Практика Shadowing: How to Break Bad Habits | James Clear & Dr. Andrew Huberman - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube

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What are some of the tools that people can use to break bad habits that are not related to the phone?
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What are some of the tools that people can use to break bad habits that are not related to the phone?
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Just because we've already covered those.
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But there are a lot of people who have trouble craving sweets, late night eating, tough one.
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That's a tough one.
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When I'm craving some sour candy type flavor, that's a tough one.
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I usually can manage to just wait it out, But that's my vice.
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Sure.
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People have, you know, they've got their stuff.
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What do you suggest?
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So we just went over four things that make habits stick.
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You make it obvious, attractive, easy, satisfying.
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To break habits or to decrease the odds that a behavior is going to occur, you just invert those four.
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So rather than making it obvious, make it invisible.
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Don't keep junk food in the house.
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Put, you know, unsubscribe from the emails, whatever.
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Reduce exposure to the thing that triggers it.
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Rather than making it attractive, make it unattractive.
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This is the most difficult one for bad habits.
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I would say it's the last place you should probably focus because once you learn that the sweet tastes good or that a donut is tasty, it's hard to rewire your brain to think something different.
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You would need to, well, I'll give you an example of it in a minute.
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So rather than make it attractive, make it unattractive.
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Rather than making it easy, make it difficult.
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Increase friction.
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Add steps between you and the behavior.
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You know, I've heard from people who take the sweets and they put them on the highest shelf in the garage so then they have to walk all the way out there and climb up to get them.
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You still know they're there.
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You can still get it, but you're just trying to find ways to increase friction.
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You know, say you want to smoke.
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If you have a pack of cigarettes on the table in front of you, that's really low friction.
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Like, you need a lot of willpower to resist that.
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If the closest pack is three miles down the road to the grocery store, you still might get in the car and drive there, but it's a lot more friction.
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And then rather than making it satisfying, make it unsatisfying.
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Usually that's about having some kind of immediate consequence to the reward.
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you can manufacture this in some ways maybe you start like an agreement like I was just texting with my friend Brian the other day and he wanted to get in shape he like really felt like he wanted to lose these last 10 pounds and so he hired a trainer and then he wrote up a contract between he, his trainer and his wife and if he did not hit his weight check-ins for the next three months then there was some reward for his wife she got, I don't know she got like $1,000 to go shopping or something like that I don't remember what it was but something and then if he did hit it Then he got like $1,000 to go to the football game or whatever.
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And the point is just that there's now some kind of immediate cost to the action that previously did not have it.
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So it's just an inversion of the four laws.
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And again, for both of these, building good habits and breaking bad ones, you don't need all four of these things at the same time.
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But the more that you have these levers working for you, the more likely it is that you're going to get the outcome that you want.
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to go back to the point that I had earlier about making things unattractive is difficult.
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The only way that I have really seen it is if somebody kind of gradually changes their identity.
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Sometimes it can be rapid.
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Like, let's say you read a, you know, let's say that every morning you go down and you make some toast and jam for breakfast.
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And then you read a book that convinces you that carbs are the devil and grains are terrible.
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And you're like, oh, I don't want that at all.
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Now I'm not going to eat toast for breakfast anymore.
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So now you've had this, you've flipped this switch in your mind.
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You see the loaf of bread.
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And instead of thinking breakfast, you think, oh, that's something I don't want.
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That's one example of how it could be made unattractive.
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Sometimes you see that happening.
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I'm not advocating against grains, by the way.
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But it's rare, right?
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The other way is it tends to be more gradual.
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You know, like you show up and you keep reinforcing a certain identity, and then two or three or four years later, you're like, you know what, this has become an important part of my life.
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That thing that I used to do, I probably don't need that anymore.
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And you can kind of, you know, let it go.
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It doesn't carry the same weight that it used to carry before in your mind.
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But that's slow.
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So I don't recommend focusing on it because it's either hard or it's slow.
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Whereas the other changes like reducing exposure to the cue or increasing the amount of friction or distance between you and the habit, those are much quicker.
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Social constraints can play a big role, I think.
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years ago I read something that many people I don't know if this is true but this article claimed that many people who are obese like me the clinical definition of obese self-reported that they didn't want to exercise because they felt it made them feel selfish I thought that was interesting now I'm sure some people hear that and they go oh they're making excuses but it was interesting like let's assume that they were telling the truth because I think they were You know, this idea that, you know, most of us think of exercise as taking great care of yourself.
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You're gonna be around for people longer and yourself, and you can, all these great things.
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But I think there's a category of people out there that think, no, working out is selfish.
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It's like self-indulgent.
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It's not kind.
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It's not altruistic.
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Your time should be spent doing other things.
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Taking too much time for myself and not focused on others enough.
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Yeah, and there's a whole depth of psychology there, I'm sure.
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But I think what I had to assume is that it's a product of environment and upbringing where, you know, people come to believe that.
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So if you're, for instance, somebody who doesn't want to drink alcohol anymore and you like went to the university that I went to where everyone drank, like everyone drank, you know, you're fighting a pretty tough uphill battle.
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My experience was that the only way to win that battle the first time and every time is to make the battle the point where you basically are like, you zig, I zag.
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You have to take this kind of antagonistic stance, right?
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I'm not gonna be like you.
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And that's a frustrating thing because it can separate you from people in social gatherings.
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I was gonna say, that's kind of a hard place to live.
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It's very effective.
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I did drink a bit in college, but drinking was never really a big thing for me anyway.
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So it's easy to do or easy to not do, just by virtue of where I was and me.
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But as an example, I think, yeah, when you take this, everyone else sleeps in, I get up at 4 a.m.
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They don't, why?
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Well, because I'm not like them.
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I think it works, but it's a separator.
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And so I think this question of like, how can we build good habits, break bad habits, but stay in the context that we're in, it runs counter current to some of the things we were talking about earlier, like surround yourself with good books and information, surround yourself with people that are doing the kinds of things you wanna do.
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And a lot of people are living in these landscapes where like the people around them are going the wrong direction, or at least not supportive of the right direction.
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I think the hard part about what you just described is it's fight, not flow.
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Yeah.
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It's like, it's what you were saying earlier.
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And it's possible to fight your environment for a while, but it's hard to live that way for the long run.
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Sometimes I almost view environment as like a form of gravity.
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And I mean like both the physical environment and the social one.
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Physical environment is always nudging you to do certain things in certain spaces.
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Right now, I am sitting here because this is where the chair is.
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Now, I could sit anywhere else in this room, but I would be sitting on the floor.
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And so the environment is kind of ushering me to sit in this spot, right?
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I'm always sort of being nudged.
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It's like a form of gravity pulling me here for this behavior.
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I could try to figure out a way to get out of this room that doesn't use the door, but I would really have to, you know, I got to break through the wall or I got to climb through the ceiling or something that is very high friction.
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So I'm always being nudged towards using the door to get out of the space.
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All of your spaces, that's those examples sound like quite obvious, but all of the spaces that you're in are like that all day long.
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There's always something that is easy and natural and consistent to do with the environment and you're always sort of being ushered in that direction.
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So do your physical spaces contribute to the habits that you're trying to build?
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When they do, it's easier to build those behaviors.
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When they don't, you're fighting an uphill battle.
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The social environment is perhaps an even stronger form of that.
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If there was any one thing that I it add to atomic habits that wasn't in there, it would be more on the social environment.
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I have a chapter on the influence of friends and family, so it's not like I didn't know that it was part of it.
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But the impact of social environment on our behaviors is so strong and so dramatic.
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It's almost, it's like that classic line of like a fish in water.
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They're like, what is water?
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We almost don't even see it anymore because it's just everywhere.
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It's so pervasive.
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But we are all part of multiple groups.
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Some of those groups are really large, like what it means to be American or what it means to be French.
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Some of those groups are smaller, like what it means to be a member of the local CrossFit gym or a neighbor on your street or a volunteer at the elementary school.
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But all of the groups that you belong to, large and small, have a set of shared expectations, a set of social norms, a set of typical habits that people do in that group.
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And when your habits are aligned, when they go with the grain of the expectations of that group, And they're easy to stick to because you get praised for, you get rewarded for, you get welcomed for it.
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And when your habits go against the grain of the expectations of the group, you get ostracized, you get criticized, you get judged.
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And nobody likes that.
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It doesn't feel good.
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And so humans at some deep biological level are incredibly social creatures.
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We all want to bond and connect, even if it's just your little friend or family unit.
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Like we all want to be part of something and be connected to people.
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And so when people have to choose between I have the habits that I want, but I'm ostracized, I'm criticized, I'm, you know, cast out.
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Or I have habits that I don't really love, but I fit in.
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I belong.
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I'm accepted.
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I'm praised.
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A lot of the time, the desire to belong will overpower the desire to improve.
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And so I feel like for the long run, the only answer is you have to get those two things aligned.
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Sometimes, sure, maybe you need to, you know, the harsh ways are like fire your friends or, you know, never see somebody again or whatever.
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Fire your friends.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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Have you ever heard that?
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No.
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People are like, yeah, you need to get new friends or whatever.
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I don't think you need to be that extreme about it.
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But what I do think you need is a space that is conducive to the habit you're trying to build.
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So if you live with people who have no interest in yoga, but you want to get into it, fine.
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You don't need to do it at home or in your apartment.
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You can go to a yoga studio for an hour, and that's a space that's conducive to the habit where you're surrounded by people who are doing it.
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And I think this is the real punchline, the real takeaway, is you want to join groups where your desired behavior is the normal behavior.
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because if your desired behavior is normal, now you can rise together, right?
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You can soak up the behaviors of that group.
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So sometimes those spaces are ready made, like there's tons of yoga studios, not hard to find one.
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But other times you need to be the one to create the space.
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So like early in my career, I don't really have anybody in my family who was an entrepreneur.
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I don't have anybody who's an author.
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So I'm like, all right, I want to start this thing, but I don't really know who to look to.
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So I started reaching out to a bunch of different authors and stuff, cold email people.
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I think I cold emailed about 300 people in the first six months.
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Like maybe 30 of them got in touch and were like, yeah, I'll chat with you for 30 minutes or whatever.
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So I knew a few people.
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And then I went to a conference and there were like maybe 10 of those people there.
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So I got to meet some people in person.
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So it's like, okay, six months in, I know a couple people now.
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And then I started hosting these retreats where I would get six or eight authors together.
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And I would just say, let's split the cost of an Airbnb, get together for two or three days.
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and we'll talk about how to write books and launch books and build an audience and grow an email list and all the stuff that, you know, nonfiction authors are focused on.
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And it was almost always like one of the best weekends of my year.
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And I was worried that I was going to invite people and then look like a dork and people would be like, no, I don't want to come, you know, and whatever.
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But everybody always said yes.
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And it's because everybody wants the same thing.
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You know, they're all waiting for somebody to get like-minded people together where we can share ideas and be around people who are wrestling with the same problems.
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so that was not a space that was ready-made but it really helped a lot of my writing and business habits if we want to call them that um you know it helped my growth in that area and uh it's just about joining groups or creating groups where your desired behavior is normal

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