跟读练习: Confused Teacher Crashes Out Over His Job | Mitchell and Webb Are Not Helping | Channel 4 Comedy - 通过视频学习英语口语
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Knock, knock.
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You got a minute, Ken?
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Of course, Headmaster, but I've got a lesson in half an hour where I expect we'll be doing fractions again.
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Yeah, you see, this is what I wanted to talk to you about.
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I tried telling them last year, you know, find the lowest common denominator.
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But just when you think you're getting somewhere, they go off for the summer, come back and it's like you're talking Hungarian.
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Yeah, I think I can see the problem here.
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Highest common factor.
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What's that, sir?
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Stop screaming that we've been over and over and over this, sir.
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We're getting frightened.
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I mean, where do they go on holiday?
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To a memory-wiping clinic?
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No. Are there such things?
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Because I'd give that a go.
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Nice place in Switzerland, view of the lake.
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And then you see it as if for the first time every day.
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Oh dear, I'm still getting a tiny tingle of trauma.
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Stick me back in the machine.
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Ken.
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We went to Spain.
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It was shit.
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They're different children.
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Yeah, it's like they're different children.
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No, they are different children.
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Every school year, every July, you finish teaching one group of children, and then the following September, a different group of children arrive who,
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crucially, and I need you to concentrate on this, don't know what you just spent the last year teaching to some completely different people.
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What are you talking about?
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I can't think of another way of saying it.
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They're different children.
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What, the ones who sit here?
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The small, noisy, stupid people who don't know anything?
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Yeah, they're eight years old, Ken.
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They must be older than that.
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They've been here years.
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No, they haven't.
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Yes, they have.
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They're always there.
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Smelly, mal-coordinated, easily distracted, freak out about wasps.
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They're different ones. But.. but this means...
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What?
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That's not fair.
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That's like every year I paint a mountain, turn my back for six weeks, And you've unpainted, you've covered it in shit, mountains wrong.
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I've built a cathedral and you...
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I know what you're getting at.
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I was given to understand at teacher training college that I would teach children maths.
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I would teach them and then they would be taught.
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But now you're telling me that however many children I teach maths to, you'll find some more who don't know maths and make me teach them knowing that as soon as they get it,
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they too will be gone and I'll be back to square one with some other bunch of little shits.
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I would never have agreed to that.
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It's very much the job, Ken.
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The job is for me to carry on teaching children fractions until I've taught all the children in the world, or I die, whichever happens first.
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How could you begin to pay me enough for such a feat of Sisyphean futility?
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This is very much why I became a head teacher.
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I just do the admin now.
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