跟读练习: How to win a negotiation, with former FBI hostage chief Chris Voss - 通过YouTube学习英语口语
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- My negotiation background really started even before I became an FBI hostage negotiator because I needed to get some training.
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- My negotiation background really started even before I became an FBI hostage negotiator because I needed to get some training.
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And that training was really intense, focused listening on a suicide hotline.
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Really learning about emotional intelligence and what drives people, and then how to navigate that in a way that calms people down, makes people make decisions.
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- 'Gunmen burst into the Chase Manhattan Bank in Park Slope this morning.
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And ever since negotiators have been trying to get them to give up.' - 'Hostage negotiators used a bullhorn to try and talk to the gunman.' - 'Billy, we're on the same page.' - 'What persuaded the gunman finally to come out?
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- I think it was excellent hostage negotiating.' - People in intense situations aren't changing their patterns.
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They're still working in the same way that they would under less intense circumstances; they're still making the same decisions.
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So if you take hostage negotiation skills, which are navigating human emotions, and you put them in the middle of business and personal negotiations, you've actually got a great way to work your way through business negotiations, and personal and everyday life negotiations.
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If you think that successful negotiations are successful because of logic or arguments or reason or compromise, you're losing money- you're leaving millions of dollars on the table.
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And over the course of a lifetime, that could be true for everybody.
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Tactically, emotional intelligent negotiation is the way you make great deals, and the way you have great long-term relationships.
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And sometimes they miss that and they think that the problem is a person across the table.
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And that's why, oftentimes, that people think of it as conflict and actually treat it as conflict.
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Negotiation is really about what people are making decisions based on what they care about, what's your passions?
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Every decision you make, you make based on what you care about, which I'm afraid that by definition, that makes decision-making an emotional process.
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First of all, understanding where the other side's coming from and especially emotionally, and then being able to feed it back to them in a way that they signal to you that you've got it right.
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Understand and demonstrate that understanding.
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There are a lot of negotiators that really will give in on a deal because being understood is more important than getting what they want.
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So once we completely understand where somebody's coming from, then with tactical empathy, we get a much better feel for exactly how they feel about things, how that drives them- and then how we can interact with the things that are driving them.
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The reasons you won't make a deal are typically more important than the reasons you will make a deal.
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There's Nobel Prize-winning behavioral economics theory that says that people will put a value of losses on at least twice what an equivalent gain is.
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So losing $5 stings at least twice as much as gaining $5.
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Losing $5 feels like losing $10 or even $35- it's just a ridiculous skewing in our brains over loss.
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So knowing that fear of loss is probably going to drive someone's decision-making more than anything else, tactically, I want to diffuse those fears.
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I want to get them out of that fear-based thinking, and I want to get them really in a more rational, open frame of mind as quickly as I can, which is why, tactically and empathy, I wanna address their fears first.
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Well, labeling is the best way to practice tactical empathy: In its strictest form, it's just saying, or writing, "it seems like, it sounds like, it looks like," putting a label on the dynamic.
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And science is showing us now, that if we label a negative, it diminishes it.
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I'll actually say to somebody ahead of time, "Look, this is gonna sound really harsh, and there's a really good chance that when I get done saying what I'm gonna say, you're not gonna like me at all." And then I'll say what I have to say, and they'll say, "Wow, that wasn't that bad." So I know I can take a very preemptive approach to negative thinking because I know what a barrier it is to decision-making in business.
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The type of listening-I practice it as I teach it- is really kind of beyond active listening all by itself.
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We even sort of refer to it sometimes as 'listeners judo' because we're listening very carefully for certain things.
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We're listening for different aspects of what people care about, and what they're against at the same time.
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People will reveal the negatives, very much, either between the lines, a little bit of the adjectives, and in also in every positive there's a flip side negative; every negative, there's a flip side positive.
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If I make it a point of talking about how I'm for integrity, then if you're making it a point to state that then you've been betrayed in the past, that's been a problem for you in the past.
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There's a yin and yang to everything.
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And as soon as you realize that, that there's a negative to every positive and a positive to every negative, and you're listening for it, you can kind of pick out how you want to guide a discussion knowing that those are the things that you're looking for.
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I remember one time I was on the phone with a customer service airlines person, and that's gotta be a tough job because those people get yelled at all day long every day.
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Nobody calls customer service unless they're unhappy.
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And this woman was one of those women that she clearly she'd been yelled at 50 times during the day, and she was not interested in staying on the phone with me a moment longer than she had to.
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And I remember when I was off the phone and she had me on hold, I remember saying, "You know, I guarantee you this woman right now is thinking, she's saying to her colleagues, 'You know, this guy's lucky I'm talking to him on a phone at all!'" So I was thinking about the negative of that, and then I was about the flip side.
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Well in her view, if she thinks I'm lucky to be talking to her on the phone, then the flip side of that is she's actually being generous in her mind and her world.
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She came back on the phone and I said to her, "You know what?
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I really appreciate how generous you've been with your time." And I could tell immediately her frame of mind changed.
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She put me back on hold for about a minute and a half after that.
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And when she came back on the phone, she'd given me a full refund on my ticket.
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Most people, if you're nice to them, can help you by doing a little bit if you give them a chance.
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If you're just nice to people, it's amazing what they'll do for you.
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- That's awesome. - That was great story.
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- Thank you. - Thank you for awesomeness.
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背景与上下文
本视频的主讲者是前FBI人质谈判专家克里斯·沃斯，他在谈判领域拥有丰富的经验。沃斯的谈判技巧始于他在危机热线的训练，这帮助他了解到情感智力和人们在压力下的决策方式。通过他的经验，我们可以认识到谈判不仅仅是基于逻辑与妥协，更是对人类情感的深刻理解。
日常交流中的五个实用短语
- “这听起来很严厉，但…” - 在需要表达负面信息时可以减轻对方的抵触情绪。
- “我明白你的担忧。” - 表达理解，以建立信任关系。
- “这对你来说似乎很重要。” - 确认对方的情感，这有助于缓解紧张局势。
- “让我们找出一个双方都能接受的解决方案。” - 强调合作精神，促进共赢。
- “我会更多地倾听你的观点。” - 展现开放心态，让对方感受到重视。
逐步影子跟读指南
要提升你的英语口语及发音，利用本视频进行英语影子跟读是一个优秀的选择。以下是逐步指导：
- 观看视频并理解内容：首先观看一次视频，尽量理解克里斯·沃斯所传达的主要观点和技巧。
- 逐句影子跟读：选择一段短视频，使用shadowspeak的方式，逐句模仿沃斯的语音和语调。在每一句后暂停，重复该句。
- 注意情感和语气：在跟读时，注意沃斯如何通过语气传达情感。这是提高发音的关键。
- 反复练习：多次重复跟读，尽可能达到与原句语音一致，直到感到自如为止。
- 录音对比：用手机录下自己的声音，与视频中的声音进行对比，找出语音和语调上的差距，并加以改正。
运用这一方法，结合看YouTube学英语，你将能有效提高英语口语能力，增强自信，掌握更复杂的沟通技巧。记得定期进行提高英语发音的练习，确保你在真实的谈判和对话中能表现得更加出色。
什么是跟读法？
跟读法 (Shadowing) 是一种有科学依据的语言学习技巧，最初开发用于专业口译员的培训，并由多语言者Alexander Arguelles博士普及。这个方法简单而强大：您在听英语母语原声的同时立即大声重复——就像是一个延迟1-2秒紧跟说话者的影子。与被动听力或语法练习不同，跟读法强迫您的大脑和口腔肌肉同时处理并模仿真实的讲话模式。研究表明它能显着提高发音准确性，语调，节奏，连读，听力理解和口语流利度——使其成为雅思口语备考和真实英语交流最有效的方法之一。