Shadowing Practice: the loneliness nobody talks about (and what it's actually telling you) - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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I got this comment on these sentences made me stop and really think.
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I got this comment on these sentences made me stop and really think.
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You mentioned if you have one person to talk to that's a success.
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I have no one.
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In late 20s now, never been in a relationship,
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never had anyone love me.
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After work, I have no one to talk to deeply or at all.
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Friends I meet here and there, but they feel temporary.
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How am I ever meant to find anyone?
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I just stopped because I felt like I knew that feeling,
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maybe in a different way.
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It's not exactly sadness, it's just that empty kind of loneliness.
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I really think that we've all experienced this at some point, haven't we?
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Sitting in a quiet room,
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scrolling through your phone, not to connect but just to feel the silence.
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Feeling like you are on the outside of life, looking in.
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It's not a sharp pain, it's something that lingers.
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It's very quiet and low and subtle.
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Maybe that's why, even though I wanted to reply to the comment right away,
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it took me some time yeah my answer came late i'm sorry
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so this is the answer for
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that person who wrote the comment on for anyone who's ever felt
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that way i want to talk about how this state of having no one isn't the end
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but actually a meaningful maybe even necessary beginning hey welcome back to this episode of this season Let me be honest first.
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Feeling like you have no one is a deeply painful experience,
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especially in a world that everyone's constantly showing their relationships,
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friendships, and their perfect moments.
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Being alone can feel less like a choice and more like a failure.
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We are social beings by nature,
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and when that doesn't happen,
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we often fall into a trap.
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We start to believe that the solution to loneliness is simply meeting just anyone.
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And we look for someone to fill the emptiness.
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And then we start lowering our standards.
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We accept relationships that don't fully fulfill us.
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And we stay in rusted relationships that drain our energy.
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Simply because we don't want to be alone,
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we are scared of having nothing.
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but it's actually better to have nothing than a wrong thing or the wrong person in your life.
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Okay, I saw this phrase sandcastle life.
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A life built without deeply knowing who you are is a sandcastle.
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This sandcastle, it might look fine for a while and feel stable but eventually the wave of reality,
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a breakup, betrayal or unexpected moment of loneliness comes in and and washes everything away,
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leaves nothing but wet sand and you know, yeah, I'm alone again.
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Now we're constantly rebuilding, patching things up and fearing the next wave,
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like starting over again and again without even knowing what I really want
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and this is exactly where the most important thing begins.
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Because I think this emptiness isn't just I have no one simply but also the space that was created for you.
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So we have to like separate these two words that we often use like they're the same.
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Loneliness and solitude.
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Loneliness is something that happens without your choice.
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It's wanting connection but not having it.
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It's a lack.
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It's passive.
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But solitude on the other hand is a choice.
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It's intentional being with yourself.
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It's active.
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Choosing solitude doesn't mean that you're avoiding people.
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It means that you are turning toward yourself.
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The moment you stop seeing this time as something that you have to survive from,
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you have to run away from, you are not abandoned.
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You've been given the entire space for you.
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And now instead of building sand castles,
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this is your time to build whatever you want.
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And when you're sitting in the space,
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you have to ask the most uncomfortable question.
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Who am I when nobody is watching?
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When you don't have to perform for anyone,
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when you don't have to meet anyone's expectations, who are you?
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What do you like?
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What do you value?
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You can finally start having a real conversation with yourself.
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And actually, you know what?
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This is something that I've been thinking of and this is something that I've thought about when I just saw the comment.
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Someone might already love you,
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just you couldn't see it.
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Maybe that level of love or connection just isn't enough for you and that's okay.
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That's also one of the questions that you need to ask yourself.
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What is enough for you?
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First, you let go of what doesn't make you happy.
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Those rusted relationships, the ones that feel like obligations,
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the ones that drain you,
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you are not pushing people away.
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You're making space for the right ones to come in in the future.
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And then you start discovering your invisible value.
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We've been taught to measure ourselves by external things like jobs,
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titles, followers, relationship status, how we look.
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But this time you begin to see something you have in you that that doesn't shake and that doesn't go away.
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Yeah, yeah, take out a notebook and write down everything
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that you think that makes you valuable that has nothing to do with outside validation.
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Are you a good listener?
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Are you strong?
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Do you have your own unique sense of humor?
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That's your invisible value.
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You are not a half waiting for someone to complete you you are already a whole person.
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And when you do that,
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you're gonna know yourself, you're gonna understand yourself way better.
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And when someone you love enters your life in the future,
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you'll be able to introduce yourself more clearly.
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And if they are meant to stay in your life,
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they will not let you go.
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And finally, you become a person you actually want to be.
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You build a life that you love
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on your own for yourself and really honestly that's more attractive knowing
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that you are not looking for someone to complete you
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but someone who can add to your light
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so the best preparation for a good relationship is actually focusing on yourself right now yeah
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that means that you have to be a good person too
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so it means you need to look at yourself more seriously
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and as objectively as possible whether you are enough to be someone that others genuinely want to be around too.
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So the answer to how do I find someone is this.
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I hope that you become a version of yourself who is ready for connection.
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And when you're ready, you will see that the people who come into your life are not that to save you,
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but to enjoy your life with you.
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And even if a relationship doesn't work out,
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you still have a life you can return to your own self
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which is already okay
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that feeling of i have no one is actually a very important signal it's not prove
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that you're unlovable or something it's more an invitation to return to yourself
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so you will not be alone forever because you have yourself
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but the goal isn't to find just anyone that's not the goal it's to find right people This isn't easy
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but it's worth it.
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So I want to ask you,
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what was your experience with being alone?
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Yeah, share that in the comments.
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Like you can see that I always try to like get back to you
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because I always say I capture all the good questions and comments.
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Yes, thank you for the comments you guys.
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That really helps.
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And even this comment today really made me think.
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So I can see a lot of you guys genuinely leave the comment with like care.
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And I want to, I really want to give that back to you.
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I will try my best.
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So, anywho.
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So see you next time and thank you so much.
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Bye bye.
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I sometimes randomly want to do my nails on.
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I wanted to have like a dark red color
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but I don't have that color But I have black
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and I have red And I came up with this idea
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that I can mix these two One drop of black into the red color
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So I started making this specific color that I wanted on this plastic bag I'm not an expert,
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I'm just doing it for fun But I hate it But the problem is Moon moon well,
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I saddled up my shoes Headed out at dawn Yeah,
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I saddled up my shoes Headed out at dawn Ain't no place gonna hold me
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When the road keeps rolling on Left my baby crying Said you can't live that way Left my baby crying,
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says she can't live that way Told her love ain't chained down,
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it just comes and drifts away
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I saw the sun in the distance,
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looked like a burning coin.
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I saw the sun in the distance,
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looked like a burning coin.
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Lord, I don't need no preacher,
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just that dust throw the joint.
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Context & Background
This video delves into the often unspoken experience of loneliness, a state many people encounter but rarely discuss. The speaker reflects on a comment from an individual feeling isolated and longing for deeper connections. By sharing personal insights, the speaker highlights that feeling alone can be both painful and transformative. The dialogue emphasizes that loneliness might signal a need for introspection and self-discovery rather than merely a lack of social interaction. In a world where relationships are frequently showcased, understanding one's solitude can lead to meaningful growth.
Top 5 Phrases for Daily Communication
- "I feel like I'm on the outside of life, looking in." - This phrase encapsulates the feeling of isolation and could be useful when discussing emotions.
- "It's not just sadness, but an empty kind of loneliness." - Use this to express a deeper understanding of loneliness that goes beyond mere sadness.
- "Maybe it’s better to have nothing than to settle." - This statement can encourage discussions about the importance of self-worth and avoiding unhealthy relationships.
- "Loneliness and solitude are not the same." - A great conversation starter to differentiate between chosen solitude and unwanted loneliness.
- "This emptiness creates space for you." - A positive way to frame solitude as an opportunity for self-discovery.
Step-by-step Shadowing Guide
To effectively improve English pronunciation through the shadowing technique while engaging with this video, follow these steps:
- Listen Actively: Play the video without subtitles. Focus on the tone, rhythm, and emotional undertones of the speaker. Take notes on phrases that resonate with you.
- Repeat and Imitate: Use the shadowspeak method. Pause after each sentence and try to mimic the speaker’s pronunciation, intonation, and pace. This helps in internalizing the rhythm of natural speech.
- Record Yourself: After shadowing, record your voice. Pay attention to areas where your pronunciation differs from the original speaker. This self-assessment will provide insights into your English speaking skills.
- Practice with Emotion: Attempt to express the feelings conveyed in the phrases. Understanding the emotional context will not only make your pronunciation sound more natural but also help in retaining the phrases.
- Engage and Reflect: After practicing the phrases, write a short paragraph reflecting on what you learned about loneliness and solitude. This exercise will improve your writing skills and reinforce your learning.
By applying the shadowing technique to content that resonates on a personal level, you can effectively learn English with YouTube and enhance your language proficiency while connecting deeper with your emotions.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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