쉐도잉 연습: How to Talk to Anyone (Even If You Don't Know What To Say!) - 영상으로 영어 말하기 배우기
레슨 만드는 중...
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I'm going to show you how to talk to anyone without running out of things to say.
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I'm talking when you're stuck in awkward small talk with a co-worker, when you're meeting someone new and your mind goes blank,
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or when you've known somebody for years but still feel like you barely know them.
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As long as you follow the exact framework in this video, you'll never feel trapped again in conversations.
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Understanding this framework has allowed me to form a strong connection with 95% of the people
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that I've met as a keynote speaker and as a communication coach.
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But before I teach you the framework, I need to address the biggest misconception I hear when it comes to talking to people.
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Small talk.
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Everybody hates small talk.
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Yet, you've got to understand
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that small talk is the path you have to go through in order to get to big talk.
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The problem is staying in small talk.
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The problem is when people go, Hey, how's your morning been?
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Oh, good, good, good, good.
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How's the weather?
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I guess.
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I guess we're in the same place or experienced in the same weather.
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Haha, it's pretty hot outside.
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And the reason it gets weird and the reason it feels weird is because you're staying within the small talk category.
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If you want to talk to anyone but you're afraid of getting stuck in that small talk loop, then this framework will help you.
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It uses a communication technique called conversational threading.
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Conversational threading is a technique where through conversation you actively notice specific words or topics and details that the other person mentions.
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and then you pick one of those to respond to or expand upon to keep the conversation flowing naturally.
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Or if you're the person talking,
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you give enough detail in your answers so the other person has multiple pathways or conversational threads to take the conversation next.
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Most conversations end fast because there are no threads to pull on.
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This framework creates six threads.
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It's called High Low Buffalo.
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High means you're sharing something that's going good for you.
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What's going well for you?
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What's going really good for you?
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And then low is something that's not as good.
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Something that's not going so well for you, not so good for you.
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There's you being a little vulnerable.
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And then buffalo, this is something that's interesting about you.
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What's interesting about you?
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Share one interesting thing about you.
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And that's how you play High Low Buffalo.
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So say for example, we were going to play this game.
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The way I would frame it after a little bit of small talk is I'd say, Oh, hey, by the way, my name's Vin.
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It's so nice to meet you.
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Oh, my name's Ben.
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Great to meet you too, Vin.
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Ben, I learned from this communication guy named Vin Zhang.
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He's amazing.
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If you want details to join his class, I'll give them to you via email later.
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He's got a crazy game.
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He calls High Low Buffalo.
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We've worked together for three years, we barely know each other.
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Do you mind if we play this game?
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High means you share something that's going well for you in your life.
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Low means something that's not so good for you in your life.
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And then Buffalo is something interesting about you.
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Are you open to this?
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Yeah, sure, let's give it a go.
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Then you go first.
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So then what I do now is I share the three things.
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So if I was to play this with you right now so you can experience how it happens, I can say, you know, something that's going really well for me right now is I've handed in my final edit for my book.
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It's been a really challenging thing that I've done in my life, but I'm so proud of what I've been able to do and I'm just glad that chapter's over and done with.
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So I'm feeling really positive about that.
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Low for me?
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Low for me is that I've found that I've been working still too much in the last probably two to three months.
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I'm still getting into work so early and I'm leaving really late and I find myself my life's a little bit, it's not really well balanced.
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I feel like I'm not spending enough time with the kids and my wife.
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So yeah, I'm not feeling too great about that.
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And then the third thing I'll share with you is I just got two to cats.
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I've never been a cat person my entire life
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and what's interesting is that I've discovered this part of me
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that I've really fallen in love with cats
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and I used to be a dog person 100% I used to think
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that people who own cats are evil but I find myself really liking cats now.
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So that's been an interesting thing I found about myself.
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What I've just done there is I've created three threads okay
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so what I've done there is
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when you think of this conversation now what allows you to
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get out of the territory of small talk is I've created now three opportunities.
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The first thing I spoke about was my book.
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The second thing I've talked about was work, life, balance.
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And how it's a little bit off balance, right?
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So I'm off balance.
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And then the third thing I spoke about was the kittens.
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We adopted a couple of cats
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so what i've effectively done is i've created three brand new
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threads for this conversation to be able to move into whichever
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direction we want to go by the way as a quick note for those of you who are new here
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if you want to learn more about conversational frameworks that work in professional and personal environments
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I've created a free two-hour training that shares three of my top frameworks
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that I use every single day and even in this video.
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Make sure you click the link in the description
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or scan the QR code you see on screen if you want access to it.
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But here's what's brilliant, because what's brilliant is now they have a go.
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So now Ben has a turn.
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Oh, well, thank you for sharing that.
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That's awesome.
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Well, okay, my turn.
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What's going well for me is I just got a promotion, which is I'm so excited about.
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I've been waiting for this promotion for so long and finally I got the promotion, so I'm really proud of that.
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The second thing, something I don't feel
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so good about is I've been putting off a really hard
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conversation with one of the team members who's not really pulling their weight
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and I just keep putting it off
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and I'm having to do their work all the time and I'm not setting clear boundaries, so that's been really hard.
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And then something interesting about me is that I do archery.
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I do archery and that's what I do in my free time.
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I've loved archery for the last 10-15 years of my life.
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Okay, you see what's happened to you?
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Now there are not just three threads, now there are six threads in this conversation.
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Because if you think about what Ben just mentioned, first thing was that he got a promotion.
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Second thing that Ben mentioned was that he had a tough conversation.
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How he's avoiding the tough conversation.
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And then the final thing is archery.
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What we've effectively done now is we've got six different threads, six different directions that we can go in with this conversation.
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And I call it conversational threads because now there are so many different threads that we can choose to pull on.
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And these are threads that both parties actually care about.
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Otherwise, when you don't have this, what are you doing?
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You're shooting in the dark.
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We are now creating known knowns, things that people actually like talking about and are open to talking about.
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And we've done a really special thing here too, because we also got them to share something that's a little vulnerable.
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And that's such a critical factor into having deep conversations.
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Because once Ben and I both play this game, there are now six threads in front of us.
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And Ben can choose.
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Does he want to pull on one of my threads?
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Does he want to pull on the book?
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Does he want to pull on work-life balance?
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Does he want to pull on the kittens?
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Right?
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And I've got three choices with Ben.
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Do I want to pull in on the promotion or the tough conversation that he should be having?
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Or maybe even archery, because I do archery too you too and then you found something in common.
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This also increases the chances of you finding something that you have in common with the other person.
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Do you see how powerful this framework is?
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Is that it opens up so many threads and now it allows you to have a deeper conversation.
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So Ben might actually ask me, oh hey Vin, Ben tell me more about the work-life balancing because I'm finding myself working too much too.
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The result of me avoiding the tough conversation is that I'm also working more now too so I totally feel you.
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So what are you going to do about that Vin?
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Now I I get to talk more deeply on why work-life balance is important to me, what's my approach, how am I going to start to change things
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and it might lead to a really deep conversation to where to where Ben might have some insights
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that helps me get through that.
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Then I can ask Ben, Ben tell me more about the promotion.
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I heard people talking about him, tell me more about the promotion, how do you feel?
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How do you feel in the new role?
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This is what deepens connection and builds rapport.
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But that's how I approach conversations where I know I'm going
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to be sitting with a stranger for for the next 30 plus minutes.
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I will create this.
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And when you're playing this with three or four people, oh my goodness, the conversations go crazy because you've got now 15 threads.
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I've discovered that most people end up hating their jobs, not so much because of the job itself.
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They don't hate the job.
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They hate that they feel so disconnected in their job.
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They hate that they feel so isolated.
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They hate that they feel so alone.
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Whereas when you work with great people and you've got great connection, you love what you do.
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Sometimes even if what you do sucks a little bit, you still do it because you love the people.
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And the single biggest thing that people regret
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when they die is I wish I spent more time connecting with the people that I love.
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It's the single biggest regret.
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I wish I connected more.
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It's not like I worked harder or wish I had another car or wish I had this house.
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No, no, I wish I had deeper connections with the people that I love.
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So try this game with the people you love.
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Try this at dinner with the kids.
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Try it with your partner.
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Give it a go.
왜 이 영상을 통해 말하기 연습을 해야 할까요?
이 영상에서 제시하는 대화 기법을 배우면, 다양한 상황에서 다른 사람과 대화할 때 막힘이 없도록 도와줄 수 있습니다. shadowspeaks의 기술을 사용하여 대화의 흐름을 유지할 수 있으며, 긴장감 없이 누군가와 소통할 수 있습니다. 새로운 사람을 만나거나 동료와 어색한 대화를 나눌 때, 대화가 자연스럽게 이어질 수 있도록 도와줍니다. 특히 유튜브 영어 공부를 통해 이 기법을 시청하면, 실제 상황에서 어떻게 활용될 수 있는지를 이해하고 훨씬 더 자신감 있게 대화를 나눌 수 있습니다.
문맥에서의 문법 & 표현
- “What's going well for you?” – 이 표현은 상대방의 긍정적인 경험을 공유하도록 유도하는 질문입니다. 상대방에게 관심을 보이고 대화를 이어가는 좋은 시작점이 됩니다.
- “Something that's not going so well for you” – 이 부분은 사람 간의 친밀감을 높이는 Vulnerability의 요소를 추가합니다. 자신의 어려움을 털어놓음으로써 서로의 신뢰를 쌓을 수 있습니다.
- “Share one interesting thing about you” – 개별성을 강조하는 이 표현은 상대방에게 흥미로운 내용을 이야기하도록 하여 더욱 깊이 있는 대화를 나누게 합니다.
- “Do you mind if we play this game?” – 상대방의 동의를 구하는 방식은 대화에서 예의를 지키며 거리감을 줄여주는 역할을 합니다.
일반적인 발음 함정
영상에서 다루는 특정 단어들은 발음하기에 어려울 수 있습니다. 예를 들어, “conversation”과 “interesting” 같은 단어는 발음에서 자주 실수할 수 있는 부분입니다. shadow speak를 연습할 때, 이 단어들의 발음을 정확하게 익히는 것이 중요합니다. 특히 둘의 발음이 비슷할 때 쉽게 헷갈릴 수 있으므로, 반복적으로 연습하는 것이 좋습니다. 또한, “High Low Buffalo”라는 조합은 발음할 때 리듬감을 잡기가 어려운 경우가 많으므로 시청 후 이를 따라 말해보는 연습이 필요합니다. 이를 통해 IELTS 스피킹 같은 시험에서도 훨씬 더 자연스럽고 유창하게 영어를 구사할 수 있을 것입니다.
쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법
쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.