シャドーイング練習: the art of having perfect conversation - YouTubeで英語スピーキングを学ぶ
C1
I recently attended a small gathering and honestly,
349 文
文が短すぎたり長すぎる場合は、Editをタップして調整してください。
1
I recently attended a small gathering and honestly,
2
I felt so bored and understimulated.
3
You know, I knew everyone there pretty well,
4
but the conversations just were not flowing,
5
no one was asking follow-up questions,
6
and the topics felt very one-dimensional.
7
We all want to leave a social setting feeling good,
8
and on that day, I did not.
9
Instead, I left frustrated thinking,
10
why is everyone so boring?
11
And the next few days,
12
I could not stop thinking about it.
13
I replayed some of the conversations in my head,
14
pondering questions like what would have made it more enjoyable
15
and were the others having a good time and of course the dreaded question was I the boring one.
16
And all this made me wonder what actually makes a conversation good and what makes a bad one.
17
And so I started thinking about some of the recent positive experiences that I've had to use as a case study.
18
Here is some background to the scenario that I picked.
19
Lunch date with guy I was dating.
20
Tall, dark, handsome.
21
It was date number six.
22
By the way, can you imagine being this guy
23
and seeing this video of me writing an entire video essay about what made our conversation so enjoyable?
24
This is why I could never date a YouTuber, they are weird.
25
Now, of course, this video is not about that date or that person in particular.
26
We are just going to use that scenario to try
27
and generate some more in-depth understanding of the complex art of having good conversation.
28
The general admissions gate.
29
The general admissions gate is the basic criteria we subconsciously set before we even consider having a conversation with someone.
30
And now, of course, there can be countless reasons for why we might not want to engage with someone.
31
Everything from their appearance to their behavior or even just our mood in that moment.
32
Now, obviously, date number six.
33
So he had passed the admissions gate already.
34
And then comes the add-ons or levels.
35
We will call it level one,
36
which is there is some level of interest in that other person.
37
And this interest could be anything, really.
38
You know, it could be your neighbor telling you about their recent trip to Sydney,
39
a place that you have always wanted to visit,
40
or it could be a colleague you bond with over shared love for tacos,
41
or it could simply be just someone having really great sense of style.
42
As for my date, level one was reached the moment we swiped right on each other
43
and started messaging because it signals that there is something there that I'm curious about or intrigued by.
44
Now, the reason I mentioned this is because
45
oftentimes we tend to enjoy a conversation more if we already have some sort of established interest in that person.
46
Whether we are romantically interested in them,
47
or we find them entertaining,
48
or just intellectually stimulating, our reason for having level one interest in someone can vary greatly.
49
But if you, on the other hand,
50
find no interest in that person at all,
51
regardless of reason, you're not likely to find a conversation with them interesting either.
52
Okay, now that you and this person,
53
or in my case, me and this guy,
54
are on a level one basis,
55
let's break down the conversation itself,
56
but from the very beginning,
57
because it actually starts before the conversation itself.
58
So let's take a look at what I mean.
59
Let's picture two different scenarios with this guy,
60
who we will just call Guy from here on.
61
Here is scenario one.
62
Guy and I enter this lunch place and sit at our table.
63
Guy keeps his coat on.
64
He puts his phone on the table and he orders a small side dish because he said he's already full.
65
He had a meal before he came here.
66
And here is scenario two.
67
Guy and I enter this lunch place.
68
He goes to hang up his coat before we take a seat.
69
He leaves his phone out of sight and he orders a proper meal.
70
Now, some people may not even take note of any of these things,
71
but I think most people do and sometimes subconsciously.
72
So here is what scenario one signals.
73
I am not making myself comfortable.
74
I'm not feeling relaxed.
75
I'm open to being distracted and I don't plan on staying for that long.
76
I knew we were having lunch,
77
but I disregarded that and ate before coming here anyway.
78
Here is what scenario two signals.
79
I am making myself comfortable.
80
I'm in no rush.
81
I plan on being present with no distractions from my phone,
82
and since we agreed on lunch, that's what we're doing.
83
I want to be here.
84
Now, why does this matter?
85
Because feeling relaxed, comfortable, and at ease is usually a prerequisite for potentially having a good time and an enjoyable conversation.
86
We want to feel like the other person wants to be there,
87
and we're constantly, subconsciously and otherwise,
88
picking up cues that signal these things to us.
89
Alright, you're both seated now,
90
you and whoever in this scenario, it's Guy and I.
91
And before discussing the conversation itself,
92
let's take a look at the initial body language,
93
and let's do the scenarios again.
94
Scenario 1.
95
Guy maintains the appropriate amount of eye contact,
96
as we are beginning to converse,
97
which is said to be 50% of the time while you're speaking,
98
70% of the time while you're listening.
99
He also has an open posture,
100
slightly leaning in towards me,
101
subtly stroking my arm when appropriate and then observing how I respond.
102
His facial expressions reflect the topic and mood of the conversation.
103
He smiles as I tell him something that excites me.
104
He looks concerned when I tell him something heavy.
105
Scenario 2 Guy leans back,
106
arms crossed, scanning the room,
107
hardly looking at me as he speaks or as I speak.
108
His face is mostly expressionless,
109
not changing as I tell him something exciting,
110
nor when I tell him something heavy.
111
Here's what scenario 1 signals.
112
I'm listening.
113
I hear you.
114
I feel relaxed and I'm glad to be here.
115
Here's what scenario 2 signals.
116
I'm not interested.
117
I'm not really into you or this conversation.
118
I'm distracted.
119
I'm tense.
120
I'm not fully present.
121
Now let's talk about the conversation itself, starting with active listening.
122
Besides body language, what did Guy do that made me feel like he was really listening?
123
1. Guy did not rush me when I spoke.
124
He wasn't bursting to chime in with his own view or opinion or personal anecdote.
125
I felt like I had space to elaborate my view and to think before I spoke.
126
Number two, he responded with relevant follow-up questions or statements.
127
So, let's say that I told Guy,
128
this apple would be so good with some Himalayan salt.
129
You know, my mom would always add it to our fruit bowls growing up,
130
but my sister never liked it.
131
Here's an example of a good follow-up question that Guy could ask.
132
Do you still add Himalayan salt your apples like your mom used to do?
133
And what else did you and your sister grow up disagreeing on?
134
Here's an example of a relevant follow-up statement.
135
Because, you know, a good conversation does not only consist of back and forth questions,
136
it also consists of statements.
137
So perhaps he could have said something like,
138
my mom also used to make us fruit bowls,
139
piers instead of apples though.
140
And you know those pyramids that you can get at X market,
141
they've become sort of nostalgic for me now.
142
Here's an example of something I could've said that would be neither a question nor really a statement,
143
but rather just some words that tell me he's not really listening or he's just disinterested.
144
Oh, that's crazy.
145
And now, a conversation is not even all about just follow-up questions and statements.
146
Sometimes it's about acknowledging and validating the other person,
147
both verbally and via body language.
148
Let's say someone says, my trip to Australia is only 5 days away.
149
If relevant, you could enthusiastically say something like,
150
I can tell that really excites you.
151
It's not a question, it's simply acknowledging their emotions.
152
Or if they share something heavy like,
153
it was hard losing a friend like that.
154
Saying something like, it seems like this change has been really heavy on you.
155
It makes the other person feel seen and supported.
156
Number 2 – The conversation remains within your frame of comfort Your frame of comfort will look different depending on the situation,
157
who you're having a conversation with.
158
It's just a fancy way of saying,
159
what I feel comfortable talking about depends on who I'm talking to.
160
I find that some of the best conversations are
161
when you both are able to pick up on it without verbally expressing it.
162
You intuitively know what's appropriate to say and what isn't.
163
There is this underlying agreement.
164
Now, it's not always obvious finding that balance between showing interest
165
and curiosity about a person without being intrusive and overstepping a boundary.
166
I mean, I literally had a hairdresser ask me how much money I make once.
167
It's worth mentioning here that our personal boundaries are often very much influenced by things like our culture and our upbringing.
168
If you're unsure about a topic or conversation,
169
a good way to remain respectful is to first say something like,
170
you know, I'm curious about something,
171
but I understand it can be a bit of a sensitive topic for some people,
172
so please don't feel any pressure to respond.
173
Number three is smooth transition of topics and depth of conversation.
174
We tend to enjoy multi-dimensional dialogue when we get to feel and experience different types of emotions when we're talking to someone.
175
Guy and I would talk about some very deep,
176
meaningful things, and we would also be silly and keep it lighthearted,
177
and we were able to go from one topic to the next seamlessly.
178
Number 4 – A 50-50 talking-listening ratio Now it doesn't need to be exactly 50-50 every time.
179
It's really just that a good conversation feels balanced.
180
You feel like you have listened to another person,
181
you have allowed them to speak and open up,
182
while also feeling heard and like you got to say what was on your mind.
183
No one wants to feel like they are just an ear,
184
and no one wants to feel like they need to carry the entire conversation.
185
Number 5.
186
Tone of voice and energy level.
187
We've all been there.
188
You're spending time with someone and you can barely hear what they say.
189
I've been in situations where I need to hold my breath while they speak,
190
just so I can hear them.
191
Now naturally, that's going to be exhausting.
192
And there's also the other extreme end of that,
193
where the person is so loud that it makes you uncomfortable,
194
where they will loudly yell out something like, what?
195
He cheated with Lila from HR?
196
No consideration for the fact that it's a sensitive topic,
197
and not every single person at the restaurant needs to know what we're talking about.
198
Naturally, we all have different tones of voice and energy levels when we speak,
199
and we don't need to match perfectly with another person in order to have an enjoyable conversation.
200
But it's quite a relief when you are somewhat synced.
201
And Guy and I were like that.
202
I could breathe and still hear him,
203
and I also didn't have to worry about everyone hearing us.
204
It just felt harmonious.
205
Number 6.
206
Comfortable silences.
207
So, in between talking and bantering,
208
Guy and I would chew our food in peace,
209
and we would occasionally lean back for a brief moment,
210
inviting bits of silence.
211
And I find that being able to do that makes social interactions feel less draining,
212
especially if you're introverted.
213
I know to me, it's not even just about wanting to have pauses while conversing.
214
It's also because I genuinely want to take a look around once in a while.
215
I find it interesting to see who's at the restaurant,
216
what is the vibe like,
217
what song is playing, people watch, and what not.
218
If we are constantly talking and there's no space for a small break,
219
I can't really absorb my surroundings.
220
I wish to do that.
221
Number 7.
222
That thing that you cannot pinpoint.
223
Look, sometimes we just click with some people.
224
I don't know if there is science behind it,
225
I don't know if it's pheromones,
226
chemistry, hormones, spiritual, I don't know.
227
All I know is that it happens.
228
So even though perhaps the other person was too loud,
229
and they kept their coat on,
230
and they talked way too much about themselves,
231
you still left feeling good,
232
inspired, excited, and like you want to see them again.
233
Now let's touch on some of the things that have the potential of making a conversation feel like a negative experience.
234
I'll try to bring up points that aren't simply the opposite of everything I already discussed.
235
1. Excessive expressions and body language.
236
It's the constant mmhmm, mmhmm,
237
mmhmm, yeah yeah yeah, mmhmm, mmhmm.
238
So I do this, and I try not to.
239
I do it as a way to validate the other person,
240
like I want them to really know that I'm here,
241
I'm listening, but it becomes too much.
242
It's not necessary.
243
I know when someone else does it,
244
it makes me feel so stressed,
245
like I need to really rush through my point because they are getting impatient,
246
they just want me to finish my sentence.
247
2. They agree with every little thing that you say.
248
This is one of those things that makes the conversation feel disingenuous,
249
of course, we like it when we have a lot in common with someone
250
and when we seem to agree on a lot of things,
251
but we can also appreciate having different views with people and to be introduced to new perspectives.
252
But even more so, we want honesty and authenticity,
253
and I think it's safe to say that there is no way
254
that you can 100% agree on every little thing we talk about.
255
3. No intellectual exchange This is not about being pretentious and quoting ancient philosophers every other sentence to seem like an intellectual.
256
It's simply about being well-read,
257
being up-to-date with some current events,
258
perhaps having a similar educational level,
259
although not always necessary, and just being able to understand each other.
260
At the very least, being open and interested in learning about various things.
261
So let's say you are on a date,
262
platonic or romantic, and much of the conversation consists of, oh, what's that?
263
Oh, I've never heard that.
264
Never tried that.
265
Don't know where that place is.
266
Don't know anything about that.
267
It can make it difficult to relate to one another and become very under-stimulating if they never really have anything to add.
268
4. Not respecting or ignoring personal space There is this personal space illustration where the furthest is social,
269
the closer is personal, the closest is intimate.
270
Thankfully, as a Swede, we love personal space.
271
It's a cultural thing.
272
I wouldn't say it's at all a regular occurrence that someone is standing way too close to your face,
273
but it does happen.
274
And the most confusing thing is when you feel someone this close to you,
275
you can like feel their breath.
276
And so you suddenly, you know,
277
take a couple of steps back and then they follow you.
278
Why are you following me now?
279
Not respecting personal space can also be,
280
you know, insisting on having a conversation or asking a question that the other person is clearly not interested in,
281
or it's making them uncomfortable.
282
It can also be things like sending multiple messages when it's not being reciprocated.
283
Come on.
284
We're all spending a ton of time on our phones.
285
And sure, you know, we will still be busy,
286
we have a lot going on,
287
but we have seen the text.
288
At least I'm 90% sure that we have.
289
We have seen the email,
290
and we're either too busy to respond at the moment,
291
and so we will respond at a later point,
292
or we're just not interested and we will not respond at all.
293
Stop the double texting.
294
And by the way, this,
295
I think, is way more of a personal pet peeve of mine,
296
rather than general advice.
297
5. Any level of rudeness or disrespect.
298
This one is a no-brainer.
299
You know, if someone is being rude,
300
making inappropriate jokes, belittling you,
301
or anything that feels disrespectful,
302
it's, of course, not going to be a good experience.
303
6. Excessive complaining and negativity.
304
So this is me, I'm afraid.
305
I hate when I catch myself doing this,
306
even something seemingly innocent like complaining about the weather.
307
I just don't want to be that person.
308
I want to make weather-appropriate plans,
309
wear weather-appropriate clothes, and go with it.
310
Of course, we can complain sometimes.
311
In fact, I think we should complain sometimes.
312
I don't know if there's any science to back this up,
313
but I think it's healthy in small doses.
314
you need to vent to your friends.
315
That's not even complaining.
316
And you may want to discuss different perspectives.
317
You need to relieve some stress.
318
That is all fine.
319
But what we're talking about here is the chronic complainer,
320
where their mindset is just so negative and it just clouds even you and it can be quite draining.
321
And now look, most important of all,
322
you should know this and I should know this.
323
There is not a blueprint for a good conversation.
324
Just like there is no blueprint for success or finding love,
325
we just do our best and sometimes it goes the way we want it,
326
sometimes it does not.
327
You just need to be absolutely okay with that.
328
Every encounter is different, every person is different,
329
every relationship is different, there is a time and a place.
330
For example, there are plenty of situations where shallow level small talk is perfectly appropriate and even enjoyable.
331
And then there are situations where going deeper is the right move.
332
There are times when we don't want follow-up questions because we're just not interested in going deeper with that person,
333
and then sometimes that's exactly what we wish to happen.
334
It's important to be mindful of the situation we're in,
335
who we're speaking to, and to pick up on their cues and respect their boundaries.
336
We need to fully understand that no one owes you a good time,
337
or any time at all,
338
and neither do you owe others that.
339
I think a word that beautifully sums up what we are ultimately experiencing in those rare,
340
really good conversations is intersubjectivity,
341
which is something I just learned about.
342
I guess you could say it's just a fancy way of referring to that shared understanding,
343
meaning, and connection between people.
344
It's like when part of you connects with another person,
345
even if it's just for a moment,
346
and then you come back to yourself.
347
It's the process by which people come to understand and relate to each other's inner worlds.
348
It goes beyond just having a conversation.
349
It's the mutual understanding that builds over time through meaningful exchanges.
アプリをダウンロード
話したすべての文をAIが採点
TRENDING
人気動画
この動画で話す練習をする理由
会話は私たちの社会生活において非常に重要な役割を果たします。この動画では、良い会話のアートについての実体験を通じて、英語スピーキング練習に役立つポイントが紹介されています。会話がうまくいかない理由や、その理由を理解することで、よりスムーズな会話を実現する手助けができるのです。
特に、英語スピーキング練習を行う際には、実際の会話の中から学ぶことが有効です。影響力のある会話のスタイルや相手に興味を持つことが、より充実した会話を生むための鍵となります。また、こうした実例を通じて、自信を持って話せるようになるでしょう。
文法と文脈での表現
- 肯定的な関心を表す表現: 動画内で話者は、他者への「関心」を示す表現を用いています。これにより、相手との距離感を縮め、より親密な会話が可能になります。
- フォローアップ質問: 会話を活性化させるための質問が重要であることが強調されています。これにより、相手からの反応を引き出し、会話が一方通行にならないようにします。
- 非言語的コミュニケーション: 表情やジェスチャーが会話に影響を与えることが言及されており、これを積極的に取り入れることで、より効果的なコミュニケーションが実現します。
これらの構造を意識することで、特にIELTS スピーキング対策としても、より流暢で自然な英会話が実現できます。
一般的な発音の罠
動画内には、いくつかの発音に注意が必要な単語や表現があります。特に、言葉のリズムやイントネーションが会話の流れに大きな影響を与えます。
- 興味を示す: "curious"や"intrigued"のような語は、スムーズに発音しないと、相手に伝わりにくくなる場合があります。これらの単語をshadowspeakによって練習することで、発音が改善されます。
- 共通の話題を話す: "bond"や"share"などの単語も、正確に発音する必要があります。これにより、会話が成立しやすくなります。
これらの言葉に注意を払いながら英語の発音を良くする練習を行うことで、より魅力的な会話ができるようになるでしょう。
シャドーイングとは？英語上達に効果的な理由
シャドーイング（Shadowing）は、もともとプロの通訳者養成プログラムで開発された言語学習法で、多言語習得者として知られるDr. Alexander Arguelles によって広く普及されました。方法はシンプルですが非常に効果的：ネイティブスピーカーの英語を聞きながら、1〜2秒の遅延で声に出してすぐに繰り返す——まるで「影（shadow）」のように話者を追いかけます。文法ドリルや受動的なリスニングと異なり、シャドーイングは脳と口の筋肉が同時にリアルタイムで英語を処理・再現することを強制します。研究により、発音精度、抑揚、リズム、連音、リスニング力、そして会話の流暢さが大幅に向上することが確認されています。IELTSスピーキング対策や自然な英語コミュニケーションを目指す方に特におすすめです。