Shadowing Practice: It’s Time to Stop Calling Suffering Love - Learn English Speaking with Video
Elige un modo de práctica
Cada modo abre una sala de práctica a pantalla completa.
193 oraciones
Si las oraciones son demasiado cortas o largas, haz clic en Editar para ajustarlas.
1
Love is one of those impossibly complex subjects to do justice to, because it sits at the centre, at the core of how we experience life itself.
2
Every day, whether we are conscious of it or not, we are reaching for love.
3
We are offering it, chasing it, withholding it or trying to prove that we deserve it.
4
It's the crux of our humanity.
5
And yet, for something so central, it remains wildly contentious.
6
The more we try to encapsulate it, the further it seems to drift.
7
I've always wondered why we can never seem to agree on a single definition of love.
8
Every time you see some sort of content or discussion about love, there's like a hundred people under it arguing about who is right and who is wrong.
9
And I believe it's because love borrows consciousness.
10
It inherits the internal weather of the giver.
11
People shaped by their beliefs, their pain, their past, their projections.
12
And this includes us.
13
So of course we don't agree.
14
We define love based on who we are, what we lack or maybe what we believe we've been denied.
15
That's why when someone in conflict with themselves offers you love, what you're most likely receiving is a residue of that conflict.
16
And this is the kind of love that jolts a healthy nervous system.
17
It feels like both sugar and poison.
18
If you don't leave, or in the case of children and highly vulnerable people, if you can't leave, you may spend decades trying to expel that love from your soul.
19
For someone searching for salvation outside of themselves, love will always look like rescue.
20
And what they offer in return won't be connection.
21
It will be a performance designed to meet their own emptiness.
22
This is heaven for the person who only knows the kind of love that requires their utility.
23
They feel loved when they are fixing, when they are needed, when they are sacrificing.
24
Together they create a cycle, an ecosystem of codependency disguised as care.
25
These are the kind of people who rush to my comments to correct me.
26
What do you know, Pearl?
27
You clearly don't understand love.
28
What do you know?
29
Love is sacrifice.
30
Love is pain.
31
You give everything, even if you don't get anything back.
32
And I think to myself, ah, what you're describing isn't love.
33
It's martyrdom.
34
It's bondage.
35
It's an addiction to erosion.
36
And then you look at people who have emptied themselves of the poisons that distort love or who were perhaps lucky enough to be received into the world by gatekeepers, primary caregivers or communities who have done or are doing the work.
37
Those people offer you something completely different, something steady and alive.
38
They offer love that does not sting.
39
They've learned the most integral truth to become a vessel of pure and true love.
40
You must have a mutualistic, symbiotic relationship with it.
41
While it takes root in your body, it must nourish you as much as it asks you to give.
42
It cannot empty you.
43
It cannot hollow you out.
44
But for that to happen, you must allow it to first cleanse you of everything within you that could distort it.
45
To become a clear channel, you must first become both student and beneficiary.
46
To be a student of love is to unlearn everything you think you know about it.
47
It's asking where your concept of it came from, who it came from and what it truly serves.
48
To be its beneficiary is to let love tend to you before you rush to perform it for others.
49
Too many of us want to give before we've received, to pour before we've been filled.
50
That's how we've ended up with a series of broken people breaking others in the name of love.
51
Now I could sit here and pretend I figured it all out but that would make me a liar.
52
I wasn't introduced to love in its pure form.
53
I've had to rewire my understanding of it piece by piece and I'm still learning.
54
Because if you've never received real love, never seen it modeled for you, how do you become a true vessel of it?
55
How do you carry something you've never held?
56
And more importantly, how do you benefit from it so that what you offer isn't laced with need or survival?
57
Over the years I've ruminated on these questions again and again and I think my breakthrough moment happened for me while I was watching a film.
58
Honestly, I can't remember which one it was but I remember the feeling.
59
Through the struggles and the dysfunction and the chaos that was being purported to be love as in most films of that genre, I recognized a sinking feeling in my gut.
60
The same feeling I had held and felt for the first 20-ish years of my life and I came to this conclusion.
61
If I take away the beautiful soundtrack of this well-crafted film, the close-ups, the cinematic pining and breathlessness and the physical attractiveness of these characters, this thing that I'm watching right now is the romantic mirror of the kind of love that made me incredibly ill.
62
And then four simple words dropped into my spirit.
63
Love is so soft.
64
As someone who tends to lean towards logic, I immediately had a rebuttal.
65
But sometimes it has to be tough.
66
It's not easy, you know?
67
And again, an answer returned, yes.
68
But even when love requires you to do the hard thing, its nature is that it will always leave its vessels more grounded, more fulfilled, more nurtured.
69
It does not subtract from you, it does not displace you.
70
If the outcome is depletion and damage, that's not love.
71
For that reason, love is always soft, even when it is fierce.
72
That was a revelation that got me to start examining everything we are sold as love, loyalty, selflessness, sacrifice, possessiveness, endurance, submission, dependency.
73
But when you zoom in on these things, you realize that so much of it is just mimicry, wearing the face of love but wounding you in its name.
74
And make no mistake, that mimicry is not coincidence.
75
It's curated.
76
It's convenient for systems of power to package suffering as sacred.
77
When martyrdom is labeled as the highest form of love, it becomes easier to control women, to condition children, vulnerable people, to glorify hustle and burnout, and to shame people into staying where they are no longer growing.
78
If you can convince someone that love means losing or minimizing themselves, you can make them disappear without an overt act of violence.
79
They become a silent weapon for their own destruction.
80
And when that kind of love is all you've ever known, you begin to serve it quietly, loyally, blindly.
81
Without awareness, many of us have become disciples of this violence.
82
I think one of the first things that I had to challenge in relation to love was this idea of loyalty.
83
Loyalty has to do with duty.
84
And while love can evoke duty and responsibility, duty and responsibility can exist and be enforced without love.
85
When we observe reality, we see that the expectation of loyalty has time and time again been used to detain and punish people.
86
When misplaced, when demanded by an agent of chaos, pay attention, loyalty becomes a tool for annihilation, a weapon dressed as a virtue.
87
The first person I am loyal to is myself.
88
And I expect the people in my life to remain loyal first and foremost to themselves too.
89
I like people who like themselves.
90
I respect people who respect themselves.
91
I want to be close to people who won't betray me or hurt me, not because they like me, no, but because that's just who they are.
92
The kind of people who wouldn't harm or betray a stranger on the streets either.
93
They are loyal to their own creed, their own way of being.
94
And that in turn makes them trustworthy because it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their relationship with themselves.
95
I don't need to micromanage their behavior.
96
I just have to trust myself and then trust them to be themselves.
97
And this changes everything.
98
It means that when I enter relationships with people like this, our love, our bond isn't built on holes or wounds we are hoping to patch through one another, but on a mutual commitment to care for ourselves first and to allow that care to inform how we nurture our union.
99
Nobody disappears.
100
Nobody diminishes.
101
We all stay whole.
102
Imagine what the world would be, could be, if instead of searching for people to give us something, we sought after those people who already embodied the values we hold sacred, not as a promise, but as a natural way of being.
103
When you are loyal to yourself, you don't need to chase loyalty in other people.
104
No, you simply observe.
105
Are they loyal to themselves?
106
Because someone who can't honor their own truths will never honor yours.
107
I don't need anybody to swear loyalty to me.
108
The hell? I just need to know that they are anchored in who they are and that they will show up from that place.
109
Simple. The second thing I had to challenge was this idea that the nature of love is selfless.
110
Ooh, this is a big one.
111
And while I understand the appeal, selflessness sounds generous, even divine.
112
But when we look at the results of so-called selfless love, we often find a trail of emptiness.
113
The recipients, depending on who they are, feel smothered, sometimes indebted.
114
If they are abusive, they take advantage.
115
Then you see the giver, very sweet on the outside, but beneath the surface, they are simmering, bubbling with unmet needs, repressed desires, and resentment.
116
Because when you strip away your identity in the name of love, when you abandon yourself while calling it selfless, it's not love you are offering, it's captivity.
117
If you want a real-life example of this, gather around all those people whose parents and caregivers were saying things like, you are my everything.
118
I do, I do everything for you.
119
I gave up everything for you.
120
I will die for you.
121
Those people whose parents supposedly stayed in abusive relationships for them, ask them if that version of love was healing or in fact haunting.
122
I'm almost certain the latter is the case.
123
I know this may be uncomfortable to hear.
124
I tell you, it's uncomfortable to say.
125
But I'm convinced that the concept of selfless love in the way it's most often used, finds its strongest benefactors in abusive people and institutions.
126
This is where we must learn to distinguish between choiceful selfless giving and selfless love.
127
You want to be someone who can, from a place of awareness and knowledge, give selflessly where needed, but you never want to love selflessly.
128
Because if love excludes you, it cannot be love.
129
It can't. No.
130
No. To love in a way that heals rather than harms, in a way that does not require the erosion of any participating entities, you must come to understand that love in its truest form can only be extended.
131
And to extend anything, your care, your presence, your grace, you must first possess it.
132
You must know it.
133
You must live it.
134
You cannot offer wholeness if you've never claimed it for yourself.
135
Because to offer anything consciously, to give it with integrity, you must first be in relationship with it.
136
To extend a hand to you, I must be aware of my hand and its purpose.
137
This is why a chunk of ancient wisdom points to loving others as we love ourselves, to treating people with the kindness we expect.
138
It's not just poetic fluff.
139
It's a law, a law rooted in our veins.
140
This is the reason why my first instinct every single time for people who don't love themselves is to run for the hills.
141
And I'm sorry to say, every time I've ignored that instinct, I've suffered.
142
Every single time.
143
Because if you treat yourself carelessly, you surely would do the same to me.
144
Not always intentionally, but certainly eventually.
145
You cannot give what you do not possess.
146
And even if you're somehow the exception, somehow capable of offering sweetness despite your own starvation, you will inevitably make me your lifeline.
147
And that is dangerous.
148
Because love does not bind.
149
Love expands you.
150
It frees you.
151
It releases both the vessel and the people who come in contact with it.
152
The kinds of love that leave people broken rarely ever come from villains.
153
They come from unconscious people.
154
People who have no connection to their vessel, no commitment to themselves.
155
People who confuse devotion with depletion.
156
People who offer their ache instead of their essence.
157
I believe one of the best ways to understand a subject is to identify the things that hinder it.
158
We all know that love is kind and compassionate, but those two things are not possible without boundaries.
159
The kindest people in the world are those who know where they start and end and where others begin.
160
I cannot do what those people who have come before me haven't done by pretending that I've decoded this whole thing.
161
Not at all.
162
I'm just inviting you.
163
When in doubt, ask.
164
Does this help me grow?
165
Us grow? Them grow?
166
Does this nourish these bonds and the hearts that exist within it?
167
That's the question love will ask.
168
I think of the wording of things like ride or die and remain baffled as to why we continue to link love to death and demise when its nature is life-giving.
169
Why do I have to die for my love to pack a punch?
170
This is the foundation of systems that benefit from self-neglect.
171
You hear it in the tales of ever -giving people who did everything for everyone yet the stories are never about their personhood, only about their utility.
172
But of course this sounds like love to a person who has no concept of themselves outside of being a tool.
173
So hearing me say things like you are worthy simply because you exist becomes triggering because if they have to work their hearts and bones off to be valued, how dare I suggest that others can get it just by being?
174
How dare I, this random woman on the internet, suggest that they are wasting their time?
175
I get it. But why isn't love ever framed as ride and rise?
176
I'll walk beside you through your mess but I won't become collateral damage.
177
I'll witness your pain but I won't bleed just to prove that I see it.
178
And you won't expect me to either because love is as love does.
179
This isn't a death pact.
180
We are committed to rising together, to living.
181
There's one thing you take from this episode, I hope it is this.
182
Consider that love is not I would die for you.
183
Love is I will live not for you but for me.
184
Not because you don't matter but so that you never have to carry the burden of death, the ache of demise as proof of love.
185
I will live fully, freely, completely as a testament to the transformative nature of love so that when you look at me you might dare to do the same.
186
I hope you see that love comes without shackles.
187
I hope you fly just as I do.
188
I hope you find a home within yourself just as I have.
189
And when you need some rest, come rest beside me because I've never stopped filling my own cup and have enough overflow for you to tap into.
190
This love I carry does not require your death or mine.
191
This love begs us to live.
192
As always, it's been an absolute pleasure.
193
My name is Pearl and I'll see you in the next video.
Descargar app
Todo lo que necesitas para hablar con fluidez
Pronunciación con IAEvalúa cada oración
Práctica de IPADomina cada sonido
VocabularioConstruye tu banco de palabras
Juego de vocabularioAprende mientras juegas
Mismo canal
C11
stop waiting for permission to live your life
University StudentsWorking Adults
B22
You’re Not Obsessed—You’re Avoiding Your Life
Business EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C15
Nobody Teaches Women This About Love (And It Costs Us Years)
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C15
You Don’t Want Love—You Want to Be Picked So You Feel Worthy
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
FOR YOU
Recomendar Video
C15
70 oraciones
What True Love Really Is
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
26 oraciones
Dealing With Painful Feelings
British AccentUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
150 oraciones
Why We Can't Save Those We Love
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1297 oraciones
The More You Heal, The Less You Chase People – Carl Jung
Business EnglishUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C121
50 oraciones
Why Hurt People Hurt People
British AccentDaily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
56 oraciones
love without attachment
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C13
336 oraciones
the one who loves always wins even if it ends 🌀 eros, faith, the broken middle
University StudentsWorking Adults
C11
73 oraciones
TED Ed Vietsub Tình yêu là gì Brad Troeger
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
229 oraciones
The love You Attract Reveals Who You Are | Carl Jung
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
55 oraciones
the desire to simply not exist
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
281 oraciones
it's okay to love bad people.
University StudentsWorking Adults
Vocabulario y notas de pronunciación para esta lección
Este vídeo tiene 193 frases y 2671 palabras para practicar shadowing. La parte hablada dura 17:41. El hablante habla a un ritmo natural de unas 151 palabras por minuto, cercano a una conversación cotidiana. El 83 % de las palabras está entre las 3.000 más comunes del inglés; conviene repasar el resto antes de empezar.
Vocabulario clave de este vídeo
15 palabras menos comunes del vídeo, con su pronunciación y significado:
- loyalty /ˈlɔɪəlti/ (sustantivo) — lealtad. The state of being loyal; fidelity.
- vessel /ˈvɛsəl/ (sustantivo) — embarcación, barco. Any craft designed for transportation on or in water, such as a ship, boat, or submarine.
- loyal /ˈlɔɪəl/ (adjetivo) — leal. Having or demonstrating undivided and constant support for someone or something.
- dare /dɛ(ə)ɹ/ (verbo) — osar, atreverse. To have enough courage (to do something).
- abusive /əˈbju.sɪv/ (adjetivo) — abusivo. Prone to treat someone badly by coarse, insulting words or other maltreatment; vituperative; reproachful; scurrilous.
- rush /ɹʌʃ/ (verbo) — correr, apurarse. To hurry; to perform a task with great haste, often not properly or without thinking carefully.
- chase /t͡ʃeɪs/ (verbo) — perseguir, asenderear. To follow at speed.
- commitment /kəˈmɪtmənt/ (sustantivo) — compromiso, promesa. The act of sending a legislative bill to committee for review.
- extend /ɛkˈstɛnd/ (verbo) — extenderse, ampliarse. To increase in extent.
- pretend /pɹəˈtɛnd/ (verbo) — aparentar, hacer de. To speak or behave so as to give a false or simulated appearance.
- sacrifice /ˈsæk.ɹɪ.faɪs/ (sustantivo) — sacrificio. Originally, the killing (and often burning) of a human being or an animal as an offering to a deity; later, also the offering of an object to a deity.
- chaos /ˈkeɪˌɑs/ (sustantivo) — caos. The unordered state of matter in classical accounts of cosmogony.
- utility /juːˈtɪlɪti/ (sustantivo) — utilidad. The state or condition of being useful; usefulness.
- convince /kənˈvɪns/ (verbo) — convencer, llevar al huerto. To make someone believe, or feel sure about something, especially by using logic, argument or evidence.
- sacred /ˈseɪkɹɪd/ (adjetivo) — sagrado, sacro. Characterized by solemn religious ceremony or religious use, especially, in a positive sense; consecrated, made holy.
Phrasal verbs que vas a escuchar
- come from (verbo) — ser de. To have as one's origin, birthplace or nationality.
- look at (verbo) — mirar, funar. To observe or watch.
- build on /bɪldɑn/ (verbo) — construir / edificar sobre, aprovechar. To add additional elements or components to (a framework, a concept, a device, etc.) in order to extend it.
- give up (verbo) — rendirse, entregar. To surrender (someone or something); to inform on (someone).
- take away /ˌteɪk əˈweɪ/ (verbo) — quitar. To remove something and put it in a different place.
Pronunciación a tener en cuenta
El hablante usa 54 contracciones y formas reducidas, como don't, I've, I'm. Dilas en su forma corta, tal como las oyes.
- Los sonidos de “th”: worthy /ˈwɝ.ði/, beneath /bɪˈniːθ/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, breakthrough /ˈbɹeɪk.θɹuː/, trustworthy /ˈtɹʌst.wɜː.ði/
- Los sonidos de “sh” y “zh”: rush /ɹʌʃ/, erosion /ɪˈɹəʊʒən/, conclusion /kənˈkluːʒən/, destruction /dɪsˈtɹʌkʃən/, exception /əkˈsɛpʃən/
- Palabras largas — cuida el acento: utility /juːˈtɪlɪti/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, humanity /hjuˈmænɪti/
Cómo practicar con este vídeo
- Escucha el vídeo entero una vez sin hablar y anota las palabras que no conoces.
- Empieza a velocidad 0,75×, haz shadowing frase por frase y vuelve a la velocidad normal cuando te resulte fácil.
- Grábate y compara con el original, prestando atención a palabras como loyalty, vessel, loyal.
Gramática en este vídeo
Las estructuras que más usa el hablante, con las palabras exactas del vídeo:
| Estructura | En el vídeo |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + participio pasado — una acción pasada que sigue importando ahora | I've always wondered · we've been denied · have emptied |
| Voz pasiva be + participio pasado — importa lo que ocurre, no quién lo hace | we've been denied · are needed · be received |
| Oraciones de relativo who / which + oración — información extra sobre una persona o cosa | person who only · people who rush · people who have |
¿Qué es la Técnica de Shadowing?
Shadowing es una técnica de aprendizaje de idiomas respaldada por la ciencia, desarrollada originalmente para la formación de intérpretes profesionales y popularizada por el políglota Dr. Alexander Arguelles. El método es simple pero poderoso: escuchas audio en inglés nativo y lo repites en voz alta de inmediato, como una sombra que sigue al hablante con solo 1-2 segundos de retraso. A diferencia de la escucha pasiva o los ejercicios de gramática, el shadowing obliga a tu cerebro y músculos de la boca a procesar y reproducir simultáneamente patrones de habla reales. Las investigaciones muestran que mejora significativamente la precisión de la pronunciación, la entonación, el ritmo, el habla conectada, la comprensión auditiva y la fluidez al hablar, convirtiéndola en una de las metodologías más efectivas para la preparación del IELTS Speaking y la comunicación en inglés en el mundo real.