쉐도잉 연습: How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
C1
Reviewer.com Good evening.
⏸ 일시 정지
재생 속도:
모든 문장277 문장
문장이 너무 짧거나 길면 Edit를 눌러 조정하세요.
1
Reviewer.com Good evening.
2
Good evening.
3
How are you?
4
Are you good?
5
Great.
6
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this match.
7
This match will take exactly 18 minutes.
8
And you're all part of the same team.
9
Mechelen.
10
Okay?
11
Hey guys, I would like to see fair play on the field, respect and positivity.
12
Is that okay for everyone?
13
Cool.
14
Good luck.
15
One year ago, I decided I wanted to become a football referee.
16
Not because of the money, though.
17
I only get paid 20 euros per match,
18
so I won't really get rich by it, will I?
19
No, I decided to become a referee for two other reasons.
20
One, to stay in good shape.
21
Two, because I wanted to learn how not to take things personally.
22
I can see some people nodding.
23
You are probably thinking being a referee is the perfect environment to learn how not to take things personally, isn't it?
24
Because the spectators hardly ever shout encouraging or positive things.
25
No. What do they shout?
26
Come on, come on.
27
Losers!
28
Are you blind?
29
Yeah, yeah, good.
30
As a referee, I'm the scapegoat.
31
Apparently, I'm always wrong.
32
It's always my fault.
33
And I wanted to learn how not to take all this personally.
34
because I really struggle with this.
35
For example, when I drive slowly because I'm trying to find a specific location and somebody is just driving behind me,
36
I feel hunted, especially when they start honking and flashing their headlights.
37
I take it personally.
38
I know I shouldn't, but it just happens.
39
Do you see what I mean?
40
Yeah.
41
Or when somebody counts as an appointment last minute,
42
I get the feeling that I'm not important enough.
43
Again, I take it personally.
44
Even professionally.
45
I'm a public speaker, like tonight,
46
this is what I do.
47
I give keynote speeches, and I really like it,
48
as long as I can draw my audience into my story.
49
Because the very moment I see somebody is not paying attention,
50
for example, when somebody is looking at his smartphone, it just happens.
51
I take it personally.
52
Relax, you are safe tonight, don't worry.
53
Feel free to take your smartphones and you can even start talking to your neighbor.
54
I will not take it personally.
55
Why not?
56
Because now, here and now,
57
I'm very conscious that this can happen.
58
And more importantly, I have a strategy to deal with it.
59
So tonight, I would like to share this strategy with you.
60
Are you interested?
61
Cool.
62
Because I guess I'm not the only person in this room who sometimes takes things personally, right?
63
Imagine you invite a friend to go to the movies,
64
and she replies, oh, sorry, I have to work.
65
But you see a picture on social media of her having dinner with some friends that very night.
66
Or imagine you really have worked very hard on a project.
67
You're really proud of the end result,
68
but the only thing you get is criticism.
69
So you come home, and you would like to wind down and share this terrible experience,
70
but while you're telling your story,
71
the other one walks away to switch on the TV.
72
Now, who would take one of these situations personally?
73
Show me hands, come on.
74
Lots of you.
75
Why?
76
Why do we take things personally?
77
Somebody says or does something and BAM!
78
We feel hurt, neglected, offended,
79
betrayed by the other one.
80
That's what we believe though.
81
It's the other person's fault.
82
He's responsible for what we feel.
83
He's the one to blame.
84
Now hang on, hang on.
85
Who says that?
86
Which part of us is speaking?
87
It's our ego.
88
Our ego thinks that others should take us into consideration.
89
Our ego doesn't want to be criticized.
90
Hell no!
91
Our ego wants to be acknowledged.
92
I'm right!
93
Is this what you want?
94
Do you want to be right?
95
That's exhausting.
96
When my ego takes over, I'm fighting all day.
97
I'm in a constant struggle with the rest of the world.
98
and it drains my energy.
99
Wouldn't it be so much easier to not take things personally?
100
Because then, no one has power over you.
101
You are free.
102
You experience much more harmony and connection between you and other people.
103
Of course, because your energy can go towards nice things instead of endlessly battling against the things that drive you crazy.
104
So the question is, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
105
I know what some of you are thinking,
106
I will make sure I will be happy by being right.
107
Well, how do you do it?
108
How to become happy by not taking things personally.
109
You are standing at the kickoff of the match of your life,
110
the match by which you will learn how to stop taking things personally.
111
So as a referee, I brought my coin for the toss.
112
And every coin has two sides,
113
heads or tails, and they stand for two strategies.
114
Two strategies to no longer taking things personally.
115
sir sir good evening you are the captain of this huge team you can choose heads
116
or tails okay you're lucky it's hats are you ready for
117
the first strategy okay here comes first strategy it's not about
118
me what do you mean it's not about me this sounds weird doesn't it
119
because when I take things personally I'm convinced it is about me
120
when I see someone is looking at his phone I feel offended I think hey I've put
121
so much effort and time in this presentation I want respect I think me myself
122
and I sounds familiar no yeah but in fact it isn't about me what
123
if I try to look at it from the other person's perspective asking myself why why is he
124
or she looking at his
125
or her smartphone maybe he has just received an important message one he has been waiting for
126
or the topic of my presentation is not really his cup of tea could be
127
or on the contrary he finds it very interesting and he wants to take notes on his smartphone.
128
Very smart to do that, by the way.
129
I simply need to shift my focus from me to we,
130
and I won't take it personally.
131
If I try to see the intention of the other one,
132
I make space for understanding instead of irritation.
133
Does this ring a bell with you?
134
When you put your son to bed,
135
but he doesn't want to,
136
he throws himself on the the floor,
137
kicking and screaming, I hate you.
138
Do you take that personally?
139
No, no, you don't because you know,
140
this is not about me.
141
It's about what he wants, what he needs.
142
He's angry because he just wants to stay up a bit longer.
143
That's all.
144
So the first strategy to not take it personally is it's not about me.
145
Look at the other person's intention.
146
When a driver is tailgating and flashing his lights,
147
he probably does it because he's in a hurry.
148
It's not about me.
149
You see?
150
It's as simple as that.
151
In theory.
152
Because in real life it turns out to be a hell of a job.
153
Do you have any idea,
154
ladies and gentlemen, how many thoughts our brain produces a day?
155
50,000.
156
And guess how many of them are positive?
157
Only 10,000.
158
So this means that 80% of what we think are negative thoughts.
159
That's a lot, isn't it?
160
When you see two colleagues talking to each other and just then they look at you and they start laughing,
161
do you think, oh, they must have noticed my new shoes and they want them too?
162
Now, what do you think?
163
Darn, they're laughing at me.
164
They're gossiping about me.
165
So it takes a lot of effort to correct yourself and say,
166
hang on, I have no clue.
167
They might be laughing about something that has nothing to do with me.
168
So seeing the positive intention of the other one requires a lot of discipline and training.
169
And that's why I became a referee.
170
To train my brain, not to take things personally.
171
I trained my brain an hour and a half a week,
172
the entire period of a match.
173
I say this for the football dummies.
174
And now before the match, I'm warming up.
175
Not only physically, but also mentally.
176
I give myself some pep talk in the dressing room.
177
Frederick, watch out.
178
Lots of things will trigger you during the game.
179
You're going to make decisions who some will not agree with.
180
And they will shout unpleasant things at you.
181
So I tell myself, Frederick, don't take it personally.
182
It's not about me.
183
They just want to be right.
184
They simply want their team to win.
185
You see, when I focus on the intention of the other person,
186
there is no need to take it personally.
187
When I apply this strategy very consciously,
188
I admit it, I feel much more at ease on the field.
189
When the coach, the players or the spectators do not agree with my decisions,
190
I'm less easily thrown off balance.
191
This strategy, ladies and gentlemen, works.
192
Not always, unfortunately.
193
Because some words they shout at me,
194
like here, do really hit a raw nerve.
195
You're a loser.
196
Choose another hobby.
197
You know what?
198
Go fishing!
199
Ouch.
200
Maybe they are right.
201
Perhaps I took the wrong decision.
202
Maybe I am a loser, honestly.
203
That's how I feel sometimes.
204
Do you see this?
205
Every coin has a flip side.
206
When this first strategy, it's not about me,
207
doesn't work, it simply means it is about me.
208
I have to look in the mirror and question myself.
209
As a beginning referee, I still feel insecure.
210
Especially me, I never played soccer.
211
It is about me because it has something to do with my insecurity.
212
I doubt about myself, or a part of myself that I haven't come to terms with.
213
Do you see my point, ladies and gentlemen?
214
Even if I know that a driver is only tailgating because he's in a hurry,
215
I still take it personally when he hangs or he's flashing his headlights.
216
So I must question myself,
217
probably I was driving too slowly.
218
I'm aware of it.
219
I just don't like that clumsy part of myself.
220
Why else would I take it personally?
221
Right?
222
When I say, ladies and gentlemen, you are an orange.
223
Who would take this personally?
224
No one, right?
225
Why not?
226
Because nothing in you believes that you are in fact an orange.
227
An orange?
228
Unless of course that you are ginger and you feel bad
229
because of that which is luckily not the case with me
230
but but when someone says Frederick you are
231
so selfish ouch I do take it personally and it only happens
232
because I know there is some tooth in it come honest I'm aware of the fact
233
that I do not always take into account other people's needs when you are being criticized and it hurts,
234
chances are all big that this is rooted in your childhood.
235
Maybe as a child you were never good enough.
236
When you came home with a nine out of ten they said,
237
hey and why another ten?
238
You see, you can only take things personally
239
if it somehow touches a roll nerve and that's the moment to give yourself some empathy.
240
Ooh, this hurts darn.
241
I'm longing so hard for recognition and I feel sad if I don't get it.
242
You see?
243
And you can also, why not, speak up.
244
Just tell the other one what's going on inside you hey I I'm in the middle of my story here
245
and you you just walk away to switch on the TV it feels as
246
if you you don't care about my story it's not nice
247
by opening up by being vulnerable by telling what you feel without blaming the other one you increase the chance
248
that the other one will understand you
249
and take your needs into account you see what I mean
250
to conclude how not to take things personally one it is not about me look at the other person's intention
251
if that doesn't work to it is about me give yourself empathy
252
and speak up ladies and gentlemen please pretty please do not take it personally
253
but I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally within the next hours and days.
254
Only if you do, you can test out these two strategies.
255
Imagine, just imagine, if we could all put this in practice,
256
wouldn't that enhance our relationships enormously?
257
Together we could create a better world.
258
Wouldn't that be great?
259
And as a referee, I even earn some money by it.
260
Who would also like 20 euros to learn how not to take things personally?
261
Show me hands.
262
Show me hands.
263
Oh, so many.
264
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
265
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
266
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
267
And who still wants them now?
268
Why do you still want these 20 euros?
269
Because it's still 20 euros.
270
People may attack you, criticize you, or ignore you.
271
They can crumple you up with their words,
272
spit you out, or even walk all over you.
273
But remember, whatever they do or say,
274
you will always keep your value.
275
Thank you.
276
Thank you.
277
Thank you.
앱 다운로드
당신이 말하는 모든 문장을 AI가 채점
TRENDING
인기 동영상
App Store 및 Google Play에서 4.9/5
Shadowing English
모바일에서
Shadowing English 앱으로 언제 어디서나 영어를 배우세요. 오늘 의사 소통 능력을 향상 시키십시오!
학습 진행 상황 추적
AI 채점 및 오류 수정
풍부한 비디오 라이브러리
상황 및 배경
프레드릭 임보는 최근 TEDxMechelen에서 축구 심판으로서의 경험을 통해 개인적인 감정을 어떻게 잘 다룰 수 있는지를 이야기했습니다. 그는 심판이라는 역할이 비난의 대상이 되기 쉽다는 점을 강조하며, 사람들의 부정적인 반응을 개인적으로 받아들이는 문제를 겪고 있다고 밝혔습니다. 일상생활 속에서의 작은 사건들, 예를 들어 운전 중 누군가 뒤에서 경적을 울리는 상황처럼 우리의 기분에 영향을 주는 순간들을 공유했습니다. 이를 통해 그는 자신의 감정을 관리하는 방법을 배우고자 하는 의도를 명확히 했습니다.
일상 대화를 위한 5가지 주요 구문
- How are you? (잘 지내고 있나요?)
- Is that okay for everyone? (모두에게 괜찮나요?)
- Come on, come on! (자, 자!)
- Do you see what I mean? (내 말 이해하셨나요?)
- I take it personally. (내가 개인적으로 받아들이게 돼요.)
위의 구문들은 대화 중 자주 사용되는 표현들로, 유튜브 영어 공부를 통해 자연스럽게 익힐 수 있습니다. 이러한 표현들을 다양한 상황에서 연습하며 자신감을 키울 수 있습니다.
단계별 섀도윙 가이드
이 영상을 통해 섀도윙을 연습하는 방법은 다음과 같습니다:
- 영상 선택: 'How not to take things personally?'라는 영상을 선택하여 시청하세요.
- 첫 번째 시청: 내용을 이해하기 위해 처음에는 자막을 보며 전체적인 흐름을 파악하세요.
- 두 번째 시청: 섀도윙 사이트를 활용해 프레드릭의 발음을 따라해 보세요. 그가 발음하는 각 단어와 구문을 반복하며 연습합니다.
- 주요 구문 음성화: 상기한 일상 대화 구문들을 강조하여 연습하세요. 다양한 억양과 발음으로 말해보는 것이 중요합니다.
- 녹음 후 분석: 자신의 목소리를 녹음하여 원본과 비교해 보세요. 발음과 억양을 조정하는 데 도움이 됩니다.
이 과정을 통해 일상적인 대화에 대한 자신감을 높이고, IELTS 스피킹 준비에도 도움이 될 수 있습니다. 프레드릭 임보의 경험을 통해 감정을 관리하는 방법을 배우며, 감정적인 상황에서도 효과적으로 의사소통할 수 있는 능력을 기르세요.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.
☕ 커피 한 잔 사주기
ShadowingEnglish는 여러분의 지원 덕분에 100% 무료로 운영됩니다. 서버 및 AI 유지 비용이 많이 듭니다. 여러분의 커피 한 잔이 큰 힘이 됩니다! ��