쉐도잉 연습: how to love yourself so much that life starts to love you back - YouTube로 영어 말하기 배우기
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Hello everyone, thanks for being here.
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Hello everyone, thanks for being here.
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Today I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, self-love.
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I have so many things to say in this video,
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so let's dive right into it.
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I have a question for you.
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Do you think loving yourself is selfish?
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I've seen so many people being accused of selfishness when they start choosing themselves,
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and I want to say something about this.
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To people who want to manipulate you
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and take advantage of you to people who want you to sacrifice your happiness
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and your well-being for them they will 100% accuse you of being selfish
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when you prioritize yourself and let me tell you this there are
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so many people like this sometimes they can even be your
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family members don't ever let anyone manipulate you into believing
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that loving yourself
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and choosing yourself is bad i mean let's get this straight okay people who are unhappy
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when you choose yourself are those who benefit from you not
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choosing yourself just think about it people who get angry
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and like resentful when you live your life in a way
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that makes you feel truly happy only care about their own needs so they will
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guilt trip you and make you believe you are selfish when they are in fact the most self-centered ones
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you need to see through them you need to be the first person to prioritize yourself
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because no one's going to do that for you i mean
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if you're happy sacrificing your health and energy for others it's your life
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and i have nothing to say but i just hope
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that you love yourself enough to always choose the best for yourself and never accept anything that is below your standards
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whether it's a partner, a relationship,
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a friendship, or a thought, a belief, an identity.
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The moment you realize that something or someone is not benefiting you,
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they're not adding anything good to your life,
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but only taking from you and harming you, it's time to leave.
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It's time to end things and free yourself.
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Always ask yourself, is this benefiting me?
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Is this improving my life?
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Is this enriching my life?
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If the answer is no,
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you need to do something and only you can save yourself.
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Anything that is toxic and negative needs to be removed from your life right away.
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And when you love yourself enough,
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you will be so quick with this.
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As soon as you see people's true colors,
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they're out and never coming back.
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The same thing goes with negative thoughts and beliefs.
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They don't even stand a chance.
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That's how you know you love yourself.
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You'll start calling people out.
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I don't care who is disrespecting you.
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You should never let it pass.
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If they disrespect you, if they say things that hurt you, call them out.
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Ask them, what makes you think it's okay for you to say these things to me?
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Why do you say that to me?
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Why?
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Don't ever say the same things to me again.
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You need to stand up for yourself like that because no one is going to do that for you.
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You need to stand up for yourself,
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confront people and never let anyone think it's okay to walk all over you.
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You either eliminate them completely from your life or you limit your interactions with them or you draw some strict boundaries.
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Don't ever let anyone mess with you.
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There's this one harsh truth that you need to accept.
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And that is no one is going to truly think for you.
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everyone is thinking about themselves even people who always say they
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want the best for you the best for you in their
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mind has to be the best for them first you know
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what i'm saying many people are just imposing their own beliefs about what's good for you on you
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or convincing you to do the things that will eventually benefit them so basically everyone is thinking for themselves and Hey,
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you should too.
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Be a little selfish.
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Especially if you're a woman,
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you need to be 10 times more selfish
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because there are thousands of ways other people and the society can take advantage of your softness,
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your kindness, your femininity and your selflessness.
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If you don't prioritize yourself,
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you will never be someone's priority.
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I'm sorry.
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This is the real world.
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It's not like you sacrifice your energy,
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your health, your time, your beauty for someone and they are going to reciprocate.
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No, not gonna happen.
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I mean you can easily see this in your life.
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Look around you, look at people and especially women who sacrifice themselves for others.
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Are they happy?
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Are they loved?
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Are they cherished?
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Or are they the first ones to be taken advantage of?
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Or are they the first ones to be blamed when something goes wrong?
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Or are they the ones who feel exhausted and depressed at the end of the day?
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Always put yourself first.
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And this is not selfish.
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Only when you love yourself can you love someone else.
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If you are lucky enough to have a connection,
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whether a friendship or a romantic relationship with someone who has a firm foundation of self-love and self-accountability,
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like authentic, healthy self-love, you will feel a huge difference.
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They are caring, gentle, emotionally mature and respectful.
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They will be there for you when you need them,
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but they will also give you the space to do your own things and the freedom to make your own decisions.
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Like when you love yourself,
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first of all, you also have a rich and fulfilling life that makes you feel truly happy on your own, right?
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Then you won't be emotionally dependent on anyone else.
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And secondly, you will encourage others to love and take good care of themselves.
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You will be like a source of inspiration and positivity.
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But if you don't love yourself,
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the love you give to others will be very toxic because it's controlling,
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it's obsessive and it's desperate.
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I just don't understand how can you love someone else when there's no love here for yourself?
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It's impossible.
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This leads me to the next point.
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ever trust people who don't love themselves.
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This is especially important when you first meet someone new,
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like when you go on a first date or when you meet a new friend,
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you need to observe and ask them about the way they take care of themselves.
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Are they taking good care of their physical health?
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Are they physically active?
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Do they enjoy food that is good for their body or do they eat junk food all the time?
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Are they in touch with their emotions?
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Do they have the habit of observing
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and trying to understand their emotions instead of you know acting on them impulsively
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or blaming others for their feelings all the time and also pay attention to the way they talk about themselves
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if they talk about themselves with a mean
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and indifferent voice don't expect them to treat you well because
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if they don't even respect and value themselves how can they do the same thing for someone else.
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And well, I think that self-love does not mean forcing or manipulating others to change themselves and sacrifice themselves for you.
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That's not self-love.
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So if you see someone who has the tendency to do these things or to express self-love in these ways,
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it's a red flag and you should run away.
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I think people who love themselves in a truly selfish way,
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like, you know, belittering others needs and expecting others to sacrifice for them actually have a lot of self-hatred.
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They hate themselves and they cannot make themselves happy
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so they force others to do that for them and then play the victim when they don't get what they want.
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True self-love means you know what you need
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and you walk away the moment you realize the other person is not what you need
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so you don't force people to change,
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you don't waste your time manipulating anyone, you just walk away.
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So yeah, if you are meeting someone new,
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make sure to observe whether they love and take care of themselves in a healthy way.
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Because the way they treat themselves is also the way they treat others.
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It's always the same thing.
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To give you a small tip,
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you can tell whether a person loves or hates themselves by listening to how they talk about others.
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You know, whenever I go on social media and see a hate comment,
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I am always so curious because like...
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how judgmental, mean and cruel must this person be to themselves in order for them to be this judgmental,
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mean and cruel to another human being?
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I mean if you have a kind,
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loving, understanding inner voice, there's no way you can talk to someone else with such a cold-hearted attitude.
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Whenever I communicate with others,
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I am very careful with my word choice because I know
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that words carry power and they can lift someone up or push someone down to the darkest place.
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This is because I communicate with myself very kindly.
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I never say anything or think anything negative about myself.
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So that's why I don't say or think the same thing about others.
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That's why when I see a mean comment under my videos,
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there are not many though,
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I don't get offended or hurt
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but I just I just feel bad for the person who left
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that comment and you need to remember this next time when someone says something hateful,
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judgmental or disrespectful towards you besides standing up for yourself if needed just feel bad for that person.
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It's not your problem, it's their problem.
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They must have such a poor self-image and self-concept.
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They must hate themselves so much to have such evil thoughts about someone else let alone say them out loud.
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They are suffering a lot internally.
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When you remember this, you won't take anything personally and you won't be easily hurt by all those words anymore.
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You need to like yourself so much that it doesn't matter whether other people like you or not.
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This is probably the biggest transformation that I myself have experienced.
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I used to be a very insecure person.
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I cared way too much about what other people thought about me
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and I needed external validation like whenever I said something I wanted others to agree with me
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or have the same opinion as me.
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Whenever someone was not happy with something I said
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or did I thought about it for days
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and the only times I felt proud of myself were when someone gave me compliments and recognition.
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But then I was fortunate enough to be given many chances to develop a strong connection with myself
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and it got stronger and stronger
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and stronger to a point where I no longer care about what other people think about me.
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I mean, if they agree with me, okay.
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If they disagree with me, fine.
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If they like me, alright.
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If they don't like me, no big deal.
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I like myself.
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I like myself
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and that's all I need do you know what I want
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to recommend to you you need to create a list of all the things that you love about yourself
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now if I ask you to list five things just five things
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that you love the most about yourself can you do it
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right away it seems to be such a simple thing
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but a lot of people don't even know what they love about themselves they don't even know all the special
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and wonderful qualities that they have and it's
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so sad to see like in the English lessons I design
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and teach I include many discussions and questions
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that can help develop a better sense of self-understanding and self-love
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but whenever i ask my students the question what is your
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best quality none of them can answer at least not right away they get very bewildered
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because they've never thought about it before you know
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when you enter a relationship right one of the things you
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like to do is ask your partner what they love the most about you with the expectation
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that they will list out dozens of of things that you've ignored.
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Why do you need someone else to do that?
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Why aren't you the first person to recognize your beauty and acknowledge your abilities?
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You need to know yourself so well.
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You need to establish this firm,
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indestructible foundation of self-understanding and self-appreciation so
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that no one can tell you who you should be or control how you should feel about yourself.
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Loving yourself means you never stop working on yourself.
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And the things that you work on don't have to be the same things
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that other people and society expects you to work on.
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It can be something that you personally find fulfilling and enjoyable.
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It doesn't have to follow any trends or societal expectations.
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You just do the things that you personally enjoy that will benefit you in all aspects,
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physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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I think self-love is like a combination of self-acceptance, self-care, and self-discipline.
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Discipline in yourself is also a crucial part that can create more balance
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and stability in your life and this can benefit you tremendously in the long run.
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It's like you love yourself across all timelines so you forgive and appreciate your past self, right?
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You accept your present self and you prioritize your future self's needs
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and all of your actions will benefit you in all timelines.
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So it's not self-indulgence, it's not about seeking short-term pleasures
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but It is about knowing what you truly need and making a consistent effort to bring it to yourself.
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True self-love means you love yourself unconditionally.
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You love yourself on both good and bad days.
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You love yourself when you are winning and losing.
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You love yourself at your best and at your worst.
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You know, it's easy to love yourself when you are successful,
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happy, healthy, productive, optimistic.
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But it's the love that you give yourself in the darkest,
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lowest points that will truly make you feel safe and secure in your own presence.
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I myself went through bad days on which I was not at my best at all.
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I lay in bed all day.
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I crashed out and acted impulsively.
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I watched all the negative thoughts that were lingering in my head for days.
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And I still loved myself regardless.
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Whenever I looked at myself in the mirror and even when I looked like a mess,
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I didn't criticize myself.
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I just said, okay, Haing is going through a hard time right now.
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She needs a break.
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She needs to express her emotions.
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She needs some rest.
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But she's still my number one girl and she'll feel better soon.
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I watched myself pulling through those hard days with loving eyes and I didn't even say one negative thing about myself.
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I just tried to understand the reasons behind my emotions and my behaviors and gave myself what I truly needed.
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no judgment no criticism no disappointment just pure love and care
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and thanks to this i usually get back on my feet very quickly i know
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that a lot of things can happen in the past
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that make you feel worthy and valuable only when you achieve something
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or when you do something well
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but we are human beings we're not supposed to be brilliant and productive all the time you will make mistakes
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you will mess things up,
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you will be lazy, you will lose motivation,
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you will fumble, you will fail and it's okay.
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I think a big part of self-love is learning to be your own good parent.
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And parenting yourself does not just mean disciplining yourself,
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but it's also about allowing yourself to have the time and space to rest,
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forgiving yourself and treating yourself well, even on hard days.
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Okay, that's everything that I want to share in today's video.
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To be honest, I actually procrastinated on making this video for so long for some reason.
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But finally it's here and I feel so happy and fulfilled right now after sharing everything that's been on my mind.
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I really hope that you find what you need to hear in this video.
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Remember to love yourself and choose yourself every day.
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Because when you do that,
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everything and everyone will also love you and choose you.
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Thanks for watching.
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I'll see you again soon.
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Bye!
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자신을 사랑하는 것에 대한 이 영상은 우리가 일상에서 마주치는 다양한 상황 속에서 대화하는 데 매우 유용합니다. 자기 사랑의 중요성과 그로 인해 얻어지는 행복한 삶에 대한 메시지는 많은 사람들에게 공감을 줄 수 있습니다. 특히, 영어 쉐도잉을 통해 이 영상을 반복적으로 듣고 따라하면, 자연스럽게 자신의 의견을 표현하는 능력을 기를 수 있습니다. 자신을 우선시하는 것이 얼마나 중요한지를 이해함으로써, 더 나아가 IELTS 스피킹 시험에도 도움이 될 수 있습니다.
문맥 속 문법 및 표현
이 영상에서는 여러 핵심적인 구조가 사용되었으며, 이를 통해 영어 회화 실력을 강화할 수 있습니다. 아래와 같은 표현들을 주목하세요:
- “Do you think...?” - 자신의 생각을 다른 사람에게 물어볼 때 유용한 질문 형식입니다.
- “It's time to...” - 어떤 행동을 해야 할 때 사용하는 강력한 어구입니다.
- “You need to...” - 상대방에게 권고할 때 자주 쓰이는 표현입니다.
- “If the answer is no, you need to do something.” - 조건문을 사용하여 행동의 필요성을 강조하는 좋은 예입니다.
이러한 표현은 일상 대화 뿐만 아니라 IELTS 스피킹과 같은 시험에서도 매우 유용하게 쓰일 수 있습니다.
일반적인 발음 함정
영상에서 몇 가지 어려운 단어와 억양이 있습니다. 들어보며 주의해야 할 부분들은 다음과 같습니다:
- “selfish”는 ‘셀피시’가 아닌 ‘셀퍼쉬’와 같이 발음됩니다. 주의를 기울여야 합니다.
- “toxic”는 강조할 때 ‘톡식’이 아닌 ‘톡식’으로 발음해야 정확합니다.
- “resentful”는 ‘리젠트풀’로 부드럽게 발음하는 것이 좋습니다.
이런 발음 함정을 피하고 자신의 발음을 교정함으로써 스피킹을 더욱 향상시킬 수 있습니다. shadow speech 또는 shadowspeaks를 활용한 연습이 큰 도움이 될 것입니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.
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