跟读练习: Ep #473: Tolerance - 通过YouTube学习英语口语
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You're listening to the Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 473.
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You're listening to the Life Coach School podcast with Brooke Castillo, episode number 473.
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Welcome to the Life Coach School podcast,
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where it's all about real clients,
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real problems, and real coaching.
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And now your host, Master Coach Instructor, Brooke Castillo.
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Hey, beautiful friends.
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I'm excited about this topic today.
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Every once in a while,
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I have like a personal question that I'm living with for my own life.
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And I go back and forth in conversations with myself,
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trying to understand what my own answers are to the question.
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So I love a question that I don't yet know the answer to.
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I'm like, huh, it really makes me think about my life
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and who I am and who I choose to be and my identity and my personality.
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And one of the things I have been tossing around in my head is the kind of person
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that I am and who I've always been and enjoyed
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and whether or not I kind of want to change that part about myself.
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And it has to do with tolerance and having a high level of tolerance and a low level of tolerance for things.
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And I've been thinking about the idea of tolerance kind of philosophically in a way that makes me go, huh?
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Because typically, I think in a lot of ways,
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people with a high tolerance level are just more chill.
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They're just more easygoing.
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They're just like not bothered by things.
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And in many ways, I think it's easier for them to be kind.
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It's easy for them to be non-reactive.
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It's easy for them to get along with people if you have a high level of tolerance.
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But I also think
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that a high level of tolerance will allow unacceptable behavior from people around us that could actually be harmful,
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that could put us in situations with other people
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that maybe we shouldn't be in because it's not the best environment for us.
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And so how do we balance between being tolerant of bad behavior,
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being tolerant of people being rude,
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being tolerant of people expressing their ideas with aggression or with,
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I don't know, racism, with belligerence, that sort of thing.
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Should we be tolerant of those things or not?
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And what things should we be tolerant of and what things we shouldn't, right?
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It's a pretty big question and applies to a lot of different things in our lives.
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And in many ways, I've been thinking about it in terms of demanding excellence
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and demanding the best performance from my employees or the people around me,
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or just being, you know, it's no big deal.
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So I can give you some examples for my own life
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and things that I have been like seriously questioning whether I should be more tolerant and more chill,
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or whether I should be hardcore,
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intense, and have a low tolerance for these things.
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And one of the reasons why I think I grapple with this question
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so much is I think I've been around people whom are very tolerant of things not being great,
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of things not being excellent,
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of things not being even like working well in their lives,
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and just kind of, it doesn't really matter.
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And when I look at that,
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I feel like there's a tolerance for mediocrity.
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There's a tolerance for kind of this low grade dissatisfaction.
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And I actually think it's riding the edge of one side of kind of danger,
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if we're going to use kind of an intense word,
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versus the other side where people have no tolerance for anything
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that isn't exactly the way they want it and they lose their mind
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when any little thing happens to go quote unquote wrong.
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And how do we find and ride the balance in the middle of that where we're tolerant of the person,
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but not of the behavior or not of the situation?
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Because I kind of play around with this a little bit in my own life where I maybe with an employee,
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I'll be like, oh, it's no big deal.
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Oh, it's no big deal,
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oh, it's no big deal,
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and then it just keeps happening.
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Versus when someone makes a small mistake and I say to them,
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listen, this isn't going to be okay.
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You can't be making mistakes like this ever.
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Like this is not acceptable as someone who works for me doing this sort of thing.
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And then it never happens again,
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even though it's kind of like a very low level of tolerance for mistakes,
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I think creates a much higher level of excellence.
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But this low level of tolerance creates an environment that's very different than a high level of tolerance.
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A high level of tolerance creates a very relaxed employee who feels much more comfortable,
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probably more at ease, probably more enjoyment in terms of everyday functioning.
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Whereas if I am treating an employee with a very low level of tolerance in a kind way,
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but in a strict way,
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like this can't happen, I feel like they may be more on edge,
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more nervous, less comfortable around me,
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but also achieving at a higher level,
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which brings a level of enjoyment.
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And
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that is what I have heard from many of my employees
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who work at a higher level than they've ever been asked to work at before.
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And that brings them another different type of comfort and joy.
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And I see this in my own life with being around people who are more demanding and less tolerant of nonsense,
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of things that don't work,
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or of maybe high expectation teachers,
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high expectation authority figures in our lives.
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And so I was having this conversation with my partner the other day,
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and we were talking about,
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should I be more tolerant of things that aren't working?
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And should I be more tolerant of losing at things?
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Would that serve me better?
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Or should I remain less tolerant of those things and demand excellence of myself and of other people?
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And here's the truth.
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There is no right answer.
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And I don't think one brings me or anyone a deeper level of happiness.
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It's a trade-off, right?
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So for example, in my home, everything works.
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There's nothing that you're gonna try and do.
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There's no button you're gonna try and press
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or piece of equipment you wanna turn on or use or whatever that doesn't work.
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Everything works.
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I have a low level of tolerance for any kind of clutter,
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any kind of item in my house that isn't actually functioning the way it's meant to be functioning.
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To me, that is very important.
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I have been to tons of friends' homes,
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acquaintances' homes that have a myriad of things in the home that are broken,
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that don't work, that half work,
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that they've never used, that they don't have the instructions for.
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So I'll see something and be like,
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oh my God, this is so cool.
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And they'll be like, oh, that doesn't work.
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And I'm like, what?
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And they just have, it doesn't bother them that it doesn't work.
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It's not a big deal that it doesn't work.
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They're very tolerant of it.
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Same thing, like I've talked about this a lot,
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I think in terms of games and my level of,
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my tolerance for losing a game, any game.
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If I play a game,
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I want to win that game.
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Now, I notice that some people can play games and they don't care if they win or lose.
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They seem so happy either way.
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I'm fascinated by this, fascinated.
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And there's this part of me that feels like I wanna be more like that.
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Being upset over losing something is such a bummer.
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I don't wanna be upset.
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I wanna be like, ah, that's what happens.
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Sometimes we lose, it's okay.
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and I'm genuinely not.
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Like we just watched the Kings game,
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Kings game seven, that's a basketball team out of Sacramento.
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They were playing the Warriors and the genuine nervousness I have watching a game like that,
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how I feel in my stomach and how badly I feel when we lose is a little bit ridiculous in some ways.
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I just don't have a tolerance for it and watching my son play golf and watching him try and win And him,
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you know, when he loses,
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it's very difficult for me to just be like,
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oh, that's a right kid.
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You gave it your best shot.
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Like the two of us together are just devastated by this.
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We just don't have a tolerance for it.
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And I think that I like that about myself in many ways.
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And I don't like it either.
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I like that I'm always striving for better.
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I like that I want to win.
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I like that I demand excellence for myself and other people.
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But I also don't like how it makes me feel more on edge and more intense than I think is often necessary.
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And so the answer that I've come up with,
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and hopefully I can help you do it too,
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because I think a lot of us who demand excellence from ourselves and other people,
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who want things to work,
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who want to always be bettering ourselves,
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who want to always win.
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I think that we can find a middle ground or even a kind of two-thirds ground that will make our lives easier,
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that will make us calm down,
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not be reactive, be more tolerant of other people who aren't like us,
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who aren't as intense, who aren't as hardcore
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and not feel like we're giving up the essence of who we are
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and settling for something that's less than what we ultimately want.
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And so for some of you,
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you may use a different word besides tolerance.
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Maybe you, you, you know,
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I was using the words like easygoing,
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chill, not bothered versus hardcore intense with a low tolerance.
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And, and is it good or bad?
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And is there a time and place for all of it?
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And so one of the things
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that I have decided as I've kind of been living within this question is
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that I do want to be more tolerant and I never wanna give up striving for excellence.
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And is there a really amazing mixture of being easygoing,
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hardcore, chill and intense and a combination of a low tolerance for bad behavior from myself and for others,
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but not bothered by things that don't really matter to me?
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And I think the answer is yes.
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I think there is a cool combination of both of those where we don't have to pretend.
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And that for me is the most important thing because listen,
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if I lose a game,
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I can pretend that I don't care,
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that I just lost at Monopoly,
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but I do care that I just lost at Monopoly,
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even though they're six years old and I lost at Monopoly.
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I really care.
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And so can I care that I lost without overreacting,
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without being unnecessarily intense, with being easygoing,
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and also with wanting to continue to try and win in every way that I can,
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but not in a way where I'm not even enjoying the process or enjoying my own behavior.
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And I think I have a tendency,
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and knowing this about myself,
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I have a tendency to err on the side of being too intense
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and having too high of expectations and too overreacting when they're not fulfilled.
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And knowing that, knowing that I have a very low tolerance for all of those things helps me kind of manage myself,
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like having that understanding.
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I can manage myself and say,
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okay, Brooke, you're probably always going to err on the side of being too intense.
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So dialing that down will probably never cost you excellence.
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It probably won't ever cost you the kind of intense life that you want to live,
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but it also might help you release from having to win everything or being so upset by everything.
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And the last podcast that I did,
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where you could really look at defeat and like really understanding how to deal with defeat,
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is kind of part of this question.
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And how do we move forward and never beat ourselves up
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and always love ourselves through the process and always be encouraging ourselves to grow,
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but not in a way that's kind of,
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I don't know, patronizing to our own capability and where we're not gonna all of a sudden just think everything's fine.
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This is like one of my fears, like everything's fine.
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No one needs to worry about anything.
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I'm not upset about anything.
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nothing bothers me.
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I like genuinely want things to bother me.
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When something's broken in my house,
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I want that to bother me.
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When I don't win, I want that to bother me.
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I just don't want it to bother me so much
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that I'm constantly trying to outrun my own losses and my own broken items and my own things at my own expense.
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So here are a couple of questions that I'm going to use
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and maybe you could use when you're trying to be more tolerant in your own life.
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And for some of you,
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you may have the opposite problem.
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You may want to be less tolerant of having everything be broken in your house
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or having people mistreat you or have people talking to you in an unacceptable tone of voice,
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that sort of thing.
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Maybe you want to err on the other side of this equation
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and be less tolerant and more kind of bothered
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and hardcore about your own boundaries and about what kind of behavior you will accept.
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Maybe it's from your employees,
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maybe it's from your children,
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maybe it's from your family or friends, whatever.
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So you know who you are.
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You know if you're too easygoing,
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so it's like at your own expense,
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or if you're too intense at your own expense.
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So here are some questions that we can all ask to kind of help us kind of ride that middle ground,
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I think, is does this really matter to me and why?
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So let's say someone is talking to you
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or someone's showing up late all the time
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or talking to you in a mean tone of voice
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or calling you at all hours and demanding that you pick up the phone, something like this.
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and you're tolerating that behavior and you're tolerating putting up with it.
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And you ask yourself, does this really matter?
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Do I actually care that this person is doing this?
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And if the answer is yes,
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then you can decide I want to be more intense here.
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I wanna be more verbal here.
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I wanna be less accepting here.
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I know that sounds crazy,
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but I wanna be less tolerant,
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less accepting and more bothered in this situation.
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Or if the answer is no,
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this doesn't matter to me at all.
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Like, I don't want this to bother me.
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I don't want to be intense about this.
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I don't want to be hardcore about this.
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Because for example, for me,
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like I'm very bothered when I don't perform at the level.
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And I'm very bothered when people,
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you know, especially people that work for me don't do what they say they're going to do,
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or they don't think through things before they do them.
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So that's like, I want to be bothered when they don't do that.
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But there's other things that like people making fun of me,
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people talking about me, making comments on the internet,
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people being rude to me or whatever.
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Like that stuff, I just don't want any of it to bother me.
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It makes me feel disempowered.
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I want to feel powerful in my own right.
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That stuff doesn't matter to me.
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So that's the first question.
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Does this matter to me?
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Why?
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Or maybe why not?
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and what action do I wanna take in my life to demonstrate more tolerance or less tolerance in this area?
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And that's it.
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And I have really grown a lot thinking about this question and deciding who I wanna be.
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It makes me feel like super empowered.
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Like I can just be a person who isn't bothered by certain things.
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And one of the things that the podcast let me do like in the last podcast
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that I created is it just helped me turn situations where I have a low tolerance,
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where I'd be super bothered into learning opportunities,
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where instead of being just mad and upset about a defeat,
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I can use it as an opportunity to learn.
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And instead of being mad about how I'm allowing someone to treat me,
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I can use that as an opportunity to develop a lower level of tolerance for being treated that way
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and to use that as a learning opportunity to grow who I am as a human.
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One of the things that's happened for me as I've turned 50 and I feel like I'm at my midlife,
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I'm at halfway through my life,
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so to speak, is really questioning who I am
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and who I want to be on the regular and feeling empowered to make that decision.
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And I will say I'm making a decision to be more tolerant in some ways with myself
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and with other people and with situations.
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And after I've made that decision,
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I have had people in my life,
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it's so fascinating, like so many people in my life just being like,
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whoa, what has happened to you?
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What is going on?
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And I had one person say,
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are you losing your touch?
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Are you losing your edge?
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And I'm like, maybe a little bit.
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Maybe I'm losing a little bit,
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but I think it's worth that sacrifice in order to be a little bit more chill more of the time.
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I'm never going to lose my fire.
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I'm never going to lose my ambition.
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I'm never going to lose my kind of demanding of excellence,
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but I am going to be a little bit more tolerant and a little bit more chill.
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And that feels good to me.
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So let me invite you to do the same.
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Look around at your life.
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Where are you being too tolerant?
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Where are you putting up with too much nonsense?
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And where in your life are you really being too bothered and having a low level of tolerance?
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Ask yourself, does this really matter and why?
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And what action steps can I take?
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And of course, that's going to come from your thoughts originally to be more tolerant or less tolerant in this area.
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I hope this is as useful of a question to you as it was to me.
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It's been a life changer for me.
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Have a beautiful week, everyone.
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I'll talk to you next week.
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Bye-bye.
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Hey, if you enjoy listening to this podcast,
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you have to come check out Self-Coaching Scholars.
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It's my monthly coaching program where we take all this material and we apply it.
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We take it to the next level and we study it.
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Join me over at thelifecoachschool.com forward slash join.
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Make sure you type in the the lifecoachschool.com forward slash join.
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I'd love to have you join me in self-coaching scholars.
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See you there.
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上下文与背景
在这一集《生活教练学校》播客中，主持人布鲁克·卡斯提奥探讨了一个引人深思的话题：容忍度。她分享了自己在生活中反复思考的个人问题，以及这些思考如何让她理解自身的身份与个性。布鲁克对容忍的高低层面进行了哲学性思考，探讨了高容忍度所带来的友善、随和对比于可能允许有害行为的危害。通过这样的自我反思，她询问我们应该在哪些方面容忍，在哪些方面则不应妥协，这一问题具有广泛的适用性，涉及到我们生活的多个层面。
日常交流的五个重要短语
- “Have a high tolerance” - 拥有高容忍度
- “Demand excellence” - 要求卓越表现
- “Unacceptable behavior” - 不可接受的行为
- “Get along with people” - 与人相处融洽
- “Balance between tolerance and standards” - 在容忍与标准之间取得平衡
逐步跟读指导
要有效地提高您的英语发音和口语能力，可以采用shadowspeak的技术。以下是逐步指导，帮助您在这集中逐渐掌握播客的语言内容：
- 收听与理解：首先聆听布鲁克的播客内容，尽量理解她讨论的主题和观点。
- 分段跟读：将播客内容分成小段落，专注于每个段落中的短语和表达，例如“have a high tolerance”。
- 模仿发音：在听到短语时，暂停以模仿布鲁克的发音和语调。这对于提高英语发音特别有帮助。
- 重复练习：多次重复每一段，直到您能自然流利地说出这些短语。
- 整合与应用：将所学的短语和表达用于日常对话中，试图围绕容忍度与人际关系的主题进行讨论。
通过坚持使用这些方法，您将能够在口语交流中更加自信，从而提升您在英语学习中的整体表现，成为一位善于表达和交流的人。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。