Pratique du Shadowing: If You're in Your 20s, Watch This BEFORE It's Too Late - Apprendre l'anglais à l'oral avec la vidéo
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We're taught so many things early in our life that we never use again.
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Think about the subjects you learned at school.
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What percentage of the subjects you studied at school do you practically use today?
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I'm guessing that percentage is quite low, but the skills I'm about to share with you today, if we had learned them that early, they would have benefited us forever.
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It's incredible to me that no one's sharing these insights, that often we don't hear them as the best pieces of advice.
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This isn't what we're being told.
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It's something that you have to read in between the lines to actually extract and implement in your life.
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Hey, everyone.
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Thank you so much for tuning in today about the seven lessons I wish I had learned sooner.
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Truly, these are seven lessons I wish I learned in my 20s, even in my teens, and I think they would have changed my life.
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They would have changed the quality of my relationships.
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They would have changed my performance at work.
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They would have changed how quickly I found my purpose.
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Now, if any of you out there are struggling with making an impact, if you're struggling with your mind, if you're struggling with anxiety or stress,
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this episode is for you.
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The first lesson I wish I'd learned sooner is the less you say, the more your words will matter.
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I always used to think that the loudest person in a room had the most power.
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That the person who talked the most had the most control.
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Until I realized the person who spoke the most was the least in control.
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They were trying to come across as likable.
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They were trying to be popular and in that attempt they were actually making it harder for them to be memorable.
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This principle, this lesson will change your life.
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The first thing it will do is it will stop you from being anxious in social settings.
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The number of us that walk into a social setting
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and try to come off as interesting and important only to leave feeling insignificant
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and irrelevant to the conversation if you realize that being silent is not a weakness.
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Being silent is a strength.
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Why?
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Because you can listen.
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It means when you respond, people will also be able to tell that you took in what they say.
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See, most of us are struggling, not because we don't listen, but because we're thinking about what we want to say while we're listening.
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Because of that, we don't even digest what someone is sharing.
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So when we open our mouth, that person feels disconnected and distant.
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So firstly, it will remove that anxiety and nervousness when you're at a party, a social setting, a work event, whatever it may be.
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The second thing is you get the opportunity to be interested,
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which is even more important than being interesting.
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People love to share and answer great questions.
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When you get good at asking good questions, people feel good.
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They react in a good way.
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They appreciate it.
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Now, most of us, when we ask questions, we ask things like, how was your day?
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That person has been asked that for so many years in their life that they have a rehearsed, regurgitated answer.
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Something like good, fine, okay, blah.
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Right?
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Now, you may be a little more bold and talk about the weather.
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That's boring too.
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That person has been asked about the weather for years.
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Now, you may have heard, let's ask someone what's exciting for them.
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That can sometimes feel quite challenging for that person.
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Here's what I'm going to share with you.
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If you're going to ask something, share your thoughts on it first.
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Say, I've been watching this really cool TV show.
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What's your thoughts on it?
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Have you seen it?
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They go, no, I haven't seen it.
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And they say, tell me about it.
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Now you've actually been asked to share.
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A lot of us say so much when we're not asked unsolicited advice
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and unsolicited conversation is potentially the hardest to hold someone's attention with
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when someone asks you a question and you respond
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that keeps their attention when you talk without letting someone else get involved we actually lose their attention The less you say,
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the more your words will matter.
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The less you complain, the more people will listen.
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The less you react, the more control you hold.
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The less you argue, the more dignity you keep.
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Speak less and mean more.
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When you walk into a room and you just start complaining about your day, complaining about your journey, complaining about the travel,
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complaining about your weekend, what does that do?
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It puts everyone into a negative space and negative environment.
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They now connect you and associate you with negative emotions.
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Even if they say, I agree, I'm sorry you went through that, I'm sorry to hear it, you have now created a contagious space for negativity.
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Save that complaining for a friend you can vent to.
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Save that complaining for someone who shares the same with you.
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When you're walking into the workplace, when you're walking into a family event, walk in and share something amazing that happened to you.
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Something that you're grateful for.
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Ask someone else what was the most memorable part of their week.
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Something beautiful that happened to them.
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All of a sudden, you're going to kickstart a chain reaction of positive events.
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In today's world of endless chatter, it's easy to believe more words mean more connection.
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But studies show the opposite.
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According to a 2014 Harvard study,
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people remember only 17 to 25 % of what they hear in conversations.
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Flood someone with words and your meaning gets lost like a drop in an ocean.
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Wise communicators know brevity creates impact.
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A student went up to his teacher and asked, what is the secret of wisdom?
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The teacher simply replied, listen.
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The student asked again, what is the secret of wisdom?
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The teacher replied, listen.
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Frustrated, the student demanded more explanation to which the teacher replied,
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if you listened, you wouldn't need more words.
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This is one of my favorite stories because it shows us that rather than thinking about what we're going to say,
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what we're thinking, evaluating, if we simply listened,
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paused and responded, we'd actually have something meaningful to say.
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The reason you don't have something meaningful to say is because you haven't listened.
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We don't listen because we're scared of the gap between listening and responding.
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But actually, if you listen and you take that time, what you say will have more value,
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more impact, and it's more likely to be remembered.
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So here's a habit, a practical habit I want to share with you.
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Before your next conversation, ask yourself, what is the essential message I want them to remember?
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Say it clearly in one or two sentences.
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So when you walk into a conversation, make it really clear to yourself, what is it I want to communicate?
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What is the essence of what I actually want to share?
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What do I want to embody?
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And let your silence add weight to your words.
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The second lesson I wish I'd learned sooner is let go or be dragged.
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Think about this.
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When you don't let go of something, it doesn't stop it doesn't pause.
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If you don't let go of a person, they don't stop changing.
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If you don't let go of a person, they don't stop living.
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If you don't let go of a person, they don't stop doing whatever it is they're doing.
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Sometimes the only way to strengthen your own relationship with yourself is to disconnect and let go of someone else.
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Think about all the times in your life where you were so attracted to someone, you just kept pursuing them.
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What happened?
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You didn't let go and you felt dragged along.
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What about when there was someone that you were dating and maybe they gave you all the signs?
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You saw all the red flags that this person wasn't right for you.
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But what did you do?
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You didn't let go and so you were dragged.
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And what about that friend who kept manipulating you? kept taking advantage of you,
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took you for granted, and you didn't let go, so you got dragged.
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It's much better when we voluntarily,
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early on, let go rather than get dragged throughout our life along with this person,
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wherever they're going, in whichever direction.
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Let go or be dragged let go or be left behind.
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Let go or be broken by what you're clinging to.
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Let go or be crushed under the weight of what's gone.
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Clutching what hurts you doesn't save you.
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It sinks you.
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Clinging to what's over doesn't preserve it.
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It poisons you.
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Holding on too long turns love into resentment, hope into suffering, memories into anchors,
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what you won't release will eventually release you, maybe even brutally.
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What you won't walk away from will drag you until you can't walk at all.
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You don't lose by letting go.
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You lose by refusing to let go.
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See, the thing is, often feels like love, but unchecked attachment is more like a chain.
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There's even science to back this up.
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Neuroscience shows that our brains literally rewire around emotional pain.
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Holding onto resentment, disappointment, or hope for change can activate the same brain regions as physical pain.
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There's another Zen story that I love.
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Two monks are walking on a beach.
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They come across a woman who's actually drowning in the ocean.
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One monk jumps into the ocean, swims out, picks her up, and brings her back to shore.
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They make sure she's okay and walk on forward.
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A few hours later, the other monk asks the monk who jumped into the ocean.
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My brother, we're monks.
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We're not supposed to touch women, let alone carry them.
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How could you do that?
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The other monk replied, I carried her to safety.
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I set her down a few hours ago.
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Why are you still carrying her?
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This story beautifully illustrates the idea that the longer you carry something, the more it weighs you down,
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the more it affects you.
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And so many of us look at letting go like failure.
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We look at letting go like we made some mistake.
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We look at letting go like we're ruining something.
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But actually letting go can be the best path forward.
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So here's a really practical step I want to take.
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Write down one grudge One disappointment Or fantasy you're clinging to
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And then ask yourself this What would happen if I set it down today?
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Imagine walking lighter for just one hour And act from
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that place Do the thought experiment You don't even have to
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do it in reality Just think about it for a moment
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If you let it down If you started applying for new jobs today rather than complaining about your current one,
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if you started to find new connections and friends instead of comparing your life to your old ones,
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if you started to allow yourself to let go of the expectations you have of others, who would you be?
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I promise you the answer is far better than you even imagine.
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And if you're scared to do it in practice, practice it first in your mind.
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The third lesson I wish I'd learned sooner was talk about
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your relationship with the person you're in a relationship with more than you talk to others.
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It's about the proportion.
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80 % of our life should be talking to that person and 20 % is talking to others to get wise counsel,
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to get advice, to get insights.
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It's a really healthy thing.
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The problem is our proportions are the opposite.
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We may spend 20 % speaking to the person we have a relationship with, and that 20 % might be filled with arguments, conflict, tension.
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And then we go and talk about it with someone else who doesn't have the power to solve it.
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This will change your life.
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If you started to spend more time talking with the person rather than talking at them,
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if you could spend more time talking with your partner than talking about your partner, your relationship will change.
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If you could spend more time talking to your partner than talking about your partner, your relationship will change.
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If you could spend more time investing in connecting with your partner than connecting with other people talking about your partner,
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your relationship will change talk about your relationship with the person
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you're in a relationship with not other people talk about your
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problems with the person you have the problem with not just
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other people talk about your needs with your partner not your friends talk to them not about them Now look,
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I get it.
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Venting can feel good in the short term.
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Brain imaging shows that expressing anger activates the brain's reward system.
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But chronically venting to friends instead of addressing issues directly creates emotional triangulation,
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a pattern that often worsens problems instead of solving them.
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There's a Zen story that I love where a man went to many neighbors to complain about his leaky roof.
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Each of them gave advice.
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Meanwhile, the leak worsened.
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Finally, one wise neighbor said, talk to your roof.
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In other words, take action where it matters.
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It's great to get advice.
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It's important to have a support system but don't forget the number one system is solving it with the person.
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So here's today's practical habit.
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If something bothers you about your relationship today, resist the urge to text some random person.
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Instead, set a time to talk to your partner, share something you appreciate about them, share where you want the relationship to go,
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and then share with kindness,
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concern, and directness how you want things to change and most importantly what you're willing to change that will change your relationship.
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Lesson four I wish I'd learned sooner was you understand who someone is
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when they're stressed not just when they're at their best.
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How many times have you met someone and you meet them at their best day?
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You don't really know who someone is until you've seen them on a bad day.
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You don't really know who someone is until you've seen them in a bad mood.
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You don't really know who someone is until someone's done something bad to them.
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It's in those moments that you realize who someone truly is, 360 degrees.
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So rather than making just snap judgments on when you meet someone in a great mood at a great time, give yourself time to get to know them.
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Give yourself time to see them in different scenarios.
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It's also not just about good and bad.
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It's about seeing who someone is when they're with their family.
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It's about seeing who someone is when they're with their friends.
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It's about who's seeing someone is with strangers.
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It's about how someone treats the waiter.
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It's about how someone treats the doorman.
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It's about how someone treats the person that they meet on the street.
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When you've seen someone in all these scenarios, you will have a healthier,
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deeper, more wholesome understanding of who they truly are.
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Don't meet someone in one environment and give it this amplified view that you assume that they're that person in every environment.
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Don't meet someone in one phase or stage of their life and assume they're going to be that in every other stage.
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See, the mind likes to make it easier.
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We like to think, oh, I know this person.
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I understand them.
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Well, here's the truth.
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You understand who someone is when they're stressed, not just when they're at their best.
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You truly understand who someone is when they're overwhelmed.
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You truly understand who someone is when things don't go their way.
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You truly understand who someone is when they hear no. You truly understand who someone is when they lose control,
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not when they have it.
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Anyone can be kind when they're comfortable.
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Anyone can be patient when they're winning.
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Anyone can be loving when everything is easy.
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But real character shows up when patience runs thin.
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Real loyalty shows up when you're not popular.
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Real respect shows up when there's nothing to gain.
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Watch who blames.
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Watch who lashes out.
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Watch who punishes and watch who stays gentle.
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Pressure doesn't create cracks.
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It exposes where they already were.
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Pay attention to who someone becomes when the easy parts fall away.
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That's who they are as well.
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That's who you're dealing with.
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That's the truth you can't ignore.
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Character isn't revealed when life is easy.
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It's tested and exposed under pressure Research from the University of Oregon Found
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that people's true traits Emerge under stress Much more consistently Than
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in calm conditions Think about it Anyone can be kind
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When things are going well for them One of my favorite
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examples of all time Is from Wayne Dyer He says when you squeeze an orange What do you get?
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You get orange juice You don't get pineapple juice.
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You don't get coconut water.
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You get orange juice.
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Because when something is squeezed, you get what's within it.
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You get what's inside.
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Some cracks reveal beauty.
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Others reveal weakness.
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Now, the goal isn't to walk away from someone because they struggle with stress.
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The goal isn't to abandon someone who struggles with challenges or feels overwhelmed.
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My point is, you just don't really know someone yet.
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So here's today's challenge and habit and experiment that I want you to practice.
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Notice how someone reacts to a small inconvenience, a traffic jam, a late order, a mistake.
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Are they gentle or harsh with themselves or with you?
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Are they patient or punishing with themselves and with you?
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Take note without judgment, but get clarity as to what you're getting involved in.
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Lesson number five that I wish I'd learned sooner is you don't get what you deserve.
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You get what you accept.
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We hear this all the time.
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I think I deserve more.
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I deserve more money.
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I deserve more love.
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I deserve more respect.
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And we walk around sometimes internally feeling we're not getting what we deserve.
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And guess what? you're right.
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You're not getting what you deserve.
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You're getting what you accept.
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No one's going to notice when you work harder at work, if you don't make it clear.
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No one's going to notice when you're putting effort into a relationship, unless you make it clear.
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No one's going to know or remember the sacrifices you've made until you stand up for yourself.
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Remember, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you accept.
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You don't get what you deserve, you get what you protect.
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Deserve is a feeling.
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Acceptance is a standard.
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Boundaries are protection.
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You can work hard and still be overlooked.
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You can love deeply and still be mistreated.
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you can give everything and still be taken for granted.
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You don't rise by hoping.
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You rise by refusing to shrink.
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I know it's a painful realization, but it's true.
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A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found that individuals who consistently tolerated small boundary violations,
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we're 62 % more likely to end up in emotionally exhausting relationships.
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62%.
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Think about that, right?
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When we're accepting people breaking our boundaries, people not respecting our worth, we're just taking in whatever it is.
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You're not going to get what you deserve.
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At work, at home, wherever.
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It doesn't work that way.
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One of my favorite stories about this is a story about a farmer who accepts that a storm will come.
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He doesn't pray it away or deny it.
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He just builds stronger walls.
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In a similar way, accepting less than you need teaches others you will bend
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until you break here's the habit i want to set for
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you today think of one boundary you've been hesitant to enforce
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it could be late replies canceled plans jokes at your expense today
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calmly but clearly state your boundary once first yourself and then
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when you're comfortable with someone else maybe you keep allowing people to cancel plans last minute
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Maybe you keep allowing people to get away with saying things about you.
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Now, here's the thing.
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The reason why we fail at this is we usually attack people.
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We don't set a boundary.
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We attack people.
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We say, why do you treat me like this?
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Don't do that.
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That's not a boundary.
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A boundary is something you keep as a promise to yourself.
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If someone does this again, I will not invite them again if someone talks to me that way again,
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I will not respond to them.
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A boundary doesn't mean someone else acts differently.
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A boundary means you act differently when that person acts the same.
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Lesson number six, I wish I'd learned sooner, is some people love the old version of you because they could control them.
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They don't miss you.
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They miss the version of you who stayed small.
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They don't miss you.
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They miss the version of you who didn't set boundaries.
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They don't miss you.
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They miss the version of you who needed their approval.
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When you outgrow the old version of yourself, you outgrow the people who needed you to stay there.
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When you heal, you disrupt the systems that benefited from your wounds.
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When you rise, you reveal who is rooting for your survival, not your success.
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Don't shrink to fit into old spaces.
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Don't bend to make old relationships easier.
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Don't apologize for becoming someone new.
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If they can only love the unhealed, unsure, controlled version of you, they don't love you.
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They love your compliance.
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This is probably the hardest one to learn because we feel bad.
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We wish we could still be that person, but we know we're not.
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We're more organized.
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We're more focused.
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We have more commitments.
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We have more priorities.
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And that person wants us to be available, around, just be there all the time.
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See, science backs this up.
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Growth threatens those who benefited from your smallness.
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A 2022 survey showed 58 % of people admit they felt uncomfortable
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when a close friend or partner leveled up in their life.
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It's not always malice.
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It's not like they want you to fail.
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It's not negative.
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It's fear.
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We're scared because it reminds us of our lack of growth.
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And so what I'm saying to you is you don't have to shrink back into that version to compensate.
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Actually, what's more likely is if you keep growing, they may one day too.
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Not if you're trying to convince them, not if you're trying to make them grow, just by watching you fly, they may one day choose to fly as well.
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So here's my habit for you today.
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Write down one way you've changed for the better in the last 12 months.
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Celebrate it privately or share it proudly without apologizing.
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Lesson number seven I wish I'd learned sooner is I'm just bad at texting.
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Is code for you're not a priority.
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I used to always want to convince people, even if they didn't message back, even if they didn't respond.
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I always wanted to stay connected only to realize they didn't really want to connect with me
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and while I was trying to do
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that I was missing out on the group of people here
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who really did I was ignoring a group of people who
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wanted to connect believed in me support me for a group
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of people who showed no signs of it I promise you
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there is more love in your life than you even recognize
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because you're looking in the wrong direction I promise you there
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are more people who want to be friends with you than you realize because you're trying to be friends with someone else.
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I promise you, there are so many people who would want to spend time with you, but you're missing out on them because you're trying to chase someone else.
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Read the signs.
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You don't need to become a conspiracy theorist.
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Most of the time, again, it's not malice.
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It's not negative.
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People just have different priorities.
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Don't make it to be like some conspiracy theory
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that you got left out you got let go you didn't get invited
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you just don't click it just doesn't work and it's not a big deal
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There are people out there who want to click with you, connect with you, invite you.
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Remember this, read in between the lines.
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I'm just bad at texting, is code, for you're not a priority.
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I'm confused about what I want, is code, for I'm sure I don't want you enough.
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I'm bad at communicating, is code, for I'm not willing to put in the effort with you.
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I don't know what I'm looking for, is code for, I'm keeping my options open.
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I'm just focusing on myself right now, is code for, I don't see a future with you.
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I'm not ready for anything serious, is code for, I'm ready, just not with you.
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People make time for what they care about.
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People make effort for who they value people show up for
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who they want excuses are translations listen to what they're really saying
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and protect your energy believe the patterns not the promises actions
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are the only real language you can trust consistent communication is
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a choice not a personality trait research from Pew Research Center shows
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that 89 % of people aged 18 to 49 check their phones multiple times an hour.
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If someone wanted to reach out, they could.
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It's really important to remember that.
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So here's the habit.
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If you're chasing someone's attention, pause.
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Notice who freely reaches out to you today without prompting and give your energy back in that direction.
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Thank you so much for tuning in today.
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I hope this episode helps you learn these lessons, clear your mind, and deepen your relationships.
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Remember, I'm not saying anyone who treats you this way is bad, negative, or a horrible person.
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It's just important to get really clear and not have the conspiracy arch over our mindsets.
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If this clip brought you value and you'd like to watch something else, this next video has been chosen especially for you based on your viewing behaviors.
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I hope you enjoy it and if you do, please subscribe to the channel so we can keep bringing you fantastic conversations.
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Vocabulaire et conseils d’expression pour cette leçon
Cette leçon d’expression orale de niveau B2 s’appuie sur la vidéo « If You're in Your 20s, Watch This BEFORE It's Too Late ». Cette vidéo contient 406 phrases et 4412 mots à répéter en shadowing. La partie parlée dure 32:24. Le locuteur parle à un rythme régulier d’environ 136 mots par minute, confortable pour le shadowing. 86 % des mots font partie des 3 000 mots les plus courants en anglais ; le reste mérite d’être vu avant de commencer.
Vocabulaire clé de cette vidéo
Les 15 mots les plus avancés de la vidéo, avec leur prononciation et leur sens :
| Mot | Prononciation | Sens |
|---|---|---|
| boundary nom | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | frontière, limite |
| monk nom | /mʌŋk/ | moine |
| cling verbe | /ˈklɪŋ/ | accrocher, s'accrocher |
| malice nom | /ˈmælɪs/ | malveillance, méchanceté |
| outgrow verbe | /ˌɑʊtˈɡɹoʊ/ | dépasser |
| overwhelm verbe | /ˌoʊ.vɚˈwɛlm/ | abreuver |
| unsolicited adjectif | /ˌʌnsəˈlɪsɪtɪd/ | volontaire, spontané |
| resentment nom | /ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/ | ressentiment, agacement |
| vent nom | /vɛnt/ | bouche d'aération |
| memorable adjectif | /ˈmɛm.(ə)ɹə.bl̩/ | mémorable |
| pause nom | /pɔːz/ | pause |
| disappointment nom | /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/ | déception |
| bend verbe | /bɛnd/ | courber, tordre |
| meaningful adjectif | /ˈmiː.nɪŋ.fl̩/ | significatif, qui a du sens |
| react verbe | /ɹiːˈækt/ | réagir |
Les verbes à particule que vous entendrez
| Mot | Sens |
|---|---|
| show up verbe | apparaître, se montrer se pointer |
| come across verbe | avoir l'air de |
| write down verbe | noter, écrire |
| come off verbe | se détacher, se décoller |
| get away with verbe | s'en tirer |
| go through verbe | traverser |
| leave behind verbe | abandonner |
| reach out verbe | tendre la main |
Des phrases à répéter
Des phrases courtes et complètes de la vidéo, à réutiliser dans la conversation de tous les jours :
- What's your thoughts on it?
- What do I want to embody?
- How could you do that?
- Why are you still carrying her?
- We say, why do you treat me like this?
La grammaire de cette vidéo
Les structures que le locuteur utilise le plus, avec les mots exacts de la vidéo :
| Structure | Dans la vidéo |
|---|---|
| Phrases conditionnelles if + proposition, will/would + verbe — une condition et son résultat | if you listened, you wouldn't need · If someone does this again, I will not |
| « Used to » used to + verbe — une habitude ou un état passé qui n’est plus vrai | used to think · used to always want |
| Present perfect have/has + participe passé — une action passée qui compte encore maintenant | has been asked · Have you seen · haven't seen |
| Voix passive be + participe passé — l’accent est mis sur ce qui arrive, pas sur qui le fait | being told · has been asked · been asked |
Prononciation à surveiller
Le locuteur utilise 175 contractions et formes réduites, comme don't, you're, we're. Prononcez-les sous leur forme courte, telles que vous les entendez.
- Les sons « sh » et « zh »: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, anxious /ˈæŋkʃəs/, proportion /pɹəˈpɔɹʃən/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/
- Mots longs — placez bien l’accent: unsolicited /ˌʌnsəˈlɪsɪtɪd/, disappointment /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntmənt/, beautifully /ˈbju.tɪ.fə.li/, irrelevant /ɪˈɹɛləvənt/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/
Les sons difficiles pour les francophones :
- /h/ — il se souffle, il n’est pas muet: heal /ˈhiːl/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/
- /tʃ/ et /dʒ/ — à ne pas adoucir en « ch » et « j »: gentle /ˈd͡ʒɛntl̩/, attachment /əˈtæt͡ʃmənt/, arch /ɑɹt͡ʃ/, urge /ɜːd͡ʒ/, apologize /əˈpɑləˌd͡ʒaɪz/
- /r/ anglais — langue recourbée, sans frotter la gorge: boundary /ˈbaʊndɹi/, outgrow /ˌɑʊtˈɡɹoʊ/, resentment /ɹɪˈzɛnt.mənt/, memorable /ˈmɛm.(ə)ɹə.bl̩/, react /ɹiːˈækt/
Comment s’entraîner avec cette vidéo
- Écoutez la vidéo en entier une fois sans parler et notez les mots que vous ne connaissez pas.
- Répétez phrase par phrase à vitesse normale, en reprenant chacune jusqu’à ce que votre rythme corresponde à celui du locuteur.
- Enregistrez-vous et comparez avec l’original, en faisant attention à des mots comme boundary, monk, cling.
Qu'est-ce que la technique du Shadowing ?
Le Shadowing est une technique d'apprentissage des langues fondée sur la science, développée à l'origine pour la formation des interprètes professionnels. Le principe est simple mais puissant : vous écoutez de l'anglais natif et le répétez immédiatement à voix haute — comme une ombre suivant le locuteur avec un décalage de 1 à 2 secondes. Les recherches montrent une amélioration significative de la précision de la prononciation, de l'intonation, du rythme, des liaisons, de la compréhension orale et de la fluidité.