Shadowing Practice: Slowing Down & Regulating Your Nervous System Makes You PRETTY - Learn English Speaking with Video

hello my loves

and welcome back to my channel in this heat wave i don't know what's happening right now

but i feel like i'm in dubai

but i'm actually in germany right now is 37 degrees celsius

i'm not enjoying it i don't know how i'm surviving it

i am taking cold showers every 30 minutes to one hour

and i am constantly with the ventilator towards me i hope i don't get sick really

and it's so bad

because in german apartments you almost don't have an ac like have they heard of ac only people

that they own their own apartments have ac let's start with our video

so the funny thing is that

when you're stressed everybody around you tells you put your phone down light a candle take a bath

and i'm here to tell you

that this doesn't work okay it may help for a little bit

but because the problem is your nervous system

and your nervous system doesn't know the difference between a threat

or a deadline at work and your nervous system loves patterns

so one small thing like taking a bath is not going to help you

so instead of taking a bath

or lightening a candle is better to work on the overall mindset about slowing down

so in my opinion slowing down comes from the realization that you have nowhere to rush to.

Your nine to five job doesn't pay you more

if you overwork above your hours that they are paying you for or if you finish a project earlier.

I had a realization several years ago when I was constantly waiting for something to happen.

Do you know how you're waiting to go on a holiday

or you have planned a restaurant

or you have planned to buy something for example next week

and you cannot wait for this thing to happen

and you're constantly rushing yourself and keeping yourself busy

so the time can actually pass faster but i realized that

when this plant thing comes it's not funny anymore it comes it passes

and you're back in your day-to-day life waiting for something else to happen again for another stimulation

so i realized that waiting

and just standing still without waiting for the next dopamine hit

is what made me not rush anymore seeing how the people i love are aging

and getting older makes me want to slow down on purpose

and just stand still and enjoy what's happening around me as well i think

that people rush because they don't have anything to slow down for like a person they love

or even an animal or a hobby or a business they don't have something

that they truly love and want to enjoy to slow down for rushing through things

and things happening faster makes me very nervous

and doesn't allow me to slow down

and i started saying to myself with all the new projects

i start with all the new works i start i am

not going to set a deadline i'm moving at my own peace i'm not going to stress myself

and things are happening in actually fast to normal pace again

and they're happening way better and i'm way more productive

because i'm not stressing with deadlines for example

if something doesn't go my way i'm not stressing because i know

that i haven't put the deadlines

and i can allow myself to slow down a little bit

because whatever you cannot finish ourselves today like a task

or a problem is going to be there the next day i realized

that with finishing one task comes another task and another task

and another and you're never going to be free

so you decide the pace

that you're doing those tasks with you're always going to have

something to do you are just deciding in what state

and how fast you want to do it i mean the funny part is

that whether you rush

or slow down you're always going to end up where you're meant to be

and the only difference is the state you're arriving which is regulated

or burned in this state also determines your productivity

and capacity i have a very good friend of mine

and she's always unbothered always late for everything

which at the same time made me angry

but at the same time made me admire her because she was

so unbothered and she told me one day you know people

that are always slow and not rushing for anything are going to live longer

and this just sticked with me and from then i started slowing down

and to the all the people that i love to my mom

that is overdoing herself at work i'm always saying

if you want to live longer don't be an egoist you need to live longer for your kids you know

so you need to slow down and not overdo yourself from this time

that told me this of course there were ups

and downs into becoming unbothered now i'm so unbothered

that the only thing that i'm thinking about is my happiness

and the happiness of the people i love

and i think is the best state you can be in the best state you can live in

and also because my grandma always said to me

that every problem is fixable or changeable so you can always fix something

or you can just say and just move on you know

and she always said that the most important thing in this life is your happiness

and to be happy so

because of this those two situations i started asking myself every

day before i do anything is this going to make me

happy right now is this going to make me happy in the future

or is this going to make me feel bad

and i felt it in my stomach and i just stopped doing the things

that i don't like or meeting the people that i don't like just situations that make me feel like bad, like not feeling good, you know. Of course,

there's the difference between getting out of your comfort zone like

think feeling not in place for example before going on a

stage to speak this is not feeling bad this is some kind of an excitement

that is going to make you happy in the future

because you're doing this for your future

and since i started asking myself those things i'm just the happiest really i just stopped doing things

that don't make me feel good

and this cleared the energy in my life so much

that this allows me to be unbothered because I know

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that I have a choice in this life to choose what I want to do

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and why should I choose something that doesn't make me feel good right now

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or feel good in the future you have a choice with everything some choices are scary to make

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but everything in this life is choices a choice now determines

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your future you can always change your life depending on the choices you make even

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if you made a bad choice now with another choice you can go in a better direction

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so be careful what choices you make

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and always ask yourself does this make me happy right now

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or is it going to make me happy in the future

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because for example right now studying a lot may not make you feel good right now

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but it's going to make you feel good in the future

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because this is for your future the other problem is

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that we can never slow down because we are constantly overstimulated

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and we're never alone never alone here because

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if you think about it your phone is in your hands the second you wake up

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and i put myself in this group that always a podcast

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or a tv show is on the background doesn't matter

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if you're doing cloundry it doesn't matter if you're cooking doesn't matter

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if you're walking you always have music you always have podcasts

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just for the sake not negative thoughts to enter your brain

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but actually you're not doing yourself a favor because negative thoughts

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and working on those thoughts is way better than suppressing them

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the other thing notifications all day washing coffee every day scrolling

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while eating you're literally never alone in whatever you do you

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always have people around you you always have your social media around you you always have something to talk

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and that doesn't leave you alone with your precious thoughts

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because trust me once i stopped doing this

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because i was constantly cooking friends how i met your mother modern family always

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when walking or doing something podcast for the sake of productivity

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and multitasking and I was in a creative hole back then

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and once I stopped putting constant noise in my head everything cleared

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and I'm the most creative I have been since ever

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and I was constantly feeling bad that I was going out on a walk

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and I was not putting a podcast to increase my knowledge for example for the sake of productivity you know

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but being with your own thoughts is going to do way more for your productivity

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and creativity and the problem is

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when i was doing all of these podcasts tv shows everything

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on the background constantly talking on the phone i catch myself

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that i'm sitting on the couch i'm even watching a movie

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i cannot sit in one place i was constantly doing this this is a sign of unregulated nervous system

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and once i stopped the whole noise from behind i stopped doing it now i can really stay still

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and just relax myself and i think the problem is

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that society has put it on us that rest is laziness

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and that you should always be multitasking and being productive

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when i think the most productive thing you can do is actually rest

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and recharge yourself and be with your own thoughts

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so you can be more productive the next time you need to be productive from removing all the noise

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and being with my thoughts is how i found my identity and style

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and what i love to do is every week one hour

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i sit on the desk with a piece of paper with

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a pencil no phones no screens i'm staring from the window

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and i am just putting my thoughts

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and my ideas doesn't matter how much they are i put them in an unorganized way

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and then I boost my creativity like this and I've gotten

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so many great ideas by doing this that I would have never thought about

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if I was with a constant noise because

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if you think about it once you don't have any distractions

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and once you start thinking every idea every thought is like

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a chain reaction one idea second idea third idea amazing idea

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this is it you cannot be creative and you cannot be productive

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if you don't slow down and

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if you don't cut the noise around you i think i upped a lot

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and i lost myself from the bullet points i have prepared

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so let me actually explain what the nervous system is your

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nervous system runs on two main modes you have sympathetic

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which is alert mobilized ready to act and you have parasympathetic

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which is settled able to rest and actually absorbing what's happening around you

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and most people from what i explained due to never being alone having a constant noise and overstimulation

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live in a sympathetic mode and this is

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because constant notifications constant deadlines constant comparison

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and constant stimulation keep you in a low grade alertness also

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putting my phone on a costume do not disturb helped me a lot

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because every notification just sparked something in me So how I do it is just to costume,

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do not disturb and I put the most important people that call me like my mom, my father, my boyfriend, my brother, my grandma, my grandpa.

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And I exclude all the notification from apps like Instagram, TikTok, even my email and everything.

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Just my family can call me and those are the only notifications that I see.

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And this helped me heal my nervous system so much because every time that the notification came, I was getting my phone and I was distracting myself

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and just dumb scrolling because I got my phone

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and I forgot what I was doing and I have ADHD so this helped me a lot really.

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Every time that a notification came just a little dopamine hit little dopamine hit

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and i constantly needed this

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and i was constantly getting my phone it was just a hell

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and i think that this is going to help you

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so much because notifications are some kind of a stress

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so i want you to slow down on purpose and catch yourself

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when you rush what i mean by that is for example

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when you cook and you feel

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that your jaw is clenched like just on purpose unclench it or

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when your shoulders like you have tension on your shoulders like

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you're ready to fight you know a little bit relaxation every time

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i want you to ask yourself in what state i am right now

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and i want you to catch yourself when you're in a state like this

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and just relax your shoulders and catch your jaw

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and i was like this every time

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that i was doing something i was after starting catching myself

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one two three months after this not being in a stress mode like with my shoulders

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or my twitch jaw then this became my normal of course you're not going to catch every time yourself

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but it's like building a habit and

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if you do it every day your nervous system is going to recognize this

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and start regulating because as i said

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that the nervous system loves patterns i want you to do something every day

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that makes you feel calm

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and on purpose for 10 minutes a day not do anything

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stay on the couch stare at the wall don't do anything on purpose every day

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because your nervous system loves patterns

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and this is some kind of a pattern building a pattern

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and your nervous system as i said is going to react on it is going to recognize it

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and it's going to start regulating itself also several small things

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help regulate the nervous system on top of what we just talked right now

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so the first one is slow exhale breathing so four seconds in eight seconds out like this

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and this practice is one of the only ways to directly access your vagus nerve

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and stimulate colonists natural light right after when you wake up doesn't matter

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if the weather is bad and there is no sun it's still daylight

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and this heals the cortisol natural rhythm which helps with how wired

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and tired you are during the day

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or at night multitasking is also keeping your nervous system in a low grade alertness

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because you're constantly switching priorities this is what we talked about earlier

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so make sure that you're doing one thing at a time especially

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when you're eating you're just eating not scrolling

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when you're walking you're just walking not listening to a podcast

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and trying to be productive i also want you to have boring time on purpose which means unstructured, unstimulating time.

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For example, walking without podcasts, driving without music, folding laundry without TV show in the background.

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I started doing this and I cannot express how much those boring things help me really.

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Remember that also emotional eating comes from overstimulations like this.

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And the dopamine part took me a little bit longer to realize because when I was scheduling like boring time, like not doing anything actually to rest,

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I was constantly grabbing my phone because standing still started to feel uncomfortable and like always something needed to happen.

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That's why I think those things like lightening a candle

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or taking a bath are not really working because you're trying to relax

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but your brain is still searching for the next small hit.

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Even your relaxing turns in another form of searching for something to happen what i noticed was

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that the more small dopamine hits i was giving myself during

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the day like checking my phones crawling whatever the less i

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felt comfortable with doing slow things like for example a walk without anything felt boring reading even reading felt boring

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and just quietness and being calm felt really really annoying

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and i think many people treat overstimulation and rushing like two separate problems

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but for me they're the same thing i was rushing through my actual life

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so i wouldn't have to sit in the boredom of it

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and i was reading from my phone for the exact same reason both of

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which were just me avoiding to stay still

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so the whole mindset shift was never really about managing my time better it was about becoming someone

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that can actually sit in the quiet without the need to constantly do something

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and to feel the silence with noise now

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when i catch myself reaching for my phone just

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because i don't stop myself always i just notice it

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because noticing it is honestly most of the work it's like

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when you're overreaching you notice the mistake you don't push yourself you just notice the mistake

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and it makes the next decision easier

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because you cannot really change something without seeing yourself doing it

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and those things really take time so don't blame yourself

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when it doesn't happen from the first time just like removing a bad habit

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and building a new one and for me romanticizing life was never about lightening a candle

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or doing a bath even though i do love a candle

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and a bath it was about paying attention to the things

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that were happening in my day-to-day life that i was just not noticing

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because i was rushing through them like for example cooking very fast breakfast plopping it on the plate

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and just eating it very fast now what do i do

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is i actually enjoy cooking i slow down on purpose i

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don't plop the food on my plate i I actually played it very pretty, very beautiful.

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And I actually enjoy eating it.

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I actually slow down and taste the food.

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This is what romanticizing and living a soft life is for me.

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Like just noticing the beauty in everything.

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And being pure and excited about things like a kid.

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You know, for example, I was having quokes.

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And I was not noticing anything around me.

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and now I get excited about how beautiful are trees.

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Just now on my walk seeing the trees, the buildings, the beautiful architecture, the people and just enjoying the beauty in everything.

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It's so important when you're walking for example to actually notice the things around you, the nature, whatever you have around you.

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I feel that this is time lost because instead of enjoying your life and what's happening around you right now, you're again rushing to get from one place to another

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and talking about not having a podcast or a tv show

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when walking or when cooking or

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when folding the laundry of course you can put music let's say not

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because a podcast is bad but

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because some moments are allowed just to be a feeling instead

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of information i started treating small things like something special instead

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of constantly waiting for something big to happen to feel special things like for example setting the table even

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if it was just me just plating and decorating nice table, doing pancakes, putting fruits around.

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Even if it was just me, it made me feel good and special.

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Or for example, you're having an expensive dress or expensive perfume.

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Wearing it even on normal days makes those normal days feel

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special instead for waiting for something special to happen like a special dinner

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or expensive restaurant or an event to wear those things.

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it's like starting to actually live in your day-to-day normal days

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instead of waiting to start living in those big special moments it's like turning your everyday life into something special

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because you don't need big things to happen like vacation

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or a special event

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or as i said expensive restaurant to make you feel alive

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buying also the flowers for yourself instead of waiting for somebody

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to make your apartment beautiful with flowers you're signaling to yourself

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that you're special you're signaling safe you're signaling

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that you're taking care of yourself don't wait for somebody to make you feel special make yourself feel special

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because you are and none of this

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that i said takes a lot of time

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or money it's really just deciding

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that your actual life your boring day-to-day life is allowed to feel nice

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while you're living it instead of being like a waiting room for waiting for something big to happen.

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You're deciding if your day-to-day life is a waiting room or it's something nice to be living in.

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And I think this is where slowing down and romanticizing actually meet.

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Because you cannot romanticize a life you're rushing through

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and that's why nothing feels like enough because you're constantly rushing through things without noticing them.

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You can't notice the beauty around you

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if you're already thinking about the next thing that is going to happen

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so the soft life isn't a separate practice from the nervous

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system where it's actually a reward of it once you're regulated

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enough to be present the noticing happens on its own without forcing it i also think

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that being soft with yourself is part of this not in a self-help forgive yourself everything way

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but more like you're allowed to slow down

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and you're allowed to get the slow way to home you're

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allowed to make your bed nicely even though nobody sees it

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and honestly doing things nice without an audience

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or for an audience is the most regulating thing I have found

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because this is a proof to yourself

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that you're actually not performing your life for other people

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but you're actually living in it so if I need to put everything

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that we just talked about in one sentence it would be

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that slowing down was never really about having less to do it was about deciding

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that I have nowhere to rush to and

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that I will arrive either way I just need to decide if I want to arrive regulated or burned.

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I think people make this so complicated

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when in reality it's just small things repeated every day until your nervous system stops bracing.

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Removing the noise, letting things be boring for a bit, noticing the tree or the building on your walk instead of just rushing to go where you're going,

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and setting the table and plating your food nice even if it's just you.

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None of this happened to me overnight and sometimes I still catch myself

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just grabbing my phone just because for no reason

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but i catch it faster now

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and this is actually the practice just catching those things a little bit faster

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so they don't become a bad habit again

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and you actually have those things under control and they don't control you

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so this week

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or next week i want you to pick only one thing

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from this video i don't want you to pick all of them just one

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if it's going to be a boring walk no fun in the morning

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or the slow breakfast whatever you really like just one thing pick it

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and do it for one week just do this one thing on purpose every day for a week

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and see what happens and as always let me know in the comments what you picked

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if you need some kind of a help i'm always here i'm always reading your comments

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and i'm so thankful for you being here and for all the support

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and for creating such an amazing and positive community

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that makes the internet safe place for each other and for me

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so i cannot be thankful enough for what you're doing

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and for being so kind and good and for really showing me

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and showing other people that the world can be a good place

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so keep being good person keep spreading kindness keep shining

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because you're really motivating the people to be better i love you i kiss you and until next time

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Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?