ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: Gabriel Iglesias: The Chocolate Cake Shake Experience 😂🔥🤣 | Stand-up Comedy

Now, you guys are clapping, but he's not leaving.

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Now, you guys are clapping, but he's not leaving.

I've already asked him, I said,

Frankie, what do you want to do with your life?

Mm-hmm.

Have you thought about college?

Just now.

I'm like, Frankie, you do realize that all you need to do is get accepted.

I tell a lot of jokes.

I will pay for your entire college education,

no matter where you want to go.

As long as you get accepted.

What do you think about that?

Mm-mm.

I said, you know, if you want to go to school in California,

we'll make it happen.

You want to go to school out of state, we'll make it happen.

I said, hell, I'll even do one of those international programs.

You know, the ones where you give them one of your children,

and then they give you one of their children?

What is it called when you kid swap?

Exchange.

Thank you.

Sorry.

That's right.

Exchange.

Some of you are like, that's called human trafficking.

Different program.

I would love to do an exchange program with my son,

but don't give me a regular kid.

If I'm going to do an exchange program,

give me a kid from like a hardcore third world country

so that he appreciates all the basic things most American children take for granted.

That's why I say give me little Tombutu

Give me Tombutu I would love Tombutu And Tombutu would love me Mr. Fluffy Yes,

Tombutu I was wondering what time do we go to sleep

You go to sleep whenever you like This is your room We sleep next door All of this Is for Tumbutu?

Yes, all of this is for Tumbutu In my village,

two families Sleep in an area this big Well,

here in America One big ass Mexican kid sleeps right here

Enjoy And then I would take him to like IHOP

or Denny's and let him order Whatever he wants and just watch him lose it You know

This is the Thanksgiving I heard of Thank you, Mr. Fluffy.

Thank you.

If there is anything Tombuto can do for you, please tell me anything.

Can you help me take out the trash?

For you, I will eat the trash.

Meanwhile, my son's on the other side of the world on top of an elephant trying to get Wi-Fi.

Tell your kids something, that's one thing.

When you can get their friends to say what you say,

you can't pay for that.

and they're always doing it.

You know, Frankie, you're lucky, man.

Your dad's trying to help you go to college.

My dad wants me to get a job.

Frankie, you're lucky, man.

Your dad's trying to give you a car.

My dad doesn't even trust me to walk.

You're lucky, man.

And I hear this, and I'm like, I love these kids.

Because, see, my son is very numb to this situation.

He's very numb to all of you,

and he's very numb to Fluffy.

Okay, he doesn't see Fluffy.

He sees, Dad, Dad.

I'm just Dad.

You know, I'm the guy that tells him,

clean your room, take a shower,

and put on deodorant, which he does very well now.

But you guys saw what I had to do to make that happen.

See, his friends, on the other hand,

they still get excited when they see me.

They still geek out.

I walk into the living room.

They're all sitting there.

Frankie sees me, hey dad.

His friends see me, they see this.

With like doves.

Can you imagine if every time you walked into a room that happened?

He's here.

Ladies, imagine if your partner could do that for you.

It's your anniversary, a celebration,

some magical moment, or you're just laying there and you're drunk.

And you're just like, what are you going to do to me?

What are you going to do?

One extra dove.

And by the way, guys,

if you're ever able to pull off the doves,

just leave it at that.

Don't try to top the doves.

It's very hard to top the doves.

Don't start running your mouth and talking smack.

You're like, she's laying there.

And don't start, you know,

you don't even know what's going to happen to you.

You don't even understand.

You're going to get it.

Don't do that.

Because ladies, all you have to do is look at him and go, ah.

100

It's on a different meaning.

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Now, I heard a woo.

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Do we have people in the house from the UK?

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All right, let me tell the rest of the people about you.

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I love it whenever people from the UK come here to the United States because when we hear you speak,

105

you sound incredible.

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You sound amazing.

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You sound educated.

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You sound inspirational.

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That accent is so proper.

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It is so proper.

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It doesn't matter what you're talking about.

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We're drawn to whatever it is.

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You could be talking about trash.

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It sounds amazing.

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Who could leave all this rubbish here?

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This is such a travesty.

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This is all this destruction here all over the sidewalk.

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Someone must tend to this at once.

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This is ridiculous.

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People are listening in.

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I don't know what happened over there,

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but the shit hit the fan.

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That guy from England is pissed.

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I don't know.

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What the hell is rubbish?

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See it's very different now

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when one of us goes over there Man it's very very different

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because see we don't sound the same as them as a

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matter of fact as Americans we we have a certain way

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with the English language Do you understand how we sound to them?

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I mean seriously, do you know how you know how they look at us when they hear us speak?

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We sound like this to them I'll tell you right now the other day I was hanging out with Phil right?

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That son bitch come over the house.

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We had ourselves a good old time.

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Who's that me and Phil?

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And by the way, if you sound like that here tonight, I'm just kidding.

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There's just jokes.

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Don't feel like just, you know,

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I'm going to wait for his ass outside.

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I see how funny he is when he gets to the parking lot.

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Fluffing my ass.

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I just think it's funny that no matter what they talk about over there,

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they sound the same.

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It sounds the same.

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You know, whereas with us Americans,

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we speak according to our environment.

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We change it up.

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We morph, we adapt.

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We all have our, for example,

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we all have our trying to get a good job voice.

151

When you walk in for that interview,

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you don't sound the way you sound on a Saturday night when you're having a couple of drinks.

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No, you clean it up you practice in the car and

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when you walk in you turn it on

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if you'll check my references you'll see him more than qualified

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for this position please feel free to call Frank Torres Frank

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will tell you the amazing job I did for him two

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and a half weeks ago listen I'm ready to work seven

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days a week 365 days a year no job is too

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big no task is too small you can count on me

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I'm the right person for the job please keep me in Thank you so much for your time.

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And then you get to the parking lot.

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And then you get to the parking lot, and you're like, whew.

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Hijo a la chingada, ojala que me de trabajo porque no. No,

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ta cabron, wey, man.

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No, I need a job, man.

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I need a job.

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Whoo.

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You guys know we all have our daytime voice

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that we have around our family and our friends and our children, you know?

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And then we have our late-night voice,

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you know, our party voice.

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GIGAR!

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And then

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if you're lucky enough you have your late late late night voice destroy You don't even know what's about to happen

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Look at some of you're looking at me like oh my god fluffy's a freak I'm just giving an example

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All the kids are like oh this is different Sorry cuz I see those kids and they're just like Uhhh!

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Dad's like, pinchy fluffy.

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No, no, no, no. Bad fluffy, bad fluffy, bad fluffy.

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But see now, over there,

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they sound the same no matter what they're doing.

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When they apply for a job.

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If you'll check my references,

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you will see I'm more than qualified for this position.

185

When they party.

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If you'll pour me the wine, I will drink it.

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It is brilliant, I tell you.

188

When they're making love.

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I'm going to part your legs like the Red Sea.

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Oh, I'm going to defile you in such an amazing fashion.

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You will rule the day you came across me at that local pub.

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I'm going to lower my drawbridge and introduce you to the Queen, yes I shall.

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And when you arrive at that magical moment,

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I want you to scream victory.

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Victory!

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My job is done here.

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The only messed up part about that joke is that that's the only joke the kids remember That's a bad segue No,

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there's no horse at this hotel.

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Listen I

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Would like to personally thank the promoters for not only making this special happen But for taking really good care of us.

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They put us at a hotel that's right across the street you guys

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and you know You know you're in a good hotel when you get inside of the elevator and it talks

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It's one of those, you know First floor Second floor Third floor I'm like man,

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she sounds hot Fourth floor Fifth floor Oh yeah

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Martin asked me how far are you going up?

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I said all the way

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I gotta see how this ends you know what I'm saying well sometimes we don't have a permit okay so

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but it doesn't mean the food is not good for me to know

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that I'm gonna have a good experience at a taco truck I always researched

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and I look to see who's running the truck for me to know

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that I'm gonna have a good time I want to make sure that it's an all-female crew not to sound sexist

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It's just that when it's all women running the truck,

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they make me feel good about myself.

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They make me feel special.

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When I walk up at 1 o'clock in the morning and I have a buzz,

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they make me feel good.

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Hello!

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They come to the window.

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Hola, mi gordito, como estas?

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Como estas, gordito chuleto, este gordito?

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Como luto?

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A ver, a ver, ojitos, ojitos.

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Ojitos.

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I feel like a kid.

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I'm like, can I have a taco?

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Whatever you want me to do, I'll give you.

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Now see, when it's an all-Mexican male crew running the truck, it's late.

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They're tired.

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They're bitter.

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Customer service isn't our strongest point at 1 o'clock in the morning.

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And then you gotta deal with a drunk knucklehead like me.

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Hello?

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And they come to the window.

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What you want?

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What you want?

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Hey, what's up, bro?

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Can I have a taco?

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Okay, what else?

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Let's sit.

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That's not even a word.

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But you know exactly what he just told you.

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For some reason, Mexican people and only Mexican people have this sound that comes out of us

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that can just discredit anything you put in front of it.

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It doesn't matter what it is.

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We can kill it with that sound.

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I just graduated from college, top of my class.

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Ah!

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Well, fine, I'll work at Burger King.

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Papi, this is my fiancé.

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He loves...

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What is it you want me to try?

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And they said, well, they sell a thing here at Portillo's called a chocolate cake.

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I said you had me at chocolate.

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They said, well, you got to go to the special window and you got to order it from the lady.

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So I'm like, okay, cool.

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So I get up and I walk over to the lady and she's like,

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can I help you?

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I say, yes.

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My friends are telling me that I need to try this thing called a chocolate cake shake.

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Okay, what size would you like?

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How good is it?

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You want a large.

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All right, can I please have a large chocolate cake shake?

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No problem.

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And I pay.

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And she turns around.

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She turns around and she walks over to this little refrigerator that's on the counter.

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And she opens it up and she pulls out a piece of chocolate cake.

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And I'm thinking to myself,

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she must misunderstood what I said.

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I didn't ask for a piece of chocolate cake.

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I asked for a chocolate cake shake.

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she must have heard what I was thinking because she's walking by and she's like it's gonna happen

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she walks over to the blender she takes the freaking lid off

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and she just looks at me and does this and I was like no And she's like, oh yeah.

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She pours it and she hands me this like 44 ounce chocolate shake,

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which is way more than anybody should be drinking.

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The straw was so thick you could almost fit your thumb in it, okay?

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So I grabbed the shake and I begin to attempt to drink it.

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So I'm just...

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Mmm.

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Mmm.

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And I can see the shake coming up.

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Mmm.

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Mmm.

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Mmm.

287

Mmm.

288

Mmm.

289

Mmm.

290

Mmm.

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