Pratique du Shadowing: 10 Unspoken Rules Nordic People Ignore To Keep Life Simple - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec YouTube

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A lot of the way we live comes from rules that nobody really says out loud.

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A lot of the way we live comes from rules that nobody really says out loud.

You learn them slowly just by watching how people behave, what is considered polite, what is considered strange, what people praise, what people judge,

what people quietly expect from each other.

But I don't think all of these rules and ways of behaving make life better.

Some of them just become things people follow because everyone around them seems to be following them too.

And I've realized that some of the rules that are common in many other places in the world

don't seem to have as much power here in Finland or the Nordic countries in general.

So in this video, I want to share 10 common rules, ideas or habits that Nordic people often ignore to keep life simpler.

The first one is that your comfort comes before a shared space.

And this mindset often shows up in very small ways.

So small that you don't probably even notice them at first.

Like maybe someone is watching videos on their phone in a train without headphones or leaving a coffee cup somewhere because, well, someone probably cleans this place anyway.

Or maybe someone is standing in the middle of the street completely unaware that everyone else has to move around them.

And of course, one person doing this once is not the end of the world, but public spaces are shaped by repeated small actions.

Like when enough people act like shared space is nobody's responsibility, it slowly starts to feel like nobody's space.

People use it, but they do not really care about it or other people in it.

In here, this kind of behavior is not only seen as annoying, it can feel like a lack of basic awareness,

like you do not really understand that your habits are touching other people's lives.

You're making yourself too large in a space that belongs to everyone.

So here we believe that if everyone uses the space, everyone carries a small part of the responsibility for it.

Because shared space does not stay blessed by accident.

We all have to care for it.

So lowering your voice matters.

Taking your trash with you matters.

Leaving a place better than you found it matters.

So don't treat public space like a private space.

Number two, being right matters more than peace and forgiveness.

And I understand why this one is so tempting, because when you know that you are right, it feels almost wrong to step back.

It feels like if you compromise, the other person gets away with something.

Or if you let it go too early, maybe it looks like you are weak or like the whole thing did not matter.

But this is where being right can slowly become its own form of ego.

Because the facts may be on your side and your frustration may be even completely valid and understandable.

But if the whole goal becomes proving that you were right and the other person was wrong, the actual solution starts moving further away.

And you can see this in normal life all the time.

Like when a small disagreement becomes personal or

when somebody keeps correcting another person in a way that is technically accurate but also kind of humiliating.

And at some point the question is no longer what would actually help here, but how do I make sure that I win this thing?

How do I make sure that they feel like they were defeated?

In many Nordic settings, this kind of thing is seen very heavy.

Turning every disagreement into a battle does not make you look strong or passionate.

Sometimes it just makes you look unnecessarily polemic, like you cannot handle conflict without making it bigger than it needs to be.

So that's why we often try to handle things in a practical way when possible.

A funny example of this is the Merket island, this tiny island between Finland and Sweden.

The island is shared by both countries and Finland built a lighthouse there on the highest point in 1885.

But later it turned out that the lighthouse had actually been built on the Swedish side of the island.

And this is the part that I find interesting.

The thing was not solved immediately.

For a long time the lighthouse just stayed there.

Like because in practice it was doing what it was supposed to do.

It held ships and it was already built

and it was not like anyone could easily move a lighthouse from one side to another.

But it was on the wrong side and this could have become a strange national argument.

Like Finland could have said well we built it so obviously it is ours.

Sweden could have said well it is on our side so no it now belongs to us.

Both sides could have turned this into a question of pride

and borders and who was technically right but instead in 1985 they decided to change the border instead.

They drew this strange curved line through the island

so the lighthouse became part of Finland

and Sweden received an equal amount of land in return

and the coastline ownership then stayed the same so fishing rights were not disturbed at all.

So nobody got some dramatic victory from this, nobody had to be embarrassed.

The border just became a little weird so the relationship did not have to become weird.

And I like this story very much because it's such a creative solution in the best way.

Like it's practical, fair enough and it allows everyone to move on

and sometimes that is the wiser thing not proving your point until there is nothing left

but finding the solution

that lets life continue with less ego another rule nordic people often ignore is this idea

that you should seem warm all the time and i don't mean

that warmth is bad of course we like warm people i think we all like

when someone is kind and easy to be around but sometimes there's this pressure to look friendly all the time,

act more excited than you actually feel, and every little interaction has to become super nice somehow.

We don't believe in that, because after a while that can get really tiring, especially if you are a bit more introverted,

or if you are having a normal day where you are not unhappy, but you are just also not full of energy.

And I think for some people this is where the Nordic way can be misunderstood from the outside,

because it is not that people do not care or that being called is somehow the goal.

It is more

that warmth does not always have to be shown in this big visible way like in some other countries and cultures.

Sometimes it shows through not disturbing people

or through saying what you mean instead of saying more than you mean just to make the moment feel nicer.

And I think this connects quite naturally to the next rule

which is the idea that a verbal promise does not really count.

Because if we are used to saying things just to make the moment feel nicer, then words can start to become quite cheap.

Someone says yes, but it does not fully mean yes.

Someone says they will do something, but everyone kinda expects there might be an excuse later or a delay,

or maybe they will just back out if it becomes inconvenient for them.

And I understand that life changes, plans change, and nobody can keep every little promise perfectly

but there is still a difference between being flexible and treating your own words like they do not really matter.

Here in the high trust culture that we have built your word carries a lot of weight.

If you say yes people assume you actually mean yes.

If you borrow something people expect you to return it.

If you say you will do your part the whole system may be built around the idea

that you are actually going to do it.

A good example of this is the like the open wilderness hut system.

Here in Finland there are huts everywhere where hikers can stay for free

and many of these places are not built around someone watching over you all the time.

There are no cameras or regular maintenance by some company.

You go there, you use the space, you use firewood carefully, you respect other people's peace

and then you are expected to leave it properly for the next person

so you clean after yourself and you bring firewood inside

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so the next person does not arrive to an empty hut

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and i like that

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because it shows how trust is not just some nice abstract

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value it becomes very practical a free hut can only stay free

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if people do not treat that freedom carelessly so say yes

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when you mean yes say no when you mean no and do your part even if nobody is watching.

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Number five, you have to make sure people notice you.

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And this one feels very modern because so much of life now pushes us to make ourselves stand out.

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If people do not see what you are doing, it can almost feel like it matters less.

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And I understand this, of course, because we live in a world where being seen often helps.

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It can help with work, with opportunities, with creativity, with connection.

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So I would be lying if I said that attention never matters.

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But I think the problem starts when attention becomes the thing that gives your life value.

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When something only feels meaningful after other people have noticed it.

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When doing the thing well is no longer enough

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because you also need to make sure that everyone knows that you did it.

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In many Nordic settings, trying too hard to be noticed makes you look a bit uncomfortable, a little bit awkward.

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We have a stronger respect for being useful than being loud

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about yourself for being the kind of person people can trust even

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if you are not constantly explaining your own importance and i find

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that to be important because it reminds me

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that you can do good things without building your whole identity around being seen

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and this leads quite naturally into another nordic rule people often ignore

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which is the idea that being ordinary is not enough it is very easy to start believing

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that normal life is something that you need to rise above.

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Like success should not only improve your life, it should somehow separate you from other people.

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You should be treated differently

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and slowly become the kind of person who does not have to live by the same rules as everyone else.

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I think one very good example of the opposite mindset is our income-based speeding fines.

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Here in Finland certain fines depend on your income

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because the idea is that the consequence should actually mean something to the person receiving it.

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A small fixed fine can be painful for someone with an average income, but for someone extremely wealthy, the same fine might be almost nothing.

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So because of this system, a couple of years ago,

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a wealthy businessman here called Anders Wykleff was fined 121 000 euros or 137 000 dollars for speeding.

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He was driving 82 kilometers per hour in a 50 zone and the story spread because the number sounds almost unreal.

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But the deeper message is quite simple.

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Just being rich does not make the rule small for you.

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In the Nordic mindset, there is still respect for staying grounded, practical and normal even after you succeed.

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Status should not become entitlement and ordinary life is not something to be ashamed of at all.

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Number seven, setting boundaries is rude.

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I think thinking like this is quite common in personal life

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because so many people feel like saying no needs a good excuse.

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Like you cannot simply be tired or want to stay home or need a bit of space.

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You feel like you have to explain yourself properly so the other person does not take it personally.

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And even then there can be this guilt like maybe you are now being difficult.

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The Nordic mindset on the other hand is that privacy is more accepted.

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Personal space and time is not always seen as rejection.

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A person being a bit more private does not automatically mean that something is wrong.

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And if someone says no, it is often much better to respect that than to keep pushing for some explanation.

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Like overstepping can sometimes feel more uncomfortable than the boundary itself.

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Asking too many personal things too quickly or expecting instant closeness or answers can feel

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relationships where there's room to breathe a little bit, like where you do not have to constantly be in contact by messaging or constantly meeting.

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You can just go through a busy season of life, maybe not talk for a while, and then when you meet again, it still feels normal.

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You just continue from where you left off.

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Then there's this belief that extra effort is something to avoid.

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And I understand why this mindset is so easy to have because convenience feels very good in the moment.

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Like for example driving feels easier than cycling or ordering something feels easier than walking to the shop.

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Taking the elevator feels much easier than taking the stairs. And

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if it's I don't know raining outside is not a nice

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weather staying indoors is much nicer idea than to go

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And many times there's nothing wrong with choosing the easier and nicer options.

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Sometimes life is just already full enough.

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But I think comfort should not be the default answer to everything.

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And I think that is one thing Nordic simplicity often gets right.

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Simple does not always mean choosing whatever removes most effort.

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Sometimes simple means choosing the option that keeps you connected to your own body and your mind, your surroundings.

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Copenhagen is a good example of this.

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Cycling there is not treated some heroic fitness identity.

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People are not all trying to prove that they are cyclists.

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They are just going to work, school, shops and normal everyday places.

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The Visit Copenhagen organization actually calculated that almost half of all trips to work or school there are by bike,

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which means movement is built into daily life instead of being something you only do later at the gym.

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And this is practical effort built into a normal life.

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And maybe that is a helpful reminder that the goal is not to

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remove every bit of effort but to keep the kind of effort that keeps life working for you long term.

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Another rule Nordic people often ignore is the idea that drama, conflict and hatred are what make life interesting.

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And I have to say this is one of those things that feel normal because it is everywhere.

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In real life people follow conflicts that have nothing to do with them.

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Like someone has an argument and suddenly everyone wants to know what happened, who was right, who was wrong, who said what.

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And because of this tendency then the media industry has started to use it to make a lot of money.

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Like we have all these reality shows that are often built around conflict.

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We have comment sections that are full of people attacking each other.

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Drama videos keeping you watching because someone is angry, exposed, embarrassed or being pulled apart in public.

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And of course, after a while, it can start to feel like something has to be wrong for something to be interesting.

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But what this causes is that you spend so much energy on people and on stories that you don't even know.

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You just feed this negative energy for your mind.

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And of course, Nordic people are not above this.

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People still gossip.

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People still watch dramatic things.

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But I think there's also more awareness to enjoy simple things without needing any conflict around them.

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A funny example is that the Finnish national TV keeps hosting these slow nature streams with birds,

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seals and puppies.

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Nothing huge happens there.

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The whole point is just to watch something simple and natural unfold.

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And tens, if not hundreds of thousands of people watch those streams because people like that stuff.

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And that leads to the next one, which is the idea that nature is just scenery.

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some people relate to nature through just what it can give them

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but in the nordic mindset nature is often more than something

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that has to be comfortable

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or useful before it matters it is simply part of life like i have all these flies

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and mosquitoes and all this around me

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and some of in some of my nordic videos people complain about

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that like how can you stay there that seems so uncomfortable

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and maybe for some people it might be even Nordic people

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but for me it is not because for me this is just how it's supposed to be.

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I cannot complain about something that is kind of bigger than me.

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So the whole ecosystem like I don't live here in this forest but these creatures they live here.

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I need to give them that space and not just kill them with some mosquito things you know.

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So even if we live in cities even

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if we spend most of our days indoors we are still depending on the air, the water, the seasons, the soil, the forests, the animals and all these systems.

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And that is maybe the humbling part.

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Like nature does not really need us in the same way we need nature.

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We are the ones who need to remember that we belong to something bigger than our own plans and routines.

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And I think this is one of the reasons nature is so important in Nordic life.

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It keeps your feet on the ground.

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It reminds you that life is not only about what you can control buy, organize or optimize.

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Some things are simply there before you, around you and after you.

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So nature is not just where you go to relax when life becomes too much.

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It is one of the things that helps you stay alive and in the right relationship with life in the first place.

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Thank you so much for watching.

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If you would like to watch another Nordic video from me, check this one next.

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Remember to stay kind and meaningful in your own beautiful journey.

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See you in the next one.

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Ciao!

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