शैडोइंग अभ्यास: What is sex?: Sex Ed #1 - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

Have you had sex?

If not, no big deal.

And if you're like, yeah, done it, currently doing it, okay, yes, go off.

But either way, how do you know?

Like most people would agree, penis in vagina equals S-E-X.

But what about mouth stuff, hand stuff, butt stuff?

When it comes to doing it, what actually counts as it?

Hi, I'm Sham Voodram, and this is Crash Course Sex Ed.

Doing it, getting laid.

Don't forget the horizontal hula.

Yes, Teen Shan, thank you for that very helpful addition.

Whatever you call it, there's a whole range of sexcapades people get up to, involving penises, vaginas, mouths, hands, butts, toys, and so on.

But here's the thing, when people say they're having sex, what exactly do they mean?

Turns out, for a long time, we didn't know.

Not until a guy came along who studied insects.

Teen Chan, let him know.

It's 1938, and Indiana University is offering its first-ever marriage class for married students in need of some sexual

and reproductive health 101.

Despite being more of a bug guy, popular professor and entomologist Alfred Kinsey is enlisted to help teach it.

And the students have lots of sex questions, though they're really all the same question.

What's normal?

Kinsey realized he didn't know.

Nobody did.

Because there simply hadn't been solid scientific study of what people actually do when they do it.

So Kinsey hatched a plan.

Instead of collecting bugs, he'd collect people's sex histories.

Over the next decade and a half, he and his team interviewed over 18,000 strangers, asking direct and non-judgmental questions like, how often do you masturbate?

And, when was your first actual experience?

The team's findings sent shockwaves across the United States.

Masturbation, premarital sex, and same-sex experiences were far more common than assumed, considering how widely these behaviors were shamed and even punished at the time.

And one of the most influential concepts to come out of that research was the Kinsey Scale.

The idea that sexual attraction falls on a continuum, not in two opposite categories.

On a scale, many people fall somewhere in the middle.

Sexual attraction isn't just black and white, it's all the shades in between.

Kinsey's research challenged Americans' perceptions of what was normal sexual behavior, and it added a lot to the field of sexology, the scientific study of sex.

Today, sexologists continue to research what people do, think, and feel about sex.

Which is why we know more than like rumors from your best friend's cousin's neighbor.

And a juicy truth we can pull from the Kinsey scale?

Sexuality, who you are as a sexual being, is about more than just what you're doing in the bedroom, or on the couch, or not at all.

Sex columnist Dan Savage puts it this way, sexuality is like a three-layer cake.

there's your sexual orientation who you want to do it with your sexual behavior who you actually do it with

and your sexual identity who you tell people you do it with by identifying as gay straight bisexual

or something else sometimes those layers are all the same flavor

imagine a man who's attracted exclusively to women has sex exclusively with women and identifies as women want me fish Fair me.

I mean, he's straight.

That guy might be a little delulu about his sexual and fishing prowess, but at least he's comfy with his cake.

But now, let's imagine this fisherman is actually attracted to men, despite identifying as straight.

His cake has a funfetti layer, but because of his attitudes around him, like major anti-funfetti vibes among his friends and family, he feels ashamed or unsafe acting on that desire,

much less announcing it to the world.

He feels like he needs to hide the funfetti and tell the world he's all red velvet.

And when someone experiences a clash in the layers of their sexuality, this can trigger stress, depression, and the feeling that they can't fully be themselves.

Often, that inner conflict is thanks to culture, which is kind of like an iceberg.

You can only see about 10% of it on the outside.

The food, the clothing, the aggressively orange mascots.

The rest is a hulking mask of beliefs, attitudes, and meanings lurking beneath the surface, influencing how we view the world, including how we think about sex.

And different cultures circulate their own ideas about what's normal or acceptable, like is sex before marriage forbidden, tolerated, or expected?

Do people talk about sex openly or treat it like embarrassing photos from your awkward face, only safe with a few trusted people?

Is same-sex attraction punished or embraced?

Every culture regulates sex in some way, Whether that's through formal rules like legislating homosexuality as a crime,

or through social norms like closing the bedroom curtains so the neighbors can't see you.

And all that can influence how we feel about, well, the way we feel.

Culture can even influence what we consider sex and what we don't.

Which brings me back to the question, have you had sex?

How do you know?

Because even within the same culture, people don't always agree on which behaviors count.

Like in 2017, researchers looked at responses from over 3,000 straight identifying men

and women in the U.S who were asked if they considered butt stuff to be sex.

While 90% agreed that penis and anus equal sex, when it came to mouths or hands touching a butt,

they were like, yes, no, I don't know.

Except for older men who'd personally done that stuff.

And they were more likely to say, oh yeah, that's sex for sure.

And when it comes to intimacy or a feeling of closeness, that can accompany sex or not.

Making out can feel intimate, but so can someone taking your bare, ungloved hand as you step out of a carriage.

Maybe I've watched Pride and Prejudice too many times.

Give me a minute.

Anyways, maybe you're thinking, but Shan, there's a reason penis and vagina sex is the sex it makes babies.

Isn't that the whole point?

Okay, yes, true.

Making more life is the reason sex evolved in the first place

and it stuck around for lots of species because it works.

Combining two individuals' genes creates offspring with a unique combination of traits, making it more likely that a species will survive.

But it's not like you'll die if you never had this kind of sex.

Lots of sexually reproducing species, us included, have same-sex sex too, a behavior that may have evolved as a way of strengthening social bonds.

And plenty of people have sex when they aren't physically able to have children or just don't want to.

In fact, according to a 2007 study, people have hundreds of reasons for doing it that have nothing to do with making babies.

Ranging from, it's fun, to, I wanted to get closer to God, to, I felt jealous.

I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

And my personal favorite, it seemed like a good workout.

Get that cardio.

And people's reasons for having or not having sex can ebb and flow in their lifetime.

Like some people choose not to have sex until they feel they're ready or they found the right partner.

And some long-term couples find themselves having less sex as time goes on.

The point is there is no one reason for having sex.

And what we count as knockin' boots isn't It's not just biological, it's cultural, it's personal.

So why does it matter what counts as sex and what doesn't?

Well, because we act like it matters.

The word virgin is often used to describe someone who's never had sex, historically the penis and vagina kind.

Just the existence of this word puts that one act on a pedestal, implying it's THE sex.

And then the word gets used to organize and judge people based on whether they've done it or not.

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Losing your virginity can be a badge of honor or something to be ashamed of or confused about.

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That can be especially complicated for people whose first time having penis and vagina sex wasn't consensual.

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Folks who don't want to have sex at all, or those who regularly engage in other sexy activities.

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Like, are gay people virgins for life if they never have PNV sex?

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I don't think so.

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And valuing one kind of sex over another can lead to more than internalized shame.

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Many studies have found that LGBTQ plus folks are likely to endure bullying and discrimination in their lifetimes,

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and can even be less likely to seek medical care in communities where sexual diversity is not widely accepted.

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But just because culture can saturate words like sex

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and virginity with positive or negative values doesn't mean those values are objectively true or set in stone.

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Like in a survey from 2014, many LGBTQ plus people share that their first time having sex, no matter how they define that,

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didn't feel like it was as meaningful as coming out.

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And in other studies, LGBTQ plus people have told researchers that they often think of losing their virginity as a process, not a one-time thing.

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They've had first times, plural, because different sexual experiences help clarify their identity.

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So when you say you have or hadn't had sex, what you mean isn't as straightforward as you think.

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You and I might have totally different definitions, and that's okay.

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There's no single way of doing it, no single why for doing it, and no single thing that doing it means.

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What's normal is variation.

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And ultimately, it's up to you to decide what sex means in your life.

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Next time, we'll explore the wide and wonderful world of the vulva.

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See you then.

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This episode of Crash Course Sex Ed was produced in partnership with the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.

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If you are interested in learning more, visit their website for resources that explore the topics we discussed in the video today.

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Thank you for watching this episode, which was filmed at our studio in Indianapolis and was made with the help of all these nice people.

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If you want to help keep Crash Course free for everyone, or ever, you can join our community on Patreon.

शैडोइंग तकनीक क्या है?

शैडोइंग (Shadowing) एक विज्ञान-समर्थित भाषा सीखने की तकनीक है जो मूल रूप से पेशेवर दुभाषिया प्रशिक्षण के लिए विकसित की गई थी। विधि सरल लेकिन शक्तिशाली है: आप मूल अंग्रेज़ी ऑडियो सुनते हैं और तुरंत इसे ज़ोर से दोहराते हैं — जैसे वक्ता की छाया 1-2 सेकंड की देरी से। शोध से पता चलता है कि यह उच्चारण सटीकता, स्वर, लय, जुड़ी हुई ध्वनियाँ, सुनने की समझ और बोलने की प्रवाहशीलता में काफ़ी सुधार करता है।

शैडोइंग अभ्यास: What is sex?: Sex Ed #1 - वीडियो के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

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