Shadowing-Übung: Sexuality Professor Answers Dating Questions | Tech Support | WIRED - Englisch Sprechen Lernen mit Video
Übungsmodus wählen
Jeder Modus öffnet einen Übungsraum im Vollbild.
237 Sätze
Wenn Sätze zu kurz oder zu lang sind, klicke auf Edit, um sie anzupassen.
1
I'm Dr. Zhanna Vrangalova, a relationships consultant and professor of human sexuality, and today I'm here to answer your questions from the internet.
2
This is Dating Support.
3
All right, let's see.
4
First thing first asks, is it true that guys are no longer approaching women in public?
5
It is.
6
And you could argue for better or worse.
7
I would argue it's for the worse because humans evolved to interact with each other in person.
8
And while dating apps are great, they are one of the many tools in the toolbox,
9
we should not forget about that organic way of meeting people that can happen on the street, at the coffee shop, at the gym,
10
that is often a lot more magical when it happens than when you're on a dating app.
11
But because of partially dating apps, partially also because of greater awareness around sexual harassment,
12
sexual abuse, especially post-Me Too, there's more realizations that the way people have approached,
13
especially the way men often approach women in these non-designated flirting areas can come across in a way
14
that makes women feel unsafe.
15
And I would love it if we brought it back, but in a way that does not make people feel unsafe or threatened.
16
Life with Nye asks, How important is physical attraction versus emotional attraction?
17
For a long-term relationship, emotional attraction is really, really important.
18
That's what sustains us over the long term.
19
The trust, the connection, the intimacy, all of that is really important to have.
20
So if you're going to date someone for a long time, if you're going to marry them, have kids with them, settle down, make sure you have emotional attraction and connection.
21
Now, the physical attraction is a bit more of an it depends.
22
It's really, really important for some people and far less important to other people.
23
It's also something that's a lot more important in the beginning of the relationship.
24
It often gets people excited about each other, but then over time it's just not that important.
25
And it's important to remember that physical attraction can increase the more you like the person, the more emotional attraction exists between you two.
26
ActualParsnip says, changed my view.
27
Dating is generally far easier for women than it is for men.
28
This is an interesting one.
29
The truth is a little bit of both.
30
On one hand, dating is easier for women in terms of meeting potential partners.
31
Women get approached a lot more.
32
If you're on the dating apps, you have so many more options, so it's definitely easier to meet someone and go on a date.
33
On the other hand, And women often don't get what they actually are looking for
34
because many of these men who are approaching women are looking for something that the women are not actually looking for, casual sex versus romantic relationships.
35
And also, can you get the high quality romantic relationship that you want?
36
That's often something that women don't get.
37
And so if you are a man who's looking for a long-term relationship, oftentimes you can have a pretty good experience
38
and a lot of options to choose from
39
because a lot of the other guys being on offer are not offering
40
that a reddit user asks are situationships really changing the dating game
41
and why do people put up with them
42
so first what is a situationship it's one of these ongoing sexual
43
and maybe even romantic relationships but that don't really have a clear definition and there's no clear commitment around them.
44
If you don't want to get stuck in a situationship, then don't allow it to happen.
45
I mean, situationships exist because usually they work for one person who's happy to have that sort of undefined state of being,
46
and they usually don't work for the other person who would like to have a bit more definition, but they're just not getting it and for one reason or another putting up with it.
47
And you could argue it's not really ethical if one person knows
48
that the other person is not really enjoying and loving this situationship to keep it going.
49
But on the other hand, everybody has responsibility in this.
50
If it's not working out for you, you also have the responsibility to say it's not working.
51
One person can't have all of the responsibility.
52
They also can't be mind readers.
53
That's why communication is so important.
54
Talk to each other.
55
123mando1 asks, does anyone have tips on how to handle rejection in a healthy First and foremost, accept rejection gracefully.
56
It's never fun to get rejected, but it's also part of life and we have to learn how to take it in stride.
57
Try not to take it personally.
58
Very often it's not personal.
59
It has to do with not being compatible, not being the right time or simply other circumstances.
60
So be compassionate toward yourself, feel your feelings, but don't go too hard on yourself.
61
A Reddit user asks, should you always trust your gut?
62
This might sound like old wives tales, but the gut is actually a real thing when it comes to our connection to the brain.
63
It's sort of like a second brain
64
because it actually has over 100 million neurons inside the gut and they are connected through the vagus nerve.
65
It takes in information, and in those moments of fight or flight, when something is off, it can tell us, get out of that situation.
66
Or if something feels good and right, it can also pull us toward that situation.
67
So don't ignore the gut.
68
If the gut is saying, get out of here, then probably there's something off about that person.
69
That said, the gut is not all you should be paying attention to, because there are other pieces of information that the gut cannot take in and process, and And for that, you need your brain.
70
So make the brain and the gut work together with each other when deciding who's a good potential partner and who's not.
71
A Reddit user asks, why are men much more willing to have casual sex than women?
72
Oh boy, this is a big question.
73
That's a big answer.
74
Two big pieces of that answer.
75
There are evolutionary biological differences between men and women, and there are sociocultural reasons why this is happening.
76
On an evolutionary biological basis, there are very obvious differences in a reproductive anatomy and physiology.
77
Men make lots and lots of sperm.
78
They can easily deposit that sperm in as many vaginas as they have access to and make lots and lots of babies.
79
Then they don't have to put in any amount of effort into doing anything to have that baby be born, potentially survive, and so on.
80
They can literally do the bam, wham, thank you, ma'am, and that's it.
81
Now, that might not be in the best interest of that kid, and there's a whole conversation around, well, if you don't put in any effort beyond the bam,
82
wham, thank you, ma'am, is that kid actually going to make it?
83
In general, there is a much lower, what's called minimum parental investment that men need to put in in order for a baby to be born.
84
Females, on the other hand, have a very different math when it comes to sex.
85
And for women, having sex often meant getting pregnant, and that carried the cost of pregnancy for nine months,
86
breastfeeding for usually about two, maybe three years.
87
And during that time, you can't really be having or making new babies.
88
And so there's a very different cost of reproduction,
89
which plays into the way we think about having these more casual context for sex.
90
The interesting thing that has happened over the last 50 or
91
so years and more and more as we have developed all of these new ways of interacting in society,
92
greater gender equality, greater access of women to economic means and political power and greater independence,
93
as well as the access to birth control and decoupling basically of sex from reproduction,
94
what we have now is a situation that has never really existed before in the history of humanity.
95
And that is that sex no longer has to lead to pregnancy.
96
So women have that luxury of having casual sex that does not lead to that potentially unintended consequence.
97
Lady Minks and I ask, also in the context of dating, what on earth is orbiting?
98
This is like a whole other language.
99
It is.
100
If you just look at what's happened to the dating language over the last five to 10 years, we have so many terms that we never had before, for better or worse.
101
So what is orbiting?
102
Orbiting is when someone that you either was dating or started to date, or maybe even you were in a serious relationship with,
103
and that ended, and they stopped communicating with you directly.
104
So no more texts or calls or seeing each other, but they still kind of stay connected with you on social media usually.
105
So they will like your posts, they are following you, they're viewing your stories, following your activity.
106
So they kind of keep you in their orbit, but without actually having any kind of meaningful communication,
107
which to a lot of people can be distressing because you feel like there's no closure.
108
Specrex asks, can we define the term f* boy?
109
It's an important term.
110
A f boy is someone, typically male, who likes to pursue multiple sexual relationships simultaneously,
111
not really put in a lot of or any emotional commitment into them, which in and of itself is not necessarily a bad thing, but the key piece about the f* boy is
112
that he usually does it with some lying and cheating and not being honest about his intentions.
113
So there's manipulation, which is why it's often a disparaging kind of term.
114
Ashley Grossman asks, how do you decide in a relationship what is a deal breaker?
115
By knowing yourself and what matters to you.
116
Everybody is different.
117
What is going to matter for them versus other people?
118
You want to think about what are your core values that matter to you long term.
119
For some people, it will be religion or politics
120
or how you approach money or whether you want children or not or how you want to deal with family.
121
So make sure that you are on the same page on those issues.
122
Other things like behavioral patterns, like what kind of health behaviors do we engage in?
123
Are there any addiction issues, abuse, dishonesty, communication patterns?
124
How do you want to live your life?
125
Do you want to live in the suburbs or in the city?
126
Do you want to party and travel, what kind of career path do you want to have?
127
Those are all things that are going to come up and bite you if you're not on the same page.
128
Okay, statement two asks, how do you decide if you're settling or being realistic with your expectations?
129
It's a good question.
130
We can't have everything.
131
Something is going to have to give, but you have to know yourself so that you know what your core needs in a relationship are.
132
You're likely settling if you're ongoingly unfulfilled, resentful, if you feel like you're compromising on your core values,
133
if you are staying in a relationship mainly because you fear of being alone, and you're being realistic if you're making some compromises on certain preferences,
134
if most of the time in the relationship you feel like your core needs are being met
135
and you are generally happy and satisfied.
136
SXR444H says, what attachment style is it where you yearn for the man who doesn't consistently show his interest in you, if any.
137
This is a common thing that happens.
138
The attachment style that usually goes with that is the anxious attachment style.
139
Well, people often don't have a very high opinion of themselves and do have a higher opinion of other people,
140
and they are willing to put up with treatment that's not necessarily the greatest just
141
because they are afraid of losing that person.
142
It often comes from not having healthy role models for what is a good, healthy kind of relationship where the person does show interest in you.
143
The thing to do is work with a therapist.
144
It's absolutely possible to get to a healthier dynamic.
145
It just takes a little bit of work.
146
A lucid casadia asks, how important is chemistry in a relationship?
147
Chemistry is in some sense elusive and it's hard to define, but it's about that sense of strong attraction.
148
Often it's physical, sometimes it might also be intellectual or emotional, but it's that feeling like we really gel, right?
149
It's something really pulling me towards you and you're being pulled towards me and it feels pretty magical.
150
For most of us, especially in the West, in the way we like to start our relationships,
151
it's pretty important, especially if you want that physical attraction or connection that propels you into a long-term experience.
152
For some people, it's not that important.
153
They make their decisions to be with someone based on more kind of rational criteria,
154
like will they make a good parent and do they have good financial prospects and that kind of stuff.
155
And so that's okay too.
156
RoeBot3339 says, Would you rather be ghosted
157
or have someone tell you why they don't want to see or talk to you again?
158
Well, it depends.
159
People have different preferences.
160
And there's no real research asking people what they would prefer so that we know what the majority is.
161
My best sense from talking to students and clients is
162
that most people prefer to have some sort of indication
163
that the person doesn't want to see them again so
164
that they have a little bit of closure and know where they stand.
165
There are some people who would prefer to just get ghosted because that on one hand is maybe a little less awkward.
166
You don't have to face the rejection directly.
167
It kind of leaves things like, well, you never know.
168
Maybe this person will come around.
169
And so they find it easier, especially when it's early on.
170
NafulaOM asks, Do attachment styles change with different partners or is it constant?
171
Like, can I have an anxious attachment style with one partner and avoidant with another?
172
There is actually a lot of science going back decades about attachment styles, attachment patterns, how they develop, how they impact romantic relationships.
173
So this really is a real thing.
174
And so our attachment styles are something that is relatively consistent
175
and it's something that we start to develop early on through our interactions with our primary caregivers as we grow up.
176
And then they get reinforced as we start to interact with romantic partners and friends and other adults in our lives.
177
And while there is certainly some level of continuity over time, different people can also elicit different kinds of reactions from us.
178
So when we interact, let's say, with someone who is very avoidant, even if we're not particularly anxious,
179
it can elicit somewhat of an anxious response from us because they are acting so avoidant.
180
Vice versa, if we are interacting with someone who's really anxious, very clingy, and requiring a lot of time and attention and reassurance from us,
181
we can start to act a bit more avoidant even if we're not technically very avoidant.
182
So it absolutely can fluctuate depending on who we're interacting with.
183
The good news is even if we have an attachment style that is no longer optimal, that we're not happy with as adults,
184
like if we're really avoidant and really anxious and we want to do something about it, we can do something about it.
185
These things can change.
186
They can change with just knowledge about what our styles are, where they come from, and so that we can catch some of those reactions when we have them.
187
Sometimes it's good to have a therapist to work through some of those issues, especially some of the stuff that comes from childhood.
188
And very often what helps us overcome some of these no
189
longer serving as types of patterns is pairing up with someone who has a more secure attachment style or is willing,
190
even if they themselves have some avoidant or anxious tendencies, but they are willing to be aware of it
191
and then work with us to catch each other
192
and hold each other accountable for when some of these things flare up and bring them back down, downregulate them.
193
Salute Ace asks, how do I tell my partner I want to have a threesome for the first time?
194
Oh, this is a spicy one.
195
Threesomes is the single most common sexual fantasy that Americans have.
196
Go figure.
197
And yet it can be a pretty dicey thing to ask someone
198
because what if they're not on the same page and that blows up in your face?
199
So kind of two main avenues for how you can go about this.
200
You can take a more indirect approach to find out what
201
their opinion view generally is on threesomes before maybe you ask the big question.
202
And you can do that by bringing up, I don't know, something that you've read or seen in a movie
203
or a TV show or heard about your friends doing and then asking your partner what they think.
204
So you kind of probe a little bit.
205
The other way is talking about your fantasies.
206
Maybe have a moment where you decide that you're going to share your top three fantasies with each other.
207
Make it kind of low stakes.
208
Acknowledge that sharing fantasies can be pretty vulnerable because there's so much sex shaming and taboos.
209
This is stuff that, you know, it's something that you fantasize about occasionally.
210
It doesn't necessarily mean you have to do it or you want to do it.
211
It's just something that you want to share with your partner.
212
White Sandwich 69 asks, Is it possible to grow into loving someone?
213
Absolutely yes.
214
Love has these two stages, especially the way we do love and relationships in the West.
215
The first part is that crazy infatuation when we lose our minds over this new person.
216
And then over time, that subsides and turns into this long-term attachment where we are in a calmer state,
217
but we also know there's a lot more security.
218
There's long-term care we're invested in their well-being, they're invested in our well-being.
219
It absolutely is possible, even sometimes when you don't necessarily have that initial stage of infatuation,
220
to over time grow into loving them and turning that into a long-term attachment.
221
In fact, when people in many cultures have arranged marriages, they start out with no infatuation.
222
Very often they barely even know each other, but over time as they spend more time with each other, they grow into that attachment level love.
223
Kay Dislin asks, people are really out here in relationships with no traveling together, no dates, no spice, just arguments,
224
sex, and going to sleep.
225
What the are you doing?
226
It's a great observation.
227
There are a lot of people who are in low quality relationships.
228
Why are people doing it?
229
Often because they feel they don't have a better option, because they are afraid to put themselves back out there,
230
because often they think that's all they deserve a lot of us come from families
231
and have these role models for what relationships are like
232
that are not of a high quality relationship and
233
so yeah many of us are stuck in poor relationships and
234
if this is you reconsider either work on getting
235
that relationship to a much better level or move on
236
and find someone who's more compatible with you that's all the questions we have time for today i hope
237
that was useful until next time
App herunterladen
Alles, was du zum fließenden Sprechen brauchst
KI-AussprachebewertungJeder Satz bewertet
IPA-TrainingJeden Laut meistern
WortschatzBaue deinen Wortschatz auf
VokabelspielSpielend lernen
Gleicher Kanal
B11
Is Priyanka Chopra Jonas Vegan?
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Riverdale Cast Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Keke Palmer Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Daniel Radcliffe Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
Retired Navy SEAL Explains How to Prepare for Dangerous Situations | Tradecraft | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2Owen Wilson Answers The Web’s Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Jack Black & Paul Rudd Answer The Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B2Former FBI Agent Explains How to Read Body Language | Tradecraft | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
Dolly Parton Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
Ricky Gervais Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B21
Rhett & Link Answer The Internet's Best Questions
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
C11
Body Language Expert Explains How to Show Confidence | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B23
Millie Bobby Brown Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B13
TXT Answer The Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
TeensDaily Conversation
B27
Giancarlo Esposito Answers The Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B22
Chris Evans & Ana de Armas Answer the Web's Most Searched Questions | WIRED
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
Urban Designer Answers City Planning Questions From Twitter | Tech Support | WIRED
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B2330
Tokyo’s Vertical Farms - The Future of Farming | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
History Professor Answers Corruption Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
B22
Demographics Expert Answers Population Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Empfohlenes Video
B22
243 Sätze
Why Dating Apps Don’t Always Fix Loneliness | What We’re Really Searching For
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B210
33 Sätze
Crash Course Sex Ed Preview
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
93 Sätze
How To Read People Using Science
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B21
70 Sätze
When an Anxious Attachment Dates an Avoidant
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B24
176 Sätze
What Actually Drives Attraction (According to Psychology)
Daily ConversationWorking Adults
B24
49 Sätze
Don't Put Women on A Pedestal | Sadia Khan
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B25
178 Sätze
Esther Perel on How Dating Has Changed over the Last 20 Years
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1231 Sätze
Neuroscientist Answers Emotion Questions | Tech Support | WIRED
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
281 Sätze
Virtual love - How dangerous are AI relationships? | DW Documentary
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B23
278 Sätze
The Dating Rules Manipulators Hope You Ignore
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
B22
120 Sätze
why we should fall in love slowly...
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
108 Sätze
How to Beat Sexually Intrusive Thoughts
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
Wortschatz und Sprechhinweise zu dieser Lektion
Dieses Video enthält 237 Sätze und 3350 Wörter zum Nachsprechen. Der gesprochene Teil dauert 19:29. Der Sprecher spricht in natürlichem Tempo, etwa 172 Wörter pro Minute, ähnlich wie im Alltagsgespräch. 87 % der Wörter gehören zu den 3.000 häufigsten im Englischen, der Wortschatz ist also leicht zu verfolgen.
Wichtiger Wortschatz in diesem Video
15 lernenswerte Wörter aus dem Video, mit Aussprache und Bedeutung:
| Wort | Aussprache | Bedeutung |
|---|---|---|
| attraction Substantiv | /əˈtɹækʃn̩/ | Anziehung, Anziehungskraft |
| anxious Adjektiv | /ˈæŋkʃəs/ | ängstlich, besorgt |
| interact Verb | /ɪn.təˈɹækt/ | interagieren |
| romantic Adjektiv | /ɹoʊˈmæn(t)ɪk/ | romantisch |
| necessarily Adverb | /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/ | notwendigerweise, nötig |
| casual Adjektiv | /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/ | zufällig, beiläufig |
| orbit Substantiv | /ˈɔɹ.bɪt/ | Umlaufbahn, Orbit |
| argue Verb | /ˈɑɹ.ɡju/ | diskutieren, erörtern |
| versus | /ˈvɝsəs/ | gegen, im Gegensatz zu |
| rejection Substantiv | /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/ | Ablehnung |
| commitment Substantiv | /kəˈmɪtmənt/ | Verbindlichkeit, Obligo |
| ghost Substantiv | /ɡoʊst/ | Gespenst, Geist |
| chemistry Substantiv | /ˈkɛm.ɪ.stɹi/ | Chemie |
| pregnancy Substantiv | /ˈpɹɛɡnənsi/ | Schwangerschaft |
| invest Verb | /ɪnˈvɛst/ | investieren |
Phrasal Verbs, die du hören wirst
| Wort | Aussprache | Bedeutung |
|---|---|---|
| put up with Verb | in Kauf nehmen, hinnehmen | |
| back down Verb | nachgeben, eine Rückzieher machen | |
| back out Verb | sich zurückziehen, aussteigen | |
| bring up Verb | erwähnen, mit etwas kommen / ankommen | |
| come across Verb | wirken, vorkommen | |
| come around Verb | /kʌ.məˈɹaʊnd/ | einlenken |
| come up Verb | erscheinen | |
| find out Verb | herausfinden, erfahren |
Aussprache, auf die du achten solltest
Der Sprecher verwendet 49 Kurzformen und abgeschwächte Formen, zum Beispiel don't, you're, we're. Sprich sie in der kurzen Form, so wie du sie hörst.
- Die „th“-Laute: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, mathematics /mæθ(.ə)ˈmæt.ɪks/, ethical /ˈɛθɪkəl/, threaten /ˈθɹɛt.n̩/, threesome /ˈθɹi.səm/
- Die Laute „sh“ und „zh“: attraction /əˈtɹækʃn̩/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, casual /ˈkæʒ(u)əl/, rejection /ɹɪˈd͡ʒɛkʃən/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/
- Lange Wörter – auf die Betonung achten: necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, potentially /pəˈtɛnʃ(ə)li/, biological /ˌbaɪ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪ.kəl/, compatible /kəmˈpæt.ə.bəl/, evolutionary /ˌiː.vəˈluː.ʃən.ɛɹ.i/
So übst du mit diesem Video
- Höre dir das ganze Video einmal an, ohne zu sprechen, und notiere die Wörter, die du nicht kennst.
- Beginne mit 0,75-facher Geschwindigkeit, sprich Satz für Satz nach und wechsle zur normalen Geschwindigkeit, sobald es leichtfällt.
- Nimm dich auf und vergleiche mit dem Original; achte dabei auf Wörter wie attraction, anxious, interact.
Grammatik in diesem Video
Die Strukturen, die der Sprecher am häufigsten verwendet, mit den genauen Worten aus dem Video:
| Struktur | Im Video |
|---|---|
| Relativsätze who / which + Satz – eine Zusatzinformation über eine Person oder Sache | men who are · person who would · manipulation, which is |
| Present Perfect have/has + Partizip Perfekt – eine vergangene Handlung, die jetzt noch wichtig ist | have approached · has happened · have developed |
| Passiv be + Partizip Perfekt – wichtig ist, was geschieht, nicht wer es tut | are connected · be born · being met |
Was ist die Shadowing-Technik?
Shadowing ist eine wissenschaftlich fundierte Sprachlerntechnik, die ursprünglich für die professionelle Dolmetscherausbildung entwickelt und durch den Polyglotten Dr. Alexander Arguelles populär gemacht wurde. Die Methode ist einfach aber wirkungsvoll: Du hörst englisches Audio von Muttersprachlern und wiederholst es sofort laut — wie ein Schatten, der dem Sprecher mit nur 1–2 Sekunden Verzögerung folgt. Anders als passives Hören oder Grammatikübungen zwingt Shadowing dein Gehirn und deine Mundmuskulatur, gleichzeitig echte Sprachmuster zu verarbeiten und zu reproduzieren. Studien zeigen, dass es Aussprachegenauigkeit, Intonation, Rhythmus, verbundene Sprache, Hörverständnis und Sprechflüssigkeit signifikant verbessert — was es zu einer der effektivsten Methoden für die IELTS Speaking-Vorbereitung und reale englische Kommunikation macht.