शैडोइंग अभ्यास: I'm 33. If You're In Your 20s or 30s, Watch This. - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

At 19, I was arrested six times.

I was broke and I was completely lost.

By 23, I'd made my first million.

And now at 33, I want to tell you exactly how I did it

so you can avoid the same mistakes that I made.

So if you are ready to lock in and get ahead of 99% of people, here are the six habits that you can use to build real wealth.

Habit number one, immediate gratification.

What if the thing keeping you broke has nothing to do with your income

and everything to do with how fast you need to be rewarded.

You need to understand this concept so you do not let tiny choices control your life.

Okay, so I will never forget this because this is the epitome of everything I think about on a daily basis, okay?

There was a study done.

It was at Stanford.

There were psychologists, and they placed preschoolers into a room with a single marshmallow at the table, and they were told this.

You can eat this now or wait 15 minutes and you can get two marshmallows.

So what happened, okay?

Some kids grabbed the marshmallow within seconds.

They were like, f* it, give me my marshmallow.

Other kids, they were like squirming, they covered their eyes, they were like doing all this stuff, they're holding their nose so they don't smell the marshmallows, they could resist temptation.

The test ended after 15 minutes.

But the follow-up on this test was crazy.

So the researchers, they followed those kids.

The kids who managed to wait not only scored higher on their SATs, but decades later, they had healthier relationships,

they had lower body mass index, and they had stronger careers and made more money.

This is one of the most famous studies in psychology because it revealed something very, very simple, yet very profound about humans, which is the ability to delay gratification.

Choosing future reward over instant comfort was, is and was, one of the strongest predictors of long-term success.

So, who do you think you are?

Do you eat the marshmallow right away?

Or are you the person that can control their actions and delay gratification?

Now, here's the truth.

Most people operate on immediate gratification.

And that is why they are broke.

That is why they're overweight.

That is why they don't have the relationship they want.

They optimize for today's comfort at tomorrow's expense.

And this is also why 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, regardless of income.

Okay, I tell people this all the time.

I'm like, listen, if you don't make a lot of money and you're broke, when you make a lot of money, you're still gonna be broke.

I see it all the time.

It is a habit.

It is a way of being.

It is immediate gratification.

You will just find more expensive to spend your money on.

I remember when I was younger and I lived this way.

I lived paycheck to paycheck when I was making $30,000 a year and when I was making $85,000 a year.

Now, why is that?

Because I did not understand this philosophy yet.

I was constantly taking the first marshmallow.

More money, spend more, right?

Think about it, a lot of people do this.

Once I realized that I had not only over, I had tripled my income and I was still living that way, I was like, oh, you're just gonna keep finding shit to spend money on.

That is when I decided to make a different choice with my life.

I decided that every dollar that I had, it became capital, it became an asset.

It was not something to use to consume things.

What happened is that while everybody else, they were planning weekend trips, they were buying stuff they wanted, they were spending their money on their hair and their nails, their outfits and all this stuff.

I was like, screw it, I don't care anymore.

I'm buying stuff from Goodwill.

I am going to the cheapest place to buy food.

I am no longer getting my hair and makeup done.

I am funding my future.

I am now choosing to wait for the second marshmallow.

So I treated short-term sacrifice as my long-term strategy.

Before any purchase, ask yourself one question.

Does spending my money on this build my self-respect or break it?

You ever buy something and then you feel gross after?

Seriously, you've done it for sure.

I'm not saying you went to like the sex toy store.

I'm saying you bought something and you feel bad that you did it.

You feel like you knew you shouldn't have spent that money.

Now, why is that?

Because you're breaking promises you made to yourself.

You said you would wait for the second marshmallow, but you keep buying that thing.

Now another question you could ask, does spending my money on this get me closer to my goals or put me further away from them?

We need to buy things based on these questions, not do I want it?

Is it on sale?

Does somebody else think I should buy it?

Will I look cool if I wear it?

Habit number two, check the numbers daily.

The biggest threat to your wealth and how much money you have isn't what you earn.

It is what you avoid.

There was a study, it was behavioral economists, and they call this the ostrich effect.

People literally avoid looking looking at negative financial information the same way

that you see an ostrich just buries their head in the sand.

During a market crash, instead of looking for opportunities to buy, most people actually do this, and this is tracked by banks.

They log in less.

They miss rebound.

They lock themselves into long-term losses because they don't want to look at it.

Sometimes when the stock crashes, and I know how much money I have in the stock market, I'm like, I don't want to look at it.

But I'm like, you've got to look at it.

You have to know.

Because it is a behavior.

It's a habit.

It's not about the money.

It's about the habit that it creates.

And this behavior isn't limited to stops.

Most people avoid even opening bills, credit card statements, their banking app, when they think there's gonna be bad news.

Now, the irony to this is very obvious, which avoiding the numbers does not make the problem go away.

It actually makes it worse.

It's like if you don't weigh yourself for a year, you probably get fatter, because you cannot improve what you refuse to face.

100

And avoidance is expensive.

101

People avoid their finances like they avoid difficult conversations, and both habits keep them weak.

102

I remember I had had a low month in terms of I wasn't making as many sales in my job.

103

And I was driving, and I pulled my banking app out because I needed to look at it, because I realized I hadn't.

104

And then I started crying because I was like, oh my gosh, I am not making enough money.

105

And then I got pulled over, and I got a ticket for being on my phone.

106

And I was like, $200 ticket for checking my bank app.

107

I showed the guy.

108

I was like, I'm poor, and I was crying for being poor.

109

Can you please not give me this ticket?

110

Even remembering a moment like that, it's important to me because even though it's hard, even though it sucks, even though I hate looking at it, I'm gonna f*ing look at it until I change it.

111

That's when I got control over my life and control over my finances.

112

You cannot manage what you don't measure.

113

And if you look at wealthy individuals, there is one consistent behavior.

114

They track that s* meticulously.

115

I will tell you that I track everything now.

116

In fact, I am cheaper now that I am rich than I was when I was poor.

117

It's because to get there, you realize one, how hard it is to make money, two, that if you don't know where all the money goes, then you're not constantly able to resource yourself.

118

So the wealthiest 1%, they know their exact numbers more than middle-income earners.

119

And they got more account, so there's no excuse.

120

So here's what you're going to do.

121

You're going to open your bank account every day for 30 days, record every transaction.

122

Train your brain that financial reality is manageable.

123

It is not a threat.

124

It will feel shitty, and then less shitty, and eventually not shitty, and then it'll feel good because you realize that you are being the person you want to be.

125

Which brings me to habit number three, radical responsibility.

126

You're like, oh my gosh, this is not a get-rich-quick.

127

No, it's not, because you cannot get rich quick, okay?

128

There are two types of people in this world.

129

The ones who believe that life happens to them versus those that believe they make things happen.

130

This is why some people rise up stronger from failure while other people just collapse underneath of it.

131

Something I realized in my 20s is that blame is the enemy of improvement.

132

When I make and made early business mistakes, I hired the wrong people, I had a failed launch, I missed opportunities, I kept people in my business too long, I sold to the wrong customers.

133

My first instinct was to find external reasons.

134

And then I remember talking one time to one of my mentors.

135

He said, Leila, you gain nothing and your team gains nothing by blaming your customer.

136

And what I realized after that, and really like impacted me a lot, if I'm not responsible, I'm also not powerful.

137

And I'm also not the one who can solve it.

138

Blame gives you reasons, but having ownership and taking responsibility gives you control over doing something about the situation.

139

And so what that did is it allowed me to look at every failure as data.

140

Every mistake is an instruction as to what to do differently next time, because I can do something about it.

141

Now, in psychology, this is called the locus of control.

142

People with an internal locus believe that they shape their outcomes in the world.

143

Whereas people that have an external locus believe that fate or other people or powers outside of themselves decide what happens.

144

So believing you're in charge does not just change your mindset, it changes your results because it determines how much effort you're willing to put in when things get hard.

145

Because if you believe it's all up to other people, how hard do you think you're gonna try?

146

Not that hard.

147

So here's how you're gonna form this habit.

148

Document the last two things that significantly went wrong in your life.

149

And these might be bad.

150

They might be really bad.

151

I understand that.

152

For each one, identify your specific contribution to this outcome.

153

I just want you to ask, how did I contribute to this situation?

154

How am I responsible for this situation?

155

And trust me, I know because I have had some situations that are f*ed up.

156

Then what you can do is now you've taken a situation

157

that you felt powerless powerless and you felt like a victim

158

and you've made yourself the victor and you've decided to be the person that can do something about it.

159

Habit number four, do the hard things first.

160

I know that this sucks to hear, but your brain is wired to waste energy on all the wrong things and is wired to be lazy.

161

We are wired to be lazy.

162

People are always like, oh my gosh, Layla, like I don't feel ready.

163

I feel lazy.

164

I feel like I don't want to.

165

No shit.

166

That's what we're supposed to do.

167

Our bodies want to conserve energy.

168

Our brains want to conserve energy.

169

Your brain will always look for the easiest route because that is what you were wired for.

170

There's nothing wrong with you, my friend.

171

This is how we're all wired." The moment that I started leading with the hardest tasks each day, everything else felt manageable, and momentum was like a daily norm after that.

172

It actually started when I was losing weight, because I said, I will make myself work out at 5 a.m every day.

173

I was like, I hate getting up at 5 a.m., and I hate working out, and I don't want to do this, but I was like, I will do the hardest thing first at the very beginning of my day.

174

And if you look at high performers and people who have what you want in life, what they do is they tackle complexity when their mental resources are strongest.

175

Even for myself, I know I am not making decisions past 4 or 5 p.m.

176

My team knows they will ask me a question.

177

I'll be like, I will find a way to deflect the question.

178

I'll be like, let me come back to you tomorrow.

179

Let me think about that.

180

Now, why is that?

181

Because I can measure, I'm like, oh, you're not that sharp right now.

182

High performers, they're not going to be sharper longer than somebody else.

183

They just know when they're not and to delay the decision.

184

Now, what average performers do is they delay difficulty and all the things that take hard work until later in the day, until it becomes a crisis,

185

until they absolutely can't move forward without doing it.

186

There's somebody that's probably before your time if you're watching this video, but his name is Brian Tracy, and he popularized this idea, and I remember it to this day, which is called Eat the Frog.

187

The premise is this.

188

If you had to eat a live frog every morning, maybe a toad, because they're even more disgusting, the rest of the day would feel easy in comparison.

189

Like, if you woke up and you had to eat an actual frog every morning, like, it's live, this thing's like flapping in your mouth, right?

190

Everything else would be like, dude, it's a breeze.

191

I ate a frog this morning.

192

That frog represents your hardest, highest leverage task.

193

Okay, the one that you would avoid, but that would move your life forward the most, because we know eating frogs is powerful.

194

So the principle is simple but powerful, okay?

195

Success belongs to people who are willing to swallow the hardest bite before anything else.

196

So here's how you're going to take action on this habit, okay?

197

Identify something you've been avoiding, because it's really challenging.

198

Maybe it's something you have to do tomorrow.

199

Maybe it's something you have to do next week.

200

Maybe it's something that's been lingering in the back of your head

201

that you like wake up in the middle of the night thinking about.

202

It's one of those things, right?

203

Now, we're going to plan to do it first thing tomorrow morning.

204

We are going to execute it before you check your email, your Slack, your Instagram, your Facebook, your WhatsApp, your signal.

205

I don't know what you use, but before everything, you're just going to do that.

206

And you're going to say, I am not allowed to do anything else until it's done.

207

Do the hard thing first, reward yourself second.

208

Habit number five, choose skills over status symbols.

209

This is the truth, is that only broke people spend money trying to look successful, okay?

210

Money has essentially two functions.

211

There's signaling and there's building.

212

That's it.

213

It's like either you're building stuff with your money, it is a tool that you use to build something else, or it's a signal.

214

You're using it to show people that you actually have it.

215

Here's the thing, researchers have found that when people feel uncertain about where they stand socially, they become more likely to buy luxury items,

216

clothes, watches, cars, all these things.

217

Now it's not because they need them, it's because they want to signal worth to other people.

218

And this is normal, humans seek status, this is not like there's something wrong with you, or you're lesser than, I'm the same way, I mean clearly I wear things and I have clothing that I like.

219

But what you need to realize is this.

220

Status purchases depreciate.

221

So if you are trying to become wealthy, these things are not going to add to your wealth.

222

They're not going to build upon each other.

223

Whereas knowledge and talent and skills are appreciating assets.

224

If you build on your character, if you build on your skill sets, those things are going to get better with time.

225

They're going to be bigger.

226

You're going to have more of them.

227

And I know that it seems scary to invest a small amount of money in skills

228

because it's like you're betting on yourself and I get it.

229

I have been there.

230

But that is the best thing that you can do.

231

I remember the first purchase I made, biggest purchase I ever made.

232

I was 22 and I finally had $5,000 in my bank account, like saved, and I had this course I wanted to buy, it was $3,000, and I bought that course,

233

and then you know what I realized?

234

There was a part one to part two, I bought part two.

235

I started watching the thing, I was like, what the are they talking about?

236

And then I was like, oh my God.

237

At that time, this was, you know, decade ago, there was no customer support, there was no, you're gonna swap this, I was like, I'm .

238

You know what it taught me?

239

Always double check.

240

But what I did do at that point is I stopped optimizing for external validation.

241

I started optimizing for my internal growth because real confidence, it does not come from the clothes you wear, from the jewelry you own, or from how you do your hair and makeup.

242

It comes from how you feel about yourself inside.

243

I promise that.

244

I have both things.

245

This doesn't matter if you don't have this.

246

So here's what you're going to do with the money that you didn't spend on this stupid before any status purchase.

247

Ask yourself this, is this building my capability or my image?

248

If it's image, redirect that money towards capability.

249

Allocate 20% of your income to either education or buying your time back to invest in your skills.

250

If you can just do $20 towards skills or systems, that will multiply your output.

251

That is a worthwhile investment to make.

252

Now, habit number six, I want you to manufacture discomfort.

253

The things that you resist doing are always the things that will unlock your biggest growth.

254

Now, here's the thing, people are like, I don't know, discomfort is actually just information it tells you where you have room to grow.

255

So it's like people say they want to get better, but then they don't want to be uncomfortable.

256

It's like, well, then you don't want to get better because in order to get better, you have to be uncomfortable.

257

People who choose hard things end up handling life's unwanted hard things far better.

258

So if you pursue hard things, you do a hard workout, you have a hard conversation, you do something that scares you,

259

you are training your brain to reframe that stress as a good thing instead of a threat.

260

So suddenly your brain says, oh, stress leads to growth rather than stress leads to fail, die, be killed, right?

261

Because our old outdated system thinks stress equals bad, run away.

262

Guys, if you go to a party and people don't talk to you, like, you're not gonna die.

263

I know sometimes it feels like an inside, but like, you're not gonna die, you're gonna be fine.

264

So the biggest way that you can move forward towards that discomfort is to audit your environment.

265

Think about this, if everyone around you operates at your level or below, where do you think you're going?

266

The people around you are a thermometer.

267

You need to intentionally place yourself in rooms where you feel underprepared and uncomfortable because that means that you're gonna grow.

268

A lot of people avoid that.

269

They're like, oh, that person, they've got an ego, they're too intense, they're too...

270

What you told me right now is that you're actually just uncomfortable with

271

that person because they have something that you don't yet have.

272

They have a level of something that makes you uncomfortable.

273

That's not a bad thing.

274

And if you take anything from this, let it be that wealth is not built by luck.

275

It is built by choosing habits that have nothing to do with wealth, that trade comfort for growth every single day.

276

So if you like this video, do not forget to subscribe and check out my next one.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: I'm 33. If You're In Your 20s or 30s, Watch This. - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

संदर्भ और पृष्ठभूमि

रोज़ाना संवाद के लिए शीर्ष 5 वाक्य

चरण-दर-चरण शैडोइंग गाइड

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?