शैडोइंग अभ्यास: You Don't Have a Speaking Problem.You Have THIS Problem - YouTube के साथ अंग्रेजी बोलना सीखें

You speak in your second language English fluently.

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You speak in your second language English fluently.

Maybe you have taken courses for years,

you have learned all your life,

you've watched a lot of videos,

and then you can understand a lot of things.

You can even be in a conversation with a group of English speakers,

and you're all right.

But sometimes during a conversation,

you realize that you go quiet.

Maybe in a meeting, maybe in a casual conversation,

whatever it is, there's just something that stops you from actually saying things.

So you hold back a lot,

and you're thinking to yourself,

like what is going on like i can speak i can understand

but what is stopping me from saying um saying them out loud

so in this video i want to talk about something

that a lot of like speaking english speaking coaches don't talk

about it's not really grammar it's not really your accent

or pronunciation or anything that is related to your language skills

but it's something that is a bit more subtle

and this could be a reason why a lot of fluent

non-natives like you still have difficulties expressing themselves even though technically in their English they're actually pretty good

and this is actually your identity problem let's get into it

so this is what I mean when people speak

or learn English they approach it as performance

so you learn the words you learn the sentences you learn the grammar

and then when it comes to actually speak you perform you make it sound

so perfect in hopes that people will nod, will agree.

The thing is, performing is not the same as expressing.

So think about yourself in your native language.

How do you show up as a person?

Maybe you like to make people laugh,

maybe you like to explain things that are complex,

maybe you are someone that is intelligent and people just feel very relaxed and casual around you.

Now think about who you are in English.

that the same person

because for intermediate to advanced speakers of english by intermediate to

advanced i mean like people who can actually speak english very

well um who can already use it quite regularly the answer

is no they are not the same person there is a version of you in your native language

and there's another version of you in english

and usually your english version is quieter smaller

and maybe even a flattened version of you where you cannot really fully express who you are

or who you want to or what you want to express.

So this gap between who you actually are as a person

and how you show up in English is called the identity gap.

And you cannot grammar your way out of it.

So I want to tell you a personal story.

When I was learning English growing up,

I had an idol that I really look up to and that I wanted to be like her when speaking in English.

And that is, this is actually fictional,

but it's Rory Gilmore from the series Gilmore Girls.

So in the series, Rory Gilmore is someone that is very quiet, reserved, very intelligent.

And she uses all of these really cool words to express herself and like a very cool sense of humor.

And it's just very witty.

So who is he?

How many languages can you say none of your business in?

Does he go to this school?

No, he doesn't.

And this is someone that I wanted to be.

and I think I was like in middle school

or in high school the time when I when I idolized her

so I took up her persona her personality

and in high school I did go to a public school then

but the curriculum was in English I was kind of performing

her a little bit you know the quiet studious Rory Gilmore

and um it worked for a little bit I really picked

up her habit of always bringing a book everywhere she goes and reading all of these classic literature and all that

And yeah, I started performing her personality and also kind of like the English that I thought she would use.

And then I got to university.

So for the first two years of university,

I still took on this Rory Gilmore persona.

I was still kind of like idolizing her.

She was still living somewhere inside me.

But the third year, that's when I wanted to be a bit more explorative

and discover a lot of new things that the USA had to offer because I went to university in the US.

And I realized that Rory Gilmore was a very quiet,

reserved student that wouldn't really explore her world this way,

the way I would.

She doesn't get loud.

She's not the most social person there is.

And I was at the time, you know.

And I felt like this identity that I kind of captured from Rory Gilmore was really limiting me.

And that's when I decided to tell myself, no, you know what?

I'm not going to stop.

I'm going to stop performing at this point

and I'm going to start exploring who i am as a person in english

so no more rory gilmore no more piggybacking of rory gilmore's character

and starting to build an identity of myself in english and

that shift from performing someone else's english to expressing my own

was not really a language skill i learned it's an identity decision

that i made and that is what i want for you

so before i keep on going i I actually made something for you.

It's a small two minute quiz called,

are you just speaking English or actually owning it?

So this talks about the language identity block that you may have,

and there are four of them.

And once you take the quiz,

it's going to give you the things to do,

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what to do about each one.

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So it is free.

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The link is in the description.

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So take it after this video because it's going to make what I'm about to say a lot more concrete.

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So what actually creates the identity gap?

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Why does that happen?

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So there are three things.

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First one is that you form your English identity around someone else like I did with Rory Gilmore.

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So just like me but like maybe instead of idolizing like a fictional character maybe you idolize someone else.

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Maybe like a colleague or maybe a teacher or someone

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that you have met in a networking event that you really look up to.

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Whatever it is you saw them you wanted to be them and you started to form your identity around them.

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So you unconsciously absorb their patterns and their style and their words and made them yours.

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And now every time you speak,

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you're performing a version of English that belongs to someone else's personality, not entirely yours.

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And number two, you are measuring against a standard that keeps on moving.

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So you look at native speakers or even fluent non-natives and you use them as a benchmark.

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But the problem is that that benchmark never stands still.

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So every time you go closer,

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you find someone else to start comparing yourself to.

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So the benchmark moves.

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And then just again, that cycle starts just when you get close enough,

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you find another person to compare to.

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So it's just you're never there.

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You're close enough, but you're never there.

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So what happens when this cycle keeps on going?

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You're always behind.

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You're never catching up.

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You're just always close enough, but never really there.

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And this kind of comparison is not natural, guys.

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I'm telling you, this is also not like in a way it's good because you're pushing yourself to be further,

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but it's not good because every single day you always feel

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that your english is not enough

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and the more you feed your thoughts this belief you're gonna start to believe it

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and you don't want that number three is that you never decide

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that your english is yours so this sounds simple

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but it's not a lot of non-minded speakers they speak english as

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if they're driving on a borrowed car so you drive very carefully

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you don't really take a lot of risks

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and you just want to return it the same condition

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that you borrowed it so non-honey speakers they take on this kind of attitude

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when they're speaking english so owning english means

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that you decide you consciously decide

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that english is just a vehicle for your thoughts for the

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way you see the world the world for your personality for your humor whatever it is

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so it's not a performance test but it's just yours

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and this decision to make english just a part of you

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to just use it to express who you are as a person will really change the way you show up

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when you speak in your in this second language

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so now what do you actually have to do with this

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so just one simple thing just one find a moment where

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you catch yourself shrinking in english like maybe it could be a meeting

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or a conversation or maybe like a message

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that you just don't want to send

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because it sounds too much like you you um it doesn't sound too much like your idealist idealized english self

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and ask yourself who would i have to be in english to say

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that thing so not who do i need to sound like

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but who do i need to be

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because the goal was never really to sound exactly like a native

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but to sound more like you fully completely without apology in any language

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and that's what owning your english looks like so

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if this lands with you if you feel recognized somewhere in this video then the quiz

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that I told you earlier can really be the first step for you.

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So here I will actually tell you exactly where your identity block sits and what to do about it.

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So link is in the description it takes about two minutes

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so also at this time I'm actually building a new program

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that is catered for fluent non-natives that are stuck just like you

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so if you want it you can also see

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that in the description if you want to be notified when it's finally launching.

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So I will see you next time on another video.

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Until then take care and bye-bye!

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