Shadowing Practice: it really was the damn phone: i stopped scrolling and remembered who i was - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
A few days ago I checked my screen time and did the math.
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At four hours a day by the end of this year
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I'll have spent the equivalent of 61 full days looking at a screen.
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Over the next 10 years that becomes almost a year
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and eight months and if I'm lucky enough to live until around 85
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and nothing changes I could spend almost 10 years of my remaining life this way.
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Years.
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Whole pieces of my life that I'll never get back disappearing so gradually that most days I don't even notice they're gone.
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But somehow that still isn't the part that scares me most because time isn't the only thing we're giving away.
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What scares me is what's filling it.
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Every day I absorb hundreds of other people's faces, thoughts, opinions, desires, homes, relationships, bodies, fears, tastes.
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Before I have time to wonder what I think, there's already something else to think about.
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Before I know what I want, I've been shown a thousand things I could want.
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And somewhere inside all of that noise, I think something very quiet happens.
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You can stop noticing what came from you, what you actually like, what you would have thought about if nobody interrupted the thought,
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what you might have made if you hadn't spent the evening watching other people make things, and who you are when all of that noise finally goes quiet.
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We talk a lot about social media stealing our attention, but I'm starting to wonder if it's taking something much harder to get back, the space in which we become ourselves.
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Chapter one, who are you without the noise?
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There's a genre of social media content that makes me irrationally annoyed.
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It's the, I heard we're not wearing this anymore.
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This aesthetic is over.
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This is what we're wearing now.
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Or like my personal favorite recently, I heard we're dressing like our Venus signs.
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Obviously, trends have always existed.
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People have always influenced each other.
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Before TikTok, there were magazines and television.
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And before any of that, there were simply the people around you.
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None of us develops our taste in complete isolation.
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But I think what's changed is the magnitude of the influence
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and how little space now exists between one influence and the next.
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You used to close the magazine.
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The program ended, you walked home from school, you stared out the car window, you laid in bed.
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There were gaps and inside those gaps eventually there was you.
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Now there really doesn't have to be.
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Every empty second can be filled by another person's opinion, another recommendation, another version of what a beautiful or successful or interesting life is supposed to look like.
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Before you even get the chance to decide what you like, you can be told what everyone else likes.
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Not just what clothes are fashionable but What kind of home is beautiful?
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What kind of relationship is healthy?
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What kind of person you should become?
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Sometimes I wonder what I'd actually choose if nobody had shown me any of it.
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Like what would I wear?
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What would I find beautiful?
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What would I care about?
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What would I want?
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And maybe one of the more uncomfortable questions, at what point does the algorithm stop predicting our taste and start creating it?
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There's a difference between being influenced by the world and never having enough silence to actually hear your own response to it.
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I think we've become incredibly good at collecting references for who we might want to be
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and increasingly bad at sitting quietly enough to discover who we already are.
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Chapter 2.
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A lifespan watching other people live.
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There's another contradiction that's been bothering me.
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Never before have we had access to this many ideas or this many possible ways of living.
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Before breakfast, I can watch someone move abroad, paint a picture, start a business, renovate a house, or completely begin their life again.
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And somehow, instead of making us endlessly creative, I think sometimes it does the opposite.
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There's a strange way that watching something can begin to feel like doing something.
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You save the recipe instead of cooking it.
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You watch someone paint instead of taking out your own paints.
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You collect ideas for the life you want until the collection itself starts to feel like progress.
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You consume the feeling of possibility, and for a moment, it almost feels like you participated in it.
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Meanwhile, if you pull the camera far enough, you've just been laying in bed for the past three hours.
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Your thumb moved, your life didn't.
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And obviously I don't say that from some superior position because I do it too.
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I've watched people create things while ignoring my own urge to create something.
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I've watched people read books instead of actually reading a book.
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I felt inspired by watching someone else's life and then somehow been too overwhelmed to do anything with that inspiration.
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And that might actually be one of the strangest costs of all.
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We've never seen so much life, but seeing life and living it is not the same thing.
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There's a particular kind of sadness in having the urge to paint and deciding that painting sounds like too much effort.
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Painting asks something of you.
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You have to get everything out, make a mess, possibly be bad at it, and stay there when you don't immediately know what to do next.
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Scrolling asks almost nothing.
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And once your brain gets used to receiving something new every few seconds, ordinary life starts asking for an uncomfortable amount of patience.
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A book takes time before it becomes interesting, a hobby takes time before you become good at it, and creating something means spending long stretches of time with nothing but your own thoughts.
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Maybe that's why it's possible to feel endlessly inspired and somehow create very little.
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Chapter 3.
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Everything becomes noise.
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Even advice annoys me these days, which is odd because I used to love that side of the internet.
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I built a career talking about ideas that helped me and things I've learned about life.
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But I think something happens when every meaningful thought exists in exactly the same stream as everything else.
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Someone tells you about the most important thing they've learned after losing someone they loved.
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Second later, you're watching a man fall over, then somebody's crying, then an ad, then something horrific happening somewhere in the world, and then an outfit you might want to buy.
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The content is completely different, but the experience of receiving it is exactly the same.
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Watch, react, move on.
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There's barely enough time for anything to land before it's replaced.
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A thought doesn't have time to become another thought.
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Sadness doesn't have time to become reflection.
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Inspiration doesn't have time to become action.
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And after a while, I think some part of you starts protecting itself by caring less.
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I've caught myself thinking I've seen it all.
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Not literally, of course.
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The world is enormous.
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There are people I haven't met, books I haven't read, places I haven't stood in, and parts of myself I haven't discovered.
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But sometimes the internet creates this strange feeling that nothing is really new anymore.
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You've seen so many beautiful things that one more beautiful thing barely registers.
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So many transformations that another before and after means almost nothing.
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So many supposedly life-changing ideas that even something genuinely profound can begin to sound like content.
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And I don't want to become so accustomed to seeing everything that nothing really reaches me anymore.
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Chapter 4.
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What happened to boredom?
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Somewhere along the way, boredom became an emergency.
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Waiting for coffee, standing in a queue, arriving somewhere 5 minutes early.
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Those moments now seem to require something to fill them.
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We've created a way to escape almost every moment in which absolutely nothing is happening.
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and for a long time I thought that was convenient.
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But now I'm starting to wonder if those moments were actually incredibly necessary.
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Because when there's nothing to consume, your mind starts wandering.
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A memory resurfaces, one thought connects to another, you realize why something has been bothering you,
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you get an idea that seems pointless at first and then 10 minutes later becomes something you want to make.
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Maybe boredom was never empty.
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Maybe it was simply space.
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Space for an inner life to stretch out.
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space for creativity, space for thoughts that weren't immediately interrupted by somebody else's.
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Maybe boredom was one of the places where we met ourselves and we filled it.
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This is what worries me more than losing the hours themselves.
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We're also losing the little unclaimed moments that used to belong entirely to our own minds.
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A quiet breakfast, a train ride, a walk home.
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Those moments seem insignificant, but when you remove enough of them, where exactly are you supposed to hear yourself think?
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Chapter 5.
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The disappearance of the private self.
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There's another change happening that's even harder to notice.
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We're becoming very accustomed to seeing ourselves from the outside.
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There can be this imaginary audience hovering in the background of your life even when you have no intention of posting anything.
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You notice whether an outfit feels current, whether your home fits the aesthetic you thought you wanted, whether an experience would make a good photo,
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or whether your life looks like the life of someone who has it together.
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And I think humans need parts of themselves that nobody's watching.
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You need things you're bad at and never turn into anything, interests that make no sense with the rest of your personality, mornings nobody photographs or beautiful days that produce no evidence.
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You need privacy to become someone.
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Because if you constantly experience yourself through the imagined eyes of other people, eventually you can start curating yourself before you even know what you actually feel.
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I don't want my whole life to become a performance of myself.
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I want there to be a version of me that only I know.
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Chapter six, but I need it for work.
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This is usually the point where I start bargaining with myself.
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I need social media for work and I genuinely do.
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It helps me to stay connected to people.
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It gives me ideas.
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It makes me laugh.
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Sometimes it even teaches me something that genuinely changes the way I think.
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I don't believe any of those things are fake excuses.
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I think the problem is that something can be useful but still take more from you than you intended to give it.
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I tell myself that I use social media to stay connected
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but there are friends whose lives I've watched through Instagram for months without actually calling them.
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I tell myself that I use it for inspiration
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but at some point I have to ask how much inspiration I need before I make something
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and it's for work is especially convenient when something begins as work
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and ends 45 minutes later with me knowing way too much about a morning routine of a woman I've never met.
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There's also a difference between consciously deciding I want to spend the next hour doing this
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because it's fun and looking up after an hour realizing it disappeared.
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I don't think the answer is pretending social media has no value.
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I have a life because of the internet that I could have never imagined.
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I've met people through it, learned from it, and built things because of it.
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I don't want to throw all of that away, but I don't want the thing that connects me to the world to disconnect me from myself.
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Chapter 7.
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What's all this replacing?
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That's the question I keep coming back to.
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Not just how much time am I spending here, but what is it replacing?
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Because time is never just time.
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An hour spent scrolling is also an hour in which something else didn't happen.
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And maybe I wouldn't have done anything extraordinary with it.
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Maybe I wouldn't have written a novel or done anything productive at all.
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Maybe I would have read while it rained outside, made tea and actually tasted it, sat in the grass with someone I love,
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walked slowly enough to notice someone playing music on the street.
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Maybe I would have done absolutely nothing.
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I think that matters too.
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Because a life is mostly made of things that sound insignificant when you describe them afterwards.
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making coffee, choosing what to wear, walking somewhere, eating dinner, looking out a window, talking to someone you love.
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The major events become the landmarks when we tell the story of our lives, but most of the actual living happens between them.
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And if we're not careful, we can become so obsessed with being entertained during the in-between that eventually we lose the in-between itself.
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Then one day the years have passed and I wonder what remains.
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If I live until 85 and spend years of that life looking at a screen, what exactly am I going to remember from those years?
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Probably not the reel that made me laugh on a Tuesday
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or the stranger whose life I watched religiously and then completely forgot existed.
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And yet those things will have taken real hours from a very finite life.
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That's the part that scares me.
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Not because every second needs to be meaningful or productive.
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In fact, I want the opposite.
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I want lazy mornings and stupid conversations and afternoons where absolutely nothing happened.
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I just want to actually be there for them.
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Chapter 8.
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Coming home to yourself.
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There's a million solutions now.
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You can delete apps, you can set time limits, you can buy something that physically blocks you from opening them
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and I think all of those things can help but they can only stop you from reaching for something.
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They can't tell you what to return to and I think that part actually matters a lot more.
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So maybe the goal isn't simply to spend less time online.
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Maybe the goal is to actually remember what it feels like to be you
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when no one is telling you who to be.
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What do you naturally move towards when no one's watching?
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What do you like before you know whether other people think it's tasteful?
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Who makes you forget that your phone exists?
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And most importantly, when do you feel most like yourself?
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For me, coming back to myself looks incredibly ordinary.
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It's reading on a rainy afternoon, getting completely lost in something I'm creating, writing until some loose thought I've been carrying around finally makes sense,
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making tea without needing to fill the two minutes while it steeps, talking to the stranger beside me, hearing music somewhere and actually stopping to listen.
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It's less about constructing a better life and more about being present for the one that's already happening.
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And that's what gives me hope about all of this.
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Because as frightening as it can feel to realize how much of ourselves we can lose in the noise, coming back is actually incredibly simple.
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You don't need to reinvent yourself.
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You don't need to discover some hidden perfectly authentic version of
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you buried underneath the algorithm You just need to create enough
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room to hear yourself again Enough room to follow a thought
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before somebody else's interrupts it To become curious about something before
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you know whether anyone else finds it interesting To make something
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without immediately wondering whether it's good to sit in an ordinary moment long enough for it to become your life
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Because maybe we haven't lost ourselves.
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Maybe we've just stopped being alone with ourselves long enough to remember who is there.
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And I don't want to reach the end of my life and realize that I spent it watching everyone else live theirs.
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I want to know what it feels like to live mine.
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I want to keep coming back to myself, and I never want to forget her.
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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları
Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 208 cümle ve 2657 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 13:15 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 200 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %86’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.
Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler
Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| inspiration isim | /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/ | ilham |
| ordinary sıfat | /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/ | sıradan, olağan |
| scare fiil | /skɛɚ/ | korkutmak |
| interrupt fiil | /ˌɪntəˈɹʌpt/ | kesilmek, kesmek |
| gap isim | /ɡæp/ | ara |
| bother fiil | /ˈbɑðɚ/ | rahatsız etmek, canını sıkmak |
| discover fiil | /dɪˈskʌvə/ | keşfetmek |
| collect fiil | /ˈkɑlɪkt/ | katılmak, toplamak |
| stretch fiil | /stɹɛt͡ʃ/ | germek, çekmek |
| productive sıfat | /pɹəˈdʌk.tɪv/ | üretken |
| uncomfortable sıfat | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | rahatsız |
| convenient sıfat | /kənˈviː.niənt/ | elverişli, kullanışlı |
| meaningful sıfat | /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ | anlamlı, manalı |
| urge fiil | /ɜːd͡ʒ/ | ittirmek |
| disappear fiil | /dɪsəˈpɪɹ/ | gözden kaybolmak, yok olmak |
Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller
| Kelime | Telaffuz | Anlam |
|---|---|---|
| look up fiil | /ˌlʊk ˈʌp/ | yukarı bakmak |
| take out fiil | çıkarmak |
Bu videodaki dil bilgisi
Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:
| Yapı | Videoda |
|---|---|
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — önceden başlayıp hâlâ süren bir eylem | that's been bothering · you've just been laying · has been bothering |
| “Used to” used to + fiil — artık geçerli olmayan eski bir alışkanlık ya da durum | used to close · used to love · used to belong |
| Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem | I've been shown · have always existed · have always influenced |
| Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli | I've been shown · can be filled · can be told |
Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar
Konuşmacı don't, I've, we're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 65 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.
- “th” sesleri: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, aesthetic /ɛsˈθɛ.tɪk/, algorithm /ˈælɡəɹɪðm̩/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, underneath /ˌʌndɚˈniθ/
- “sh” ve “zh” sesleri: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, intention /ɪnˈtɛnʃn̩/, transformation /ˌtɹæns.fɔɹˈmeɪ.ʃən/, patience /ˈpeɪ̯.ʃəns/, genre /ˈ(d)ʒɑnɹə/
- Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: inspiration /ˌɪn.spɪˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, ordinary /ˈɔɹdɪnɛɹi/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/
Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır
- Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
- 0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
- Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; inspiration, ordinary, scare gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.
Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?
Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.