تدريب Shadowing: Nobody Teaches Women This About Love (And It Costs Us Years) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

If you're a woman who falls in love, if you're a woman who is dating, and unfortunately this is actually going to apply to mostly heterosexual women, because that's where a lot of us really be going through it.

⏸ متوقف مؤقتاً

السرعة:

302 جمل

إذا كانت الجمل قصيرة أو طويلة جدًا، انقر على Edit لتعديلها.

So my queer girlies, apologies, but I think anybody can pick from what I'm about to say today.

I tell you, as a woman who has seen the lives of many great women be pillaged, decimated and desecrated by an attachment to romantic love, I think that this video is long overdue.

Grab your pen and your paper or open your ears.

Class begins.

Number one.

There is no reward or award for suffering, only exploitation.

The world profits off women who are insecure, seeking approval and exhausted.

You will not gain anything now by overdoing, overexerting, trying to prove your worth.

There is no heaven for you.

There is no place where you will go and be paid for your smallness, for your compliance, for your exhaustion, for losing yourself.

Nothing. Zilch.

You gain absolute **** all.

If you do not control the resources, you will never have power.

You will only have opinions.

Now listen, I know we live in a time where there are scoundrels on the internet pushing you towards topics like how to find a provider man, how to get princess treatment.

Let me tell you something.

If you want power, become a powerful woman.

If you want money, become a woman who has money.

Anything you want, become it.

Being provided for is not the same thing as being valued or respected.

Instead of looking for providers, look for your equal.

Look for partners in crime.

Look for people you build empires with.

Whatever an empire is to you, listen, not every woman wants to, not every woman has to dream of, you know, being a company CEO.

Not every woman has to do that.

But all I'm saying is find your equal.

When I say equals, I'm not talking just materialistic.

No, I'm talking equals mentally, heart-wise, value -wise.

Be with somebody who sees the world the way you do.

Not in everything, but at the core, your core values should be shared.

Please go get yours.

Stop allowing airheads.

Yes, I said it, airheads to sit on this internet.

On Maya Angelou's internet, if she was here, she'd be running this thing.

To sit here and lead you to hell.

Powerful people get into relationships with powerful people.

Go and check the patterns.

We can't be saying that we're sick of the patriarchy while feeding it.

Oh, in the same sentence, you're saying decenter men, you turn left and you're like, how to get princess treatment.

Are you crazy?

In the same sentence, you turn right.

How to find the provider man.

It's giving deranged.

Please, my babies.

Because a lot of us, whether we like it or not, it's performative.

You don't need to be having, oh my God, I'm decentering men, I'm decentering man, it's noise, stop it.

Just start living your life with you at the center and you won't need all this chippy, chippy, chippy.

We are refusing in truth.

Kill that Disney romantic helplessness.

You know that thing you learned from Disney, where all of your problems will arrive, solved by this knight in shining armor.

Kill it, kill it.

Nobody's coming to save you.

You are going to have all of this extreme want and hopelessness and need transferred onto another person's body.

So when they arrive into your life, they will never ever be enough because you have all these things that you've built up in your head that are not realistic and quite frankly, unfair.

Get your house in order so that when you meet somebody and you require something from them, it will be an extension of your reality.

You're not telling them to create a new world for you.

You are asking them to match what your world already holds.

Please, please, my darlings, please.

Like my heart really breaks when I see young women talking like somebody cooked their brains because someone actually did.

Stop allowing people to chip away at your medulla.

The only way to get the life of your dreams is intermission.

If you've ever watched my videos and you're like, you know what?

Yes, I get it, but I need something more hands-on.

I struggle with self-love.

I struggle with my confidence.

To help me with self-respect, just to help me come into myself, to help me unpack things that might have happened to me.

I've made workbooks to help you with this at your own pace.

You don't have to rush them.

You take your time.

You can find them at theneurocosmic.com.

All right, back to the video.

The only way to get the life of your dreams is by becoming somebody who can live it.

And that takes me to my next point.

Your attention is an investment.

Baby, invest wisely.

Or better still, I'll tell you where to invest it, in yourself.

Because when you flourish, everything around you flourishes.

When you're doing well, when you're okay, when you're balanced, everything you touch receives that balance.

Overgiving doesn't create security, okay?

So doing more, fixing more, forgiving more, showing up more does not make a person value you more.

It just makes them believe and see that you can accept less.

Oh, I don't even need to do much.

I don't even need to show up.

They will just keep trying to prove themselves.

Okay, this is what they accept.

When people do less, disengage.

And you're not disengaging as a way to play games.

No, no, not at all.

You're disengaging because you respect yourself.

And a lot of people will be like, yeah, but like, if I disengage, and then now they know that this is who I am, and then they play it up, do I go back?

In my life, I don't.

If you have to test me to see if you can play with me, you're not my type.

You're not my type, sorry.

Wasting five, 10, 15, 20, 25 years of your life is worse than whatever judgment you fear that the people around you or your community will place on you if you left now.

Unless your life is truly in danger.

Let me tell you something.

Wasting even another day of your life is worse.

Think about it this way.

100

You get on a train, you miss your first stop.

101

You can either get out on the next stop, or you stay there and you're like, oh my God, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

102

And you miss seven more stops.

103

Remember, the longer you stay on the train, the more expensive it gets, the more time you lose.

104

So even though I've missed my first stop, fine.

105

I just get off the next stop, which makes it easier to get back to the first stop.

106

Leaving will hurt you.

107

Staying will cost you.

108

Pick your poison.

109

Romance, and I was having this conversation with my sister yesterday.

110

Romantic love should be assessed like a business partnership.

111

Sue me. Now let me paint you a picture.

112

If I walked up to you, maybe not me because you know me on the internet, so you might say yes immediately.

113

But no, let's say a random person walked up to you, or even a friend that you know.

114

And they're like, hey baby, come on baby, let's start a business.

115

Y'all will sit down and plotch.

116

You will check all these things.

117

You might even get a contract.

118

You might even get a lawyer.

119

You might even say, can you write me a proposal?

120

Y'all will do all of these things for business contracts.

121

But for somebody that some of you want to be sleeping and waking up next to, some of you even want to have children with these people, you will do due diligence to build a company, to start a business, but not to let it rando into your home.

122

Girl, you don't see how crazy it is, no?

123

Is it just me?

124

Where does this thing see itself in a year, in two years?

125

What do I benefit?

126

Am I going to lose my principle?

127

What interest will I have?

128

How does my interest mature?

129

Is this a private, a public limited company?

130

Are we selling shares in this company?

131

Yes, even if it's not a serious connection, it matters.

132

Y'all be letting anything and anything and anything and anything into your homes.

133

Girl, tighten up.

134

Does it fit into my life, into my future?

135

Stick to the plan.

136

Don't change your plans.

137

Stick to the plan.

138

Honestly, as I'm talking about this, I'm seeing it in my head.

139

So many women who I know have changed their big, serious life goals because they met somebody.

140

Suddenly all their plans have gone to the side.

141

Well, I mean, girl, stick to the plan.

142

If you have to literally decimate your own dreams, your own goals, that is not the love of your life.

143

Love of your life will not require you to lose personhood, to be with them.

144

No, they're not the love of your life.

145

Wake up. High standards expose weak systems.

146

Being low maintenance doesn't actually help you.

147

It just makes you low priority.

148

That's all.

149

So keep your standards high and watch the systems collapse.

150

And you might think, yeah, but my standards are too high.

151

That's why I'm losing people.

152

No, your standards are exposing people you're not compatible with.

153

And that's okay.

154

If they mock your standards, they can't meet it.

155

Next, inconsistent effort creates addiction, not love.

156

And you're not immune to it either.

157

So don't sit there trying to argue.

158

Well, last week he did this.

159

And at the first one month he did this, they did this for me.

160

And now they're doing this.

161

How do I get them back to do that?

162

Once someone is inconsistent with you, you should start having hives, okay?

163

Break out in hives and vanish.

164

Potential is not reality.

165

Date reality.

166

So date who is in front of you.

167

And it's quite unfair too, to look at a person and then project all these things that they must become on them.

168

And then when they're not that thing, then you hate on them.

169

Then you make them feel small because, well, I thought you'd become this person.

170

Date who they are showing you they are.

171

If you don't like them, you don't like them. But the people you date, they are human beings too.

172

They have feelings, okay?

173

So if you know that they're not who you want, don't date them and be hoping that they turn into who you have in your head.

174

Oh, I feel like I'm being so mean.

175

But we need it, we need it.

176

Men rarely leave what benefits them.

177

Did you know?

178

That's why you see a man, a relationship of 70 years and they're like, oh yeah, they've been together for 70 years.

179

And the man has cheated 27 million times in that 70 years.

180

But the woman is slaving.

181

You know, the number one woman I talked about when I said this video.

182

Exhausted, giving everything.

183

And it's like 70 years of marriage.

184

He will never leave.

185

He hated her by year two.

186

But he's getting all these things.

187

He would never, ever leave.

188

That's why you must make sure you are benefiting too.

189

Which is why I'm saying marry equals.

190

Marry people that are partners in life.

191

So make sure you are benefiting too.

192

If you're not benefiting, get out of there.

193

Get out of here man, shit, I'm saying.

194

And this is for my really empathetic girlies, very kind and sweet ones who like communicating.

195

If you have to explain basic human empathy multiple times, it's not miscommunication, it's incompatibility.

196

It is not your duty to teach anybody that is a grown person, basic human decency.

197

It is not your job.

198

You're not responsible for teaching them emotional maturity.

199

They can take a class, quit now.

200

Nobody's paying you salary.

201

Thank you. If they move too fast, they are trying to skip compatibility checks.

202

Stop it. Have your red light, your green light and your amber light.

203

You know, your traffic light system.

204

Make sure it's on.

205

No matter how quickly they're moving, you're like, whoops, excuse me.

206

Make sure you keep your pace because it's a real thing.

207

If you have to play games to keep their attention, they don't like you.

208

They like the access they have to you or they like the chase.

209

Are you a goat?

210

No, no, this is not the zoo.

211

This is not the safari.

212

This is not the Olympics.

213

This is a human relationship.

214

If you find immediately that you're in a relationship or in some sort of connection and now suddenly you've turned into you've become Bond.

215

007, baby. If they have to do hide and seek with you, my dear, leave them in hiding and go outside and seek somebody else.

216

Love should not require detective work.

217

If you have to convince them to see your value, they already don't.

218

Someone who values you does not need convincing.

219

If you're exhausted, you are over functioning in the relationship.

220

You should not be exhausted.

221

Okay, if you want to be exhausted, go and do a PhD.

222

Now, when you tell me you're exhausted while doing your PhD, ah, yes, I like that.

223

If you want to be exhausted, go and build a business.

224

If you're seeking stress, start a new business.

225

That business you've been talking about starting, start it.

226

So when you're telling me, Pearl, I'm exhausted, I'll be like, oh, baby, I see you working really hard for your dreams.

227

But you can't tell me you're exhausted.

228

You're breaking out.

229

You're not eating.

230

You're not sleeping.

231

Because of who?

232

Step back. If you're always the mature one, you're not partnering.

233

You are parenting.

234

Drop them and go adopt a pet.

235

Struggle love is not deeper.

236

It's actually just harder and it's completely unnecessary.

237

Love is soft.

238

It might not always be easy, but I tell you, it's not struggle.

239

You don't always have to have romantic relationships where there's always this extreme ups and extreme downs.

240

It's just an addiction to chaos.

241

Wake up. Intensity and intimacy are not synonyms.

242

And healthy connections tend to be very, very, very calm.

243

They might have moments of intensity, but generally they're very smooth sailing.

244

My mom drummed this one into my head as a kid.

245

Marriage does not upgrade character.

246

It magnifies it.

247

If you can't accept something they're doing now, don't marry them.

248

Babies do not save relationships.

249

They expose all the cracks.

250

And let me tell you, it is a terrible, terrible and unfair thing to use a life as a crotch.

251

It's wicked.

252

Don't do it.

253

If they joke about disrespecting you, they're just rehearsing disrespecting you.

254

In fact, they're already disrespecting you.

255

Run. What if?

256

What if I said...

257

Ew. Success does not protect you from attracting emotionally unavailable men.

258

In fact, you're probably more prone to being targeted by terrible, terrible men.

259

When you're up here with your mentals and your work and everything, because they will put on a face and a mask.

260

So baby, pay attention.

261

Pay attention.

262

It is not uncommon for women who are high achieving, very, very intelligent to fall for terrible, terrible, terrible romantic partners.

263

Because I don't know, sometimes it's like you focus so much on this area of your life that you most kind of don't have skills here.

264

So pay attention, baby.

265

So really put on them glasses.

266

You know, the spectacles.

267

Put them on and really be looking.

268

Let them jump through hoops.

269

Yes. You know why?

270

You know why?

271

Because there's no question that you will ask.

272

There is nothing that you dig into that will chase the person who wants to be with you away.

273

So the minute you start digging and checking and trying to pace yourself and they're like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

274

Please let them woah on their way out of the door.

275

They should be woah-ing and jumping and running and going.

276

Please put on your spectacles, your glasses.

277

Remember? So keep your eyes open, my girlies.

278

I'm sure there are things I haven't mentioned, but you know, this is a really long list.

279

My mouth is paining me, so I'm going to go now.

280

And I hope I've given you some love.

281

I know it was a bit hard on you today.

282

I know, I know, I know.

283

But it's just, I'm sick.

284

I'm sick of seeing us suffer.

285

I care. I love romance.

286

I do. I know that sometimes because of the things I say, you might think I don't.

287

I really do.

288

But then I also love myself.

289

But a gift for you before I leave.

290

What's that song?

291

Every, every, I sang this song in secondary school.

292

Every something.

293

Suddenly it's hard to breathe.

294

Can't remember the words.

295

I'm trying to remember the melody.

296

No eyes can bring me down.

297

So don't you bring me down today.

298

I don't think that's a song.

299

You're delirious.

300

So confused.

301

In all your doom.

302

Trying hard.

TRENDING

الأكثر شعبية

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

التظليل الصوتي (Shadowing) تقنية تعلم لغة مدعومة علمياً، طُورت أصلاً لتدريب المترجمين الفوريين المحترفين. الطريقة بسيطة لكنها قوية: تستمع لصوت إنجليزي أصلي وتكرره فوراً بصوت عالٍ — كظل يتبع المتحدث بتأخير 1-2 ثانية. تُظهر الأبحاث تحسناً كبيراً في دقة النطق والتنغيم والإيقاع وربط الأصوات والاستماع والطلاقة.

☕ اشترِ لنا قهوة

يظل ShadowingEnglish مجانيًا بنسبة 100% بفضل دعمكم. تكاليف الخوادم والذكاء الاصطناعي مرتفعة — قهوتكم تبقينا مستمرين! 🙏

التبرع عبر PayPal

ShadowingEnglish.com – تمرين التظليل الصوتي للإنجليزية

تحدث الإنجليزية بطلاقة باستخدام تقنية التظليل الصوتي. استمع لفيديوهات يوتيوب الأصلية، كرر جملة بجملة، وابنِ نطقاً حقيقياً وطلاقة — يستخدمها متعلمو IELTS حول العالم.

تدريب Shadowing: Nobody Teaches Women This About Love (And It Costs Us Years) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

الأكثر شعبية

حول هذه الدرسة

المفردات والعبارات الرئيسية

نصائح للممارسة

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟

تدريب Shadowing: Nobody Teaches Women This About Love (And It Costs Us Years) - تعلم التحدث بالإنجليزية مع YouTube

تنزيل التطبيق

حول هذه الدرسة

المفردات والعبارات الرئيسية

نصائح للممارسة

ما هي تقنية التظليل الصوتي؟