تدريب Shadowing: 18 - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

You know that feeling when one conversation leaves you feeling completely off?

⏸ متوقف مؤقتاً

السرعة:

192 جمل

إذا كانت الجمل قصيرة أو طويلة جدًا، انقر على Edit لتعديلها.

You know that feeling when one conversation leaves you feeling completely off?

Not just annoyed, but like everything in your life is wrong.

You feel trapped and powerless and then that feeling bleeds into everything else.

Maybe it was a conversation with a friend

or a call with a family member or maybe something small at work

and afterwards you are short with your partner or you snap at someone that you love over something very small.

Or maybe you just feel this tension in your body

that you can't quite shake and you feel like you are one small thing away from losing it.

And the worst part isn't even the reaction, it's what comes afterwards.

The guilt, the confusion, wondering why do I keep doing this?

What is wrong with me?

Hi, I'm Melissa, I'm a GP and a certified attachment coach.

In this video I'm going to show you why there is nothing wrong with you,

why you're not a bad person or a difficult person for having that reaction.

I know that might be hard to believe right now,

especially if you've been watching yourself snap at people that you love and wondering what is wrong with you for a while.

But by the end of the video everything is going to make sense.

You're going to understand why one conversation can derail an entire day and why that reaction,

as confusing as it is,

makes complete sense once you understand what's underneath it.

I'm also going to show you how to find your way back

when you are in the middle of it

and it doesn't involve telling yourself to calm down because I think you already know that that doesn't work.

This used to happen to me almost every day,

sometimes even multiple times a day.

It was usually something small and meaningless that would leave me feeling very irritable,

sensitive, and like my emotions were very raw.

That would stay with me for hours,

which meant that I would end up snapping at someone that I love,

someone who had nothing to do with the initial interaction,

just because they didn't say or do something exactly as I expected.

So what is actually happening?

It starts with something called a core wound.

And before you click away thinking that this is going to be a lecture,

just hang with me for a second because we are going to talk about this in a very uncomplicated way.

A core wound is a deep belief that you formed about yourself usually early in life,

but it can happen anytime in response to something you experienced,

something that felt overwhelming or unsafe.

And because you couldn't fully process it at a time,

your mind made meaning out of it in order to protect you.

And that meaning becomes a belief.

It can be something like,

I am unsafe, I am unlovable,

I am unworthy, I am not good enough.

And here's the thing about core wounds,

they aren't just hanging out in your mind,

they act like a lens.

Everything you experience, everything people say to you,

every small thing in your day gets filtered through that lens.

And the other thing is,

the subconscious looks for evidence to support existing beliefs.

So it looks for proof that supports that wound.

Most of the time you don't notice it.

Life is busy, you are functioning,

but then something small happens.

A conversation that leaves you feeling unseen,

a moment that leaves you feeling dismissed or unheard,

and that triggers that core wound.

And so the core wound is now open and that lens is very active.

And here's where it gets interesting.

When that wound is triggered,

it doesn't just stay in the conversation that triggered it,

it bleeds into everything after.

So for example, you just finished that phone call or

that conversation and you are already feeling unseen and unheard

and maybe a little bit dismissed and you are craving reassurance and comfort.

So you go to your partner and he tries to comfort you,

but he doesn't do it exactly how you would like him to.

Instead of coming to sit next to you,

he just does it from the doorway.

And instead of feeling better,

you feel even more and important.

Even though you consciously know that he's trying to comfort you,

all you feel is angry because he didn't come and sit next to you.

But the problem here isn't the fact that he tried to comfort you from the doorway.

The real problem is the meaning that you are giving to his actions,

which is based on the wound that was triggered and is still open.

This is the difference between facts and meaning,

and it's one of the most important things that I've learned.

The fact, He tried to comfort you from the doorway.

The meaning is the story you are subconsciously telling yourself based on the wound that was triggered.

And it could be something like,

he's trying to comfort me from the doorway.

That means he isn't listening.

He doesn't care.

Nobody cares.

I am unloved.

And here is what makes this so hard.

In that moment, that meaning feels like a fact.

But the meaning that you give to a situation isn't always the truth,

or at least the whole truth.

When the wound is open and raw,

you are seeing everything through that lens.

So he tries to comfort you from the doorway.

That's all that happened.

The rest is just the wound talking.

So now that you understand what's happening,

you might be thinking, okay,

so next time this happens,

100

I will just tell myself that this is the wound talking and that meaning is not the same as fact.

101

Simple.

102

Not so fast.

103

Because if you've ever tried to logic your way out of a situation like this,

104

you know that it doesn't work and there is a reason for that.

105

Your subconscious mind is running about 95% of your decisions, emotions, and actions.

106

And your conscious mind, the part that is watching this video and going like,

107

yes, I understand, this all makes sense,

108

cannot just overpower your subconscious mind,

109

especially not in the middle of a triggered moment,

110

and not Bible power alone.

111

Your subconscious doesn't speak in logic,

112

it speaks in feelings and images.

113

So telling it to calm down,

114

just let it go, it's not going to work,

115

because it responds to emotion and repetition over time.

116

So telling yourself to just calm down,

117

it's like giving directions to someone who speaks a completely different language.

118

The intention is there, but it's probably not going to get through.

119

And this is why you keep finding yourself in the same reactions,

120

even when you understand it,

121

even when you know better.

122

It's not weakness or a character flaw,

123

it's just how the subconscious mind works.

124

So if logic doesn't work, then what does?

125

But before we talk about that,

126

I just want to tell you that if you find it hard to tell the difference between fear and your inner wisdom,

127

I made a free guide that will help you with that.

128

It helps start separating the fear

129

that is trying to protect you from the part of you that knows what you need right now.

130

So you can start making decisions that are aligned with your true self.

131

The link is below.

132

So back to what if logic doesn't work, then what does?

133

Your body and mind need to both come back to safety,

134

but they both speak different languages so they need different things.

135

Some days your body needs to go first.

136

When that feeling of being trapped and powerless takes over,

137

your body is in a stress response.

138

And it's very hard to think your way out of a stress response.

139

So what you can do is,

140

for example, breathe deeply for a few minutes,

141

shake your body like you are shaking water off your body,

142

or you can also do a body scan meditation where you are just noticing things without trying to fix it.

143

The idea is to do something that will let that excess energy flow,

144

and this will help you regulate your nervous system.

145

On other days, you might find that going straight to your mind gives you enough relief to then settle your body.

146

In those days, you can start by asking yourself a few simple questions.

147

What meaning am I giving this situation about myself?

148

Am I worried about a specific worst-case scenario related to this situation?

149

And you keep asking yourself these two questions until you've reached the underlying wound.

150

And once you can see the one clearly,

151

you do the next step,

152

which is look for evidence of the opposite.

153

But don't force positive thoughts.

154

Genuinely ask yourself, is this really true?

155

Do I know that this is 100% true?

156

What do I know that contradicts this?

157

And then when you find that evidence,

158

don't just think it, you need to let your body feel it.

159

So you bring that image of the memory to your mind,

160

and then you let your body experience that memory.

161

I just want to point out that the order here isn't important

162

because honestly you are probably going to have to address both

163

but learning to read which one needs to come first is in itself a form of self-trust

164

and sometimes you can just ask for reassurance from the people

165

who are safe enough to give it to you you can go to your partner

166

and tell him look i am feeling this way

167

because of what happened earlier and

168

when you talk to me from the doorway i felt even more unseen

169

and i consciously know that that was not your intention but right now I need some reassurance.

170

And then you just let him give it to you.

171

That is not being weak.

172

That is knowing what you need and being able to ask for it.

173

Here's one more thing that I want to leave you with.

174

The next time that you find yourself reacting in a way that confuses you,

175

snapping at someone you love,

176

feeling disproportionately angry about a situation,

177

that overwhelming sense that everything is wrong,

178

I would like you to try to remember this.

179

You are not a bad person.

180

You are not a difficult person,

181

there is nothing wrong with you.

182

You are just someone with wounds,

183

just like everybody else on the planet.

184

The difference now is you know what's happening,

185

and you can start to see the wound from what it is.

186

You can start to separate fact from meaning,

187

and you can start to find a way back to yourself,

188

not by forcing it, but by actually giving yourself what you need in those moments.

189

That is self-awareness, and that really changes everything.

190

And on that note, if you want to understand what your body is trying to tell you when something feels off,

191

but all your tests are clear,

192

then watch this video next because it's going to help you see it in a completely different way.

TRENDING

الأكثر شعبية

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.

☕ اشترِ لنا قهوة

يظل ShadowingEnglish مجانيًا بنسبة 100% بفضل دعمكم. تكاليف الخوادم والذكاء الاصطناعي مرتفعة — قهوتكم تبقينا مستمرين! 🙏

التبرع عبر PayPal

ShadowingEnglish.com – تمرين التظليل الصوتي للإنجليزية

تحدث الإنجليزية بطلاقة باستخدام تقنية التظليل الصوتي. استمع لفيديوهات يوتيوب الأصلية، كرر جملة بجملة، وابنِ نطقاً حقيقياً وطلاقة — يستخدمها متعلمو IELTS حول العالم.

تدريب Shadowing: 18 - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

الأكثر شعبية

لماذا ممارسة المحادثة مع هذا الفيديو؟

القواعد والتعبيرات في السياق

مصائد النطق الشائعة

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

تدريب Shadowing: 18 - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

تنزيل التطبيق

لماذا ممارسة المحادثة مع هذا الفيديو؟

القواعد والتعبيرات في السياق

مصائد النطق الشائعة

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟