शैडोइंग अभ्यास: How to Talk About Self-Control in English | Easy English Podcast For Beginners | English Podcast - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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Hello, hello everyone!

Welcome back to the Tom English Podcast.

I am Alice, your host,

and I am just so happy to be here with you today.

This podcast is designed especially for beginners, so don't worry.

We are going to speak slowly,

clearly, and use simple English so you can follow along perfectly.

Today, we're diving into a topic that touches every single part of our lives, self-control.

Hi, everyone.

I'm Tom.

Thank you so much for having me, Alice.

I've been looking forward to this because,

honestly, self-control is something I think about a lot,

mostly because it can be so hard.

But it's incredibly useful for everyone.

It really is.

But first, let's define it for our friends listening at home.

To me, self-control means that we have the power to manage our own actions,

our feelings, and our habits.

It's like being the captain of your own ship.

We use it when we study,

when we choose what to eat,

or even how we manage our time.

That's a great way to put it, Alice.

But man, being the captain isn't always easy, is it?

We all need self-control to make good choices and avoid those pesky bad habits that sneak up on us.

Sometimes, I feel like I have a lot of it,

and other times, well, not so much.

But the good news is that we can practice and improve.

It's a skill, just like learning English.

Exactly.

You don't have to be perfect.

You just need to try a little bit every single day.

What do you think about the difficulty part of it, Tom?

Well, I'll be honest.

I have many moments where I just want to relax and watch TV instead of working on my projects.

It's a struggle.

But when I do control myself and finish my tasks first,

I feel so much better afterward.

It's that feeling of achievement that helps us reach our goals.

I love that.

It's all about balance.

If we are too strict, we get stressed.

If we have no control, we have problems.

We need to find that sweet spot where we work hard

but also take time to rest and be kind to ourselves Balance yes,

that is the key.

I'm really happy to share my experiences today I hope this helps everyone think about their own habits,

too Me too Tom.

This is going to be a great journey

Welcome back now that we know what self-control is let's look at how it shows up in our real everyday lives

Sometimes we think self-control has to be a giant hero moment,

but it's actually in the tiny things.

For me, the biggest battle starts the moment the sun comes up.

Oh?

Let me guess.

The alarm clock.

Exactly.

Waking up early is my first test of self-control every single day.

Sometimes I want to sleep for just 10 more minutes,

especially on those dark, cold mornings.

It's so tempting to stay under the warm blankets.

But I tell myself, Alice,

you need to start your day.

Taking that first step out of bed is a small win for my self-control.

I totally understand that.

For me, the challenge starts when I sit down at my desk.

It's the phone.

I love watching videos and checking social media,

and before I know it, an hour is gone.

Oh, the smartphone trap.

We all know that one.

It's tough.

So I've started practicing self-control by limiting my phone use.

When I work or study,

I actually put my phone in a different room.

It was really difficult at first.

I felt like I was missing something.

But it gets easier with time.

Now I am so much more productive.

It feels great to finish a task without being distracted every two minutes.

That is a huge victory, Tom.

Excited.

I do something similar when I feel lazy about studying.

I tell myself, okay, just sit down for 10 minutes.

Usually, once I start, I can keep going.

Even 10 minutes is a win.

Only 10 minutes?

That's a great tip for our listeners.

It makes the task feel much smaller and less scary.

Exactly.

It's all about managing that initial I-don't-want-to feeling.

Thinking, another big one for me is food.

I have a massive sweet tooth.

I see a piece of chocolate cake and my self-control just wants to run away.

I think we are the same person, Alice.

I love fast food, but I try to choose healthy options during the week.

It's hard, right?

Expressive tone.

100

I don't say no to the cake forever,

101

but I try to eat just a small amount.

102

It's about being careful with our health while still enjoying life.

103

These small choices we make with our phones,

104

our sleep, and our food,

105

they add up to a big change.

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They really do.

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Every time you say not now to a distraction or a bad habit,

108

you're making your self-control muscles stronger.

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Well said, Tom.

110

We're just getting started.

111

We are back.

112

Now, Tom, we've talked about waking up and phone habits,

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but self-control goes even deeper than that.

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It's also about how we treat our bodies and even how we use our money.

115

Oh, boy, you're hitting the difficult topics now, Alice.

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But you're right.

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For me, exercise is a big one.

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After a long day of work,

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I often feel so tired.

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All I want to do is sit on the sofa and do absolutely nothing.

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I think we all feel that way sometimes.

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How do you push through?

123

Well, I use my self-control to just move.

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I tell myself that even a short 10-minute walk is better than nothing.

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And you know what?

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Once I'm outside breathing the fresh air,

127

my mind feels so much clearer.

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Self-control helps me choose what is good for my body even when my brain is screaming,

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stay on the couch.

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That's the spirit.

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It's the same with time management.

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Sometimes I want to watch TV all evening,

133

but I know I have work to finish.

134

I've learned that if I use self-control to finish my tasks first,

135

I can relax later without any worry hanging over my head.

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It makes the relaxation feel so much better because I earned it.

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That's a great point.

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It's like a reward for your hard work.

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Speaking of rewards, what about spending?

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I used to be terrible with money.

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I'd go to the store and want to buy everything I saw.

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Shopping can be very dangerous for self-control.

143

It really can.

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Now, before I buy something,

145

I stop and ask myself,

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Tom, do you actually need this or do you just want it right now?

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Usually the answer is that I just want it.

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That little moment of self-control saves me a lot of money every month.

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That is so wise, Tom.

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And there's one more area where self-control is vital,

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and it's one people often forget.

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Our emotions.

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Oh, that's a big one.

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Yes.

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Sometimes I feel angry or upset.

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In the past, I might have said something mean or yelled,

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but now I try to take a deep breath and think before I speak.

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It's not easy.

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My heart beats fast and I want to react.

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But staying calm is the ultimate form of self-control.

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It helps our relationships stay strong.

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I agree completely.

163

I also try to practice self-control while listening.

164

Sometimes I want to interrupt people because I'm excited to talk.

165

But I tell myself to wait and truly hear what they are saying.

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It's a small action, but it shows so much respect.

167

Look at us.

168

We're managing our health, our money, and our words.

169

We're becoming masters of ourselves.

170

Welcome back, everyone.

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We have talked about what self-control is and where we see it in our lives.

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But now, let's get practical.

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How do we actually get better at it?

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It's like going to the gym for your brain.

175

Exactly.

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And just like the gym,

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you shouldn't try to lift the heaviest weight on your first day.

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For me, the best way to start is with small goals.

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I used to try and change everything at once.

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I'd say, I'm going to exercise for two hours,

181

eat only salad, and work for 10 hours straight.

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Of course, I failed by lunchtime.

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Oh, we've all been there, Tom.

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That is just too much pressure.

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It really is.

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So now I start small.

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If I want to build a study habit,

188

I start with just 15 minutes.

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It feels so easy that I can't say no. These tiny steps help me build a foundation without feeling overwhelmed.

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That is a brilliant tip.

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I do something similar with my environment.

192

Did you know that your surroundings can actually make self-control easier or harder?

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Hmm, I think I see what you mean.

194

Like my phone being in another room?

195

Exactly.

196

I keep my desk very clean and quiet.

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If my desk is messy,

198

my mind feels messy too.

199

If I remove distractions like snacks or my phone,

200

I don't even have to use much self-control because the temptation isn't there.

201

We should make our environment work for us, not against us.

202

That makes so much sense.

203

Another thing that helps me is a routine.

204

When I do the same things at the same time every day,

205

it becomes a habit.

206

I don't have to decide to be disciplined anymore.

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I just do it automatically.

208

It saves so much mental energy.

209

Yes, routines are like a secret weapon.

210

And don't forget about rewards!

211

Thinking, when I finish a hard task,

212

I give myself a little treat,

213

maybe a five-minute break to listen to my favorite song or a small piece of fruit.

214

I love that idea.

215

Rewards make the hard work feel worth it.

216

We just have to make sure the rewards stay small so they don't become a new distraction.

217

Very true.

218

And finally, I always try to keep my why in mind.

219

When I want to eat something unhealthy,

220

I remind myself of my goal to feel energetic and strong.

221

Focusing on the big picture helps the small struggles feel much easier to manage.

222

Small goals, a clean environment, routines, and rewards.

223

That's a great toolkit, Alice.

224

I think if our listeners try even one of these they will see a difference.

225

I agree.

226

It's all about moving forward, step by step.

227

Welcome back.

228

Now, we have to be honest.

229

Even with a great toolkit,

230

things don't always go perfectly, do they?

231

There are days when self-control feels almost impossible.

232

Oh, absolutely.

233

Let's talk about the monsters of self-control.

234

For me, the biggest one is laziness.

235

Some mornings I just don't want to do anything.

236

I look at my to-do lists and I just want to hide under the covers.

237

On those days, my brain is my own worst enemy.

238

I feel that so much.

239

How do you fight back when you're feeling that way?

240

I've learned that the hardest part is just the first two minutes.

241

If I can just stand up or just open my laptop,

242

the laziness starts to fade.

243

I tell myself, just start.

244

Usually, once I'm moving, I'm okay.

245

But man, that first step feels like climbing a mountain.

246

A mountain in your pajamas.

247

For me, the challenge is stress.

248

When I'm worried or overwhelmed, my self-control just disappears.

249

I start wanting to eat snacks or waste time on my phone just to escape the feeling.

250

Oh, you too?

251

I do the exact same thing.

252

I think when we are stressed,

253

our brains look for easy happiness.

254

Exactly.

255

So now I try to manage the stress first.

256

I take a few deep breaths or go for a short walk to calm my mind.

257

Once the stress is lower, my self-control comes back.

258

We have to listen to our feelings before we can control our actions.

259

That is so important.

260

And Alice, I have to contrast something.

261

I struggle with being too strict with myself.

262

If I If I miss one day of exercise or eat one cookie,

263

I feel like a total failure.

264

I used to think, well,

265

I already messed up, so I might as well give up for the rest of the week.

266

Oh, Tom, that's the perfectionism trap.

267

Softly, I used to do that too.

268

But we have to remember,

269

self-control isn't about being a robot.

270

It's about being human.

271

If you fall down, you just get back up.

272

Making a mistake doesn't mean you've failed,

273

it just means you're learning.

274

I'm trying to be kinder to myself now.

275

I accept the mistake and try again the next day.

276

It makes me feel much stronger and less likely to quit.

277

Exactly.

278

And remember, when you're tired,

279

your self-control is naturally lower.

280

Thinking, taking care of your sleep and your health is like charging your self-control battery.

281

batteries empty, you can't expect the machine to work.

282

My battery definitely needs more charging sometimes.

283

But identifying these challenges – laziness,

284

stress, and perfectionism – is the first step to beating them.

285

Well said, Tom.

286

We are almost at the end of our journey.

287

And here we are, everyone,

288

the final part of our podcast.

289

Time has just flown by.

290

We We have covered everything from waking up early to battling the laziness monster.

291

But as we wrap up,

292

I want to talk about the most important thing of all, patience.

293

Oh, definitely.

294

Patience is everything.

295

You know, Alice, sometimes I see people on the internet who seem to have perfect lives and perfect self-control.

296

They wake up at 4am,

297

run marathons, and eat only kale.

298

It used to make me feel so bad about myself.

299

I thought I was moving too slowly.

300

It's so easy to compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel, isn't it?

301

But self-control is a personal journey.

302

Everyone has their own speed.

303

You don't need to be like that person on the internet.

304

You just need to be a little bit better than you were yesterday.

305

That's exactly what I tell myself now.

306

I focus on consistency rather than speed.

307

a little bit every single day,

308

even if it's just five minutes of English practice or a short walk,

309

is so much better than doing a lot for one day and then stopping for a month.

310

It's the small drops of water that eventually fill the bucket.

311

I love that image.

312

It really is about the long road.

313

If you stay patient and keep trying,

314

those small habits will eventually become a part of who you are.

315

You won't even have to think about them anymore.

316

Exactly.

317

It's been so great talking about this with you, Alice.

318

I've actually learned a few things myself today.

319

I hope our listeners feel encouraged.

320

If you made a mistake today, don't worry.

321

Tomorrow is a brand new chance to practice your self-control.

322

Well said, Tom.

323

Thank you for being such an open and honest guest.

324

And to our wonderful listeners,

325

thank you for joining us on the Tom English Podcast.

326

We hope you learned some useful new words and,

327

more importantly, some simple ways to take charge of your life.

328

Yes, thank you, everyone.

329

Keep practicing your English and your self-control.

330

You're doing a great job already just by being here and listening.

331

That's right.

332

Taking the time to listen to a podcast is an act of self-control in itself.

333

We're so proud of you.

334

Until next time, take care of yourselves and keep moving forward.

335

Goodbye, everyone.

336

Goodbye.

337

See you in the next episode.

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