ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: How to Leave a Conversation in British English Without Sounding Rude

Right, if you're learning English

and you've ever been stuck in a conversation you didn't know how to get out of in English, this one's for you.

Picture this, you're in the work canteen, you finished your lunch about 10 minutes ago,

the person across from you is mid-story about their weekend, their kids football match, their mother-in-law's three-hour visit,

you've laughed at all the right bits, but now you need to go.

You've got emails, you've got a meeting at half one,

you've got, frankly, a million things you'd prefer to be doing than sitting here letting her chew your ear off.

And here's the moment where everything could quietly fall apart for you if you're a non-native speaker,

because in Britain we have a load of unwritten rules.

You don't say, okay that's enough chatting back to work um you don't finish your meal

and announce right i've finished my lunch so i'm going

and you definitely don't sign off with goodbye i will see

you tomorrow now none of these are wrong exactly in plenty

of cultures they're perfectly polite some would even appreciate the efficiency others might respect the directness but in britain

they land with a tiny but impactful thud.

The other person, if they're British, will smile and nod and say,

no worries, and quietly downgrade you in their mind forever.

And the worst part, you'll never know about it.

Welcome to the British English podcast.

I'm Charlie, your host, and today I'm going to give you a three-step formula for

leaving any conversation in British English without ever coming across as slightly socially awkward, robotic, memorised, or worst of all, rude.

And if you stick around till the end, I'll include a bonus tip about the one situation where you can break the formula entirely.

Right, let's get into it.

So the thing about Brits is that we are incredibly indirect, which you might well know by now,

but this particular social rule might even catch Japanese people out.

And I say that because I understand that the Japanese culture is also indirect, but different in many little ways.

So when we leave a conversation, we don't just leave.

We have to do this weird little dance.

We have to make the other person feel like we'd love to stay.

But life is cruelly pulling us away from one another.

It's a tiny piece of social theatre almost.

We're saying I enjoyed this immensely.

I wish I could carry on.

But sadly, something more important than my free will is forcing me to go.

And if you skip that dance, you sound cold, you sound abrupt, you sound, dare I say it, a bit bloody rude.

And in British cultural standards, sounding rude by accident is one of the worst things you could ever do.

Now, you might have a slightly similar necessity in your culture.

I'm not imagining that if you're Spanish, you're allowed to just passionately stand up mid conversation and run away.

Nor a German can just press their finger up against your lips because they might have a meeting to go to.

But these specific phrases we use are worth your attention

because getting them right is the difference between sounding like a textbook and sounding like an actual person.

So yes, here's the formula I've made up for you that I think works brilliantly.

Step one, the softener.

Every natural British exit starts with a little signal word,

and I'm calling it a softener because it softens the blow of you saying that you are going to leave.

It tells the other person get ready we're about to wind this conversation down

and your options for these softeners are the following we have right anyway well right then

and maybe maybe look okay right anyway well right

then look those are your five options okay that's basically it

so pick one stick it on the front of your sentence

and you're already a third of the way through your exit strategy or as I'm coining it your Brexit strategy.

It's good isn't it?

But whatever you do

and I'm serious about this do not skip this softener otherwise your exit sounds like you're slamming a door in their face.

So yeah that's step one the softener.

Already you're more acclimatized to the culture than you were 60 seconds ago.

Now, a quick thing before we carry on, there are two more steps coming up.

And once you've got all three, you'll be able to build your own exits on the fly.

Loads of different versions, all sounding completely natural, none of them sounding scripted.

So I've put together a free cheat sheet that collects every phrase from this whole lesson in one place.

The softeners you've just learned, plus everything from steps two and three, all laid out so you can mix and match and make your own.

So stick it on your phone, pull from it before your next lunch, and the whole thing will become second nature.

So to grab it, scan the QR code on screen or click the link in the description box, show notes, or comments section.

That link will take you to this page that video podcast viewers can see right now.

Fill in your name and email, and I'll be able to send it to your email inbox completely free.

So grab that now, as it will help you greatly with rest of this lesson and let's get to step two.

All right, step two, the exit.

This is the main bit, the sandwich filler, if you will.

This is where you tell them you need to go.

And here's where the magic happens.

You don't just say, I need to leave.

You give them a reason that makes you sound busy and important, but not more important than they are.

And your exit options are the following.

I'd better crack on.

I'd better dash.

I'd better make a move.

Got a meeting at half one.

Got a call in five minutes or even my favorite one.

I'll let you get on.

A quick grammar note.

I said I'd better do this.

I'd better do that.

I'd better is short for I had better, not I would better, which you might be thinking.

It's stronger than like a should, but softer than a must,

basically meaning I should do this or something bad will happen.

So when I say I'd better crack on, what I'm really saying is I should get back to work. and

if I don't something bad will happen you know maybe my

manager will moan maybe I'll miss a deadline the unspoken consequence is what gives this phrase its energy

and I also said crack on from I'd better crack on

and that's another lovely part it means to get on with work it's It's quite casual, though, and it's quite energetic at the same time.

And also, it doesn't sound self-important.

Like, you know, compare I'd better crack on to I must return to my work.

One of them sounds like a real human.

The other sounds like a robot that prioritizes their work above the other person in that conversation.

Like, oh, my work, it's all about me.

crack on doesn't have

that same focus on me it's more like I better do the job I have been told to do

and now to touch on my favorite phrase of this step two part of my three-step formula

100

which was I'll let you get on I'll let you get on this is

101

so good because instead of saying I need to leave, you flip the entire situation

102

and pretend you are doing them a favor by letting them get back to their busy day and

103

that actually reminds me of an alternative here you could say

104

I'll let you enjoy your thing you know your lunch your

105

dinner your cigarette oh well I'll let you enjoy your lunch

106

I'll let you enjoy your drink I'll let you enjoy your cigarette.

107

And that flip of generosity is so sneaky because really the message is, I don't want to be here anymore.

108

I want to leave and not listen to your endless drivel.

109

But you say, oh, my presence is just so distracting

110

that I think you'd enjoy the thing you are doing a lot more if I removed myself from the situation.

111

So yeah, please forgive my existence and let us both remove it immediately from the vicinity.

112

I love it so much because they're not busy.

113

You're the one trying to leg it, but you've made it sound like you're being generous.

114

It's so quintessentially British.

115

But yes, let's move on to the final part of our three-step formula.

116

but before we do a quick recap of steps one

117

and two so the scene you're at lunch your colleague is making you wish you hadn't sat near them

118

and you're desperate to leave um they finally pause for a breath

119

and this is your moment to hit them with all three steps

120

so you've already done step one and two

121

which is right step one i'd better crack on step two now we need to do step three OK,

122

and this is the warm bit at the end.

123

It leaves the door open for next time.

124

And I'll be honest, I've struggled with this one myself on this very podcast, because at the end of every interview I do,

125

I can't help but say thanks so much for coming on the show.

126

I'd love to get you back on here again sometime soon.

127

And often I mean it.

128

I'm very sincere about that.

129

But sometimes I really, really don't.

130

And yet there's this knee jerk reaction where the words just come spilling out of my mouth before I can stop them.

131

Now, obviously, don't copy me by saying I'd love to get you back on the show sometime soon

132

when you're in a kitchen or, you know, at a canteen.

133

it wouldn't make sense.

134

So your sign off options are catch you later,

135

catch up properly soon, see you in a bit,

136

speak soon or have a good one.

137

Have a good one.

138

Yeah.

139

And there's a golden rule that ties all of those together.

140

Being vague is better than being specific.

141

It's actually better for both of you because getting specific is a little bit confrontational.

142

It puts the other person on the spot.

143

It forces them into a yes or no. If I said, ah, this was great.

144

Let's do another episode next Thursday at 11am.

145

That's confrontational.

146

It's awkward.

147

Now they've got to either commit or wriggle out of it right there on the spot.

148

And again, I want to stress loads of cultures have these same rules.

149

It's the language barrier that this lesson is really trying to shed light on because never, never say goodbye.

150

Goodbye sounds really bloody final, like you don't like them and you're never going to see them again.

151

I mean, honestly, when do I actually use the word goodbye?

152

I say it when a cold caller rings me and they're being really annoying.

153

You know, if I pick up, say hello.

154

Can you take me off your database, please?

155

I learned that from my dad.

156

Thank you.

157

Yeah.

158

And then they keep going on.

159

Then I would be like, goodbye.

160

You know, that's that's when you say goodbye.

161

Is there another place that I would use goodbye?

162

Maybe if someone's dying.

163

Yeah.

164

Goodbye, Grandpa.

165

So no matter how boring your colleague is,

166

don't say goodbye to Steve from accounts before heading back from lunch to your desk.

167

And don't use their name either.

168

Goodbye, Steve.

169

See you another day.

170

That sounds like you're an alien on your first day on planet Earth.

171

What a poor way to spend your first day on planet Earth.

172

You know, spending it in the canteen in an IT company with Steve.

173

I mean, no offense, Steve, but the alien could do better than that, right?

174

I mean, what would they do?

175

Because they've probably got like spaceships and stuff.

176

So you wouldn't take them on a roller coaster.

177

Because they've got technology that goes at the speed of light.

178

What would be good?

179

Maybe go snorkeling?

180

What would you do?

181

What would you do?

182

Write in the comments for me.

183

Where would you take an alien on their first day on planet Earth?

184

Skiing, maybe?

185

Maybe they don't have snow?

186

It's weird that we've got ski lifts.

187

I'm not high.

188

I promise you.

189

All right, let's put all three steps together now.

190

So we've got the softener, the exit, and the sign-off.

191

The Brexit.

192

So what would it be?

193

right, I'd better crack on, catch you later.

194

Or anyway, I'll let you get on, speak soon.

195

Or well, got a meeting at half one, see you in a bit.

196

Once you've got the three part shape in your head, you can mix and match the phrases until your heart's content.

197

And that way, you'll never run out of natural exits.

198

But what about that bonus tip you mentioned at the beginning of this lesson?

199

Was that just to get 5% more of you to keep watching?

200

No, definitely not.

201

Wouldn't do that.

202

But here's the tip that I promised you, and it's actually really good.

203

Sometimes the three-part formula that I've created is way too much.

204

So if you're just passing someone in the corridor

205

or bumping into them at the tea and coffee station

206

or doing one of those quick canteen flybys where you nod

207

and say all right as you go past you don't need all three of these steps you just need the

208

so we've got the the softener the exit

209

and then this sign off you can lose the exit

210

and just do the softener and the sign off no exit reason needed

211

because there's nothing to exit from you weren't really in a

212

conversation in the first place you were just two ships passing in the night at lunch

213

so in that situation it sounds like um so someone says all right and you say yeah you Yeah, good.

214

Busy day?

215

Bit mental, to be fair.

216

You?

217

Yeah, same.

218

All right, catch you later.

219

Yeah, see you in a bit.

220

So that was just all right and see you later.

221

We didn't have the exit in there.

222

Or the other one, the response was, yeah, see you in a bit.

223

Again, we didn't need the exit reason.

224

So no excuses needed.

225

No, I'd better crack on.

226

You weren't there long enough to need to leave.

227

The trick is matching the energy of the chat.

228

So a long chat is a full formula, three-step formula, a quick passing, just bookend it with a softener and a sign-off.

229

Right, before you go, remember to grab that free cheat sheet.

230

It's got every phrase from today in one place,

231

all your softeners, exits and sign-offs laid out so you can mix and match them into your own.

232

So scan the QR code on screen

233

or click the link that's in the description download it stick it on your phone

234

and you'll have it ready next time someone traps you at

235

the lunch table right i'd better crack on catch you later see what i did there

236

but yes that's the end of this episode my name's charlie

237

host of the british english podcast hopefully see you again next week bye bye you

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: How to Leave a Conversation in British English Without Sounding Rude

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