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I struggled against the ropes, feeling the chair roll slightly beneath me.

A cold breeze hit my face, and even my toes felt cold.

Wait, were my shoes off?

Hello?

Is anyone there?

If this is a prank show, you guys took it way too far!

Suddenly, the blindfold was yanked from my face, and I realized I was on a rooftop with no boundary walls!

And standing before me was a tall woman, smiling like she was about to enjoy torturing me.

Josie Hart.

So you're Alexander Kingston's new girlfriend.

Though I cannot understand why he dates so beneath his league.

Uh, yeah, I get why you're confused.

I really do.

But that's no reason to kidnap me.

We can discuss this on the ground floor of a really nice cafe.

My treat.

AAAAAAAAAAAA!

My heart jumped into my throat as she kicked my chair closer to the edge!

How much do you love Alexander?

Oh my god, are you one of his exes?

I swear, I don't love him, and I know he doesn't even like me!

We're just pretend dating!

Pretend dating?

Yes!

Completely fake!

Why would he date me for real?

I'm no one important!

I can't even pass the bar exam!

I failed three times!

Yes, I did a background check.

I know you're a loser.

Also, you're just as heavy as you look in your pictures.

I thought the camera was adding ten pounds.

Look, you obviously don't relate, but some of us eat carbs when we're stressed.

Like, I could really use a family-sized bag of chips right now- AHHHHHH!

Please stop!

Why are you ruining your lovely Gota Buzz kicking me around?!

My.. what?

You know, your Godobas?

My sister has the same designer heels.

I'd hate for you to scuff them.

Okay, I'm shutting up.

Just tell me what you want.

Josie, since you're suddenly Alexander Kingston's new sweetheart, fake or real, I don't care.

You're going to help us retrieve something from him.

Something?

Like his soul?

His dignity?

He lost that to Momin' he met me.

Lolz.

No. He recently bought an artifact at an auction that once belonged to our family.

And it holds something very important to us.

What?

Sentimental value?

Sorry.

Humor is my coping mechanism.

She smiled coldly, then gave my chair another nudge.

My feet dangled over the rooftop's edge.

Oh my god, I'll get the artifact!

I'll rob him blind!

I'll even lose ten pounds to let me die!

I haven't arranged anyone to clear my browser history and please don't let my family find my body in these stockings!

Wondering how I ended up like this, literally hanging on to dear life?

Let me rewind and show you exactly how I became the Mafia's most unimpressive hostage.

Not that my life's been smooth sailing before this, but things seriously started spiraling last month.

The morning I had my third attempt at the bar exam.

And it's not like I'm dumb or something.

It's just that whenever I'm under pressure, my brain decides to take a hike.

That morning, I jolted awake to total silence,

instantly realizing my alarm didn't go off because Lord Voldemow had drowned my phone in his water bowl.

Why do you hate me?

I picked you up from the garbage and made you a prince.

I grabbed my bag and bolted out the door.

Of course, I missed the bus, stole my seven-year-old neighbor's tricycle, pedaled furiously to the exam venue, and still didn't make it on time.

The security guard just wouldn't let me in.

Please, I'm begging you.

I'll name my firstborn after you.

Actually, I can change Lord Voldemiao's name today.

He just stared at me like I was crazy and walked off.

As I sank to my knees in despair, I noticed a guy approaching me with a smile.

Oh god, he's cute.

This fell out of your bag.

Can you please just walk away and pretend you never met me?

As if I hadn't had enough humiliation for a year, the next evening, I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family.

My very accomplished, very overachieving family.

Okay, everyone.

Let's take turns saying what we're thankful for.

Please just let the turkey explode or something.

I'm thankful your father and I just completed our groundbreaking anti-aging research on mice.

In a few years, we'll look young enough for people to mistake Josie for our mom.

My older sister Emily smiled smugly.

I'm thankful I got to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming an astronaut and going to space this year.

They say the sky's the limit, but clearly it's not.

Cousin Ava chirped in next.

I'm thankful I married the love of my life in a magical castle wedding in Scotland.

Fairy tale dreams do come true.

Next, my brother Lucas announced...

I'm thankful that Forbes listed me in their 30 under 30 again.

Oh, for crying out loud.

100

Then everyone turned to me.

101

I'm thankful that this is the year I decided to grow my own herbs.

102

The parsley and basil keep dying on me, but the mint is thriving!

103

I have it with my instant noodles, my eggs, of course it's great with chocolate, makes good tea, and...

104

I have minty fresh bread all the time!

105

Josie, honey, your time will come too.

106

Thanks, Dad.

107

You make me sound like an avocado waiting to ripen.

108

Speaking of unripened avocados, we heard you tanked the bar exam again.

109

How did that remind you of that?

110

Anything interesting going on in your love life to distract you from your career failures?

111

As everyone stared at me, I felt my cheeks and neck burning.

112

Just then, I spotted the muted TV behind Dad's head.

113

Alexander Kingston was on screen, smiling and shaking hands at some charity gala.

114

He was the billionaire heir who had just returned to town to take over his family's luxury hotel empire.

115

My best friend Mia who worked as a secretary in his office was swooning over him like 24-7.

116

And suddenly, words I didn't know my brain had decided on flew out of my mouth.

117

Oh, actually, yes.

118

I am dating someone.

119

And it's pretty serious.

120

It's him.

121

Him who?

122

Josie, imaginary boyfriends are only cute when you're five years old.

123

Him, Alexander Kingston.

124

I was both thrilled and a little offended at the disbelief on everyone's faces.

125

The guy on TV right now?

126

Yep, that's my boyfriend.

127

My very serious boyfriend of three months.

128

Mia works for him.

129

She introduced us.

130

They've been keeping it on the down low, cause he's a public figure, so keep it to yourselves for now.

131

But I'll send pictures of us in the family group chat.

132

Surely I could bribe Mia into getting me a few chummy selfies with him?

133

Uhhhh, wow.

134

Can't wait.

135

Also, I'm visiting your town next week.

136

I'd love to meet him!

137

Even better!

138

He'd love to meet you too!

139

Oh god, what had I just done?

140

Of course, the next logical step was to fall on my knees and beg Mia for help.

141

Josie, it's not like he's the cute barista down the street.

142

He has bodyguards, and he already has a restraining order against a stalker.

143

Mia, I know I messed up, but my psychotically perfect family has a way of pushing me over the edge!

144

And what happens when Emily turns up next week?

145

Well, I'll just have to dump him by then, won't I?

146

We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

147

Right now, I have to show them something.

148

Or look like an even bigger loser for lying!

149

Ugh, fine.

150

The event photographer at Alexander's Gala tomorrow called in sick.

151

I can give you her badge.

152

Please don't make me lose my job and just act normal for once.

153

Oh please.

154

Normal is my middle name.

155

Okay, it's actually Lauren, but close enough, right?

156

I promise, I'll be the picture of normalness.

157

The next evening, I was wobbling around the glamorous gala in a gown, lugging a camera I borrowed from my neighbor.

158

I just had to inch my way close to Alexander, take his pictures, and then request a few selfies.

159

I could act convincingly, like I was covering the event.

160

How hard could it be?

161

I aimed the camera at a couple having a heated discussion, and snapped a series of blinding photos.

162

Excuse me?

163

Does it look like I want the moment my marriage is falling apart to be captured on camera?

164

Oh, I am so sorry.

165

You're just so photogenic when you're frowning.

166

Carry on.

167

I quickly turned away and snapped another random picture, startling an elderly man and causing his drink to spill down his tux.

168

Oops, my apologies.

169

Great shot though.

170

Very fluid and dynamic.

171

Realizing my lens was smudged, I decided to clean it.

172

And then I accidentally set the flash off in my face.

173

I staggered backwards, then tripped on my gown and crashed into someone, pushing us both straight into a 12-foot flower arrangement.

174

Before I could catch my breath, I was lifted off the ground by men in suits.

175

And I realized the person I'd crashed into was Alexander Kingston.

176

A moment later, I found myself seated in a back room, Alexander glaring at me.

177

What's the name of your agency?

178

I swear I'm gonna fire that secretary of mine!

179

No, no, please don't.

180

I found out the photographer hired for the event was sick, and I stole her badge.

181

Why?

182

Who are you, the paparazzi?

183

I need to know who sent you.

184

I...

185

I sent myself.

186

Listen, I'm Josie Hart, and I just need a couple of selfies with you, where you need to look like you're rather fond of me.

187

Even in love, maybe?

188

So you can't be glaring at me the way you are right now.

189

What?

190

See, this is all because my mother is Benjamin Button, and my dad called me an unripe avocado, and my sister's an actual astronaut, my cousin's a Disney princess,

191

and my brother is Elon Musk, And all I've got is enough mint to start a toothpaste factory, a garbage cat, and a pretend billionaire boyfriend.

192

And that's sort of for you coming, you lucky guy.

193

Pretend boyfriend?

194

I may have accidentally told my family we were dating.

195

Just a little bit.

196

And you picked me?

197

Because you have a crush on me or something?

198

No. Your face was on the TV screen at that moment.

199

Trust me, it was exactly as random as all of this sounds.

200

You're insane.

201

Really?

202

No one's ever said that to me before.

203

He turned away and walked over to his bodyguards, saying something to them in hushed tones which made me even more nervous.

204

Eventually, he came back and sat down opposite me.

205

Fine, Josie Hart.

206

I'll be your boyfriend.

207

Uh, you'll what now?

208

So the thing is...

209

My ex-fiancé dumped me a few months ago.

210

Wow, that's rough.

211

I guess we're both losers.

212

Heh heh heh.

213

Heh.

214

No. Only I'm a loser.

215

Here's the deal.

216

I'll be your fake boyfriend.

217

And you'll help me show her I've moved on.

218

It'll be extra intriguing for her thinking it's someone like you.

219

What was that supposed to mean?

220

Nothing good, I was certain.

221

Are you serious?

222

Completely.

223

Think you can walk back into the party without tripping over your face?

224

We're really doing this right now?

225

That's why you came, isn't it?

226

Are you in or out?

227

My heart was hammering as Alexander led me back to the gala.

228

The room felt quiet.

229

Hundreds of curious eyes on us.

230

Sorry about the interruption earlier, everyone.

231

Allow me to officially introduce my girlfriend, Josie Hart.

232

A talented event photographer.

233

We've been keeping our relationship very private up till now, so my security team tonight mistook her for an assailant.

234

As you can see, she has a habit of crashing into things.

235

And that's how we met a few months ago, when she crashed into me and spilled her coffee all over my favorite suit.

236

The crowd laughed and started talking excitedly.

237

And suddenly, there were cameras flashing everywhere.

238

I plastered on a smile, hoping I didn't look as nauseous as I felt.

239

You're smiling like the freaking Joker.

240

Just act normal.

241

I wish I understood what that means.

242

Oh, one more thing, Josie.

243

Please don't go and fall in love with me, okay?

244

Like I'm that cliched.

245

He smirked and placed a hand on my back, making my heart skip a beat.

246

Get a grip, girl!

247

The moment Alexander publicly declared me his girlfriend, my life turned into a media frenzy.

248

Within hours, every news outlet was obsessed with my awkward,

249

deer-in-the-headlights expression, and my phone nearly exploded from nonstop messages from my family,

250

congratulating me like I'd won the Nobel Peace Prize.

251

And Mia showed up the next evening at my apartment looking frazzled.

252

Seriously?

253

Your fake billionaire boyfriend got you bodyguards already?

254

I had to answer ten personal questions about you before those trolls let me into the building.

255

I answered six of them wrong by the way.

256

Those guys are idiots.

257

Sorry Mia, I've had paparazzi following me everywhere.

258

Things have gone completely nuts.

259

I swear, it's not my fault.

260

You literally crashed his gala and then crashed into him.

261

This is entirely your fault.

262

The next morning, an entire glam squad invaded my tiny apartment.

263

Apparently, Alexander's PR team insisted I needed a makeover, which was very painful.

264

Hours later, strapped into couture tighter than a vacuum-sealed frozen turkey, I waddled toward Alexander when he came to pick me up for the next event.

265

Wow, you look different.

266

Good?

267

Different?

268

It better be after all the hell I've been through.

269

Yeah, you look good, but there was nothing wrong with you before.

270

Did he really mean that?

271

Pfft, doubt it.

272

I took a deep breath, or at least I tried, wondering how I'd managed to trade my simple life for suffocating clothes,

273

glamorous parties, and national scrutiny.

274

Though, it didn't feel half bad being on the arm of someone like Alexander.

275

He was smart, charming, confident, and he could give Henry Cavill a run for his money.

276

His smile was as bright as Emily's future, and his eyes deeper than my regrets after eating a whole cheesecake.

277

If Mary Poppins pulled out her measuring tape for him, he would measure practically perfect in every way.

278

This guy didn't have a weakness.

279

Boy, was I wrong.

280

Ow, Alexander!

281

You're crushing my ring finger!

282

You know, I might need it one day, despite my family's doubts.

283

I'm so sorry, it's just that.. well.. gosh, Serena's here.

284

I followed his gaze to a girl, who was a dreamy vision in Lilac Chiffon.

285

Of course his ex looked like America's next top model.

286

And he looked like a pale, sweaty loser right now.

287

Oh god, she saw me, she's coming this way.

288

Jane, what do I say?

289

What do I do?

290

What's happening to my voice?

291

It's Josie.

292

And please, wipe that sweat off your upper lip, clear your throat, and be cool.

293

Is calling a girl shorty still cool?

294

Like, Hey shorty!

295

Or more like, Hey shorty.

296

Please don't say that to anyone.

297

Ever.

298

Up close, Serena was even more poreless.

299

She just ignored me as she swooped in to kiss Alexander on the cheek.

300

And then fixed his collar.

301

Alexander, you look good.

302

The shade of blue always did bring out your eyes.

303

Uh, thank you.

304

You look great in lilac too.

305

Well, I don't know if there's a color you wouldn't look good in.

306

Lime yellow.

307

She would look like she has jaundice.

308

You're welcome, babe.

309

Hi, Sabrina!

310

I'm Josie, Alexander's girlfriend.

311

It's Serena. And really?

312

I just thought it was a paparazzi scandal.

313

I mean, wow, that's surprising.

314

So, how did you two meet?

315

Well, like all good stories, ours starts from a mental asylum, too.

316

Haha, she doesn't mean that.

317

She's not really crazy.

318

I didn't mean I'm from a mental asylum.

319

I'd just gone to the mental asylum to see my Aunt Hilda, like I do weekly.

320

And the staff told me she'd somehow managed to run away.

321

And I had to go to the police station to file a report.

322

But on the way, I stopped for a caramel latte.

323

And then, it hit me.

324

Uh, you figured out where your aunt went?

325

No, a ball hit me.

326

Some kids were playing in the coffee shop and it hit me on the back of my head.

327

I lost my balance and fell straight into someone's arms.

328

Guess who that was?

329

I'll give you a hint.

330

It's not Aunt Hilda.

331

I'm guessing it was Alexander.

332

Ten points for Selene.

333

Yes, that's how we met.

334

And we've been inseparable ever since.

335

Right.

336

Well, you're very unique, Josie.

337

Not Alexander's usual type.

338

Maybe he was looking in all the wrong places before.

339

Because we're definitely soulmates.

340

We love all the same things.

341

We practically finish each other's...

342

Uh, sentences?

343

No, silly.

344

Sandwiches!

345

You know, those sandwiches you love, but you can never finish them, so I have to eat yours too?

346

Oh yeah!

347

I'm so lucky I never have to feel guilty about wasting food again.

348

Well, Alexander, I hope we can catch up some more soon.

349

She squeezed his arm gently and gave him a look before walking away.

350

Well, someone's regretting dumping you now.

351

You're welcome.

352

Oh, thank god.

353

I wasn't just imagining it.

354

She was flirting with me, right?

355

Josie, this is fantastic!

356

I think I have a chance with her!

357

You want her back?

358

I thought you just wanted to rub your relationship in her face.

359

Like a mature adult?

360

Yes, and if she's jealous, it means she still cares about me!

361

And you just saw her, right?

362

Why wouldn't I want her back?

363

Ugh, why were men so dumb?

364

And, as luck would have it, Serena was seated at our table.

365

Well, practically seated in the lap of a very good-looking, very Italian guy at our table.

366

No, babe, it's pronounced Cupcake.

367

Ah, Coo-p-cake.

368

Has anyone ever told you that you're just too cute?

369

Alexander pulled me close to him and brushed some hair away from my ear.

370

Please smile like I'm whispering sweet nothings to you.

371

Now listen, there's no way she's dating that guy for real.

372

She's just trying to make me jealous after seeing us together.

373

It's working, so keep acting like the world's most affectionate girlfriend, okay?

374

Seriously?

375

Weddings are just so romantic.

376

Babe, do you remember that magical sunset in Capri when we kissed for the first time?

377

Boo-boo!

378

Do you remember that time we watched that sunset on YouTube because we were too busy cuddling on the couch?

379

And what was it?

380

Our tenth kiss?

381

Serena definitely looked annoyed.

382

And then she started feeding Lorenzo chocolate-covered strawberries.

383

I shoved a breadstick in Alexander's mouth.

384

Who started choking?

385

You make every day feel like Valentine's Day.

386

I feel so loved.

387

You make every day feel like, uh, Thanksgiving.

388

I feel stuffed and sleepy.

389

Lorenzo gave me this bracelet of rare blue diamonds.

390

When they catch the moonlight, they reflect constellations that can only be seen from his family's private villa in Tuscany.

391

Wow, fancy!

392

Alexander gave me this watch from Target.

393

If you press this button, it lights up neon green.

394

And if I angle it just right, it blinds pigeons.

395

That's your own watch, Josie.

396

They don't know that!

397

Suddenly, Serena rose from the table and glided over to the wedding band, grabbing the mic.

398

There's so much love in the air tonight, and I can't help getting caught up in it.

399

I want to dedicate a song to the guy in my life, my handsome Italian boyfriend, Lorenzo.

400

I rolled my eyes, but her annoyingly pitch-perfect rendition of I Will Always Love You had the whole crowd in tears.

401

As the applause died, Serena gave me a look that made my blood run cold.

402

Oh no. And now I'd like to ask my friend Josie to sing something for the man in her life.

403

Oh no, no. I can't.

404

Josie, you have to, please.

405

I walked over to the mic with jelly legs.

406

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts.

407

She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers.

408

Dreamin' bout the day when you wake up to find What you lookin' for has been here the whole time Uh,

409

yeah, you belong to me My face burned as I saw guests visibly cringing When I stopped,

410

there was complete silence And I dropped the mic and ran off As I caught my breath outside the wedding hall, Alexander came out too Hey,

411

it wasn't that bad Honestly, it was cute...ish.

412

Oh shut up, Alexander.

413

I sounded like a dying seagull.

414

You made me make an absolute fool of myself.

415

Do you think Serena's impressed with your idiot girlfriend?

416

I'm sorry, I really thought...

417

Thought what?

418

If you made Serena think you'd moved on with some loser, you'd have her attention again?

419

How pathetic are you?

420

Chasing after someone who broke your heart and is still playing games with you?

421

Or are you so blind that you can't even see it?

422

Listen.

423

Which one is it?

424

Pathetic or blind?

425

Josie.

426

No!

427

You can go embarrass yourself chasing Serena.

428

I won't stick around to be humiliated anymore.

429

Before he could respond, I stormed off.

430

As my heels clicked furiously on the pavement, I barely had time to notice the black van screeching to a halt beside me.

431

The door suddenly opened, and a pair of arms yanked me inside.

432

Then suddenly, everything went dark.

433

And when I regained consciousness, I found myself hanging off a rooftop with my life flashing before my eyes.

434

After which, I was dragged down into a room with expensive villain-layer vibes.

435

I was seated at a table, and the woman sat opposite, placing a file in front of me.

436

Open it.

437

Oh, cool!

438

Is this your scrapbook of people you've murdered and enjoy revisiting in your free time?

439

Cause, same girl, same!

440

When I came across a photo of a shiny jewel-encrusted egg straight from a fairy tale, she placed a blood-red fingernail on it.

441

This.

442

This is what I want.

443

Okay, but why would Alexander even buy this?

444

Because that is a one-of-a-kind Fabergé egg, crafted for royalty wants, worth over $30 million,

445

and currently holds a drive with information that could destroy a lot of powerful people.

446

And Alexander knows about this drive?

447

Highly unlikely.

448

He probably just bought it because it's expensive and shiny.

449

God, rich people are wild.

450

We don't know where Alexander's keeping it, so who better to find it for us than his girlfriend?

451

You have one week.

452

Okay, but like, I'm not very.. competent.

453

There's a high chance I'll trip up.

454

Literally. And figuratively.

455

Josie, what do you want from life?

456

Uh, you mean existentially?

457

Like inner peace, a sense of purpose, that kind of thing?

458

Or more practically, like a personal jacuzzi, soft serve machine, affordable skincare?

459

You get me that egg, and I'll make sure you pass that bar exam.

460

I have an exceptional skincare line too.

461

You can get free supplies for life.

462

Seriously?

463

You don't.

464

And we kill your whole super cool overachieving family.

465

And then you, slowly.

466

Okay, that escalated fast.

467

But also, wow, really motivating.

468

By the way, is there a name?

469

I can call you by?

470

Sure.

471

Black Orchid.

472

Cool.

473

You can call me Blue Spinster.

474

I don't know why I said that.

475

Josie's fine.

476

And ten minutes later, I was dumped behind a taco truck.

477

So, I had seven days to betray my fake boyfriend I may or may not be developing feelings for,

478

steal an invaluable egg, and somehow not die in the process.

479

Easy peasy.

480

Alexander turned up the next day at my apartment with a cheesecake and an apology.

481

I may be a fool for Serena, but I should never have pushed you the way I did.

482

I overreacted too.

483

I mean, this was the deal, right?

484

Being your fake girlfriend to make your ex jealous.

485

Yeah, but we can end this if it's too much for you.

486

Oh, no. I'm fine.

487

I'll have a lot of disappointment to face when my family finds out this relationship has ended.

488

But maybe we can keep it up a little longer?

489

Or.. just don't ask me to sing in public again.

490

Not even in private.

491

Just a week more, and I'd be out of his life for good.

492

Knowing how hung up he really was over Serena, I knew I had to guard my feelings and just keep my eye on the ball.

493

The egg, I mean.

494

I had free access to Alexander's mansion, and while I went there under After the pretense of taking a dip in the pool or relaxing in his home theater,

495

I took every chance I could to snoop around.

496

And after three days of exploration, I knew he owned more cashmere sweaters than anyone could ever need,

497

only had books about how to become a successful person, and like all rich people, loved horses.

498

But no egg in sight.

499

I still had to explore the study where he held his meetings.

500

So one evening when he was out of town, I snuck in.

501

I was going through the cupboards when my phone started ringing loudly.

502

Gosh, what is this volume?

503

Lord Voldemow's work, of course.

504

It was Emily calling.

505

Ew.

506

Hey, Em.

507

Hi, Josie.

508

Mom, Dad, and I just landed in town for a conference, and we'd love to meet your boyfriend.

509

We're free tomorrow evening.

510

Does that sound good?

511

Uh, I guess.

512

Just let me check with Alexander.

513

Well, I've made a reservation at a trendy new French bistro for seven tomorrow, so see you both there.

514

Then why'd you even ask?

515

But she'd already hung up.

516

I took a deep breath and refocused on my mission.

517

As I had my head stuck up the fireplace, I suddenly heard loud voices from the hallway outside.

518

One of them definitely sounded like Alexander.

519

He wasn't supposed to be back till midnight.

520

I had no time to hide!

521

Oh god, think of any excuse, dummy!

522

Just then, the door burst open, and in jumped Alexander Kingston!

523

Wearing a velvet cape, a shiny breastplate on his bare chest, and a full VR headset on his face...

524

Who dares enter the realm of Zorglord, Defender of the Sky Kingdom?!

525

He swung his fake sword around aggressively, and impaled a poor Ficus.

526

Okay, so I was right in front of his face, and he had no idea I was here?

527

I wasn't used to such incredible luck.

528

I tiptoed to the door and was almost there, when suddenly, he came charging straight at me!

529

And before I could dodge him, he crashed into me and we were both on the ground!

530

Owww!

531

I think I've cracked a rib.

532

Josie, what the heck are you doing here?

533

What are you doing here?

534

You said you were out of town!

535

And seriously, what are you doing, Zorg Lord?

536

It's a stress relief program recommended by my therapist.

537

Level 3?

538

Battle for the Sorcerer's Amulet?

539

Cool therapist.

540

Love the costume too.

541

That breastplate is so shiny and so plastic.

542

It's a fully immersive experience.

543

Ugh, okay fine.

544

I'm into cosplaying and video games.

545

It helps me blow steam.

546

And I really needed it today.

547

Serena messaged in the morning about wanting to meet.

548

I've just been so nervous that I cancelled everything and decided to relax at home.

549

Can you please forget everything you just saw?

550

There it was.

551

That pang I felt hearing Serena's name.

552

Trust me, I'm gonna go home and stick my head in the microwave or something.

553

Um, listen, I kinda have a favor to ask.

554

My family's in town and they want to have dinner with us tomorrow.

555

Of course I'll be there.

556

have a ribbon-cutting gala or a yacht launching ceremony or...

557

Comic-Con?

558

I'm available, Josie.

559

See you tomorrow, and don't tell anyone about this.

560

Your secrets are safe with me, oh mighty killer of ficuses and defender of the sky realms.

561

I was almost at the mansion gate when I realized I'd left my bag in the study.

562

I went back for it, and that's when I saw it.

563

Alexander was at the far end of the study, standing in front of a sleek panel I hadn't noticed before.

564

Suddenly, a small circle lit up and beeped as it scanned his eye.

565

Then a click.

566

A smooth, dark wooden door opened, and Alexander stepped inside.

567

And I decided to leave without my bag.

568

Seriously?

569

A retinal scan?

570

How was I supposed to get in there?

571

I had to postpone thinking about it for another day, because I had that family dinner to get through.

572

They seemed super impressed by Alexander, but I knew they'd find ways to put me down soon enough.

573

You should get appetizer number two, Josie.

574

You always loved that one, remember?

575

I knew exactly what she was doing.

576

You get it, M.

577

But it's your favorite.

578

Go on, order it.

579

Fine.

580

We'll have the char-char-cut-chur-y-chaka-chur-tiri board.

581

Some things never change.

582

Josie's tongue always did get tangled over the simplest things.

583

Honestly, I couldn't pronounce it for years either.

584

Once at a business dinner, I asked for the shark cutie platter.

585

And the waiter stared at me like I'd requested a raw dolphin.

586

As we all laughed, Alexander squeezed my hand under the table.

587

I really have to say, Alexander, you're the most normal guy she's ever dated.

588

Josie has such a unique dating history.

589

Remember that magician, Josie?

590

What was his name?

591

Danny, the disappearing boyfriend.

592

Oh, and that clown who made balloon animals?

593

Besides the fact that he had no future, I liked him.

594

Speaking of no future, Josie, are you thinking about taking the bar exam again?

595

You should, honey.

596

They say fourth time's the charm.

597

No, Dad.

598

The third time's the charm.

599

And well, that's passed.

600

You know, you should think of a career change.

601

I mean, it's not like your career's even started yet, right?

602

Alexander set his fork down on his plate a little too hard.

603

Josie's one of the smartest people I've ever met.

604

And she knows what she's doing with her life.

605

You all seem to have an unhealthy obsession with her.

606

Which I kind of get, I'm obsessed too.

607

I feel lucky she picked me out of all the billionaires in the world.

608

I almost choked on my drink.

609

Yeah, it was between you and that prince from Monaco, but he didn't have the waffle station in his kitchen.

610

See?

611

Josie knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to go for it.

612

If I wasn't already halfway in love with Alexander, that dinner might have pushed me over the edge.

613

The only thing standing in my way now was Serena, a retinal scan, a Fabergé egg, and a mafia woman who was dressed to kill.

614

Oh god, what was she doing here?

615

She gestured at me to come outside.

616

I made an excuse to go to the bathroom and joined her and her goons across the street.

617

Way to blend in, guys.

618

You look like the Grim Reaper's PR team.

619

We just came from a man's funeral.

620

Beautiful ceremony.

621

Cosket stayed closed.

622

For good reason.

623

Wonderful.

624

I'm sure he didn't suffer.

625

Not for long, anyway.

626

Uh, okay.

627

So, progress update.

628

I think I might know where that Faberge egg is.

629

I discovered a hidden room in his study, but it requires his retinal scan.

630

The Mafia woman drew out a Swiss army knife from her bag and tossed it to me.

631

That's easy.

632

Just take his eyeball out.

633

You know, I mean no disrespect, but your sense of humor is terrible.

634

She smiled and reached into her bag again, this time tossing me a sling device.

635

This is a portable retinal scanner.

636

Just hold it close to his eye without him noticing.

637

That's.. not even the weirdest thing I've done this month.

638

Good girl.

639

Oh, and Josie, you're doing so well.

640

Don't make us go to more funerals.

641

Later, after we'd said goodbye to my family, Alexander and I took a walk around the block.

642

So, tough crowd.

643

I understand why you lied about dating a billionaire now.

644

Right?

645

They really know how to push my buttons.

646

Thank you for everything you said today.

647

I didn't know you could be so charmingly passive-aggressive.

648

Didn't say anything I didn't mean.

649

Except for the charcuterie part.

650

As you can see, I can pronounce it just fine.

651

Didn't doubt that for a second.

652

As he smiled at me warmly, I felt my heart sink.

653

It was getting so much harder to steal from him.

654

I didn't sleep a wink that night, trying to think of ways I could casually scan Alexander's eyeball.

655

But the universe must have taken pity on me, because the next morning, Mia called.

656

Alexander's sick, like full-blown flu, delirious with fever kind of sick.

657

He just called to cancel everything, and then asked me to buy a thousand lottery tickets.

658

I mean, what?

659

I dropped everything, grabbed soup, and headed straight to the mansion.

660

It felt wrong to be this excited about someone's immune system collapsing, but this was my chance.

661

He opened his bedroom door, dressed in dinosaur pajamas.

662

Hey, it's Josie.

663

You're glowing, girl.

664

Glowing like a firefly's butt.

665

Okay, wow.

666

You're very sick.

667

What?

668

No, I feel great.

669

I took four of those green pills, or maybe six, I don't know.

670

I guided him to the couch and handed him the soup.

671

He immediately spilled half of it on his lap.

672

Oh no, my thighs!

673

Are they burning?

674

Was that soup hot?

675

No, it got cold on the way.

676

You're fine.

677

Why would you bring me cold soup, Josie?

678

Why?

679

I sighed, got him some paper napkins to clean up, and sat beside him.

680

You smell like lavender...

681

...and betrayal.

682

Uh, what now?

683

Oh!

684

That's just my shampoo.

685

It's called Floral Deception.

686

Ah, it's nice.

687

You know what, Josie?

688

I'm very confused about Serena.

689

She wants me back, but I don't know.

690

Sometimes I'm not sure if I really love her.

691

That made me freeze.

692

She never really made me feel good about myself, you know?

693

It's not like it's with you.

694

With you, things are easy.

695

I don't feel like I have to prove anything.

696

I can just be a regular guy.

697

Can you clean my nose?

698

Well, Serena's perfect.

699

She'd make anyone feel like they're not good enough.

700

And I'm a walking, talking disaster.

701

So I probably make people feel better about themselves.

702

Like, hey, at least my life's not as messy as Josie's.

703

Or, I've got it more together than she does.

704

He sat up suddenly, grabbing me by the shoulders.

705

Don't say that.

706

You're amazing, Josie.

707

You're funny and smart and pretty.

708

And you have these eyes that make me want to do stupid things.

709

Like kiss you right now.

710

Okay, whoa.

711

This isn't real.

712

It's just the meds talking.

713

No, really.

714

I want to kiss you.

715

Unless.. you don't wanna.

716

Which is fine.

717

My heart was pounding, and I defo wanted to kiss him.

718

But I had to stay laser focused.

719

If you're serious, then look deep into my eyes first.

720

His gaze locked onto mine, like a lovesick puppy.

721

And then, I whipped out the scanner and hovered it near his eyeball.

722

Did.. did something just beep?

723

What beep?

724

No, you're just hearing things, sweetie.

725

You should sleep.

726

He leaned in suddenly, with his lips puckered, he kissed some air, and passed out face first in my lap, snoring like a walrus.

727

Mission accomplished.

728

But did he really mean that about Serena?

729

And what he'd said about me?

730

Ugh, even if he liked me, I was stealing his egg.

731

We could never work out as a couple.

732

I put a blanket over him and then made my way towards the study.

733

Once inside, I locked the door, stepped up to the hidden panel, and whipped out the scanner with Alexander's retinal image saved on it.

734

There was a click, yes, and the door opened.

735

At the end of a small passageway was a room full of collector's items.

736

But in the center, covered with a glass box, was a glittering Fabergé egg.

737

Okay, I really didn't think an egg could be so pretty.

738

I lifted the glass cover like I was diffusing a bomb, then carefully picked up the egg and made my way back to the study.

739

Great, there was no way this thing was fitting in my handbag!

740

I spotted a trash can filled with tissues and receipts, so I put the egg in and slung the trash bag over my shoulder.

741

But I barely made it ten steps down the hallway before a housekeeper appeared out of nowhere.

742

Ma'am, why are you taking out the trash?

743

Here, let me.

744

No, you stay away!

745

I mean, this bag is full of Alexander's highly contaminated tissues.

746

It really doesn't look like the regular flu.

747

His snot has a weird color.

748

I've already been exposed, so I'll just dispose it off somewhere.

749

You stay healthy, drink orange juice, and yeah, bye!

750

I burst into my apartment, locked the door shut, and collapsed onto the floor.

751

Once I caught my breath, I took the glittering egg out.

752

And with bated breath, I opened it.

753

It was empty.

754

I turned it around and upside down, but I couldn't see anything concealed anywhere.

755

My lifespan has probably gone down seven years with the amount of stress I've dealt with this week.

756

And for what?

757

I tried to calm down and tilted the egg one more time.

758

And that's when I saw a barely visible scene near the base.

759

I pressed gently, and a tiny compartment popped open.

760

Inside was a micro-USB drive.

761

Well, hello there my sneaky little friend.

762

What are you hiding?

763

I plugged the drive into my laptop.

764

And files exploded onto the screen.

765

Folders with names of politicians, celebrities, judges, details of offshore bank accounts, and more zeros in those accounts than my eyes could even make sense of.

766

It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was very incriminating evidence of very high-level corruption.

767

And in the middle of all this, the word Kingston suddenly glared at me like a neon sign.

768

Alexander's grandfather was on the list.

769

Oh.

770

My.

771

God.

772

Alexander doesn't even know this egg's got evidence that could turn his family to toast?

773

Oh no, you get off this laptop, Lord Voldemow!

774

I can't have you accidentally uploading this to Facebook!

775

My week wasn't up yet, and I tossed and turned all night, wondering what I was supposed to do.

776

And I reached the conclusion that I had to tell Alexander the truth.

777

I just couldn't hand over information about his family like that.

778

The next morning, I went to the sketchiest cafe on the outskirts of town in disguise and messaged him my location, telling him it was urgent.

779

When he arrived, he kept looking around and was walking straight past my table when I grabbed his arm.

780

Hey, what the.. uh...

781

Josie?

782

What are you doing?

783

Sit down.

784

Act natural.

785

Says my fake girlfriend in disguise.

786

Okay, whatever this is, it better be good.

787

I still have fever, and now I'm also coughing up phlegm.

788

Alexander, I stole your egg.

789

Uh, you mean from the kitchen?

790

You can take as many as you want.

791

No!

792

That big, littery thing hidden in the vault you open with your eyeball? That egg?

793

Alexander's eyes grew wide, and then his face twisted with anger.

794

Y-you did what?

795

Shh!

796

Don't make a scene!

797

You thought it was a good idea to talk about this here?

798

Yes, a very smart idea.

799

You can't scream or throw things at me in public.

800

Josie, how?

801

What?

802

Where do I even begin?

803

Why?

804

Maybe because I was threatened by a mafia lady who said she'd kill me

805

and my whole annoying family if I didn't find the egg?

806

Look, I am so terribly sorry I stole from you, but I really didn't have a choice.

807

Believe me.

808

Okay, can you start from the beginning?

809

After I told him everything, he didn't exactly look shocked.

810

I already know about the drive.

811

You do?

812

I didn't at first.

813

I bought the egg at that auction because it was rare and, yeah, glittery.

814

But I did find the drive inside eventually.

815

And Black Orchid wants it to blackmail the world's most powerful crooks?

816

Looks like it.

817

I'm curious.

818

Why didn't you destroy the drive?

819

Because if I did that, I'd be helping to cover up my grandfather's crimes.

820

But I haven't had the courage to do the right thing either yet.

821

He isn't alive, but if this news gets out, it'll destroy our legacy and reputation forever.

822

I'm sorry.

823

Really, that's a lot to have on your shoulders.

824

The egg's in your court, but you have to make a decision soon.

825

And I'm gonna need your help to not get killed by that woman.

826

I'm still confused about one thing.

827

How did you break into my vault?

828

We don't have time for this right now.

829

Waiter, check please!

830

The next day, I arranged a meeting with Black Orchid, who told me to come to the same building where we'd first met.

831

Wow, you're really working that smokey eye.

832

And love your little gooky scarf.

833

Thanks.

834

It's strong enough to choke a grown man.

835

Why do things get so morbid with you so fast?

836

Uh, anyway, here's your egg.

837

She pulled out the Fabergé egg from the bag, then turned it over immediately and clicked open the hidden seam.

838

The compartment was empty, and her face turned dark.

839

Where's the drive?

840

Look, I was too scared to even open the egg, and I certainly didn't know about any hidden compartments.

841

I have no idea.

842

You're lying.

843

I swear, on Lord Voldemeyau's life, I don't know anything.

844

Fine.

845

Let's call in, lover boy.

846

I think he has a very full schedule today.

847

Meetings, stress naps, crying into his money piles.

848

You know, billionaire stuff.

849

Oh, don't worry.

850

I know how to make a man come running.

851

And there I was again, tied to a chair on a rooftop.

852

The Mafia woman sent a photograph of me to Alexander.

853

And sure enough, 20 minutes later, Alexander burst through the rooftop door.

854

Wow, man's really did come running.

855

And he'd be looking hot while doing it.

856

Ugh, shut up, brain.

857

He silently gave the drive to Black Orchid, then strode over and started untying me.

858

I thought you said you could stall her for a while without ending up in a life-threatening situation.

859

I tried, man.

860

Things just always escalate really fast with her.

861

Black Orchid plugged the flash drive into her laptop, and it was the first time I'd seen her smile widely. So creepy.

862

Oh yes.

863

This is the real thing.

864

Glad you approve.

865

Can we go now? Of course.

866

Josie, you can expect a Lord of Grey and a box of skincare soon.

867

Amazing.

868

You'll send the skincare every month, right?

869

I thought that was the deal.

870

You know what?

871

I like you.

872

You've actually been very useful.

873

And I could definitely use a lawyer willing to break the law now and then.

874

I'll be in touch.

875

Ta-da!

876

She was almost at the door to the stairwell, when suddenly one of her goons spoke.

877

Boss...

878

Uh...

879

You need to see this.

880

He showed her his phone, and her face twisted.

881

Breaking news.

882

Elite corruption files leaked in bombshell data dump.

883

I told that idiot journalist to wait a couple of hours.

884

Did you account for the time difference since he lives so far away?

885

Black Orchid turned to us, her eyes burning.

886

You leaked it.

887

You exposed your own family.

888

Yeah, I did.

889

I don't want to inherit a dirty legacy.

890

And you can't use the files to blackmail anyone now since they're out there anyway.

891

Your name's on it too.

892

You might need an actual lawyer.

893

And then suddenly, she screamed like a banshee and came running at me.

894

And before I could even react, she pushed me over the rooftop.

895

Alexander lunged forward to grab my hand and went over with me.

896

Josie, open your eyes.

897

So I can see the pavement I'm going to smack my skull on?

898

And then suddenly, I hit a springy surface, bounced off of it, flipped, and landed straight on Alexander.

899

What the heck?

900

Did we just land on an inflatable mattress?

901

When she sent that photo of you tied up, I had my team set up these landing pads on every side of the building.

902

Just in case she tried something.

903

Oh my god, I love rich people so much, I could just kiss you right now!

904

Yeah?

905

What's stopping you?

906

His face was so close to mine, and suddenly, my heart wasn't just pounding from the near-death experience.

907

As we both leaned in, a pigeon suddenly pooped on my head.

908

And the moment was gone.

909

So, the good news was that Black Orchid was arrested on seven counts of money laundering, illegal arms deals, and, oh yeah,

910

kidnapping me and pushing me off a rooftop.

911

Also, her actual name was released on the news.

912

Janice Mildred Witherspoon.

913

Meanwhile, the corruption scandal exploded and Alexander was buried in lawyers, press conferences, and damage control.

914

You took down the mafia and exposed all these crooks.

915

You, Josie Hart, the girl who once got banned from Ikea for accidentally setting off a fire extinguisher thinking it was air freshener.

916

Yeah, I still can't believe it either.

917

I'm not the kind of person crazy exciting things happen to, only crazy stupid.

918

So the fake girlfriend gig is over?

919

We haven't had a chance to talk, but yeah, I should think so.

920

Serena wants him back, and that's what he wanted, right?

921

And with this scandal all over the news, I think my family won't take our breakup too badly.

922

And you're gonna let him go just like that?

923

Yep.

924

So, I just went back to my normal life.

925

If you can call baking a dozen loaves of banana bread every day

926

and sobbing into a pillow watching Pride and Prejudice for the hundredth time, normal.

927

One morning, as I was eating chocolate ice cream, the doorbell rang.

928

And I found Alexander outside, looking slightly tired, but as good as ever.

929

Hi, I should have called before coming, I guess, but I assumed you'd be home. Because what?

930

I couldn't possibly have plans?

931

Well, do you have any plans?

932

No...

933

Just come in.

934

So, how's it going with the ruined business and the shattered public image?

935

On the bright side, we can't be jailed for my grandfather's crimes.

936

But of course, we've taken a massive hit financially.

937

So, you're like, poor now?

938

Relatively.

939

We'll have to share a helicopter with another family.

940

It's free tonight, and I was wondering if I could fly you out for a date.

941

I mean a real one.

942

I really missed you, Josie.

943

You.. you mean that?

944

What about Serena?

945

Ugh, that insufferable woman.

946

So I figured I'd just been hung up on her because she dumped me.

947

And I didn't really want her.

948

And I went to tell her just that.

949

Except she rejected me first.

950

Again!

951

She said after my family's scandal she didn't want me.

952

It really gave her a piece of my mind.

953

I was bold, eloquent, I even quoted Shakespeare!

954

Oh, what did you say?

955

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

956

No, I shall not.

957

Because a summer's day is not a witch.

958

That's.. really something.

959

Thank you.

960

Also, I had Mia send your application for the bar exam again.

961

Honestly, after the pressure-filled situations you've been in, I have a feeling you'll breeze through it now.

962

But if you need me to, I can buy a law degree for you.

963

That's very sweet.

964

But maybe you stay away from doing illegal things, kay?

965

And yes, I'm free for a date tonight.

966

Can you send your styling team over though?

967

No. I like you just the way you are, Josie Hart.

968

Turns out, maybe I am the kind of person exciting things happen to.

969

And maybe, just maybe, I'll pass the bar exam next time.

970

If not, at least I've got a really hot backup plan.

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"took it way too far"에서 "took it"이 [tʊkɪt]로 연결되어 발음됩니다. 연결 발음을 통해 흐름 있는 말하기를 연습하세요.
"I can't even pass"에서 "can't even"은 [kænt ivən]으로 축약되어 발음됩니다. 영어 발음 교정에서 중요한 축약 현상을 체크하세요.
"family-sized bag"에서 "family-sized"는 [fæməli saɪzd]로 스트레스가 "saɪzd"에 가해집니다. 단어 내 스트레스 위치를 파악하는 것이 중요합니다.

원어민처럼 말하는 방법: 리듬과 스트레스

이 대화의 리듬은 긴장감 때문에 빠르지만, 중요한 정보를 전달할 때는 스트레스를 두고 발음합니다. 예를 들어 "Pretend dating?"에서 "Pretend"에 강조를 두어 상대방의 질문에 놀란 감정을 표현합니다. "shadow speak"를 할 때는 이 리듬을 정확히 따라가며, 스트레스가 있는 단어를 더 크고 명확하게 발음해보세요. 또한 "I could really use a family-sized bag of chips right now"처럼 긴 문장에서도 쉼표 위치에서 짧게 쉬어 자연스러운 흐름을 유지하는 연습을 하세요. 이렇게 반복练习하면 영상 영어 공부를 통해 실제 회화에서도 자신감 있게 말할 수 있습니다.

이 대화를 사용해 영어 회화 연습을 하면, 긴장 상황에서의 표현 뿐만 아니라 발음과 리듬까지 완벽하게 익힐 수 있습니다. "shadow speak" 방법을 꾸준히 적용하면 원어민 수준의 영어 실력을 키울 수 있습니다.

이 영상의 문법

화자가 가장 많이 쓰는 문형을 영상 속 실제 표현과 함께 정리했습니다.

문형	영상 속 표현
조건문 if + 절, will/would + 동사 — 조건과 그 결과	If you made Serena think you'd moved · if I did that, I'd be · if this news gets out, it'll destroy
현재완료진행 have/has been + -ing — 전에 시작해 지금도 계속되는 동작	They've been keeping · We've been keeping
현재완료 have/has + 과거분사 — 과거의 일이 지금도 관련이 있을 때	haven't arranged · life's been · I've moved
수동태 be + 과거분사 — 누가 하는지보다 무슨 일이 일어나는지에 초점	was yanked · be captured · was smudged

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법

쉐도잉(Shadowing)은 원래 전문 통역사 훈련을 위해 개발된 언어 학습 기법으로, 다언어 학자인 Dr. Alexander Arguelles에 의해 대중화된 방법입니다. 핵심 원리는 간단하지만 매우 강력합니다: 원어민의 영어를 들으면서 1~2초의 짧은 지연으로 즉시 소리 내어 따라 말하는 것——마치 '그림자(shadow)'처럼 화자를 따라가는 것입니다. 문법 공부나 수동적인 청취와 달리, 쉐도잉은 뇌와 입 근육이 동시에 실시간으로 영어를 처리하고 재현하도록 훈련합니다. 연구에 따르면 이 방법은 발음 정확도, 억양, 리듬, 연음, 청취력, 말하기 유창성을 크게 향상시킵니다. IELTS 스피킹 준비와 자연스러운 영어 소통을 원하는 분들에게 특히 효과적입니다.

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원어민처럼 말하는 방법: 리듬과 스트레스

이 영상의 문법

쉐도잉이란? 영어 실력을 빠르게 키우는 과학적 방법