Shadowing Practice: Being “the Strong One” Gets Exhausting | B2 English Shadowing - Learn English Speaking with Video
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Being the strong one often sounds like a compliment.
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People say it with respect, sometimes even with admiration.
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They see someone who does not break easily,
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who handles pressure calmly, who shows up for others again and again without complaining.
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From the outside, it looks like power,
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like stability, like emotional maturity.
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But what people do not always see is the quiet cost behind that role.
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Over time, being the strong one can become deeply exhausting,
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not because strength itself is a problem,
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but because of the expectations,
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the silence, and the emotional weight that come with it.
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At first, this role usually does not feel like a burden.
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It often begins naturally.
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Maybe you were the older sibling who had to be responsible.
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Maybe you were the friend who listened better than others.
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Maybe you learned early that staying calm and reliable made life easier for everyone around you.
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People start depending on you,
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and slowly, without even noticing,
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you become the person others turn to when things fall apart.
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In many ways, it feels meaningful.
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You feel needed.
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You feel trusted, and for a while, that feels good.
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However, the problem begins when this identity becomes fixed.
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When people always see you as the strong one,
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they also begin to assume that you do not need support.
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They assume that you are always okay,
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even when you are not.
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They stop asking how you feel,
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not because they do not care,
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but because they believe you can handle everything on your own.
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And this is where the emotional imbalance starts to grow.
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You give more than you receive,
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not intentionally, but gradually and over time, that imbalance becomes heavy.
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One of the most exhausting parts of being the strong one is the pressure to maintain that image.
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When people rely on you to be calm,
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to be stable, to be the solution,
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it becomes difficult to show vulnerability.
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You may start to feel like you are not allowed to break down,
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not allowed to be confused,
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not allowed to feel lost.
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Even when you are struggling inside,
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you tell yourself to stay strong because that is who you are supposed to be.
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And the longer you do this,
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the more disconnected you become from your own emotions.
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This does not mean that strong people do not feel pain.
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In fact, they often feel it deeply.
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The difference is that they have learned to hide it well.
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They smile when they are tired.
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They give advice when they themselves are unsure.
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They support others while quietly carrying their own emotional weight.
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And while this may look impressive from the outside,
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it creates a silent loneliness that is hard to explain.
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There is also a subtle kind of fear that comes with this role.
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It is the fear of disappointing others.
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When people see you as strong,
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they build expectations around that image.
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You become the reliable one,
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the stable one, the one who will always figure things out.
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And once those expectations are in place,
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it becomes harder to step out of them.
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You may worry that if you show weakness,
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people will see you differently.
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You may worry that you will lose the respect or trust you have built.
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So instead of asking for help, you keep everything inside.
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Over time, this emotional suppression can become dangerous.
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Not in a dramatic way,
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but in a slow, quiet way.
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Feelings that are not expressed do not disappear.
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They build up.
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Stress becomes constant.
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Fatigue becomes normal.
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You start to feel emotionally drained,
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even if your life looks fine from the outside.
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And sometimes,
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you do not even realize how tired you are until you
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reach a point where you simply cannot keep going in the same way.
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Another important aspect is that being the strong one can affect your relationships.
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When you are always the one who supports others, the dynamic becomes one-sided.
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People come to you with their problems,
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but they may not think to ask about yours.
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Not because they do not care,
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but because they're used to seeing you in a certain role.
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And if you never express your own needs,
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they may never realize that something is missing.
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This creates a quiet emotional gap.
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You are surrounded by people,
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but you may not feel truly understood.
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You listen to others deeply,
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but you are not always heard in the same way.
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And over time, this can lead to a sense of isolation.
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You may begin to feel like no one really knows what you're going through
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because you have never shown that side of yourself.
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There is also a deeper psychological layer to this.
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Many people who take on the role of the strong one develop a strong sense of responsibility for others.
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They feel like they have to fix things to help to be available.
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Saying no becomes difficult.
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Setting boundaries feels uncomfortable.
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And as a result, they often take on more than they can handle.
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They carry not only their own emotions,
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but also the emotions of others.
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At some point, this becomes unsustainable.
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Human beings are not designed to carry everything alone.
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Strength does not mean being able to handle everything without support.
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True strength includes knowing when to rest,
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when to ask for help,
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and when to admit that something is too much.
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But for someone who has always been the strong one,
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learning this can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable.
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One of the most important realizations is that strength and vulnerability are not opposites.
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In fact, they are deeply connected.
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Being able to say, I am not okay, requires courage.
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Being able to ask for help requires trust.
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And allowing yourself to be seen in your weaker moments does not make you less strong.
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It makes you more human,
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more balanced, and ultimately more resilient.
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Letting go of the need to always be strong is not easy.
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It often requires unlearning patterns that have been built over many years.
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It may involve uncomfortable conversations where you express needs that you have never shared before.
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It may involve setting boundaries,
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even if it feels unfamiliar.
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And it may involve facing emotions that you have ignored for a long time.
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But this process is necessary because constantly being the strong one without any emotional support is not sustainable.
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It leads to burnout, to emotional exhaustion,
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and to a quiet loss of connection with yourself.
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And no matter how capable you are,
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you deserve to be supported too.
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It is also important to understand that people cannot meet needs that they do not know exist.
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If you always appear strong,
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others will assume that you do not need help.
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This is why communication is so important.
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Opening up, even in small ways,
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can slowly change the dynamic.
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It allows others to see you more fully,
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not just as the strong one,
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but as a person with real emotions and real needs.
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In healthy relationships, support should go both ways.
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It should not be one person always giving and another always receiving.
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When you allow yourself to be supported,
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you create space for deeper, more balanced connections.
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You give others the opportunity to care for you in the same way that you care for them.
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There is also a certain freedom that comes with stepping out of this role.
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When you no longer feel the need to always appear strong,
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you can be more honest with yourself.
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You can acknowledge your limits.
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You can rest without guilt.
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You can experience your emotions without trying to control or hide them all the time.
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And in doing so, you build a more authentic sense of strength,
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one that is not based on pressure,
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but on self-awareness and balance.
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Being the strong one is not something you need to completely reject.
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Strength is valuable.
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It helps you face challenges,
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support others, and move forward in difficult times.
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But it should not come at the cost of your own well-being.
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Strength should include flexibility, honesty,
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and the ability to receive support, not just give it.
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At the end of day the goal is not to stop
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being strong the goal is to redefine what strength means it
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is not about carrying everything alone it is about knowing
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that you do not have to it is about understanding
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that asking for help does not make you weak it makes you real and perhaps the most important truth is this.
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You do not have to earn rest,
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care, or understanding by being strong all the time.
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You deserve those things simply because you are human.
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Even the strongest people need support.
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Even the most stable person has moments of doubt.
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And allowing yourself to experience those moments does not take away your strength.
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It completes it.
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze spreekles op niveau B2 is gebaseerd op de video “Being “the Strong One” Gets Exhausting”. Deze woorden komen het vaakst terug: strong, strength, emotional, emotions, role. Deze video bevat 168 zinnen en 1468 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 10:31. De spreker praat in een gelijkmatig tempo van ongeveer 140 woorden per minuut, prettig om te shadowen. 91% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is goed te volgen.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
De 15 moeilijkste woorden uit de video, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| emotion zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/ | emotie |
| expectation zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/ | verwachting, afwachting |
| uncomfortable bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/ | ongemakkelijk |
| imbalance zelfstandig naamwoord | onbalans, onevenwichtigheid | |
| vulnerability zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/ | kwetsbaarheid, zwakke plek |
| exhaust werkwoord | /ɪɡˈzɔst/ | uitputten, verminderen |
| boundary zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈbaʊndɹi/ | grens |
| burnout zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈbɜː(ɹ)naʊt/ | burn-out |
| exhaustion zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɪɡˈzɔːs.t͡ʃən/ | uitputting |
| resilient bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ɹɪˈzɪl.jənt/ | weerbaar |
| unlearn werkwoord | /ʌnˈlɝn/ | afleren, verleren |
| calmly bijwoord | /ˈkɑː(ɹ)m.li/ | kalmpjes, kalmweg |
| admiration zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌæd.məˈɹeɪ.ʃən/ | bewondering |
| sibling zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈsɪb.lɪŋ/ | brus, sibling |
| loneliness zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈloʊnlinəs/ | eenzaamheid |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| break down werkwoord | stukgaan, kapot gaan |
| build up werkwoord | opstapelen |
| fall apart werkwoord | uiteenvallen, uit elkaar vallen |
Grammatica in deze video
De structuren die de spreker het meest gebruikt, met de exacte woorden uit de video:
| Structuur | In de video |
|---|---|
| Lijdende vorm be + voltooid deelwoord — het gaat om wat er gebeurt, niet om wie het doet | are not allowed · are not expressed · are surrounded |
| Present perfect have/has + voltooid deelwoord — iets uit het verleden dat nu nog telt | have learned · have built · have never shown |
| Betrekkelijke bijzinnen who / which + zin — extra informatie over een persoon of ding | someone who does · friend who listened · one who will |
Uitspraak om op te letten
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, admiration /ˌæd.məˈɹeɪ.ʃən/, suppression /səˈpɹɛʃən/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: expectation /ˌɛk.spɛkˈteɪ.ʃən/, uncomfortable /ʌnˈkʌm.fɚ.tə.bl̩/, unfamiliar /ˌʌnfəˈmɪli.ə(ɹ)/, vulnerability /ˌvʌln(ə)ɹəˈbɪlɪti/, admiration /ˌæd.məˈɹeɪ.ʃən/
Klanken die Nederlandstaligen lastig vinden:
- Stemhebbende eindmedeklinker — /b/, /d/, /g/, /z/, /v/ niet verscherpen: surround /səˈɹaʊnd/, fatigue /fəˈtiːɡ/, acknowledge /əkˈnɑ.lɪd͡ʒ/, depend /dɪˈpɛnd/
- /g/ — een harde plofklank, geen Nederlandse “g”: exhaust /ɪɡˈzɔst/, exhaustion /ɪɡˈzɔːs.t͡ʃən/, fatigue /fəˈtiːɡ/, guilt /ɡɪlt/
- /w/ — met ronde lippen: weaker /ˈwikɚ/, quietly /ˈkwaɪ.ɪt.li/, weakness /ˈwik.nɪs/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Spreek zin voor zin na op normale snelheid en herhaal elke zin tot je ritme gelijk is aan dat van de spreker.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als emotion, expectation, uncomfortable.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.