Shadowing Practice: The Classic Ones from Season 9 | Friends - Learn English Speaking with Video

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1
I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasn't for fun.
2
It wasn't fun?
3
Why?
4
Why would you...
5
Look, I just don't want you to think that we're animals who do it whenever we want.
6
Oh, I don't think that.
7
Before today, I never thought of you two having sex at all.
8
It was a simpler time.
9
The truth is, Dad, we're trying.
10
What?
11
Yeah, we're trying to get pregnant.
12
Oh, my God.
13
This is so exciting.
14
Well, get back in there.
15
I'll guard the door.
16
That's...
17
It's okay, Dad.
18
We can wait until later.
19
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
20
I don't think so.
21
Aren't you ovulating?
22
Daddy?
23
Well, you gotta get at it, princess.
24
When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it.
25
That's how I got my bad hip.
26
It's funny.
27
This conversation is how I got the bullet hole in my head.
28
I don't know what else to do.
29
I said I'm sorry.
30
Joey.
31
Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me.
32
I'm not gonna hit you.
33
Why not?
34
You'll feel better.
35
I'll feel better.
36
And you know you want to.
37
I can see it in your eyes.
38
No, I don't.
39
A little bit.
40
No. A little bit.
41
No. A little bit more.
42
No, hit me.
43
Give me the back.
44
Hit me.
45
Joey.
46
Give me the back.
47
Hit me.
48
Joe, I'm not kidding.
49
Hit me.
50
No. Hit me.
51
Hit me.
52
Hit me.
53
Hit me.
54
You ducked!
55
I'm sorry, it was a reflex.
56
Oh my God, this really hurts.
57
I couldn't help it.
58
When a fist comes at your face, you duck.
59
Look.
60
Oh!
61
What is the matter with you?
62
You were supposed to duck!
63
Why didn't you duck?
64
Why don't we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
65
Good, good.
66
Yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes.
67
I broke my thumb.
68
Your thumb?
69
That's weird.
70
Are you sure you're punching right?
71
Make a fist.
72
Maybe later.
73
Ross, I feel terrible.
74
You know what?
75
You can go.
76
I just have to fill out some forms.
77
You, uh, you want me to help you with that?
78
Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw?
79
Name.
80
No, I know Ross, but what's it short for?
81
You know, like, like, Rossel.
82
Or, uh, uh, Rostifer.
83
Just Ross.
84
It's pretty.
85
Okay, date of birth?
86
You know my birthday?
87
Sure.
88
May...Tember?
89
October 18th.
90
Occupation, dinosaurs.
91
Actually, I'm a pale...Dinosaurs is fine.
92
The drawing is not.
93
Try feeding her again.
94
I already fed her.
95
I know.
96
That's why I said, again.
97
All right, you guys, we can't turn on each other, okay?
98
That's just what she wants.
99
Hey.
100
Hey.
101
Monica, can I talk you outside for a minute?
102
Oh, no, you guys just stay here.
103
I'm gonna go check her diaper.
104
Phoebs, you wanna come?
105
Oh, I'm kind of part of this.
106
Actually, Phoebs, it's more of a husband and wife kind of thing.
107
I knew I should have married Chandler.
108
Okay, what's up?
109
Okay, um, you know how we always said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year?
110
You know, you could study French cooking, and I could write, and we could picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux.
111
Oh, yes.
112
Okay, you know how people say that Tulsa is the Paris of Oklahoma?
113
What?
114
Who says that?
115
People who have never been to Paris.
116
What's going on?
117
We're moving to Tulsa.
118
Excuse me?
119
Okay.
120
Miss McKenna, she kind of works above my boss.
121
She asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there.
122
And I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
123
Tulsa, Oklahoma.
124
The Sooner State.
125
Whatever that is.
126
Jailer, I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma.
127
Really?
128
Oh, what a beautiful morning?
129
Surrey with a fringe on top?
130
Are you trying to tell me that we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay?
131
Not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
132
No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.
133
I'll get out of it.
134
Thank you.
135
What is wrong with Emma?
136
Oh, she misunderstood.
137
She thought she was moving to Tulsa.
138
Ma 'am, do you have a minute?
139
I kind of have some bad news.
140
I don't think I can move to Tulsa.
141
What?
142
Uh, it's a funny story, actually.
143
Uh, I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning, so when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying.
144
You fell asleep?
145
But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting.
146
Isn't that funny?
147
Irony.
148
Not a fan?
149
All right.
150
Tulsa, I am taking you for a great dinner at Slim Pickens. So cheesy?
151
Whole hog?
152
It's gonna be tough to keep kosher in Tulsa.
153
Hi, Nancy.
154
Hi, it's Monica Geller.
155
I'm good.
156
Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa.
157
Yeah, well, my husband's been relocated. Because I love him.
158
No, no, I don't want a job in New York.
159
Ja Vu's looking?
160
Oh, my God.
161
He asked for me personally?
162
Oh, my God.
163
Oh, wow, this is really, really flattering.
164
But I'm moving to Tulsa.
165
Yeah, so just if you would tell Ja Vu, I'll take it.
166
Oh, hey, Ross.
167
I'm so glad someone's here.
168
Could you zip me up?
169
Uh, sure.
170
Thank you.
171
Can you believe no one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
172
People.
173
So, uh, why are you so dressed up?
174
Oh, um, Mike's picking me up for a date.
175
Oh, yeah?
176
Now, how's that going?
177
Is it getting serious?
178
I don't know.
179
I don't know.
180
I mean, you know, I like him.
181
But, you know, am I ready to take my grade A loins off the meat market?
182
I'm not quite sure.
183
You know, I really admire your whole dating attitude.
184
It's so healthy.
185
I'm always like, is this moving too fast?
186
Is this moving too slow?
187
Where is this going?
188
Yeah, you know, you are a bit of a drama queen.
189
Well, you, you're so much better off, you know?
190
You just go from guy to guy, having fun, and not worrying that it never turns into anything serious.
191
I would say never.
192
You know, there was that guy.
193
Okay, well, what about...
194
Okay, well, there's got to be someone.
195
There isn't.
196
That's what I'm saying.
197
Oh, my God, you're right.
198
I know, and yet here you are, all ready for the next day.
199
I can't believe I never realized this before.
200
I'm in my 30s, and I've never been in a long -term relationship.
201
Bishop?
202
Oh, my God, what's wrong with me?
203
No, no, no, no. There's nothing wrong with you.
204
I mean, you don't strike me as the type of person that wants to get married anyway.
205
I want to get married.
206
Please don't cry because of me.
207
I don't know what I'm talking about, okay?
208
I've been divorced three times.
209
Well, at least you've been married.
210
Oh, my God, I want to trade lives with Ross?
211
Oh!
212
Is it true that the reason you're here in Tulsa is
213
that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
214
Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken.
215
But, yeah, that's true.
216
All right, let's get started by, uh, taking a look at last quarter's figures.
217
Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass?
218
I'm sorry, does it smoke bother you?
219
No, no, no, no. I smoked for years.
220
Then I quit.
221
Right now, I can't remember why.
222
You're not allowed to smoke in this office, though, right?
223
Yes, in Oklahoma, it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less.
224
Would you like one?
225
All right, look, I don't smoke anymore.
226
But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead.
227
It's fine.
228
So you all smoke, then.
229
No, it's almost rude that I'm not smoking.
230
Well, that's not true.
231
If you don't want to smoke...
232
Kent, please!
233
No, I can't smoke.
234
If I smoked, my wife would kill me.
235
I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?
236
I've always liked you, Ken.
237
Everybody has ordered.
238
I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe.
239
She dropped her sock.
240
Aw.
241
What?
242
No, Emma dropped her sock.
243
Mom's here?
244
I wanted to have lunch with her today.
245
She told me she was out of town.
246
But, Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
247
It's a good toast.
248
Will you please get her attention?
249
Oh, what?
250
Mommy?
251
Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock!
252
Pick up the sock!
253
Pick up the sock!
254
I'm sorry, was that rude?
255
This is nice.
256
I know.
257
You need both hands for that?
258
Yeah, I kind of do.
259
Well, how's this?
260
Oh, look at you two, holding hands.
261
Is this getting serious?
262
I, you know.
263
Have you not talked about it yet?
264
Am I making you uncomfortable?
265
If you were bigger, you'd hit me, huh?
266
Oh, man.
267
Sorry.
268
Sorry.
269
It's obviously way too early for us to be having that conversation. Is it?
270
Maybe not, is it?
271
Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time.
272
Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you.
273
And this may be crazy soon, but I want you to have this.
274
No, that's gum.
275
Oh, five bucks.
276
I live it when that happens, you know?
277
It's like, no, no, it's there.
278
You got a life warning.
279
Keep digging.
280
Oh, sorry.
281
Oh, it's a key.
282
To be honest, I think I'd prefer the $5.
283
It's to my apartment.
284
Oh, wow.
285
Ooh.
286
Ooh, big step for Phoebe and Mike.
287
Yeah, look, I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because I give you my...
288
Oh, no, I want to.
289
Oh, thank God.
290
Yeah.
291
Ooh.
292
Well, I'm starting to think I'd never meet someone that, you know, I wanted to do this with.
293
Here you go.
294
This is cool, huh?
295
It really is.
296
Oh, I know it.
297
It is amazing.
298
These little things open doors.
299
Hey.
300
Oh, my God.
301
Hey.
302
Oh.
303
Hey.
304
Look at that.
305
It's a Christmas miracle.
306
What are you doing here?
307
I wanted to be with you.
308
I missed you so much.
309
Hey, hey, who'd you miss the most?
310
Monica.
311
Gotcha.
312
I never want to leave you again.
313
But I thought if you left, you'd get fired.
314
Turns out they can't fire me.
315
Because I quit.
316
What?
317
What?
318
You really quit your job?
319
Yeah, it was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you.
320
And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he really wants to do?
321
Well, what do you really want to do?
322
I have not thought this through.
323
Oh, my God.
324
I know.
325
I should have talked to you first about it.
326
No, I think that this is what you want to do.
327
I think it's great.
328
Thanks.
329
Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
330
Aw.
331
Now, give me my real gift.
332
Can I sing happy birthday to you now?
333
Yeah, sure.
334
Oh, all right.
335
Happy birth.
336
See you later.
337
Hey, Rach.
338
Somebody got your shoes.
339
Oh, give me.
340
Whoa, whoa.
341
Oh, my God!
342
Careful, careful!
343
Oh, these are my rat babies.
344
Yeah, we have rat babies now.
345
Oh, you brought rats to my birthday party?
346
So this is what a stroke feels like.
347
I had to bring them.
348
We killed their mother.
349
They're our responsibility now.
350
You know, they require constant care.
351
You should know that, Rachel.
352
You're a mother.
353
Oh, but...
354
Are you comparing my daughter to a rat?
355
No, seven rats.
356
I think we should take them home.
357
We need to feed them.
358
Why are you gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats?
359
Well, I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you, okay?
360
Not everyone can afford help.
361
What people don't understand is that acting is a discipline.
362
It takes a lot of hard work.
363
So where'd you study?
364
Oh, I didn't go to college.
365
No, where'd you study acting?
366
Molly, people don't study acting.
367
Molly, uh, do you mind giving us just a minute?
368
Sure.
369
I'll go check on Emma.
370
Thanks.
371
Will the stable boy never get the princess?
372
So what do you think you're gonna do, huh?
373
Have sex with her right here on my couch?
374
No. The leather sticks to my ass.
375
You know, this isn't fair.
376
What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off, huh?
377
Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actually like her and might want something real?
378
Look the truth is I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel.
379
Okay?
380
I didn't think I could ever love again.
381
Come on!
382
Hey, I'm old.
383
What's wrong?
384
I am so much older than these other interns.
385
I can't compete with them.
386
I saw you were a little older.
387
Try to look at the positive.
388
You have all this life experience.
389
Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these.
390
Wow!
391
It's like they're on fire!
392
What are they?
393
They're these prototype sneakers, and I have to come up with ideas on how to sell them, which I can't do because no self -respecting adult would ever wear these.
394
I'll give you $500 for them.
395
What am I supposed to do with these?
396
Come on, sneakers are easy.
397
You wear sneakers all the time.
398
Well, first of all, they're not called sneakers anymore.
399
Apparently, they're called kicks or skids.
400
And I think I heard somebody say slurps.
401
Here, look.
402
They get these wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around because apparently walking is too much exercise.
403
Kids, kids!
404
Roll your way to childhood obesity.
405
Would you help me try to sell these?
406
Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?
407
Uh, I don't think that's the kind of thing they're looking for.
408
Hey, that'd work on me.
409
Why do you think I'd buy Mrs. Butterworth's?
410
You know what?
411
These aren't half bad.
412
You should suggest something like these to Ralph Lauren.
413
Okay, first of all, that's stupid.
414
And second of all, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph.
415
All right.
416
I feel younger already.
417
We should have talked about this before.
418
Us living together.
419
You're not expecting a proposal, right?
420
Oh, no, no, not at all.
421
We're just moving in right now.
422
We'll see where it goes.
423
Yeah, well, that's the thing.
424
For me, it's as far as it can ever go.
425
What do you mean?
426
Look, Phoebe, I...
427
I love you very much, but I never want to get married again.
428
Oh.
429
Wow.
430
No, it's just my first marriage was, you know, such a disaster that I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
431
Mm -hmm.
432
Was it really that bad?
433
At one point near the end, she deliberately defecated on...
434
Okay, well, that's bad, yeah.
435
But don't you think it might be different with someone else?
436
Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet.
437
Except for once in the ocean.
438
Look, it's...
439
It's not about who I would marry.
440
I was certain the first time I got married, it would last forever, and I was totally wrong.
441
But it just...
442
Look, Phoebe, it's not about you.
443
I just never want to get married again.
444
Huh.
445
I'm sorry.
446
Are you okay with that?
447
Because if not, maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
448
No. Oh, I definitely don't want to get married.
449
No, I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to, too.
450
Whoo!
451
Okay.
452
Because, you know, if we move in and you start changing your mind, there's gonna be hell to pay, mister.
453
Oh.
454
Yeah.
455
Trust me, I will never.
456
Yeah, I get that, yeah.
457
Hey, Phoebs, you know, I'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day, and I hope I was a little helpful.
458
Oh, yeah, you were helpful.
459
Yeah.
460
No, thank you.
461
Good, good.
462
Yeah, because the more I thought about it, the more I realized, ah, I don't think marriage is necessarily the right path for you.
463
What do you mean?
464
Well, I know the other day in the coffee house, you were all caught up in the whole soccer mom thing, but is that really you?
465
I mean, can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
466
They are awfully boxy.
467
I mean, I don't know.
468
You'd be so bored with marriage.
469
I mean, it's so normal.
470
Uh -huh.
471
Yeah.
472
Hey, hey, can I help?
473
Well, we climbed up four flights of stairs, maneuvered a narrow hallway, dodged a rabid pit bull, but these last three feet are where it gets really tricky.
474
You know, sometimes your words, they hurt.
475
Hey, uh, where do you guys want this?
476
Yeah, seriously, because this is really heavy.
477
I mean, not for me because I'm only pretending to hold it, but for these guys.
478
Just one last time, um, the marriage thing.
479
There's no wiggle room, none at all.
480
No, but you don't want to get married either, right?
481
Right.
482
Except that I do want to get married.
483
Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck, huh?
484
You want to get married?
485
Someday. And hernia.
486
I haven't exactly had a normal life, and I never really felt like I was missing out on anything, but it just feels like now it's my turn to have some of the regular stuff.
487
If you want to get married, why didn't you say something before?
488
Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it, and I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
489
Yeah, well, I want to live with you, too.
490
I mean, let's do that.
491
But I don't think I can.
492
It was okay to move in when I didn't know what was going to happen, but I can't move in knowing nothing is ever going to happen.
493
Can you at least try living together?
494
I mean, you might change your mind about marriage.
495
Are you gonna change yours?
496
No. Me neither.
497
Um, I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
498
But I don't want this to end.
499
No, I don't want it to end either.
500
I can't believe this is gonna end.
501
I guess I'll have my stuff picked up.
502
Yeah, okay.
503
Okay, so, uh...
504
Goodbye.
505
Take it easy, Mikey.
506
Goodbye, Mike.
507
See you there.
508
Look at you, all sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel.
509
With them chubby little hands wrapped around you.
510
It's okay, Emma, you stay asleep.
511
Step away from the crib!
512
I'm a lemon!
513
It's okay, it's okay, Rach, it's me!
514
Put down the scrunchie!
515
What are you doing?
516
Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came in to make sure she could reach Huggsy.
517
Oh, thanks.
518
All right, well, now that I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
519
Okay, there you go, sweetie.
520
This isn't over.
521
Hi, Chandler Bing.
522
I have a reservation.
523
Welcome to the Chestnut Inn, Mr. Bing.
524
So where are you joining us from?
525
New York.
526
The Big Apple.
527
I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up.
528
We had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
529
I ate all my gifts for everybody.
530
I'm sorry, Mr. Bing.
531
There's no record of your reservation in the computer.
532
Well, that's impossible.
533
Can you check again, please?
534
Check again, please.
535
I'm sorry, it's not here.
536
Not there.
537
Let me get this straight.
538
I called yesterday to try to cancel my reservation.
539
Was told it's not refundable.
540
Then we drove six hours all the way up here, and now you're telling me that we don't have a reservation?
541
I don't know what to say.
542
She doesn't know what to say.
543
Just give us the cheapest room you have.
544
Well, unfortunately, the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite.
545
The rate is $600.
546
That's insane.
547
Dude, it's totally insane.
548
Dude, let's drive home.
549
We'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back, And if they're closed, then maybe we'll tap a tree and make some Marcel.
550
Does that room have a closet I can lock him in?
551
We'll take it.
552
Great.
553
Look, they are totally ripping us off.
554
Dude, don't worry about it.
555
I know how we can make your money back.
556
This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities.
557
We just load up on those, like those apples.
558
Instead of taking one, um, I pick six.
559
Great.
560
At $100 an apple, we're there.
561
Come on, you get the idea.
562
You know, we'll make our money back in no time.
563
Dude, you're shaking.
564
I think it's the sugar.
565
Could you hold the apple?
566
Hi, this is Ross Geller in suite 206.
567
I seem to have forgotten a couple of things.
568
Could you have some complimentary toiletries sent up to my room?
569
Thank you.
570
Okay, a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, mouthwash, deodorant, dental floss, band -aids, shaving cream, aftershave.
571
And I feel like I'm forgetting something.
572
Is there anything else you have that I haven't asked for already?
573
Yeah, go ahead.
574
Set up some tampons.
575
What'd you get?
576
USA Today.
577
Nice.
578
Put away the others.
579
And I also got two more apples.
580
We're four short of a bushel.
581
God, I feel so alive.
582
I love being in the country.
583
Also, got these great salt and pepper shakers from the restaurant.
584
Oh, that's not cool.
585
Dude, none of this is cool.
586
Look, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you.
587
For example, a hairdryer, no, no, no. But shampoos and conditioners, oh, yes, yes, yes.
588
Now, the salt shaker is off limits, but the salt...
589
I wish I'd thought this through.
590
I think I get what you mean, though.
591
Like, the lamp is, uh, is the hotels, but the bulbs...
592
Oh, you already got that?
593
Not my first time in a hotel, my friend.
594
Okay, uh, how about this?
595
No, no, no, you can't take the remote control.
596
Yes, but the batteries...
597
Thank you, thank you very much.
598
Ooh, let's celebrate with some maple candy.
599
No!
600
At least tell me where you hid it.
601
Use your copy of the bill.
602
We hope you enjoyed your stay.
603
Oh, we did.
604
And you still have all your lamps.
605
Well, I didn't factor in the room tax.
606
Oh, dude, don't worry about it.
607
I found an unattended maid's car.
608
We're way ahead of the game.
609
Oh, my God.
610
What?
611
There's something new in the bowl.
612
Look, we have enough.
613
Just walk away.
614
No, but I want the pine cones.
615
There's a forest right outside.
616
It's not the same.
617
Okay, go quick.
618
Oh, go!
619
Thank you for a delightful stay.
620
My maple candy!
621
I have a weird feeling about this place.
622
How do I know they're not going to secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet?
623
Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible.
624
Nobody's going to want to watch that.
625
Mr. Bing, here you are.
626
You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
627
Deposit my specimen? and, you know, I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk.
628
Thanks.
629
Got it.
630
All right, honey, my tests are down the hall.
631
You sure you're gonna be okay?
632
Yeah, I guess.
633
I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares.
634
No one here even knows you.
635
Oh.
636
My.
637
God!
638
Oh, come on!
639
Ah!
640
How great is this?
641
Eh, we're probably fertile.
642
Let's go home.
643
Why are you here?
644
Well, Sid and I are trying again, and we had trouble last time, because apparently we just got...
645
No, no, no. I mean, why?
646
Why is she here?
647
Oh, someone's a little cranky today, because they have to do it in a cup.
648
Huh?
649
Oh, they gave you the kitty size.
650
What?
651
Ah!
652
Ah!
653
What?
654
This was fun, but I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to.
655
I'd love to stay, but I've, uh...
656
Got a hot date.
657
Please go.
658
Just let me know if you need a hand.
659
I just realized I don't care if he is the most perfect guy in the world.
660
He's not you.
661
Yeah, he's better.
662
No, he's not.
663
And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by him or anyone else.
664
Really?
665
Are you sure?
666
Yeah, I'm sure.
667
Oh, thank God, because I don't want to do this either.
668
You know, I was just doing it because I thought that was what you wanted to do.
669
You know, I'm the husband.
670
I'm supposed to bring the sperm. That is so sweet. And I love you.
671
Mm -hmm.
672
So, you know, this leaves us with...
673
Adoption.
674
How do you feel about that?
675
I think I feel okay about it.
676
Actually, I...
677
I think I feel really good about it.
678
Me too.
679
I want to find a baby that needs a home, and I want to raise it with you.
680
And I want to mess it up in our own specific way. So this is it?
681
We're.. we're really gonna adopt?
682
Yeah.
683
Oh, my God, we're gonna be parents!
684
We are gonna be great parents.
685
And it could be soon.
686
I mean, think about it.
687
Right now, somewhere out there, our baby could be being conceived.
688
Wait.
689
If we're lucky, and we're really, really, really quiet, we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking.
690
Oh, hey.
691
Thank God you guys are here.
692
Hey, what's going on?
693
Everything is upside down here.
694
It rains all day long, nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.
695
All right, I don't want to alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.
696
Okay, when I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, okay?
697
That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.
698
Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in.
699
Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a king -size bed?
700
Oh, David, get one for us, too.
701
Oh, and see if they have a heart -shaped one.
702
And with mirrors on the ceiling.
703
And make sure our room isn't next to theirs.
704
I'll play you.
705
Okay.
706
Mike, you don't know what you're doing.
707
She gets crazy.
708
This scar is from Pictionary.
709
I think I'll be all right.
710
You want to volley a bit for serve?
711
Sure, if you're going to.
712
Oh!
713
Oh, by the way, um, I'm awesome.
714
Oh, dear God, there's two of them.
715
You ready to play?
716
Hell yeah.
717
Did you know this about him?
718
No idea.
719
I thought he was soft like you.
720
You want to make it more interesting?
721
How much were you thinking?
722
Ten bucks a game.
723
Make it 50.
724
I'll make it 100.
725
1 ,000?
726
Okay!
727
Hey!
728
Let's see who goes first.
729
You got a quarter?
730
No. Either you girls got a quarter?
731
Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him.
732
Monica, you call it.
733
Heads.
734
No tails.
735
Heads.
736
Tails.
737
Oh, what are the chances?
738
Ha!
739
My point.
740
Oh, no, I don't think so.
741
No, according to standard table tennis rules, if at any time a player uses his non -racquet -bearing hand to touch the playing surface, he or she forfeits the point.
742
Oh!
743
I'm sorry.
744
I think...
745
I think that may have missed the table. Do you?
746
Uh, yeah. Do you?
747
Uh, yeah. Do you?
748
Uh, yeah.
749
You really find this attractive on him?
750
Oh, yeah.
751
Are you telling me you're not even a little turned on by Monica right now?
752
I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
753
All right, come on, Mike.
754
You can beat her.
755
Knock that dog off her head.
756
Oh, damn it.
757
I sleep with him.
758
Game point.
759
Don't get too cocky.
760
Remember, I won the last one.
761
Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
762
You know, you should really look in the mirror before you call yourself that.
763
No, no, no!
764
And that's how it's done.
765
Okie dokie.
766
You've each won a game, and I've lost what's felt like a year of my life.
767
So everybody goes home and winner.
768
Best out of three?
769
That's what I'm thinking.
770
Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil?
771
Serve them all, chump.
772
You love them, chump.
773
Okay, better comebacks, Mike.
774
Better comebacks.
775
I can't just walk away.
776
I've put in four hours.
777
But look, you knew this about me when you married me.
778
You agreed to take me in sickness and in health.
779
Well, this is my sickness.
780
What about the obsessive cleaning?
781
That's just good sense.
782
Ow!
783
You okay?
784
No, no, no, honey, I'm okay.
785
Shake it off.
786
Oh, God, no shaking, no shaking, no shaking.
787
Oh, oh.
788
Oh, my God.
789
I can't play.
790
So you forfeit?
791
Mike wins?
792
I can't believe it.
793
I lost.
794
No, you didn't.
795
What?
796
Because I'm gonna play for you.
797
You can't do that.
798
Ah, it's okay.
799
I don't care which of them I beat.
800
Okay, we're taking that pedal home, mister.
801
Honey, you don't have to do this.
802
Yes, I do.
803
Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you, then it's important to me.
804
Because I love you. But you suck.
805
You're welcome, sweetheart.
806
All right, Mike, let's get this over with.
807
Sudden death.
808
Whoever wins this point wins.
809
Okay?
810
Oh my God, you're good.
811
It's like watching porn.
812
And that's how it's done.
813
Oh my God, oh my God, that was so amazing.
814
When did you, hold on, I almost forgot.
815
Loser.
816
When did you stop sucking?
817
I never sucked.
818
I just didn't want you to know how good I was.
819
Why?
820
I don't know.
821
Well, this is so great.
822
Now we can enter into doubles tournaments.
823
That's why.

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