शैडोइंग अभ्यास: When Stress Stops Helping You (And Starts Hurting You) - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

There's a fine line between when stress stops helping you and when it starts hurting you.

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There's a fine line between when stress stops helping you and when it starts hurting you.

And as much as high achievers don't like to admit it,

pressure has its limits.

Most high performers believe three things about stress that works against them.

They believe that stress can't hurt them because they do so well under pressure.

They would know when stress is becoming harmful.

And they think pressure always leads to more growth.

I've touched this personally as well.

My name is Charlotte Stebbink-Mills.

I've worked in stress, wellbeing and performance since 2005,

supported over 8,000 people and spent over two decades helping high capacity change makers

and leaders spot pressure patterns that reduce performance and impact before they create full burnout.

I've also hosted over 250 podcast episodes and built my work around what actually changes capacity in real life,

not just in theory.

By the end of this,

you'll know how to tell whether your stress is still serving your performance or whether it's quietly started working against you.

This is for high performing impact driven people who are doing meaningful work,

carrying responsibility well and still showing up strongly but are starting to feel that something is costing more than it should.

So maybe you're wondering if your stress is helping you or how would you know if it isn't?

That's what we're going to answer today because the danger isn't stress.

The danger is not noticing when it changes because pressure has limits.

So stress can start costing you before you start noticing it inside your daily life.

And this is where capable people get caught out.

They assume that because they're still performing well, stress isn't affecting them.

But one thing I've noticed working with so many leaders is

that stress often starts costing them long before it costs them anything visible on the outside.

They're still hitting deadlines and still leading well in the room

and still getting praised for good work as well but underneath

that i usually see a few shifts happening their decision making gets heavier their recovery gets neglected

and their emotional range just starts to get a lot narrower this is

because performance is not the same as capacity you can still

produce with a stressed out system for quite a long time especially

if you're a conscientious driven and used to carrying a lot kind of leader right

but when stress stays switched on your body starts using more energy to maintain your normal standards.

And that means that the same level of output starts costing you more internally.

In the stress performance pyramid that I use with clients,

this is where it becomes really,

really visible and less confusing about functioning really well.

If this is you, you may notice that you're still competent in public,

but less patient in private.

You still get things done,

but simple decisions feel strangely expensive and costly to you.

The risk isn't losing performance and impact, right?

A lot of PI performers believe that when they slow down or when they recover,

they're going to lose something.

It's actually about how much it's costing you to maintain it.

If you're recognising yourself in this

and you want to understand what your stress patterns may already be costing you

when it comes to your performance and impact

and your just daily general life then you can apply for

a private exploration call below where we'll look at your patterns your capacity

and whether there is a real opportunity to change what's driving it

so the second mistake is assuming

that harmful stress is going to announce itself clearly i've seen what stress looks like

when it's productive and i've seen what it looks like when the same drive starts reducing our judgment,

it shrinks our capacity, and it starts leaking into our health,

our relationship, and our long-term impact.

After two decades in this work,

I can tell you that unhealthy stress rarely starts with this big dramatic crash.

More often than not, it begins with a change in texture, right?

It starts to just show up very,

very differently and very subtly sometimes.

So thinking starts to get maybe a bit foggier,

perhaps sleep gets lighter, the body stays tense,

or you replay conversations over and over.

Maybe you push through and then crash.

Often it can feel like a bracing that's happening.

I had one client describe it perfectly to me, actually.

I remember she said, it feels like I'm always preparing for something bad to happen,

even when nothing's wrong.

This is the shift from acute stress into chronic stress, right?

Acute stress is that short-term rise to a challenge that then settles.

this is typically where the healthy stress lives

and then we have chronic stress

which is different there's no real off switch to it

so there's not necessarily a full return to baseline

when we're in chronic stress see burnout sits further down

that line as more of a cumulative effect of unresolved chronic stress

and then we have trauma that sits even deeper still

when kind of stress overwhelms the system and never really gets properly integrated

so no healthy stress and unhealthy stress do not feel obvious.

The unhealthy version often just feels normal because you've adapted to it.

Ask yourself honestly, when was the last time you felt fully settled?

Not distracted, not wired, not recovering from the week,

but genuinely settled inside your body?

Because the most dangerous stress is often the stress that started to feel familiar and we don't notice.

So take a moment to notice for yourself right now.

So the belief that pressure always leads to more growth is very,

very, very common, right?

But this is usually a real significant turning point because a lot of high performers still believe that the same pressure,

the ones sharpened them, will keep making them stronger.

But that belief works early, right?

But it often doesn't help later on.

See, pressure can sharpen focus and mobilize us into action and stretch us beyond our comfort zones and build confidence.

That's all healthy stress, right?

Psychologists call this eustress.

But the pattern changes when challenge stops being followed up by recovery.

I see this especially in people who are doing meaningful work, right?

They're not careless.

100

they actually care deeply about what it is they're doing often being a perhaps a parent

101

or a community member or a leader in the workplace they really do care

102

but they just keep on adding load without recalibrating themselves

103

and this is where the sweet spot matters most the yorks dodson law shows

104

that performance improves with stress up until a point too much and you get reactive and rigid or overloaded.

105

Too little, we feel flat, perhaps even bored.

106

In the middle is the optimum zone,

107

right, between calm and chaos.

108

This is where focus, flow and sustainable performance live.

109

The issue isn't how much stress you have,

110

it's about how well you're processing it.

111

So even if pressure has led to growth and success previously,

112

over time that's not the case.

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It's really really important to to bring yourself back into

114

that middle way so you can sustain performance over time think of it like a bow

115

and arrow a certain amount of tension creates power keep pulling without release

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and eventually you're going to create more force you are only creating strain

117

so we need to let go stress can absolutely support growth but pressure without recovery does not create expansion or growth.

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It creates a sense of distortion,

119

which a lot of high performers miss.

120

If you feel like you might be missing some of this and you want to understand what's really driving your performance patterns,

121

then check out the private exploration call below.

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And if it's a good fit for us to perhaps work together,

123

we can talk about next steps.

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If not, you'll simply leave with a lot more clarity and understanding of what's actually happening for you.

125

So the real work is not eliminating stress.

126

It's actually learning to recognize which kind of stress you're carrying that needs to happen.

127

So let me make this practical and share with you an example of a client that I've been working with.

128

So she's somebody who had been managing back to back product launches,

129

stepping into a much larger leadership role,

130

and she was planning her wedding all at the same time.

131

So for her, this was all good news.

132

It was everything that she wanted.

133

Right.

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But behind the scenes, she wasn't recovering well.

135

her sleep was really fragmented she felt

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that she had like stomach knots from time to time

137

and she started snapping at her team and her fiance right

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and she would then feel like super guilty about it

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so there was nothing wrong though externally

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so she couldn't quite put a finger on what was going

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on internally she was just living under this constant pressure this

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is what unhealthy stress often starts to look like in high performers not chaos but internal tension

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because the body never really kind of stands down the mind never fully closes off

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and closes the loops you know she was laying in bed

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every night thinking about this wedding plan did she get back to

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that person did she tell this person that

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or reply to this email this was all going on all the time

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so she was never fully closing the loops in her head

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and her system as a result was then staying alert

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and stimulated because the thing is her identity and sense of responsibility

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and her actual like bias to perfectionism had also started to feed off of the same state as well.

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So when stress is healthy,

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you can then stretch and kind of like recover over time.

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When stress is unhealthy, you stay switched on and start to call that normal.

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And that's exactly what she was doing.

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So she had to switch between the two by adding in a lot more recovery.

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So have a little moment

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and reflect for yourself is your stress still helping you is

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it is a challenge leaving you sharper than you were before

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or is stress hurting you

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and is success starting to come with some kind of hidden

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drain you don't need less ambition you just need more recovery it's as simple as

163

that when it comes to to early stress better regulation

164

and the ability to stop carry impression that longer serves you is the outcome

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that you then get the sweet spot between calm and chaos is not passive.

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It's actually where your best performance actually lives.

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This is where you can think clearly,

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lead well and recover properly.

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And you can create an impact without losing yourself in the process.

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So if stress keeps helping you to rise, fantastic.

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But if you feel like it's pulling you under,

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then the real skill is learning to recognize when it changes,

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not waiting until you collapse.

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If this video has helped,

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check out the next video,

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because everything we've talked about here becomes far more useful

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when you know how stress shows up in your body before performance drops.

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Watch that next.

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