Shadowing Practice: The Ones That Make You Cringe: Part 4 | Friends - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
Thank you so much for seeing us.
2
Phoebe has told us such great things about you guys.
3
Oh, please, we're happy to help.
4
We went through the same thing when we were adopting.
5
So, a lot of malfunctioning wee -wees and hoo -hoos in this room, huh?
6
I mean, you have a lovely home.
7
Well, we appreciate anything you can tell us.
8
Well, actually, I think this might help.
9
It's pretty much all the information you need.
10
Oh, my God.
11
Everything is broken down into categories and then cross -referenced and then color -coded to correspond with the forms in the back.
12
Thank you.
13
I think I just had a tiny orgasm.
14
I know the process is frustrating, but it's so worth it.
15
Adopting Owen was the best thing that ever happened to us.
16
That's great.
17
Can I see the book?
18
You want me to wash my hands first, don't you?
19
It's just so pretty and white.
20
Bathroom is down the hall to your left.
21
I would have told him to do it, too.
22
Can I adopt you?
23
Hey, you must be Owen.
24
Yeah.
25
I'm Chandler.
26
Hey, I was in the Scouts, too.
27
You were?
28
Yeah.
29
In fact, my father was a den mother.
30
Huh?
31
Huh?
32
You know how to use a compass?
33
I have a badge in it.
34
You do?
35
That's fantastic.
36
You want to see it?
37
I'd love to, but I got to get back to talking to your parents.
38
They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
39
What?
40
What?
41
I'm adopted?
42
I got nothing.
43
What are you doing, Colleen?
44
They're in the kitchen getting something to eat.
45
Can you believe how nice they are?
46
We have to leave.
47
Why?
48
What did you do in the bathroom?
49
I didn't get to the bathroom.
50
I bumped into Owen on the way, and he didn't know he was adopted.
51
And there's a slight chance I may have told him.
52
Oh, my God, where's my purse?
53
No, you know what?
54
I can replace everything in there.
55
Get that binder and let's go!
56
Some little snacks for everybody.
57
Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms.
58
Those are for Owen.
59
I'll go get him in a second.
60
Uh, by the way, you should know, we haven't told him he's adopted yet.
61
Well, kids are so intuitive.
62
Don't you think on some level he already knows?
63
I'm adopted?
64
See?
65
Intuitive.
66
What?
67
Where did you hear that?
68
He told me.
69
And he paid me $50 not to tell.
70
Which, technically, now you should give back.
71
You told him he's adopted?
72
I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something, or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door.
73
Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks
74
Santa is real.
75
He isn't?
76
We have to get out of here, baby.
77
We just want to give you a heads up.
78
Bill and Colleen hate us.
79
Owen didn't know he was adopted, and Monica told him.
80
Still, he had to find out sometime.
81
Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
82
I'm gonna go tell
83
Emma she was an accident.
84
Thank you.
85
I'll see you later, babe.
86
Uh, public display of affection coming up.
87
You can invert your eyes.
88
See ya.
89
See you later.
90
Fun Bobby is so great.
91
Oh, isn't he?
92
Oh, you know what?
93
I really think this time it may work with him.
94
I mean, he just makes me feel so good, and I've been feeling so lousy in the last couple of months.
95
No job, no boyfriend.
96
Well, at least my cup is half full.
97
Half full of love.
98
And for our two -week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend.
99
Cabin of love.
100
We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys.
101
Really, I only had two glasses.
102
I just had a glass.
103
Two.
104
I had one glass.
105
I had about a mug full in this lovely I got boned at the Museum of Natural History mug.
106
Okay, so that's...
107
That's what, two bottles, and yet somehow we went through five?
108
Mmm.
109
Oh.
110
Thanks.
111
Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
112
Um, I don't know.
113
Why don't you taste it?
114
Mm.
115
No. Oh, well, too late.
116
Sorry, I already had some.
117
What do you say we make these, uh, coffees Irish?
118
Um, cake!
119
Yeah, but we're gonna.. we're gonna get some cake.
120
You know, it seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff Irish lately.
121
Well, it would make them
122
Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
123
Bobby.
124
Yeah, okay.
125
Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know, but I'm kind of worried about you.
126
Okay, look, this isn't the first time somebody said something to me about this, but I don't know, I always made excuses about it,
127
like I'm just a social drinker, or, hey, come on, it's Flag Day.
128
So what are you saying now?
129
I guess I'm saying I'll try and quit.
130
I kind of like that you worry about me. So, what's going on?
131
I am going to try and quit drinking.
132
Oh, why?
133
You want to hear something funny?
134
Oh, God, yes.
135
There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the village. That is funny.
136
I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walking around the neighborhood,
137
but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the village.
138
Uh, say, honey, don't you have to be at your interview now?
139
Oh, yeah.
140
See you, guys.
141
Bye.
142
Ridiculously dull, Bobby.
143
Oh, my God.
144
It's not that bad.
145
Not that bad?
146
Did you not hear the Hammer story?
147
Okay, okay.
148
Don't get all squinky.
149
Maybe it was just the kind of story where you had to be there.
150
But I'm gonna be there for the rest of my life.
151
I mean, I can't break up with him.
152
I'm the one who made him quit drinking.
153
He's dull because of me.
154
All right, don't say that.
155
He's probably always been dull.
156
You just, you know, set it free.
157
Hi, I'll be ready in just a second.
158
Could I talk to you a minute?
159
Sure.
160
This is really hard for me to say.
161
Oh, God, you fell off the wagon.
162
Oh, no, no. It's about you.
163
What about me?
164
I think you may have a drinking problem.
165
What, these?
166
These...
167
No, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.
168
Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, okay?
169
Oh, shoot.
170
Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
171
Okay.
172
All right, take care.
173
Okay, you too.
174
Bye.
175
What happened?
176
Well, we...
177
We kind of broke up.
178
Aww.
179
Um, you should...
180
You should think of, um, my work as wordless sound poems.
181
That's what I'm going...
182
Oh, my God, play.
183
I'm thinking.
184
Boy, that was, uh, terrific.
185
Really.
186
Bitchin'.
187
Wow.
188
It was so wow.
189
Really?
190
I mean, really?
191
Yeah.
192
I mean, you should play in public.
193
Oh, thanks, you guys.
194
That's...
195
Oh, I want to play you another piece.
196
Oh!
197
I left.. my helicopter sounds on another disc.
198
I'll be right back, okay?
199
Electrifying.
200
Infinite time.
201
You know, there's a Starbucks about three blocks down.
202
He's so inspired.
203
Look at him.
204
Look at him go.
205
Hey, aren't you up next?
206
Oh, no. I'm not playing tonight.
207
Why not?
208
I can't follow Ross.
209
Can't even have it be like those poor bicycle -riding chimps who had to follow the Beatles. Who?
210
Oh, my God.
211
He's lost it.
212
He's totally lost it.
213
What?
214
Petey, this is music that cannot get any worse.
215
There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
216
Thank you.
217
Thanks.
218
Yeah, I lost it.
219
You know what?
220
I'm not going to play anymore. Would you...
221
Can you finish my set?
222
After that?
223
Yeah.
224
No, I mean, if I can help.
225
Yeah, like I could lose it.
226
what i played bad on purpose guys
227
okay so you were trying to play bad this whole time no just that last song
228
okay here we go oh god ross okay
229
if you care about me at all
230
you'll get the pie out of the man's hood get the what's a pie in the hood pie in the hood go
231
What are you doing?
232
I'm sorry.
233
My pie was.. was in your hood.
234
Now I just have to get the coffee out of that guy's pants and I'll be back in the hospital by 7.
235
Hello.
236
Hello.
237
I love my new job!
238
Honey, you're screaming.
239
You bet your ass I am.
240
I just had the best first day ever.
241
The kitchen, twice as big as Alessandro's.
242
Oh, that's great.
243
Yeah, and clean, not just health department clean, Monica clean.
244
Awesome.
245
Oh, and the people are so nice.
246
There's this one guy, Jeffrey, he's the maitre d'.
247
Chandler, you will love him.
248
He is without a doubt the funniest guy I have ever met.
249
Hey, did you tell
250
Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you ever met?
251
Yeah, so?
252
Wow.
253
Really, do you not know Chandler?
254
Is that why he's acting so weird?
255
He's jealous?
256
Oh, my God, that is crazy.
257
It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey. So what?
258
Being funny is Chandler's thing.
259
You know, like, Ross's thing is...
260
Science?
261
Academia?
262
Being a good father?
263
No. I can't believe he's that upset about this.
264
Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay?
265
Because he's feeling...
266
Hey.
267
Hey, hey.
268
What are you guys talking about?
269
Uh, Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
270
You got a man who's a nanny?
271
You got a manny?
272
You know, I don't mind a male nanny, but I do draw the line at male wet nurse.
273
Oh!
274
Oh, you're on a roll, mister!
275
If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza.
276
Okay, okay, stop it.
277
Stop it.
278
What is so funny about that?
279
I don't know.
280
It's...
281
Well, just the way you say it.
282
I mean, you're funny.
283
You got that funny thing.
284
You're a funny guy.
285
Did you tell her what we talked about?
286
Yeah.
287
So those were pity laughs?
288
Pity laughs?
289
Honey, listen.
290
You have nothing to worry about.
291
Oh, yeah?
292
Is he funnier than me?
293
Well, you're different funny.
294
I mean, you're more sarcastic, and, and, well, he does bits and impressions and limericks.
295
I -I do limericks.
296
Uh, there once was a man named Chandler whose wife made him die inside.
297
Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
298
Come on, you know that joke you told me last week?
299
The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye? that slayed me.
300
Hey, I made up that joke and told it to you.
301
Not knowing when to shut up.
302
Yep, that's my thing.
303
Yep.
304
Well, I'm off to Tulsa, so if your maitre d' friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes, tell him to email me at www .hahanotsomuch .com.
305
Honey, you can relax.
306
Last night at work, Jeffrey told this really sexist joke.
307
After that, not so funny anymore.
308
Really?
309
See, that's the thing.
310
You gotta keep it smart, people.
311
Okay.
312
What's that plight?
313
You know I love you.
314
I love you, too.
315
And I like you as friends.
316
All right.
317
See you later.
318
See ya.
319
Did the guy really make that joke?
320
Nah, he still kills me.
321
Last night, he had me laughing so hard, I swear, a little pee came out.
322
It'll be fun.
323
What was that?
324
Hi.
325
Um, I just thought that it would be fun
326
if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
327
Yeah, all right.
328
That sounds all right.
329
Oh, good.
330
Okay.
331
Oh, no. I have to go because I'm late for my, um, green eggs and ham discussion group.
332
Um, tonight, it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun.
333
Bye.
334
That was so lame.
335
I know.
336
Yeah.
337
Okay, talk to him.
338
So, you, uh, you think that speed racer guy gets a lot of tickets, or...?
339
That's good.
340
That's good.
341
So who broke up with who?
342
What are you kidding?
343
I broke up with her.
344
She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
345
That's good, man.
346
When everybody knows that the capital of Cambodia is...
347
Well, it's not Sean Pan.
348
Not Sean Pan.
349
All right, I got a funny one, all right?
350
My last girlfriend, Tilly, okay, we're eating breakfast, right?
351
And I made all these pancakes.
352
There was like 50 pancakes, right?
353
And all of a sudden, she turns to me, all right?
354
And she says, Eddie, I say, yeah.
355
She says, Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.
356
And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, you know?
357
How was your week?
358
Oh, it was good.
359
Actually, the baby started kicking.
360
How exciting.
361
Yeah, I know.
362
Oh, it was amazing.
363
The only sad thing is I wasn't around when it happened for the first time.
364
Oh, no. Yeah, I know.
365
And I was missing out on all this other stuff, too.
366
So Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
367
Yeah, right.
368
What?
369
Joey cracks me up.
370
It's like, yeah, why don't you have your ex -wife move in with you?
371
That wouldn't be awkward at all.
372
Hmm.
373
Hmm.
374
Hey, could you imagine?
375
I go away for a few days, I come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant.
376
So what'd you tell him?
377
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
378
Well, what are you...
379
Hi!
380
Hi.
381
Well, what are you doing here?
382
I'm supposed to pick you up.
383
Change of plans.
384
I made you a special Valentine's dinner.
385
Surprise!
386
Hi!
387
Oh, hey, Mona.
388
Hi.
389
Hi, Rachel.
390
What's she doing here?
391
I have no idea.
392
I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me.
393
Seriously, what is she doing?
394
You know, lately she just likes hanging out here.
395
Why?
396
I think she's lonely.
397
Okay, but it's Valentine's Day.
398
Can't we just ask her to go?
399
Well, no, no, she's way too emotional.
400
And by emotional, I mean...
401
I'm not here.
402
That's just my Chinese food.
403
Oh, my God.
404
She has food delivered here?
405
Mm -hmm.
406
Yes, she's emotional, but.. but ballsy.
407
You know what I'm gonna do?
408
I'm gonna get in my sweats and eat this in bed.
409
And you thought she was gonna be in our way.
410
So, okay, why don't you open the champagne, and I will be right back.
411
I've got a surprise for you.
412
You got another ex -wife back there?
413
Oh, thank you.
414
It's like the tenth time I've peed since I've been here.
415
It's also like the tenth time you've told us.
416
Yeah, oh, I'm sorry.
417
It must be really hard to hear.
418
I'll tell you, it's a lot easier having three babies playing
419
Bring It Into Noise, Bring It Into Funk on your bladder.
420
So sick of being pregnant.
421
The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which, of course, is decaf, because, oh, I'm pregnant.
422
Phoebs, you want a cookie?
423
Thank you so much.
424
So, uh, Phoebs, honey, how are those mood swings coming?
425
I haven't really had any yet.
426
God, we are throwing the most depressing baby shower ever.
427
Wait a minute.
428
Unless we give her all gifts that she can use after she's done being pregnant.
429
Like, um, like regular coffee.
430
Tequila.
431
Oh, and somebody can get her those leather pants that she's always wanted.
432
Oh, she's gonna love that.
433
What the hell is this?
434
What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me something
435
I can't even use for another two months?
436
This sucks!
437
Oh!
438
All right, what's my next present?
439
Hi, I'm happy today.
440
Hi, guys.
441
Hi, Phoebe.
442
Hi, Phoebe.
443
I wanted to apologize if I, you know, seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower.
444
You know, it's just hormones, you know?
445
I know, a week.
446
Hormones.
447
Yeah.
448
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.
449
It was just, it was so sweet.
450
Oh, okay. So sweet.
451
Yeah.
452
Wow, you seem to be doing so much better.
453
That's great.
454
How are things going?
455
Good.
456
You know, no, but okay, it feels like everything's been about me lately.
457
So what's happening with you?
458
Oh, well, actually, we were just talking about me not going to Ross's wedding.
459
Oh.
460
It just might be too hard, given the history and all that.
461
Wow, this reminds me of the time when I was living on the street,
462
and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
463
How is this like that?
464
Well, let's see.
465
It's not really like that because, you see, that was an actual problem and yours is just like, you know, a bunch of,
466
you know, high school crap that nobody really gives you.
467
Well, I'm sorry.
468
I guess I just thought that, you know.
469
All right, here come the waterworks.
470
The agent has just gotten me a job in the new
471
Al Pacino movie!
472
What?
473
Look!
474
Can you believe it?
475
Kick it!
476
What's the part?
477
Can you believe this?
478
Al Pacino!
479
This guy's the reason I became an actor!
480
I'm out of order?
481
Pah, you're out of order!
482
This whole courtroom's out of order!
483
Seriously, what's the part?
484
Just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in!
485
Come on, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
486
Uh, let me just put it down.
487
You're, you're, nah, nah, nah, what?
488
I'm his butt double, okay?
489
I play Al Pacino's butt.
490
All right?
491
He goes into the shower, and then I'm his butt.
492
Oh, my God.
493
Come on, you guys this is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big.
494
No, no, it's terrific.
495
It's, it's, you know, you deserve this.
496
After all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into the show.
497
Uh, listen, I just want to thank you for this great opportunity.
498
Lose the robe. With me?
499
That would work.
500
Right.
501
Okay, losing the robe.
502
Okay, and the robe is lost.
503
Okay, everybody, I would like to get this in one take, please.
504
Let's roll it.
505
Water's working. And action. And cut.
506
Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
507
I'm -I'm chowering.
508
No, that was clenching.
509
Oh, well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know?
510
I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing.
511
I think his butt would be angry here.
512
I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch.
513
Once again, rolling, water working, and action. And cut.
514
What was that?
515
I was going for quiet desperation.
516
But, if you have to ask.
517
Hey.
518
Hey, star.
519
Hey, wait a minute.
520
Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new
521
Al Pacino movie?
522
Nope.
523
No?
524
What happened, big guy?
525
Big guy?
526
It felt like a big guy moment.
527
I got fired.
528
Oh.
529
Yeah, they said I acted too much with it.
530
I told everybody about this.
531
Now, everyone's gonna go to the theater expecting to see me.
532
Joey, you know what?
533
No one is gonna be able to tell.
534
My mom will.
535
Something so sweet and disturbing about that.
536
Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before,
537
so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you could tell him.
538
Go!
539
What?
540
Hey, wait a minute.
541
Baby, how do you even know who the father is?
542
I may play the fool at times, but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.
543
I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
544
Oh, God.
545
Oh, he's in there right now?
546
Uh -huh.
547
You can turn around, or you can go in there and rip the Band -Aid off.
548
What do you want to do?
549
Let's rip.
550
Really?
551
Are you sure?
552
Oh, Phoebe.
553
Okay, sorry, yeah.
554
Hey, Rach. So what's this about?
555
Rachel has something that she wants to tell you, and I believe that this is your red sweater?
556
No. This is my red sweater.
557
Oh, no. Could I get anyone a coffee? or poison?
558
No, just for me?
559
Okay.
560
What's going on, Rach?
561
Nothing.
562
Phoebe kind of made a mistake.
563
But, you know, you do wear that sweater a lot.
564
Are you involved in some kind of dare?
565
You know, I'm actually glad Phoebe called.
566
I know we broke up because you thought I wasn't mature enough, but I've really grown up, and I think we should get back together.
567
Oh, it's just not the right time.
568
It is the right time.
569
Okay.
570
I'm ready for more.
571
Tag.
572
Come on, Rach.
573
Let's give it another try.
574
I'm having a baby.
575
Oh.
576
You can go.
577
Thank you.
578
What is wrong now?
579
This isn't what I ordered?
580
Man, can't anything go right in my life?
581
First my marriage falls apart, and then I...
582
I know, I know.
583
And then you lose your apartment, and then you lose your job, and then your ex -wife gets married so fast, and now the coffee, ah!
584
Boss, we need to talk.
585
Okay.
586
Sometimes I feel like...
587
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to talk.
588
I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
589
What?
590
You're a very sweet person, Ross.
591
Um...
592
Unfortunately, I just don't think I can take another second of you whining!
593
Let me make sure I'm hearing this right.
594
You're ending this with me because I'm too whiny?
595
So you're saying I've become so whiny that I annoy you, Janice.
596
Well, yeah!
597
Oh.
598
My.
599
God.
600
Are you gonna be okay?
601
I am now.
602
Oh, my God.
603
That's my boss.
604
You have to seat us somewhere else.
605
I'm sorry.
606
That's always Mr. Campbell's table.
607
But my boss cannot see me.
608
I'm interviewing for another job.
609
Rachel?
610
Hi, I'm on a date.
611
That's great.
612
Yeah, it is.
613
Yeah, you know, it's tough.
614
Single mom career.
615
You got to get out there.
616
Well, you've got a good energy.
617
Rachel?
618
Yes, hi.
619
James Campbell.
620
Hi.
621
Excuse us.
622
Please.
623
Okay.
624
Oh, yeah.
625
He's cute.
626
So, your resume is quite impressive.
627
My resume?
628
I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resume.
629
Dating profile?
630
I'm talking about the work resume.
631
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
632
Whatever happened to just singing for no reason?
633
Maybe people found it weird.
634
So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
635
What?
636
I don't.
637
You don't?
638
No, I love it there.
639
Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
640
What?
641
That's Hugo Boss.
642
Um, Chandler, Ross, this is Robert.
643
Oh, hey.
644
Hey.
645
Hi.
646
You have lipstick right here.
647
Oh.
648
That's okay, it's mine.
649
We just kissed.
650
So isn't it a bit cold out for shorts?
651
Well, I'm from California.
652
Right, right.
653
Sometimes you guys just burst into flame.
654
I'm up.
655
I'm up.
656
I ain't gotten up now.
657
Anybody want anything?
658
I'll have coffee.
659
Yeah, me too.
660
Yeah, make that three.
661
Okay.
662
Ross, why don't you come with me?
663
Okay.
664
What is the matter with you?
665
What's going on?
666
Robert's coming out.
667
What do you mean?
668
What, is he gay?
669
He's coming out of his shorts What?
670
The man is showing brain Are you sure?
671
Hold on I'm sorry you guys
672
That was a coffee and a Coffee We could write it down for you
673
No, no that won't be won't be necessary.
674
Well?
675
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
676
What do we do?
677
What do we do?
678
I suppose we just try to not look directly at it.
679
Like an eclipse.
680
All right.
681
But I can't stay too long.
682
I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good.
683
I'm supposed to be playing and a 19 -year -old.
684
What?
685
So when you said get up early, did you mean 1986?
686
You guys don't think I look 19?
687
Oh, 19!
688
We thought you said 90.
689
Okay, everybody, let's go!
690
Let's go!
691
Okay!
692
Oh, my God!
693
sup sup dude take whatever you want just please don't hurt me so you play a little playstation huh
694
that's whack playstation is whack Sop with the Wack PlayStation Sop.
695
Huh?
696
Come on, am I 19 or what?
697
Yes.
698
On a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
699
Come on, man, really.
700
How old?
701
Young.
702
You're a man -child, okay?
703
Now go get changed, because everybody's ready, and please, oh please, keep my underwear.
704
Oh, thanks.
705
Okay.
706
Now, I can pass for 19, right?
707
Yes, you can pass for 19.
708
Really?
709
Yes.
710
Seriously.
711
Seriously?
712
Seriously, no. Okay?
713
You can play your own age, which is 31.
714
Oh!
715
I'm 30.
716
Joey, you are not.
717
You're 31.
718
Oh, crap.
719
Hey, what are you doing here?
720
Shouldn't you be at work?
721
Uh, they sent me home.
722
They said I can't work if I'm sick.
723
Oh, wow.
724
I'm so sorry you're sick.
725
I'm not sick.
726
I don't get sick.
727
Getting sick is for weak legs.
728
It's for pansies.
729
Honey, no one thinks that you're a pansy, but we do think that you need a tissue.
730
I have not been sick in over three years.
731
I'm gonna grab you some tissue.
732
I don't need a tissue.
733
I'm fine.
734
When you put a D at the end of fine, you're not fine.
735
I'm fine.
736
I'm fine.
737
You know, it's a really hard word to say.
738
So, what do you want to do?
739
Let's do something crazy.
740
I know.
741
Let's rest and drink lots of fluids.
742
Okay, I'll rest.
743
But, you know, if I'm going to bed, then you're coming with me.
744
See, that would be impossible to resist if you weren't all.. drippy here.
745
Are you saying that you don't want to get with this?
746
Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.
747
Come on.
748
Hold on.
749
Don't take this personally, okay?
750
It's just that I just can't have sex with a sick person.
751
I'm with you, Chandler.
752
I mean, I can't have sex with a sick person either.
753
It's disgusting.
754
But I'm not sick.
755
Let me prove it to you.
756
We are two healthy people.
757
And the bribe of live.
758
See, that's the thing.
759
I would like to stay in the priming mob live.
760
Chandler.
761
Oh, what is it, honey?
762
You need some tea?
763
Some soup?
764
Oh.
765
Calling Dr. Beague.
766
Dr. Beague to the bed.
767
Oh, jeez, honey, I thought you were asleep.
768
How could I be asleep knowing that you were the next room?
769
I was asleep.
770
Oh, no, no, no, honey.
771
You know what's sexy?
772
Layers.
773
No. Layers are sexy and blankets are sexy and, oh, hot water bottles are sexy.
774
Come on, get into bed.
775
I want to prove to you that I'm not sick.
776
I want to make you feel as good as I feel.
777
Ah, shoot!
778
Please get some rest.
779
I'm fine.
780
Eee!
781
Ah!
782
Ah!
783
Ah!
784
She wants you.
785
She barely knows me.
786
We just live in the same building.
787
Any contact?
788
She lent me an egg once.
789
You're in.
790
Oh, right.
791
Hey, Ross.
792
Hey.
793
Come on, Ross.
794
You gotta get back in the game here, okay?
795
The Rachel thing's not happening.
796
Your ex -wife's a lesbian.
797
I don't think we need a third.
798
Excuse me.
799
Can we get an egg over here still in the show?
800
Thanks.
801
An egg?
802
Yeah.
803
Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, here's your egg back.
804
I'm returning your egg.
805
I think it's winning.
806
Come on, I think it's insane.
807
She'll love it.
808
Thank you.
809
Thank you.
810
Here.
811
Go with the egg, my friend.
812
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
813
Think it'll work?
814
No way.
815
It's suicide.
816
The man's got an egg.
817
Okay, okay, you.
818
Here, come here.
819
Here.
820
Okay.
821
You're gonna take this tray, you're gonna stand on this yellow mark.
822
You're gonna move on action.
823
You're gonna walk over to the operating table, you're gonna stop on that blue mark, you're gonna put the tray down.
824
Don't walk too fast.
825
But don't dawdle.
826
Okay, now what? And...
827
Action!
828
Cut!
829
Cut!
830
I'm sorry.
831
I'm sorry.
832
I'm sorry.
833
I'm just a little nervous.
834
Yeah, well, don't be.
835
Okay, that helps. And.. action!
836
Cut!
837
Hey, you know what?
838
Don't worry about it, it usually takes me three takes, too.
839
All right, eight. And...
840
action! So what'd he say?
841
Uh, well, he can be a little rough around the edges, so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot with the word puppy.
842
Okay?
843
So he said, if your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together, I am gonna fire her mother puppy ass.
844
I'm sorry.
845
I can't do this.
846
I'm just not an actor.
847
That's right.
848
You're not.
849
You're a nurse.
850
You're a nurse with Trey.
851
Oh, Joey.
852
No, no, a nurse with Trey doesn't know Joey.
853
She doesn't have time for friends.
854
She gets in that operating room, and she carries that Trey to the doctor, because if she doesn't, people die. Who dies?
855
Man with eye patch.
856
Well, you get in there, and you do your job.
857
Yes, doctor.
858
Okay.
859
Okay, let's try this one more time.
860
Hang in there, man with eye patch.
861
Your tray is coming. And...
862
Action.
863
Yes, I did it!
864
I nailed it!
865
Whoo!
866
What's next?
867
The rest of the scene.
868
Okay, from the top, people.
869
Isn't this great?
870
Mm.
871
Couldn't you just stay like this forever?
872
Chandler, couldn't you just stay here forever?
873
Yeah, here, somewhere else, you know, wherever. Are you okay?
874
Yeah, I'm cool.
875
Casual.
876
What are you doing?
877
Well, just hanging out, you know, having fun, you know, with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
878
Man, I knew it.
879
I knew you were going to do this.
880
What?
881
Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
882
Well, you do want all that stuff, right?
883
Oh, and you know what I want.
884
Yes, you want babies.
885
You have baby fever.
886
I do not have baby fever.
887
Oh, please, you are obsessed with babies and marriage and everything that's related to babies and marriage.
888
You know what?
889
I got a good idea.
890
Why don't we turn the heat down on this Petra Cooker?
891
You lost your mind?
892
Taylor, this isn't about me.
893
This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap.
894
Nuh -uh.
895
I know you, okay?
896
I know the thoughts that you have in the head in your head.
897
You don't know everything.
898
Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you?
899
Hm?
900
And did you know that the only baby around here is you?
901
And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?
902
Yeah, well, I did not know that.
903
This is gonna be okay, right?
904
I mean, she's not gonna leave me.
905
This is fixable.
906
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.
907
Absolutely. By me.
908
Oh, no. No, no. Well, unless you make some kind of big gesture.
909
Yeah, big, though.
910
Oh, shit, the missus.
911
Here, can I get a coffee? To go?
912
Come on, okay, for me.
913
I'm still not done not wanting to talk to you.
914
Just tell me what I need to do to make things right.
915
What?
916
Well, that's what we do, you know?
917
I mess up, and then you tell me how to fix it, and then I do, and then, you know, you think I'm all cute again.
918
I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor.
919
You're gonna have to figure this one out for yourself, right?
920
You know what?
921
If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one.
922
Do you not want to be seen with me?
923
What?
924
No, of course I do.
925
Are they gone?
926
Uh, no, they're still here, but I think I'm about to leave.
927
What?
928
No, no, wait.
929
You're right.
930
This is stupid.
931
Who cares what people think?
932
I mean, we like each other, right?
933
There's nothing wrong with that.
934
Come on.
935
Burt, Lydia, Mel, this is Elizabeth.
936
Hi.
937
Aren't you in my popular culture class?
938
That's right, Lydia.
939
Elizabeth here is a student, and, uh, we're dating.
940
And you may frown upon that, but we're not gonna hide it anymore.
941
You are so fired.
942
What?
943
They're gonna fire you.
944
You can't date a student.
945
It's against the rules.
946
Really?
947
It's not just frowned upon?
948
Still doing the screening thing?
949
I had sex today.
950
I never have to answer that phone again.
951
You know, for me, you know what to do.
952
Hey, Bob, it's Jade.
953
Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day.
954
And just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
955
Bob here.
956
Oh, hi.
957
So, uh, you met someone, huh?
958
Yes.
959
Yes, I did.
960
In fact, I had sex with him two hours ago.
961
So, uh, how was he?
962
Eh.
963
Eh?
964
Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you.
965
I'd have to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.
966
Well, that makes me feel so good.
967
It was just so awkward and bumpy.
968
Well, maybe he has some kind of, uh, new, uh, cool style that you're not familiar with.
969
And, uh, maybe you have to get used to it.
970
Well, there really wasn't much time to get used to it, if you know what I mean.
971
Oh, hey.
972
Thank God you guys are here.
973
Hey, hey.
974
What's going on?
975
Everything is upside down here.
976
It rains all day long, and nobody watches TV, and Ross is famous.
977
All right, I don't want to alarm anybody, but Monica's hair is twice as big as it was when we landed.
978
Okay, when I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, okay?
979
That's why our honeymoon photos look like me and Diana Ross.
980
Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in.
981
Oh, honey, can you make sure we get a king -size bed?
982
Oh, David, get one for us, too.
983
Oh, and see if they have a heart -shaped one.
984
And with mirrors on the ceiling.
985
And make sure our room isn't next to theirs.
986
Whoo!
987
Whoo -hoo!
988
Die Hard.
989
Still great.
990
Yeah.
991
Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
992
What else did you rent?
993
Die Hard 2.
994
Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
995
Oh.
996
Well, we watched it a second time, and it's Die Hard 2.
997
Joey, we just saw it. And?
998
And it would be cool to see it again.
999
Yeah!
1000
Die Hard!
1001
Dude, you didn't say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
1002
Yeah, I just got plans.
1003
Well, John McLean had plans.
1004
You see the thing is I want to get out of here before
1005
Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch
1006
Talking about bitch
1007
What happened?
1008
I don't know.
1009
You fell asleep.
1010
That is all.
1011
Yeah.
1012
Yeah.
1013
Yeah.
1014
All right.
1015
Well, I better go.
1016
Yeah, I think that would be best.
1017
Yeah.
1018
All right.
1019
I'll talk to you later.
1020
Okay.
1021
But not about this.
1022
No, never.
1023
Never. So, uh...
1024
All right.
1025
Bye.
1026
No touch.
1027
No touch.
1028
Bye.
1029
Hey.
1030
Just, uh, brought back your videos.
1031
Hey, uh, Ross, look, uh, I think we need to talk about before.
1032
No, no, we don't.
1033
Yes, we do.
1034
Now, look, that was the best nap I ever had.
1035
I don't know what you're talking about.
1036
Come on, admit it.
1037
That was the best nap you ever had.
1038
I've had better.
1039
Okay, when?
1040
All right, all right.
1041
It was the best nap ever.
1042
I said it, okay?
1043
But it's over, Joey.
1044
I want to do it again.
1045
We can't do it again.
1046
Why not?
1047
Because it's weird.
1048
Fine.
1049
You want something to drink?
1050
Sure.
1051
What do you get?
1052
Warm milk and an Excedrin PM.
1053
I'm sorry, man.
1054
Boy, I'll tell you, that judging stuff took a lot out of me.
1055
Yeah?
1056
Yeah.
1057
Think about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch.
1058
Why would I care about that?
1059
No reason.
1060
I'm just saying that, uh, that's where I'll be.
1061
I'm a great lap.
1062
It really was.
1063
Dude, what the hell are you doing?
1064
Excuse me.
1065
All right, you know what?
1066
You're right.
1067
I should at least tell her how I feel.
1068
Okay.
1069
Ross, wait, wait.
1070
What?
1071
What?
1072
Could you get me a muffin?
1073
Rachel?
1074
Yeah?
1075
I -I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you...
1076
I loved you.
1077
No, I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but...
1078
I thought you should know.
1079
Comfer.
1080
Oh.
1081
I love you, too.
1082
Probably not in the same way.
1083
But I do.
1084
And when I'm in a cafe having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you.
1085
Bye, guys.
1086
Bye.
1087
Oh, my God!
1088
Unbelievable!
1089
Hey, you know what might help?
1090
I'm not getting you a muffin!
1091
Hi again.
1092
Hey.
1093
Hey.
1094
Thank you so much.
1095
Oh, don't thank me.
1096
Thank the jerk that never showed up.
1097
Okay, I gotta get to work.
1098
You want some help with that?
1099
Oh, no thanks, I got it.
1100
Oh, no, I don't.
1101
Whoa.
1102
Okay?
1103
Yeah.
1104
Whew.
1105
Just ended up too fast, got a little head rush.
1106
The heat. and the humidity.
1107
That's a, uh, that's a tough combination.
1108
Do you want to come in for some lemonade?
1109
Like you wouldn't believe.
1110
Wow.
1111
This is a great place.
1112
Thank you.
1113
Just make yourself comfortable.
1114
Gotcha.
1115
So this place is really my grandmother's.
1116
I got it from her when she moved to Florida.
1117
Otherwise, I could never afford a place like this.
1118
So if the landlord ever asks, I'm an 87 -year -old woman who's afraid of her VCR.
1119
You thirsty?
1120
Oh, you bet I am.
1121
Okay, here's your penis.
1122
Oh, my God!
1123
What the hell are you doing?
1124
You said you want to come in for some lemonade. So?
1125
Oh, were you just going to give me lemonade?
1126
Yeah, huh!
1127
Cover yourself up.
1128
Oh, right.
1129
Sorry.
1130
I don't believe this.
1131
I mean, someone asked you in for lemonade, and to you that means they want to have sex?
1132
Um, usually, yeah.
1133
Well, not just lemonade.
1134
Iced tea, sometimes juice.
1135
Sorry, I just...
1136
I thought you liked me.
1137
Such a jerk.
1138
It's okay.
1139
I suppose it could happen to anyone.
1140
Not anyone I know, but...
1141
By the way, I can still see it.
1142
I don't know why you're so embarrassed.
1143
They were very nice boobies.
1144
Nice?
1145
They were nice.
1146
I mean, that's it.
1147
I mean, mittens are nice.
1148
Okay, rock, hard place, me.
1149
Yuri, you're so funny.
1150
He's really funny.
1151
I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops.
1152
Whoa, whoa, back up there, Sparky.
1153
What did you mean by that?
1154
Well, it just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues.
1155
You know, that you use your humor as a way of keeping people at a distance.
1156
Huh.
1157
I mean, hey, I just met you.
1158
I don't know you from Adam.
1159
Only child, right?
1160
Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
1161
Uh -huh.
1162
How did you know that?
1163
It's textbook.
1164
Hey, you guys.
1165
Hey, Joe.
1166
You all know my dad.
1167
Hey, how long you in the city?
1168
Just for a couple of days.
1169
I got a job midtown.
1170
I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth down the ferry.
1171
I don't know this one.
1172
Oh, this is my friend, Roger.
1173
Hey, hey, good to meet you, Roger.
1174
You too, sir.
1175
What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
1176
Dad, uh, huh?
1177
Oh, oh, excuse me.
1178
So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
1179
Uh, uh...
1180
Oh, for two, huh?
1181
Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny.
1182
Hey.
1183
Hello, sir.
1184
You here to return those pants?
1185
No, these are my pants.
1186
Oh.
1187
Okay.
1188
How can I help you?
1189
Well, um, do you have a Santa outfit left?
1190
Two days before Christmas?
1191
Sorry, man.
1192
Okay, look, do you have anything, uh, Christmassy?
1193
I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him.
1194
Um, come on, I.. you gotta have something.
1195
I'm the Holiday Armadillo!
1196
I'm a friend of Santa's, and he sent me here to wish you a Merry Christmas!
1197
What happened to Santa?
1198
Holiday armadillo?
1199
Santa was unavailable so close to Christmas.
1200
Oh, come in.
1201
Have a seat.
1202
You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
1203
Texas?
1204
That's right, Ben.
1205
I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!
1206
But Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben.
1207
Maybe the lady will help me with these presents.
1208
Wow, thanks!
1209
You're welcome, Ben.
1210
Merry Christmas.
1211
Ooh. And Happy Hanukkah!
1212
Are you for Hanukkah, too?
1213
Because I'm part Jewish.
1214
You are?
1215
Me, too.
1216
Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?
1217
Thank you.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “The Ones That Make You Cringe: Part 4”. This video has 1217 sentences and 6860 words to shadow. The speech runs for 59:45. The speaker talks at a steady 115 words per minute, a comfortable pace for shadowing. 83% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start. 290 of its 1217 sentences are questions, so it is good practice for question intonation and short answers.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| ross noun | A swamp. | |
| honey noun | /ˈhʌni/ | A sweet, viscous, gold-colored fluid produced from plant nectar by bees, and often consumed by humans. |
| butt noun | /bʌt/ | Body; self. |
| pants noun | /pænts/ | An outer garment that covers the body from the waist downwards, covering each leg separately, usually as far as the ankles; trousers. |
| sexy adjective | /ˈsɛksi/ | Having sex appeal; attractive. |
| nurse noun | /nɝs/ | Anyone performing this role, regardless of training or profession. |
| asleep adjective | /əˈsliːp/ | In a state of sleep; also, broadly, resting. |
| resume verb | /ˈɹɛz.ə.meɪ/ | To start (something) again that has been stopped or paused from the point at which it was stopped or paused; continue, carry on. |
| puppy noun | /ˈpʌpi/ | A young rat. |
| lately adverb | /ˈleɪt.li/ | Recently; not long ago; of late; not long since. |
| tissue noun | /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/ | Thin, woven, gauzelike fabric. |
| adopt verb | /əˈdɑpt/ | To take voluntarily (a child of other parents) to be in the place of, or as, one's own child. |
| dull adjective | /dʌl/ | Lacking the ability to cut easily; not sharp. |
| whoa | /woʊ/ | Stop (especially when commanding a horse or imitative thereof); calm down; slow down. |
| sweater noun | /ˈswɛtɚ/ | A knitted jacket or jersey, usually of thick wool, worn by athletes before or after exercise. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| get up verb | To move in an upward direction; to ascend or climb. | |
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. | |
| break up verb | To break or separate into pieces. | |
| come in for verb | To be subjected to. | |
| come out verb | /ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/ | To be discovered; to be revealed. |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. | |
| get out of verb | To leave, exit or escape from; to become free of. | |
| back up verb | To move backwards, especially for a vehicle to do so. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- Don't you think on some level he already knows?
- You told him he's adopted?
- Why don't you taste it?
- Hey, aren't you up next?
- You got a man who's a nanny?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | has told · haven't told · He's probably always been |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | is broken · was adopted · is lost |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | one who made · guy who plays · age, which is |
| Advice with “should” should + verb — saying what is a good idea | should know · should give · should have |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 306 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, don't, you're. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: tenth /tɛnθ/, leather /ˈlɛðɚ/, theater /ˈθi(ə)tɚ/, theirs /ðɛɚz/, thirsty /ˈθɝs.ti/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: tissue /ˈtɪʃ.(j)u/, rush /ɹʌʃ/, impression /ɪmˈpɹɛʃn̩/, casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, affection /əˈfɛk.ʃən/
- Long words — get the stress right: humidity /hjuːˈmɪd.ə.ti/, intuitive /ɪnˈtjuːɪtɪv/, hilarious /hɪˈlɛə.ɹi.əs/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/, helicopter /ˈheliːˌkɔptə(ɹ)/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Shadow it sentence by sentence at normal speed, repeating each one until your rhythm matches the speaker.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like ross, honey, butt.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.