Практика Shadowing: How to Articulate Your Thoughts More Clearly Than 99% of People - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube
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Every time you speak, people are making a decision.
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Every time you speak, people are making a decision.
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Is this someone I can trust?
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Or is this someone that I tune out of?
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Running my company, acquisition.com, taught me this.
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Leadership lives or dies by your communication.
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If you cannot communicate like a leader,
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then you will never be trusted like one.
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So let me show you the five behaviors that are quietly killing your executive presence and exactly what to do instead.
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Number one is stop over explaining.
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You can have the best ideas in the room,
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but if you can't actually communicate them clearly,
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you will always follow somebody who can.
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And the thing is, is that trust erodes with every weak behavior that you let slide.
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You don't need to add behaviors to be taken seriously.
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You actually just need to eliminate the ones that make you look weak.
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The most intelligent people in the room,
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they rarely say the most.
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They actually usually say the least,
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but every word that they say lands with people that are there.
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I used to be the queen of over-explaining and I did it for multiple reasons.
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One, I felt like if I didn't give people every single thing from my brain
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that they weren't gonna understand the concept when it was actually the fact that I didn't know how to simplify concepts.
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The second is that I felt not sure in what I was saying,
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and so I talked around the thing a million ways until I finally was like,
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does the person understand the message?
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And then the third thing was that if somebody wasn't giving me the reaction that I wanted,
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I felt unsure, uncertain, doubtful,
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so then I kept talking,
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and it was out of nervousness.
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And so it wasn't until I got into a setting where I was leading a big team where I realized
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that I watched myself on a meeting and I was replaying it
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because I felt like I didn't get the reaction I wanted out of my team,
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and when I watched them watching me,
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I was just talking in circles.
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At some point, they tune out.
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They're like, you're just said it six times already.
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Like, I don't need to hear you say it again, lady.
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Like, we already know.
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The second is that I didn't come off confident.
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So people started to check out because they're like,
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suddenly they're like, well, I don't want to listen to you because you're not an expert.
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Because experts and people who are confident,
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people who know their , they don't need to talk that much about the thing.
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They just say it, they assume that you understand, they move on.
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Here's the thing.
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If you pause and you're okay with silence,
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it gives people time to process and respect your words.
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Authority is felt when one speaks as if they're expected to be heard,
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not as if they're hoping to be heard.
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So when your communication is tight,
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your thinking appears sharp, even if it's imperfect.
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When people are trying to improve their executive presence,
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the first thing that I say is you have less time to talk.
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They're usually taking up way too much time when they're speaking.
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A trick that I do with my executives,
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for example, is that when I'm having them present in our quarterly off-sites,
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in our meetings, oftentimes they say,
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well, how many slides can I get?
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I'm like, it's not about how many slides you get.
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You get two minutes to talk.
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However many slides you want in there, great.
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But I try to constrain the amount of talk time they have
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because it will constrain them to a certain amount of time,
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which makes them bring the message down to only the most important points.
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Because if not, right, is most of the time they're over-explaining.
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And over-explaining makes them sound insecure,
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which is why people don't listen to you in the first place or take you seriously.
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There's a quote by Warren Buffett that says,
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the one easy way to become worth 50% more than you
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are right now is literally just to hone down your communication skills.
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Number two is that we want to stop fidgeting.
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What you say does not matter if your body language is saying the opposite.
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People won't follow somebody who looks uncertain.
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So if your voice and your body are not aligning,
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people don't trust either of those things because your energy reads as nervous and uncertain.
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And people don't want to follow somebody who comes off nervous and uncertain.
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So instead, instead of being nervous and just some chewing gum like I'll do
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that and playing with your hair and playing with your nails and like doing all sorts of things,
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instead You want to be controlled, precise, and slow.
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Now, why does this work?
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One, having a strong posture,
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having a strong presence, standing up straight,
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putting your hands together, having your shoulders back,
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sitting up straight, that shows that you're grounded even if you are unsure.
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And it also signals to you that you're grounded.
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The second is that the way that you position yourself literally signals to somebody how you feel about yourself.
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So think about somebody who's really confident in themselves and then think about how they stand.
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Stand that way, right?
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If somebody's very confident, they're standing like this,
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they might be using a lot of gestures,
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they feel open, they feel big and they're taking up a lot of space, right?
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When you think about somebody who's not confident,
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you probably think of like more hunched over like this,
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they're doing some uncertain stuff,
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it looks fidgety, and they're slouching,
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they don't look sure about themselves.
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I remember actually that I had a director of operations and she was really great at managing projects,
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but the moment that it got to,
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okay, we're going to command the team,
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we're gonna tell the team what to do,
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she had the weirdest fidgeting.
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And so she would do two things.
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One, she would bite her nails.
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I go phone my calls.
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She wouldn't stop biting her nails.
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And she would be talking, oh, your nails.
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And I was like, it's such a little thing,
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but it makes a difference.
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And the second thing she would do is she would constantly be doing like this with her hair
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and just playing with her hair.
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And she wouldn't ever stop fidgeting.
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And her fidgeting actually signaled to me that she was nervous or uncertain.
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And so I had a call with her and I said,
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hey, I actually think the one thing that you could do
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that would make the biggest difference into how you lead this
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team is I just need you to get some fake nails so you stop biting them.
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And so it was really funny because she actually went to the nail salon,
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got fake nails, and she stopped biting her nails.
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And it actually made her look much more confident with the team
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because she didn't have this nervous fidget that she was doing.
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Think about how if you see a CEO on a stage versus,
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let's say, a customer support rep,
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how do you think they're going to show up differently?
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How are they going to walk?
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How are they going to talk?
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Where are they going to put their hands?
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How are they going to move their hands?
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It's like the CEO is probably going to have very intentional gestures.
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They're going to use their hands to tell a story.
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They're going to bring people into it.
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Whereas the customer support rep might be fidgeting.
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They might be talking like this.
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They might be going like this.
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They might be rubbing their arm.
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They'll be playing with their hair.
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And so you have to remember what executive presence looks like.
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And most people have some kind of nervous fidget that they do or they ramble.
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And those things distract them from what they're saying.
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It steals their confidence and it steals attention that the audience would have on what you're saying.
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And now they're watching the thing that you're doing.
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So end of the day,
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we want to replace the nervous fidgets,
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the slouching, the weird gestures with adopting a slow,
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precise, and grounded posture and movement that make people instinctively trust you more.
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Number three is we want to stop asking for permission.
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You don't get appointed to be the leader.
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You claim leadership through behavior.
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If you don't step in and own something,
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take ownership, become a leader, somebody else might.
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And that person might be dumber and less qualified than you,
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which is the funny part.
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It might not be your job,
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but it is your responsibility to take ownership in situations.
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And people with a high executive presence do that automatically.
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I remember when I was in college and I was put put on this project and there were four of us.
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Was actually out sick.
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I'd had the flu.
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And so when I came in,
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I had this group of four of us and I was like,
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okay, the project's due in two weeks.
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Like where are we at?
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And everyone was like, I don't know,
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we haven't started, we this, we that.
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And I was like, what?
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I was like, guys, we're not gonna get this done.
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And so I realized, I was like,
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I need to stop waiting for them to say,
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hey, you lead this project.
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And I was like, .
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So I got home that night.
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I put together the whole plan.
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I said, I'm gonna do this.
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John's gonna do this.
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Sarah's gonna do this.
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Here's how it's gonna go.
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Here's the timeline.
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Here's what we're gonna do.
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We're gonna meet after school tomorrow.
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So I came the next day,
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I brought them the plan,
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we put it all together, and guess what?
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I didn't ask to be the leader,
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but then they all started coming to me.
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Hey, does this look okay?
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Do you think I should do anything differently?
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What do you think I should do here?
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How should I do this?
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And suddenly I became the leader in that situation.
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Now, I didn't wait for somebody to say,
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hey, we need a leader here.
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I just said, hey, there's no leader.
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Maybe I should step up and do it myself.
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Now, why does this work?
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Leaders are followed because they create certainty.
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If you don't create certainty in your team,
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amongst all the chaos, it's gonna be really tough for people to follow you.
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And that is why people like being around leaders because they make them feel safe.
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Now, why do they feel safe?
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Because they create that certainty.
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Now, how do they create that certainty?
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They don't sit there and ask,
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do I have permission to be your leader?
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Do I have permission to lead you here?
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They just are.
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They take control, they take ownership, they're decisive.
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And that decisiveness builds momentum,
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whereas indecision is what breathes doubt in people.
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And people want to be led by somebody who acts,
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not somebody who asks for permission.
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Number four is we want to stop avoiding hard conversations.
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People won't say it out loud,
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but they are counting every single time that you avoid doing the hard thing.
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It's mentally they're checking that point, right?
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And avoidance kills respect, period.
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People won't say it to your face,
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but they will remember it when you avoid something.
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Every time that you dodge the truth, you lose respect.
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Every time you don't address a challenging situation, you lose respect.
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And so executive presence means being the one who will say what others won't say.
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I remember there was a quote from Mark Zuckerberg that I actually really liked,
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and he said, your job as a CEO is to be a truth teller.
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You have to tell the truth even if nobody else will.
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I would say this is the number one thing that I have to do on a continuous basis,
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is have hard conversations.
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The only way I've gotten anywhere in my health,
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my relationships, my family, my friendships,
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my work life is just by having those hard conversations.
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For example, I remember that I had a friend,
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and she kept telling me that she was having a hard time with her boyfriend,
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and she was saying like,
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Oh, you know, I think he's two-timey,
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I think he's this, I think he's that.
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And every time she brought it up,
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I realized that while she was bringing that up,
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she wasn't addressing the fact that she was doing some nefarious things in her relationship herself.
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And so I said, you know what?
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I realized I can't be friends with somebody that shit-talked somebody who's also not upholding their end of the bargain.
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And so I addressed it with her and I said like,
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hey, I don't actually think that we can keep having these conversations
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because you don't take any responsibility for where you're at in the relationship.
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And so either take the responsibility or don't talk to me about it.
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And I remember in that moment,
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she was like completely shocked.
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And I was like, well,
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listen, if you want to talk to me about it,
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I'm going to have an opinion about it.
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But if you don't want me to have an opinion,
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then don't talk to me about it.
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And if you want me to talk to you about it,
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then do something about the situation.
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And I remember it was like the first time I broke the seal with that person specifically who'd been a friend,
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and I felt fed up with their shit.
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And what I realized in that moment is I walked away having more respect for myself.
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It wasn't about her and about the conversation,
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but it was about me feeling confident in myself,
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having the respect for myself that I'm the kind of person that does hard things and addresses those things.
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So what you want to do is you want to replace avoidance with confrontation.
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It's not that you just want to confront people and loosely call people out,
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act like an asshole, but you want to confront them with composure.
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And what that means is you want to be honest,
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because when you're honest, that builds trust.
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When you soften the truth,
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when you avoid the truth, you create confusion.
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And when you name names,
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you become the person to look for when you want solutions.
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And great leaders don't avoid discomfort, they walk towards it.
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Number five is stop being inconsistent.
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You cannot be trusted to lead others if you can't regulate yourself.
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If your mood dictates how you lead,
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you are not leading, you're just reacting to your own emotions.
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Executive presence is earned through emotional predictability.
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For example, when I was working in a gym as a personal trainer,
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I had a boss and he would come in and it was like,
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no matter what we had done,
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no matter how good we were doing,
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no matter how happy everybody was,
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it was like, depending on whatever happened with him at home,
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that was gonna rain hell on all of us that day.
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So he would come in and it would be like,
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what the are you doing?
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Get the numbers up, do this.
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And I was like, oh my gosh.
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And it was horrible because what I realized,
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I was like, this guy has no emotional regulation and he will fail at his job because of that.
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It's interesting because I remember,
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even if he understood how to tactically do the job,
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the fact that he would walk in and his emotions were what controlled how he acted that day,
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I just had no respect for him.
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And therefore, I wouldn't follow him.
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I wouldn't be led by him.
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And I ended up eventually leaving the situation.
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So what you have to do in order to maintain and increase your executive presence is replace inconsistency with predictability.
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Consistency creates psychological safety.
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And people perform better when they know what to expect from you.
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Emotional regulation under stress is one of the rarest and most respected leadership traits.
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And so the higher that you climb,
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the more people will look to you before they look at the data.
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Executive presence is not about being charismatic.
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It's about being somebody that people trust to lead.
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I used to think it was about charisma,
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and so I felt like I wasn't a good communicator because I wasn't super charismatic,
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which is probably weird to see now.
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So you want to cut out the weak behaviors,
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and you want to replace them with clarity, with calmness, with conviction.
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And you will start to see that people will listen to you.
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And so at the end of the day,
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it's much more about what you stop doing that's making you
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not have executive presence than it is about what you start doing.
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If you want to learn more about how to be a great leader,
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you can check out my video on how kind leaders succeed when nice bosses fail.
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В этом видео обсуждаются важные аспекты ясного и уверенного общения, которое особенно актуально в современных деловых и социальных контекстах. Оратор делится своим опытом, объясняя, как неправильные привычки могут негативно сказаться на восприятии человека как лидера. Эффективное общение – это ключ к доверию и уважению, и важно понимать, как правильно доводить свои мысли до слушателя.
Топ-5 фраз для повседневного общения
- «Давайте упростим это.» – Это может помочь вам избежать чрезмерного объяснения.
- «Как вы понимаете это?» – Позвольте собеседнику уточнить, что он понял из вашего сообщения.
- «Давайте сделаем паузу.» – Молчание дает время для осмысления.
- «Могу я объяснить это иначе?» – Такой подход позволяет адаптироваться к желаниям слушателя.
- «Я уверен, что…» – Уверенность в своих словах повышает уровень доверия.
Пошаговое руководство по шадовингу
Чтобы успешно освоить стиль общения, описанный в видео, вы можете использовать метод шадовинга. Вот пошаговая инструкция, как это сделать:
- Выберите подходящее видео для шадовинга. Найдите видео, которое вас интересует, и которое содержит ясное и уверенное общение.
- Слушайте внимательно. Обратите внимание на интонацию, ударение и паузы оратора. Это поможет вам понять, как правильно структурировать свои мысли.
- Повторяйте за спикером. Воспользуйтесь шадовингом: проговаривайте за оратором его слова, стараясь максимально точно воспроизвести их интонацию и темп.
- Запишите себя. Сравните свою речь с оригиналом, чтобы выявить слабые места и области для улучшения.
- Практикуйте регулярно. Чем больше вы будете слушать и повторять, тем увереннее будете чувствовать себя в разговорной практике на английском.
Эта техника очень эффективна для учить английский с YouTube и улучшения ваших навыков в практика разговорного английского. Используя шадовинг, вы сможете развивать свою уверенность и четкость общения.
Что такое техника Shadowing?
Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.
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