While others just see fun,
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for a sensitive person like you,
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it is a full-scale attack on the nervous system.
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You unconsciously suck all that toxic energy into your body.
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The result?
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The party ends, they go home refreshed,
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while you drag yourself home with a head as heavy as if you just fought a war.
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That is why you are forced to withdraw.
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You choose to have no friends not because you are heartless or arrogant,
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but on the contrary because you care too much, feel everything too deeply.
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You staying away from the crowd is actually a mandatory survival mechanism.
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You don't hate people, you are just protecting your battery because it wears out too easily.
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Finally, let's look at history's Hall of Fame.
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Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Beethoven,
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or even the giant Picasso.
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Do you think they spent their precious Friday nights going clubbing or nervously worrying about being unfollowed on social media?
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Not at all.
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They were great loners.
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Society today is busy chasing fast food dopamine,
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a few virtual likes, some empty social laughs,
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and then forgetting it all.
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But solitary souls are different.
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They don't hunt for temporary joy.
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They hunt for legacy.
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When you are alone, the brain switches to a mode called the default mode network.
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Sounds technical, but that is when the magic happens.
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In this world that is noisy to the point of suffocation,
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boredom is almost extinct.
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But boredom is the holy ground for creativity to sprout.
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If your hand is always scrolling on a phone and your ears are listening to gossip,
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where is the gap for a million dollar idea to squeeze in?
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When you boldly cut out useless socializing,
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you profit thousands of hours of life.
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In that absolute silence, you truly meet yourself.
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There is a great saying,
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you are the average of the five people you hang out with most.
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So what if you have no friend group?
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Congratulations.
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You aren't diluted by anyone.
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You are a perfect original.
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A limited version with no duplicates.
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So what does all this mean?
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If no one asks you out this weekend,
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please stop blaming yourself for being inferior.
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Simply put, you are playing a different game than them.
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While they are busy connecting,
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you are learning to stand on your own two feet.
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While they run after the noise,
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you are mining the power of silence.
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While they build a network of relationships,
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you are building your own character.
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There is a big difference between loneliness and solitude.
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Loneliness is the pain of being abandoned.
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Solitude is the pride of daring to stand alone.
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Next time someone asks why you talk so little or why you don't go out,
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no need to explain, no need to apologize.
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Just smile.
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Because you know you aren't missing out on any fun.
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You are just busy building a private empire in a world addicted to illusions.
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Okay, that's it for this video.
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If this resonated with you,
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there's a good chance you're wired a bit differently than the crowd.
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And that's exactly where your power lies.
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Don't go back to the noise just yet.
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Click the video on your screen to find out why your perspective is more unique than you think.
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I am Apex.
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Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss any videos.
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Goodbye, and see you again.
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About This Lesson
In this lesson, you will practice speaking English by engaging with a thought-provoking topic: the psychology of people who have no friends. You will explore common feelings associated with loneliness and societal perceptions through the lens of scientific insights. This lesson is designed to help you improve your spoken English skills through the shadowing technique. By imitating the speech patterns and intonation of the video, you will enhance your pronunciation and comprehension, particularly beneficial if you are preparing for the IELTS speaking practice.
Key Vocabulary & Phrases
- Squad - a group of friends or peers
- Grins - broad smiles
- Connection - a bond or relationship with others
- Solitude - the state of being alone
- Perceive - to see or understand in a particular way
- Stereotypes - widely held but oversimplified ideas about a group
- Biologically - in terms of biology or human physiology
Practice Tips
When using the shadowing technique with this video, focus on mirroring the speaker’s rhythm and pace. The content is rich and engaging, which may vary in speed, so it's important to practice in segments. Start with short clips, repeating phrases after the speaker, ensuring you match their tone and emotions. This will not only help you with your spoken English but also improve your ability to convey complex thoughts clearly.
For effective shadowspeak, listen to a sentence, pause, and then repeat it aloud. Be mindful of any challenging phrases or vocabulary, and don’t hesitate to rewind if you need to hear it again. Incorporate this practice into your regular study routine, as you’ll quickly notice improvements in your fluency and confidence. Whether you're studying for an exam or just looking to learn English with YouTube, this method is an enjoyable way to absorb language nuances and develop your speaking abilities.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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