Shadowing Practice: Realise when it’s time to let go - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

Hi guys, I know this is not my usual setting,

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Hi guys, I know this is not my usual setting,

but I was actually going to bed and I felt called to do this video.

And it's basically about letting go,

knowing when to let go and how to let go.

And the reason why I want to do this video is

because for the past days I have been helping a friend of mine,

giving him advice on how to let go of a job that he has been working at for seven years.

and it's like his career field and he just stopped growing in

that career so he began to feel miserable

and the boss kept promising him stuff but never delivering on it

and he basically told me Liz what should I do and I told him you have to leave.

You know when you're stuck in a situation like

that where you're miserable people are promising your stuff they're not delivering on or you're stuck in a relationship,

what you need to do,

you need to think about,

I was reading this book,

yeah, in The Art of Thinking Clearly,

it talked about something, it's called the sunk cost fallacy.

Sunk cost fallacy basically means you don't have to look at how much time

or energy you spent into something as a reason,

as why you should stay.

You should look at what is the future of this thing like it doesn't matter how much time

or energy you put in if the future of it is not going to get better

if if you have put years into that relationship and energy

and whatever but you're unhappy and you see your future in

that relationship being unhappy then there's no point in staying

if the same with with the company or your work

if it's not going up there's no point in staying first thing i think what you should do is realize

when you're being manipulated when a person is promising you stuff

and never delivering on it you are being manipulated

if someone is telling you even

if a boss is telling you yeah you will get this position

if you do this then you do that thing

and you still don't get that position that's manipulation

because like they're promising you stuff

but they're never delivering on it you know same way in

the relationship they're promising you to change they're promising you

that they'll do better or whatever it won't happen again

but then it does manipulation they're just saying anything to make you stay if

if the words don't match the actions you leave you guys

need to stop believing people on words people are full of bullshit okay let's be honest here like it's

so easy to lie why would not everyone lie you know

if i wanted to keep a girl

but i know i like i'm not serious with her

but i can just sleep around with her i would also

lie to her to make her stay you know why not

if i can why not you know most most people don't feel bad

when they do that and you need to realize

that not everyone has a good heart or morals or

or feel feels bad about the stuff no most people don't

and you guys need to start realizing that the world is really harsh

when the words do not match the action see i had

so many people in my life screaming to me liz i love you i love you

but then they would do stuff to me that was

so shitty that i would think like how is this love you know

and then you have me i'm verbally i don't say

that much like oh i love you but i will always show my actions

that i respect you i love you and i'm loyal to you like my actions will always show

i don't talk i show you

and that's how you have to look at people look at your boss is are they just talking

or are they actually giving me what i want

and what they promised me look at your relationship the same

way the thing is what they can easily get will never be valued okay

and also if you're easy like if you're loyal to a company

that is literally not giving you what you want

but promising making false promises also they will not value you

because see with my friend And the issue was what his boss did is he promised,

promised, promised, never delivered.

But the boss knew the guy would never leave.

He's so loyal to this company.

He knew he would not leave.

So he knew this behavior could go on for years and years without him really doing anything.

You know, and they would even say like,

oh, no, he will never leave.

Doesn't matter, whatever.

That's how these people start to disrespect you.

Start to value yourself, you know.

start to value what you want and what you think that you deserve.

Relationships don't get too easily with people.

Make them literally work for you.

Make people prove, especially if you're going into a relationship with a man,

make that man prove to you that he's worthy of being with you.

Because in this day and age,

and I truly believe this is the issue with most relationships these days,

is because we've created this whole thing of like,

oh no, they don't have to do anything anymore.

Everything's equal, this and that so then you have men

that don't want to show up

and be men anymore they're just like okay whatever i don't have to do anything

so they're not going to do anything

and even worse they want to take from the woman now

yes i do believe in equality i do believe a man

and a woman should be equal and and i'm happy

if that's the way it is but at the end of the day if if you

like make it so easy for a man to get with you

and he doesn't have to do anything at all

and he can still be in a relationship with you they will abuse

that power they will abuse that power and

that is not an that's not equality you know

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because again they're more powerful over you

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because you're giving yourself away for nothing this person doesn't even appreciate you respect you doesn't do anything for you

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and you're just giving yourself you're giving your time value yourself making someone literally prove to you

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that they're a good person with their actions is valuing yourself that is self-respect it's just nothing worse than wasted time

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wasted time on people don't waste your time your your time is valuable you guys like literally i've heard

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so many older people say time flies like this today you're 20 years old tomorrow you're 80 and it flies like this.

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Don't waste your time on dumb people.

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Don't waste your time on dumb people.

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Don't put your energy into people that promise you stuff.

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Don't deliver.

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Don't go to people that don't respect you or are toxic because you're lonely and you don't have anyone.

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So I'll just stay with them.

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But then you end up being miserable.

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Again, they're taking away from you.

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They're taking away from your years and you end up feeling bad about yourself.

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You end up feeling insecure and thinking

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that you cannot do anything better those kind of bosses those

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kind of relationship people what they will do is they will

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make it seem like you are this is the only good

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thing you will ever get like you cannot get any better than this and

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that is just such like that's one of the things they

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do with their manipulation yeah they have to make you feel like you cannot get do anything better

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so that toxic partner will make you feel like you cannot get anyone better than him

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or anyone that treats you decency and respect they will make you actually believe

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that or your job they will make you believe

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that oh you cannot get anywhere better you will not be

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paid better you will not get the same uh respect

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or position whatever that's such bullshit like stop listening to these

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people it's not true it's not true order to control you they have to make you feel this small

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but you have the power to take you to take

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that back and be like no you know what i deserve much better

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and i'm capable of much better and yes i can get much better than you

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and you can there's literally billions of people in this world

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and you think this one douchebag is your only option please there's literally

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so many companies you can start your own company there's

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so many options in this world money is only an energy

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if you start to understand money in an energetic way you

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also start to realize it doesn't have to be this hard these toxic people constantly benefit from putting you down

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and making you feel this small but like stop it has to stop

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and the only power you have right now is to take your own power back.

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You gave away your power to those people.

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Those people are not powerful without your energy that you gave to them.

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That company is nothing without you.

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That company needs you.

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You don't need them.

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That toxic person needs you.

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You don't need them.

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You think anyone wants to be with someone that treats them like shit?

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Nobody wants to do that.

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So when they're telling you you can't do anything better,

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they're actually projecting onto you.

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They can't do anything better.

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That company cannot find a better employee than you.

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That partner cannot find a better partner than you because you're the only one that wants to put up with their stuff.

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Nobody else wants to do that.

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Whether it's a company, whether it's a relationship,

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that thing, whatever it is,

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should always add to your life and not take away from it.

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for example the my friend

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that works for the company he completely doesn't have any time anymore uh for his friends

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or family constantly working constantly working became miserable his relationships are failing um

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so and he doesn't even make enough money to make up for

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that you know so it's like his relationships are completely failing

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and the company's taking away from his relationship his personal life it shouldn't do

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that if you're doing a job that job should add you should make your money and

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and you should like you should still have your life you should still have be able to keep your relationships

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and the same way you know i'm gonna say one thing have a partner

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and you have a good family that cares about you

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and your family says that this guy is not good for you

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or this girl is not good for you and they can see it

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and and you actually also know there's kind of red flags

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but you still choose that partner over your family

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and you lose your family because you chose

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that partner that's a dumb decision i'm gonna say it here that's a dumb decision

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if you have a good family i'm not talking about toxic families

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if you have a family that actually cares about you once

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that toxic person that got you away from your family knows

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that you don't have anyone anymore

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and you're not communicating with your family anymore you're done you're done you're literally like caged for them

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because they have all control now every time you want to

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leave though they'll say where do you want to go you

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don't have anyone they they literally feed off of this you cannot catch me go against literally the people

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that I love because of a man honestly truly truly had friends co-workers people

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that I used to know tell me that they did this

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when when they had a good family

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and they said it was the worst decision of my life the person became abusive the person literally did anything

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and everything to me and um yeah at the end of the day they felt isolated

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so much trauma coming out of it because

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you're not talking to anyone anymore you don't have anyone to

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go to now you only have this one toxic person

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and you're isolated with them with them sometimes people around you

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that love you you might feel like oh they're going against me they don't know what they're talking about whatever

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sometimes they know better believe me trust me i have seen

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it with my own eyes not with one case i've seen

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multiple cases like this sometimes your loved ones know better realize

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that it's okay to change your mind you don't have to do things like one way

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or just because you studied this and you're in this in this company

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and you did this job but you don't feel good there

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and you want to do something else it's okay to do

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something else you know it's never too late to change direction you will anyways go where you're meant to go

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or where your intuition leads you you will get there

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but maybe it's not a straight line maybe you have to go like this or try different things to

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in order for you to just feel like oh this is

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what i want to do i was watching this interview from tony robbins

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and tony robbins was basically talking about uh humans get unhappy

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and depressed when they stop progressing in life progression is literally what makes us happy that's why even

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if you look at people that are at the top they have millions

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and millions they that you you might look at them

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and see whoa oh my god they accomplished everything

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but they're miserable why do you think

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that is they stopped progressing in life they don't have

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that drive anymore because they have everything so we constantly need to find

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that thing that drives us need to find that thing

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that makes us want to evolve and

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when you feel like it's not okay to change your mind

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or you have to stay this way because this is what you've been taught

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and whatever you'll become miserable at the end of the day

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because you know that this is not what you want

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and second of all you feel like you're not progressing

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because this is not even what you want to begin with you don't even want to progress in this thing

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so you're stuck

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and you will really become miserable start thinking about okay maybe this was not what i wanted i tried this

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but this is not what i want this relationship i tried it

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but this was not what i want i want something else

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it's okay to change your mind it's okay we are here on earth to constantly evolve

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when you stop evolving that's when you stop living

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so once you've made that decision for yourself

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that you have to let go you plan your exit okay

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if you're in that company

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and you want to leave what you do is you search for an other job in another company

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or maybe you're like okay i don't want to work for now i'm going to take off

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and travel or whatever or i'm going to do whatever you can also do

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that uh whatever you want to do

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but plan your exit plan your exit in a relationship if if this is really not what you want.

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Okay, you start thinking about how can I get out of this relationship?

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Do you need financial?

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Do you need money?

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Whatever you need.

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Maybe you can find family members,

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friends, anyone that can help you to get out, plan your exit.

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You do not stay where respect is not served.

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You do not stay where you're manipulated.

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You do not stay where you're miserable.

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Once you have let go and you close

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that door you do not open that door again

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and why am I saying this listen I used to constantly

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when I was uh I had an ex me

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and my ex were good friends

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but um he would constantly like he would take care of me financially

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when I was really really broke and I really needed him

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but I didn't like the relationship anymore and there was no love

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and I wanted to leave I I constantly would like ask God,

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like, please give me someone that I love,

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that they can scare me.

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But that would never happen.

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And I would constantly be stuck with this partner.

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So what happened is I literally in a moment where I was my brokest,

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I was like, you know what,

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I have to let go of my ex.

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Otherwise, the person that is meant for me can never come in.

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So what I did is I was like,

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okay, I'm just gonna let go of him.

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I don't care that I literally have no money, you know, without him.

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So then I let him go.

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And then literally like a year later,

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I met my partner now and he's literally what I've wanted and what I've prayed for.

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So in order for that manifestation to come in that you want about maybe the partner or the job that you want,

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you need to let go of the thing that's not serving you.

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If the thing right now is not what you want,

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but you just hold on to it because it's comfortable,

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you have to have faith and let go because i really really believe

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if you don't believe in god believe in yourself if

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if whether it's the universe something else i don't know i

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really believe god has a bigger plan really honestly i i believe god has a bigger plan

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and i think the things we ask for are just pathetic

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and he has like such a big plan

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and we can have like huge huge stuff but we don't think

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that we can have it so we never attract it

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and this is what i told my friend as well i'm like you have to show God that you trust him.

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You don't have to be afraid to let go of this toxic job that you have right now and be like,

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oh no, if I don't let this go,

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I will not have something else.

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You will because God always provides.

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You will always have, always,

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but you have to have some faith.

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And if you don't believe in God, believe in yourself.

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You will provide for yourself.

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You will you got yourself out of

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so many bad situations did you not like we literally went through

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so much and we're still standing we're still doing our stuff doing like trying to get better

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and trying to evolve

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so you're still here are you not why do you not

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believe in yourself then why do you not think you can

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get better every time you thought this was the end and

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and like you would never get out of this you got out of it didn't you why do you think

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that this time you're gonna fail yourself you're not trust me

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trust me once you let go once i had let go of all the shitty friends

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that i had all like my partner

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that there was no love anymore once i let all of

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that go i i promise you everything i ever wanted came in

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and there is no person that has left my life

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that i missed truly truly i'm sorry and there is no person

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that i would take back from from my previous life like in this like in this new reality

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that i'm living no i'm sorry i'm literally not but once all that

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that like unwanted is gone your true purpose starts to show you start to see what is meant for you

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and and literally miracles start to happen

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because you had faith you had faith in yourself you had faith in god

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and you were not afraid to take risks sometimes in life you need to get uncomfortable see

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when you're jumping from your present reality to the new one

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that you want in the beginning it might be a little

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chaotic like it's not gonna be amazing from the get-go you know

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and you have to accept that

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but that's okay you know you've survived much worse much worse this time

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when you're going into this you actually have a plan

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and you have wisdom that you didn't have before

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so this time around it will be different i promise you it will be different

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and don't also think like oh no it's too late like my age this and

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that whatever no people have done incredible things at 60 at

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70 they've accomplished only you know it doesn't matter it doesn't

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matter your age doesn't matter see age is just a number

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we are a soul you know it's it's all about our soul you guys have to realize

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that our souls are here on earth to evolve literally

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and to learn constantly we have to learn once we stop learning

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and evolving we stop living so in order for you to do

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that you constantly have to experience new things you have to create those experiences for yourself

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and you don't have to be scared to do

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that fear stops everything instead of fear have faith have faith in yourself

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if you believe in god have faith in god have faith in the universe

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everything will work out for you at the end

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but don't do a dishonor to yourself by staying where you're not welcome anyways guys i love you guys

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so much i'm so sorry you're looking like this

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because i know a lot of people don't like it uh

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when i am not dressed up

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but honestly i just really wanted to share this message with you guys

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because i felt like i felt some of you need it um so yeah i love you guys so much bye

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Shadowing Practice: Realise when it’s time to let go - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing Practice: Realise when it’s time to let go - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

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About This Lesson

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

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What is the Shadowing Technique?