シャドーイング練習: On Narcissism 4: Nancy McWilliams - 動画で英語スピーキングを学ぶ
レッスンを作成中...
1
In the clinical literature on narcissism, you see a lot of commentary about how there are really two versions of it,
2
the arrogant version and the kind of depressed, depleted version.
3
We've called them different things.
4
I think Gabbard calls it the oblivious narcissist who's the one who's, I'm wonderful and everybody should worship me,
5
and the hypervigilant narcissist who's the one who's, where are my next self self-esteem supplies coming from.
6
I need affirmation that I'm okay.
7
There seems like there's something tautological about being like some people can be described as X, we'll say grandiose, and then you say,
8
oh well, they are that.
9
But it somehow doesn't get to the essence of what the thing is.
10
Right.
11
That's why I really don't like the DSM descriptions of personality disorders.
12
Starting in 1980, they tried to shift the DSM to having criteria that were able to look at external behaviors.
13
You can get more agreement among experts that way than if you're trying to infer what's going on inside.
14
But for a therapist, it's more important to know what's going on inside.
15
The DSM pretty much describes the more arrogant version.
16
But that arrogant version is a defense against another self-state in which the person feels terrible about themselves.
17
And so their issue is all about self-esteem maintenance.
18
And they use inflated self-esteem to defend against insufficient self-esteem.
19
So they're easier to understand
20
if you think of them as a person who came of age in such a way
21
that they were always having to get narcissistic supplies, as we say in the trade.
22
They need evidence of their being important and powerful and beautiful and well-known.
23
What would the DSM call the deflated narcissist?
24
They don't really have a category of that.
25
But somebody would show up as a...
26
We'd probably diagnose them as having a depression.
27
Not all depressions are alike, but the narcissistic version of depression is, I'm empty, I don't know who I am.
28
Help, I need somebody to make me popular and famous and powerful.
29
And where am I going to get that?
30
And I don't see where, so I'm depressed.
31
That's very different from other kinds of depression, which for example involve the fear that I'm bad.
32
It's more of a guilty depression.
33
The narcissistic version of a depression is a shamed depression.
34
If you've got certain capacities and you have narcissistic psychological tendencies,
35
then if you're successful you tend to look very grandiose, but therapists see a lot of people who either were successful
36
and lost it and then they don't know who they are
37
and they don't know what life is about
38
or who wish they had it and are very empty and come to us saying things like, you got to make me popular, you got to make me,
39
if only I were beautiful and rich and connected then I'd be fine.
40
And they don't have a concept of anything else
41
that would make them okay how you get this way is
42
that somehow your truer qualities your more authentic qualities especially your feelings were not fully accepted
43
and recognized by your family of origin and for whatever reason
44
that created in you the sense that you you had to be false in some ways or you had no value.
45
Now one version of how to create a person with difficult narcissistic problems is to be super critical all the time.
46
You know, why an A?
47
Why not an A plus?
48
And the child will always feel I'm not good enough
49
and get desperate to be good enough because that's the only way that the kid feels valuable.
50
But another way to do it is to say you're wonderful, you're terrific.
51
If your teacher criticizes you, I'm going to go and tell her a thing or two.
52
We're seeing a lot of that in Western cultures these days because we've tried to overcorrect for the previous version.
53
But the kid can get the same message there because
54
if a kid feels that the parent needs them to be perfect and is distorting them into a perfect being,
55
they're not getting any message that their ordinary,
56
flawed, naughty, problematic qualities are part of them and acceptable because they're a human being.
57
So you can create somebody with a big problem in their
58
core sense of who they are by any kind of distortion to try to make them into the child
59
that a parent needs to reflect well on the parent.
60
In the literature again and again we find that people tell us histories
61
that make it sound to us like they were treated as, the jargon is narcissistic extensions.
62
The parent needs them to be an extension of the parent that sheds a great light on the parent.
63
Now we all do this to some extent with our kids, we want our kids to make us look good as parents.
64
But if that's the chronic constant message, you have to be perfect so that your parent will look perfect.
65
The kid gets to learn that you're fulfilling a function for your parents' self-esteem, but who are you?
66
So there's an emptiness about it.
67
And The most painful thing about the emptiness is the inability to really love other people as they are.
68
People with narcissistic issues in relationships tend to be chronically critical
69
in trying to improve their partner rather than deeply loving a person as he or she is.
70
Very often people with a lot of narcissistic problems can idealize other people.
71
And that's the closest they get to real love.
72
And in relationships, they fall in love,
73
meaning that they go through that early phase of idealizing the other person that we all do when we fall in love.
74
And then, you know, when they realize that the person they are in love with is a human being, they start getting critical.
75
And it's because they really don't have the concept of having been loved for who they are.
76
So they can't love others for who they are.
77
But they use the term love and they'll talk about somebody being the most wonderful this or the best that.
78
And so idealization is sort of the closest that they can get.
79
They criticize other people for not taking care of them.
80
In fact, a real problem in relationships with a narcissistic person is that people who are
81
very narcissistic in their personalities tend to have this idea that if I'm in relationship with you,
82
you should simply divine my needs and meet them.
83
I shouldn't have to ask because I feel shame about asking.
84
Shame is really at the root of narcissistic problems if I say to them when they complain about somebody,
85
well, did you make your needs explicit?
86
What I get back is, what do you mean needs?
87
You see the shame and the contempt for their, being a person with needs.
88
And in couple therapy, I'll try to get them to actually say, here's what I would need from you.
89
But it's really, really hard for them.
90
They would prefer to stay in the position of, you did that wrong, you're just a loser.
91
Especially acknowledging one's dependency on other people.
92
It seems to be quite terrifying for people who are brought
93
up not being fully affirmed as who they are to feel dependent on somebody else.
94
I'm talking about normal human dependency now, not people who are pathologically unable to take care of themselves,
95
but normally people were interdependent.
96
We require the forgiveness of our friends and partners when we make mistakes.
97
We feel gratitude when people meet our needs.
98
If you're brought up that you have to be perfect and grandiose, whatever way you got that message, whether it was from the culture at large or from your parents,
99
but where it's over learned that you have to be a a false self, a grandiose kind of a person.
100
You can't genuinely apologize because that's admitting a flaw.
101
You can't genuinely thank because that's acknowledging need.
102
And so the two things that are really the most important to repair and sustain relationships are out of your capacity.
103
So you end up doing things like apology substitutes, which tend to leave other people cold.
104
Like, you know, if I am nasty to my husband on Monday and I make him a really nice dinner on Tuesday,
105
he's not gonna warm up to me unless I also say, I'm making you a really nice dinner tonight because I feel bad about how I treated you last night.
106
If I just make him the dinner and then get pissed off
107
that he doesn't realize that this is my way undoing what I did, you can see that the relationship doesn't improve at all.
108
And the same with thanks.
109
You know, it's a different transaction.
110
If I go to a teacher who's helped my kid and
111
if I say thank you so much for how you've helped my daughter, then if I go in and do a kind of thank-you substitute,
112
like nice job with my kid, very well done, as if I'm in a position of superiority dispensing praise.
113
So it's sort of painful to watch people with narcissistic psychologies
114
try to sort of get along in a world in
115
which they don't know how to apologize and they don't know how to thank
116
because they can't acknowledge their interdependence on other people.
117
that we later diagnose as narcissistic, they don't even know their feelings because they haven't had people name them.
118
Their feelings are unformulated.
119
So they often can identify that they're in a rage or they're feeling envy, but some of the more nuanced feelings they can't even find in themselves.
120
What's an example of a nuanced feeling?
121
Being sad, being regretful, finding oneself having mixed feelings about something, feeling tender.
122
It's not like the older descriptions of neurosis where you have unconscious sadness, for example.
123
It's more like you don't even know what sadness is.
124
Nobody ever helped you grieve.
125
So when you're feeling sort of a painful sense, you don't even know how to deal with it, what to call it.
126
You tend to be critical of yourself
127
and then critical of anybody else who's sort of open about sadness or limitation or dependency.
128
And you suffuse yourself with contempt because you're feeling this thing that you don't understand.
129
But we have learned over the past hundred years that there are some people who can't find their anger, even though they look angry to other people,
130
because they literally don't feel it.
131
In fact, there's been some research done in Canada where they've used fMRIs on people who are so-called alexithymic,
132
which is a fancy word for they don't know what they're feeling.
133
They have no words for affect, is really what the Greek term means.
134
And if you take fMRIs of their brain, they really aren't feeling what everybody else will say they're feeling.
135
They'll be in a group and everybody will say, you're angry!
136
And they'll be acting what all the rest of us would think of as angry.
137
They literally don't know that that's what's going on.
138
Something isn't hooking up in their brain.
139
I think we'll learn a lot more about the neurology of this eventually,
140
but that's very different from I can find my anger if I just am honest with myself.
141
Well, I can say a few things about treatment.
142
There's always been controversy about how to work with people with narcissistic dynamics,
143
dynamics and partly it's because they can have such different presentations.
144
They can be devaluing or they can be idealizing or there's some other ways that they sometimes relate.
145
All of these are their ways of trying to have a relationship but they differ in what they require.
146
There are basically a couple of ways of framing it.
147
One important theorist, Heinz Kohut, basically said we all have this and
148
if you have a good enough family you can idealize a parent
149
and then slowly realize that they're human and that's a kind of natural trajectory.
150
And where you run into narcissistic problems is if the parent isn't good enough to idealize in the first place,
151
so you can't take in the sense of identification with a good enough person, or when they, later in the process,
152
when they resist your seeing them as human, like in kindergarten when they come home and tell you that their teacher knows more about dinosaurs than you do,
153
and you have to continue to be seen as the wonderful, perfect parent of the three-year-old,
154
if you can't take their de-idealization, then they'll get stuck.
155
And that's a way of thinking of it as a normal developmental process that people get stuck in.
156
And therapy involves just helping them along that, get back on that developmental path.
157
And the other main approach to it construes it as more
158
of a getting off the path at the very beginning and using radically maladaptive ways of dealing with development,
159
especially devaluation of anything you might envy.
160
And if you frame people like that, you kind of have to slowly take apart their tendency
161
to devalue and show them the needs and the shame and the envy underneath that.
162
And how you work with patients depends on whether you're going from one theory or the other, how you see the particular patient,
163
because some patients are better candidates for one than the other, and also to some extent the therapist's own personality, because especially with this kind of difficulty,
164
it's really important that the therapist be fully authentic.
165
You have to integrate who you are with how you understand any particular patient.
166
So you can't do really good psychotherapy by applying a formula to anybody.
167
Good enough?
168
Good enough object.
✨ おすすめ動画
C11
30 文
Narcissism Is a Defense Against BPD | OTTO KERNBERG
IELTS PrepTOEFL PrepUniversity Students
C11
212 文
Self-Help: What Went Wrong?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C12
20 文
Are You Shy? Or Is It Social Anxiety?
British AccentBusiness EnglishDaily ConversationUniversity Students
C11
593 文
The Dark Psychology of Value: Force Others to Respect - Alain de Botton
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B21
213 文
Actress and Activist AnnaLynne McCord Dissociative Identity Disorder Diagnosis (Part 1)
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1193 文
Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
115 文
Neuroscientist: "DELETE Your Social Media NOW!" - Here's Why!
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C1225 文
Narcissists' Enabler Parent: Why They Didn't Protect You
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
B22
91 文
Nobody Gets Away With Betrayal
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
338 文
1k
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C137
38 文
Does A Psychotic Person Need To Be Hospitalized?
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
C11
457 文
How to be less neurotic | The Gray Area
Daily ConversationUniversity StudentsWorking Adults
このレッスンの語彙とスピーキングのポイント
このC1レベルのスピーキングレッスンは、動画「On Narcissism 4: Nancy McWilliams」を教材にしています。 繰り返し出てくる語は次のとおりです：narcissistic, parent, feeling, version。 この動画には、シャドーイング用の文が168文、単語が2321語あります。 音声の長さは16:57です。 話す速さは1分あたり約137語で安定しており、シャドーイングしやすいペースです。 単語の86%は英語の頻出3,000語に含まれます。残りは練習の前に確認しておきましょう。
この動画の重要語彙
動画の中で特に難しい単語15語を、発音と意味つきで紹介します。
| 単語 | 発音 | 意味 |
|---|---|---|
| esteem 動詞 | /ɪˈstiːm/ | 重んじる, 敬う |
| narcissist 名詞 | ナルシスト | |
| dependency 名詞 | /dɪˈpɛndənsi/ | 付属品 |
| arrogant 形容詞 | /ˈæɹəɡənt/ | 傲慢な |
| envy 名詞 | /ˈɛnvi/ | 嫉妬, ねたみ |
| sadness 名詞 | /ˈsædnəs/ | 悲しみ |
| therapist 名詞 | /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/ | セラピスト, 治療士 |
| diagnose 動詞 | /ˈdaɪ.əɡˌnoʊs/ | 診断する |
| emptiness 名詞 | 空虚, 空 | |
| nuance 名詞 | /ˈnjuː.ɑːns/ | ニュアンス, 意味合い |
| criticize 動詞 | /ˈkɹɪtɪsaɪz/ | 批判する, 非難する |
| contempt 名詞 | /kənˈtɛmpt/ | 軽蔑, 軽侮 |
| tendency 名詞 | /ˈtɛn.dən.si/ | 傾向, 趨勢 |
| authentic 形容詞 | /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/ | 本物の, 真正な |
| dynamics 名詞 | /dɑɪˈnæm.ɪks/ | 動力学, ダイナミクス |
動画に出てくる句動詞
| 単語 | 意味 |
|---|---|
| bring up 動詞 | 育てる |
| get off 動詞 | 降りる |
| show up 動詞 | 現れる |
繰り返し練習したい文
動画に出てくる短く完結した文です。日常会話でそのまま使えます。
- We've called them different things.
- I need affirmation that I'm okay.
- We'd probably diagnose them as having a depression.
- What I get back is, what do you mean needs?
- You can't genuinely apologize because that's admitting a flaw.
この動画の文法
話し手がよく使っている文型を、動画の実際の表現とともに紹介します。
| 文型 | 動画での表現 |
|---|---|
| 関係詞節 who / which + 節 — 人や物について情報を加える | person who came · people who either · people who are |
| 受動態 be + 過去分詞 — 誰がするかより、何が起きるかに焦点を当てる | can be described · were treated · been loved |
| 現在完了形 have/has + 過去分詞 — 過去の出来事が今も関係している | We've called · we've tried · you've helped |
注意したい発音
話し手はdon't, I'm, you'reなど、短縮形や弱形を80回使っています。聞こえたとおりの短い形で発音しましょう。
- 「th」の音: therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, authentic /ɔˈθɛn.tɪk/, alexithymic /əˌlɛksɪˈθaɪmɪk/, pathologically /ˌpæθ.əˈlɑ.d͡ʒɪk.li/, psychotherapy /ˌsaɪkoʊˈθɛɹəpi/
- 「sh」と「zh」の音: affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, distortion /dɪsˈtɔːʃən/, limitation /lɪmɪˈteɪʃən/, insufficient /ɪnsəˈfɪʃənt/, unconscious /ˌʌnˈkɑnʃəs/
- 長い単語（アクセントの位置に注意）: narcissistic /ˌnɑɹ.sɪˈsɪs.tɪk/, dependency /dɪˈpɛndənsi/, developmental /dɪˌvɛləpˈmɛntəl/, alexithymic /əˌlɛksɪˈθaɪmɪk/, criterion /kɹaɪˈtɪɹ.i.ən/
日本語話者が苦手な音：
- /r/ と /l/ の区別 — /l/ は舌先を歯茎につけ、/r/ はどこにもつけない: neurology /n(j)ʊ(ə)ˈɹɒləd͡ʒi/, radically /ˈɹædɪkli/, problematic /ˌpɹɑ.bləˈmæt.ɪk/
- /v/ — /b/ にならないように、上の歯を下唇に当てる: envy /ˈɛnvi/, devalue /diːˈvæljuː/, developmental /dɪˌvɛləpˈmɛntəl/, grieve /ɡɹiːv/, maladaptive /ˌmæləˈdæptɪv/
- /f/ — 「フ」ではなく、上の歯と下唇で出す: affirm /əˈfɝm/, affirmation /æfɝˈmeɪʃn/, deflate /diːˈfleɪt/, inflate /ɪnˈfleɪt/, suffuse /səˈfjuːz/
この動画での練習方法
- まず声を出さずに動画を最後まで聞き、知らない単語をメモします。
- 通常の速度で一文ずつシャドーイングし、話し手のリズムに合うまで繰り返します。
- 自分の声を録音して元の音声と比べます。esteem, narcissist, dependencyなどの単語に特に注意しましょう。
シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由
シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。