Luyện nói tiếng Anh bằng Shadowing qua video: How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen
C1
Reviewer.com Good evening.
⏸ Tạm dừng
Tốc độ:
Tất cả các câu277 câu
Nếu các câu quá ngắn hoặc quá dài, hãy bấm Edit để chỉnh sửa.
1
Reviewer.com Good evening.
2
Good evening.
3
How are you?
4
Are you good?
5
Great.
6
Welcome, welcome, welcome to this match.
7
This match will take exactly 18 minutes.
8
And you're all part of the same team.
9
Mechelen.
10
Okay?
11
Hey guys, I would like to see fair play on the field, respect and positivity.
12
Is that okay for everyone?
13
Cool.
14
Good luck.
15
One year ago, I decided I wanted to become a football referee.
16
Not because of the money, though.
17
I only get paid 20 euros per match,
18
so I won't really get rich by it, will I?
19
No, I decided to become a referee for two other reasons.
20
One, to stay in good shape.
21
Two, because I wanted to learn how not to take things personally.
22
I can see some people nodding.
23
You are probably thinking being a referee is the perfect environment to learn how not to take things personally, isn't it?
24
Because the spectators hardly ever shout encouraging or positive things.
25
No. What do they shout?
26
Come on, come on.
27
Losers!
28
Are you blind?
29
Yeah, yeah, good.
30
As a referee, I'm the scapegoat.
31
Apparently, I'm always wrong.
32
It's always my fault.
33
And I wanted to learn how not to take all this personally.
34
because I really struggle with this.
35
For example, when I drive slowly because I'm trying to find a specific location and somebody is just driving behind me,
36
I feel hunted, especially when they start honking and flashing their headlights.
37
I take it personally.
38
I know I shouldn't, but it just happens.
39
Do you see what I mean?
40
Yeah.
41
Or when somebody counts as an appointment last minute,
42
I get the feeling that I'm not important enough.
43
Again, I take it personally.
44
Even professionally.
45
I'm a public speaker, like tonight,
46
this is what I do.
47
I give keynote speeches, and I really like it,
48
as long as I can draw my audience into my story.
49
Because the very moment I see somebody is not paying attention,
50
for example, when somebody is looking at his smartphone, it just happens.
51
I take it personally.
52
Relax, you are safe tonight, don't worry.
53
Feel free to take your smartphones and you can even start talking to your neighbor.
54
I will not take it personally.
55
Why not?
56
Because now, here and now,
57
I'm very conscious that this can happen.
58
And more importantly, I have a strategy to deal with it.
59
So tonight, I would like to share this strategy with you.
60
Are you interested?
61
Cool.
62
Because I guess I'm not the only person in this room who sometimes takes things personally, right?
63
Imagine you invite a friend to go to the movies,
64
and she replies, oh, sorry, I have to work.
65
But you see a picture on social media of her having dinner with some friends that very night.
66
Or imagine you really have worked very hard on a project.
67
You're really proud of the end result,
68
but the only thing you get is criticism.
69
So you come home, and you would like to wind down and share this terrible experience,
70
but while you're telling your story,
71
the other one walks away to switch on the TV.
72
Now, who would take one of these situations personally?
73
Show me hands, come on.
74
Lots of you.
75
Why?
76
Why do we take things personally?
77
Somebody says or does something and BAM!
78
We feel hurt, neglected, offended,
79
betrayed by the other one.
80
That's what we believe though.
81
It's the other person's fault.
82
He's responsible for what we feel.
83
He's the one to blame.
84
Now hang on, hang on.
85
Who says that?
86
Which part of us is speaking?
87
It's our ego.
88
Our ego thinks that others should take us into consideration.
89
Our ego doesn't want to be criticized.
90
Hell no!
91
Our ego wants to be acknowledged.
92
I'm right!
93
Is this what you want?
94
Do you want to be right?
95
That's exhausting.
96
When my ego takes over, I'm fighting all day.
97
I'm in a constant struggle with the rest of the world.
98
and it drains my energy.
99
Wouldn't it be so much easier to not take things personally?
100
Because then, no one has power over you.
101
You are free.
102
You experience much more harmony and connection between you and other people.
103
Of course, because your energy can go towards nice things instead of endlessly battling against the things that drive you crazy.
104
So the question is, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
105
I know what some of you are thinking,
106
I will make sure I will be happy by being right.
107
Well, how do you do it?
108
How to become happy by not taking things personally.
109
You are standing at the kickoff of the match of your life,
110
the match by which you will learn how to stop taking things personally.
111
So as a referee, I brought my coin for the toss.
112
And every coin has two sides,
113
heads or tails, and they stand for two strategies.
114
Two strategies to no longer taking things personally.
115
sir sir good evening you are the captain of this huge team you can choose heads
116
or tails okay you're lucky it's hats are you ready for
117
the first strategy okay here comes first strategy it's not about
118
me what do you mean it's not about me this sounds weird doesn't it
119
because when I take things personally I'm convinced it is about me
120
when I see someone is looking at his phone I feel offended I think hey I've put
121
so much effort and time in this presentation I want respect I think me myself
122
and I sounds familiar no yeah but in fact it isn't about me what
123
if I try to look at it from the other person's perspective asking myself why why is he
124
or she looking at his
125
or her smartphone maybe he has just received an important message one he has been waiting for
126
or the topic of my presentation is not really his cup of tea could be
127
or on the contrary he finds it very interesting and he wants to take notes on his smartphone.
128
Very smart to do that, by the way.
129
I simply need to shift my focus from me to we,
130
and I won't take it personally.
131
If I try to see the intention of the other one,
132
I make space for understanding instead of irritation.
133
Does this ring a bell with you?
134
When you put your son to bed,
135
but he doesn't want to,
136
he throws himself on the the floor,
137
kicking and screaming, I hate you.
138
Do you take that personally?
139
No, no, you don't because you know,
140
this is not about me.
141
It's about what he wants, what he needs.
142
He's angry because he just wants to stay up a bit longer.
143
That's all.
144
So the first strategy to not take it personally is it's not about me.
145
Look at the other person's intention.
146
When a driver is tailgating and flashing his lights,
147
he probably does it because he's in a hurry.
148
It's not about me.
149
You see?
150
It's as simple as that.
151
In theory.
152
Because in real life it turns out to be a hell of a job.
153
Do you have any idea,
154
ladies and gentlemen, how many thoughts our brain produces a day?
155
50,000.
156
And guess how many of them are positive?
157
Only 10,000.
158
So this means that 80% of what we think are negative thoughts.
159
That's a lot, isn't it?
160
When you see two colleagues talking to each other and just then they look at you and they start laughing,
161
do you think, oh, they must have noticed my new shoes and they want them too?
162
Now, what do you think?
163
Darn, they're laughing at me.
164
They're gossiping about me.
165
So it takes a lot of effort to correct yourself and say,
166
hang on, I have no clue.
167
They might be laughing about something that has nothing to do with me.
168
So seeing the positive intention of the other one requires a lot of discipline and training.
169
And that's why I became a referee.
170
To train my brain, not to take things personally.
171
I trained my brain an hour and a half a week,
172
the entire period of a match.
173
I say this for the football dummies.
174
And now before the match, I'm warming up.
175
Not only physically, but also mentally.
176
I give myself some pep talk in the dressing room.
177
Frederick, watch out.
178
Lots of things will trigger you during the game.
179
You're going to make decisions who some will not agree with.
180
And they will shout unpleasant things at you.
181
So I tell myself, Frederick, don't take it personally.
182
It's not about me.
183
They just want to be right.
184
They simply want their team to win.
185
You see, when I focus on the intention of the other person,
186
there is no need to take it personally.
187
When I apply this strategy very consciously,
188
I admit it, I feel much more at ease on the field.
189
When the coach, the players or the spectators do not agree with my decisions,
190
I'm less easily thrown off balance.
191
This strategy, ladies and gentlemen, works.
192
Not always, unfortunately.
193
Because some words they shout at me,
194
like here, do really hit a raw nerve.
195
You're a loser.
196
Choose another hobby.
197
You know what?
198
Go fishing!
199
Ouch.
200
Maybe they are right.
201
Perhaps I took the wrong decision.
202
Maybe I am a loser, honestly.
203
That's how I feel sometimes.
204
Do you see this?
205
Every coin has a flip side.
206
When this first strategy, it's not about me,
207
doesn't work, it simply means it is about me.
208
I have to look in the mirror and question myself.
209
As a beginning referee, I still feel insecure.
210
Especially me, I never played soccer.
211
It is about me because it has something to do with my insecurity.
212
I doubt about myself, or a part of myself that I haven't come to terms with.
213
Do you see my point, ladies and gentlemen?
214
Even if I know that a driver is only tailgating because he's in a hurry,
215
I still take it personally when he hangs or he's flashing his headlights.
216
So I must question myself,
217
probably I was driving too slowly.
218
I'm aware of it.
219
I just don't like that clumsy part of myself.
220
Why else would I take it personally?
221
Right?
222
When I say, ladies and gentlemen, you are an orange.
223
Who would take this personally?
224
No one, right?
225
Why not?
226
Because nothing in you believes that you are in fact an orange.
227
An orange?
228
Unless of course that you are ginger and you feel bad
229
because of that which is luckily not the case with me
230
but but when someone says Frederick you are
231
so selfish ouch I do take it personally and it only happens
232
because I know there is some tooth in it come honest I'm aware of the fact
233
that I do not always take into account other people's needs when you are being criticized and it hurts,
234
chances are all big that this is rooted in your childhood.
235
Maybe as a child you were never good enough.
236
When you came home with a nine out of ten they said,
237
hey and why another ten?
238
You see, you can only take things personally
239
if it somehow touches a roll nerve and that's the moment to give yourself some empathy.
240
Ooh, this hurts darn.
241
I'm longing so hard for recognition and I feel sad if I don't get it.
242
You see?
243
And you can also, why not, speak up.
244
Just tell the other one what's going on inside you hey I I'm in the middle of my story here
245
and you you just walk away to switch on the TV it feels as
246
if you you don't care about my story it's not nice
247
by opening up by being vulnerable by telling what you feel without blaming the other one you increase the chance
248
that the other one will understand you
249
and take your needs into account you see what I mean
250
to conclude how not to take things personally one it is not about me look at the other person's intention
251
if that doesn't work to it is about me give yourself empathy
252
and speak up ladies and gentlemen please pretty please do not take it personally
253
but I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally within the next hours and days.
254
Only if you do, you can test out these two strategies.
255
Imagine, just imagine, if we could all put this in practice,
256
wouldn't that enhance our relationships enormously?
257
Together we could create a better world.
258
Wouldn't that be great?
259
And as a referee, I even earn some money by it.
260
Who would also like 20 euros to learn how not to take things personally?
261
Show me hands.
262
Show me hands.
263
Oh, so many.
264
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
265
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
266
Who still wants the 20 euros now?
267
And who still wants them now?
268
Why do you still want these 20 euros?
269
Because it's still 20 euros.
270
People may attack you, criticize you, or ignore you.
271
They can crumple you up with their words,
272
spit you out, or even walk all over you.
273
But remember, whatever they do or say,
274
you will always keep your value.
275
Thank you.
276
Thank you.
277
Thank you.
Tải Ứng Dụng
Có tính năng chấm điểm câu của bạn bằng AI
TRENDING
Phổ biến
4.9/5 trên App Store & Google Play
Shadowing English
Trên Mobile
Học tiếng Anh mọi lúc, mọi nơi với ứng dụng Shadowing English. Nâng cao kỹ năng giao tiếp của bạn ngay hôm nay!
Theo dõi quá trình học tập
Chấm điểm và sửa lỗi bằng AI
Kho dữ liệu video phong phú
Bối cảnh & Nền tảng
Trong buổi nói chuyện này, diễn giả Frederik Imbo chia sẻ về kinh nghiệm của mình khi trở thành một trọng tài bóng đá. Ông không chỉ muốn duy trì sức khỏe mà còn muốn học cách không quá nhạy cảm với những phản ứng từ khán giả. Thực tế, khi làm trọng tài, Imbo thường xuyên phải đối diện với những lời chỉ trích từ người xem như "Người mù à?" hay "Thua rồi!" Những tình huống khó khăn như vậy đã giúp ông nhận ra rằng việc không nên lấy những điều tiêu cực của người khác về mình là một bài học quý giá trong cuộc sống.
5 Cụm từ hàng ngày
- Come on, come on! - Nhanh lên, nhanh lên!
- Are you blind? - Bạn có mù không?
- Losers! - Kẻ thua cuộc!
- Don't take it personally. - Đừng lấy nó làm cá nhân.
- I'm trying to find a location. - Tôi đang cố gắng tìm một địa điểm.
Các cụm từ này thường gặp trong giao tiếp hàng ngày và rất hữu ích trong việc nâng cao khả năng phản ứng nhanh và giao tiếp tốt bằng tiếng Anh.
Hướng dẫn Shadowing từng bước
Để cải thiện khả năng nói tiếng Anh thông qua phương pháp shadowing, bạn có thể làm theo các bước sau:
- Chọn đoạn video: Bắt đầu bằng việc xem video của Frederik Imbo một lần để nắm bắt nội dung chính.
- Nghe và lặp lại: Phát video lại và cố gắng nghe từng câu mà ông nói. Nỗ lực lặp lại theo cách phát âm và ngữ điệu của ông.
- Ghi âm bản thân: Sử dụng điện thoại hoặc máy tính để ghi âm lại phần bạn đang lặp lại. So sánh bản ghi âm của bạn với bản gốc để nhận diện sự khác biệt.
- Thực hành hàng ngày: Dành thời gian hàng ngày để luyện tập, chủ yếu tập trung vào những câu và cụm từ mà bạn cảm thấy khó khăn.
- Nhận phản hồi: Nếu có thể, hãy nhờ người khác nghe và cho bạn phản hồi về cách phát âm và ngữ điệu của bạn.
Việc áp dụng phương pháp shadow speaks hay shadow speech không chỉ giúp bạn cải thiện khả năng nói mà còn nâng cao tự tin khi giao tiếp. Hãy thường xuyên truy cập vào các shadowing site hoặc tham gia vào các cộng đồng để luyện nói tiếng Anh một cách hiệu quả.
Phương Pháp Shadowing Là Gì?
Shadowing là kỹ thuật học ngôn ngữ có cơ sở khoa học, ban đầu được phát triển cho chương trình đào tạo phiên dịch viên chuyên nghiệp và được phổ biến rộng rãi bởi nhà đa ngôn ngữ học Dr. Alexander Arguelles. Nguyên lý cốt lõi đơn giản nhưng cực kỳ hiệu quả: bạn nghe tiếng Anh của người bản xứ và lặp lại to ngay lập tức — như một "cái bóng" (shadow) đuổi theo người nói với độ trễ chỉ 1–2 giây. Khác với luyện ngữ pháp hay học từ vựng bị động, Shadowing buộc não bộ và cơ miệng phải đồng thời xử lý và tái tạo ngôn ngữ thực tế. Các nghiên cứu khoa học xác nhận phương pháp này cải thiện đáng kể phát âm, ngữ điệu, nhịp điệu, nối âm, kỹ năng nghe và độ lưu loát khi nói — đặc biệt hiệu quả cho người luyện IELTS Speaking và muốn giao tiếp tiếng Anh tự nhiên như người bản ngữ.