Shadowing Practice: Ted's Most Hilarious Shenanigans! | Ted | Big Screen Laughs - Learn English Speaking with Video
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1
But listen, you gotta kick me out of school.
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Ted, I already told you.
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I have weed.
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What?
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I am in possession of marijuana here on school premises.
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May I see it?
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Well, I...
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I lost it.
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You lost it?
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Yeah, but he had weed, all right?
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I'm a witness.
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I would need to see the marijuana for there to be consequences.
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Look, we are telling you the truth.
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Yeah, I'm a bad seed.
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See, look.
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I love you.
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Drugs.
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I love drugs.
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Should we say grace?
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Oh, yeah, good idea.
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Hello, God.
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It's me, Ted.
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One of your weirder creations.
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Sorry about what I said today.
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Not that your deacons aren't attractive, but I'm saving my mouth for marriage.
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Let us not be so high that we have to call an ambulance.
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Amen.
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Amen.
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Okay.
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Let there be light.
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Excuse me.
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Hi.
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Uh, hi.
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I'm, uh...
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I'm John Bennett.
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Hi there.
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Ooh, you just, uh, wash your hands?
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Uh, yeah, I just, when I, you know, a while ago, not now.
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I had diarrhea.
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Hi, I'm Ted.
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I'm Sheila.
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Oh, let's not ruin things.
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Hey, listen, we couldn't help but notice you were, uh, smoking a little pot.
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Yeah, midterms, you know.
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What, are you gonna narc on me?
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Oh, we're not judging.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Teddy and I often partake of el bol.
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And the pot inside it, da.
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Cha -cha -cha.
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You know what the problem is?
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Education.
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There is a complete lack of education in this family.
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That's not true.
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I go to school.
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I'm taking a pottery class.
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What about Ted?
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Hmm?
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He's never had a day of education in his life, and it shows, using words like Polack.
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Oh, it was Polack.
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The teacher says my ashtray show's promised.
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You should be going to school every day with John.
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You've learned something, and maybe you wouldn't make all these ignorant comments.
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Uh -huh, yeah, no thanks.
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Why not? Because.
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TV.
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You guys need marriage counseling.
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Oh, that.
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What's the matter?
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You scared of therapy, too?
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Oh, it's .
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I'm not gonna pay some shrink 80 bucks to sit there
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and show me ink blots that all look like priests with their dicks out.
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Well, I...
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I think that's already progress.
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Huh?
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Look, I have a proposal.
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I've saved up a little money working extra shifts at the coffee shop.
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As my Christmas gift to you and Susan this year, I will pay for one marriage counseling session.
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All you gotta do is show up.
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Oh, maybe, can we?
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Jesus, Susan.
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What would we even talk about?
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Oh, we could talk about how much we love each other.
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Okay, you know what?
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Fine.
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We'll go.
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Just to show you that you're full of And Susan and I have a great marriage.
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In fact, you know what?
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Let's go right now.
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It's not open at 9 p .m.
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Oh, and the bull begins.
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Now, let's start with the basics.
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Would you classify your marriage as sexually satisfying?
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What?
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How often would you say you have intercourse?
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That's none of your goddamn business.
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Look, why don't we just stick to...
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Every six months.
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Every six months.
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And what about anal?
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Jesus Christ!
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We do like the room to be clean, yeah.
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She said, yes?
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Hilarious.
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Okay, now I want you to turn to each other and say the meanest thing you can think of.
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How is everything?
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Oh, it's just wonderful.
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Not good, Kevo.
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The word apple ain't in here anywhere.
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They allow diagonal, sir.
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Well, they should put that in the goddamn directions.
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I'll tell the chef.
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Yeah.
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Maddie, you have to try this crab.
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No, I'm fine.
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Oh, just one bite.
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It's so delicious.
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I'm fine.
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I got my own food.
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Just a baby bite.
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I don't want any.
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Just try it.
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Just one bite.
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Jesus Christ, Susan, why is it always so important that I have some of what you ordered?
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I want you to have some of this because I think you'll like it.
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Well, if I wanted the goddamn crab, I would have ordered the goddamn crab.
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But in the car on the way home, I can say, wasn't it good at all?
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For f*ing sake, all right.
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You know?
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All right.
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Oh, goddammit.
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Okay, this is perfect.
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Mom and Dad are gonna be out of the house and Blair's got school.
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There will never be a better time. For what?
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To rent a real porno.
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Well, how are we supposed to do it?
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That butt nut in the store says we gotta be 18.
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There's a different guy that comes in at 6 for the night shift.
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All right, we get fake IDs, we go in after 6, we can rent that porno.
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I don't know, Johnny, it's a risk.
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I mean, if we get caught...
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Teddy, watching other people have sex on a TV screen, that's just about the coolest thing a person can do.
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It's worth the risk.
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By this time tomorrow, that dream could be ours.
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All right, let's get some sleep.
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We jerk at first light.
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Okay, now as far as anyone knows, we're two ad executives on a business trip from Hartford looking for some local talent.
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Right.
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Hey, uh, keep these milkshakes coming, huh?
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Sure thing.
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You know, um, we're celebrating.
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Just landed a big account.
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Bounty.
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It's a very famous paper towel.
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Yep, I use them every day.
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Oh, terrific.
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Well, you know, originally the slogan was supposed to be the quicker picker -upper, but we added the word thicker, quicker picker -upper.
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Bought a summer house with that one adjective.
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We can't read this whole thing.
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Well, if we're gonna figure out if I'm actually Jesus, we at least gotta skim it.
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I have never seen pages so thin.
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I know, it's like Kleenex with boring stories on it.
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You know, I was thinking, How do we know that Dennis isn't Jesus?
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Johnny, Jesus walked on water, all right?
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Walked.
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That means he had feet, not wheels.
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Yeah, that makes sense.
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Oh, wait, hang on.
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Stop right there.
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Look, look, look.
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Matthew 21, 31.
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Truly I say to you, the tax collectors and prostitutes go into the kingdom of heaven before you.
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Look at that.
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Jesus hangs out with hookers.
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Yeah, and he says there's hookers in heaven, so he sounds a lot like you.
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Oh, yeah, heaven is probably mostly hookers.
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Wait, so you're paying for sex in heaven?
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You're not paying him for sex.
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You're paying him to fly away.
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Oh.
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Let's see.
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And behold, I come quickly, and my reward is with me, to give a...
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What was that first part?
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Uh, behold, I come quickly.
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Jesus said that?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, that's not the kind of thing I'd start with, behold.
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What else?
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Wait, look, look, look, right there, right there.
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John the Apostle.
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Jesus had an apostle named John.
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Holy shit.
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Those were like his buddies, right?
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Yeah, yeah.
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There was Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Johnny, Blitzen, and Larry, Daryl, and Daryl.
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There's no doubt anymore.
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I'm the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Holy shit.
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Does this mean you have, like, powers and stuff?
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Yeah, but I probably gotta learn how to use them.
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Flip to the spells.
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Okay, spells.
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Spells.
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Spells.
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Spells.
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I wonder what my alignment is.
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Chaotic good.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Good, but, like, you know, I might fuck around a little bit.
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Yeah.
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Shit, we supposed to have dice?
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Let the festivities begin.
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How many we got?
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Well, let's see.
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We got 20 cartons, 12 eggs in each.
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It's gotta be like 20 dozen eggs, right?
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Fantastic.
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Do you think we're getting too old for this?
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Oh, come on, Johnny.
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We're doing a public service here.
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If a kid leaves the house in a less -than -stellar Halloween costume, he's gotta get the bad news before he makes a fool of himself all over town.
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We're Samaritans.
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You remember last year?
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Oh, check it out.
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There's one.
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Hey, nice costume!
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Woordenschat en spreektips bij deze les
Deze video bevat 226 zinnen en 1330 woorden om na te spreken. Het gesproken deel duurt 7:17. De spreker praat snel, ongeveer 183 woorden per minuut, dus reken op verbonden en ingeslikte klanken. Slechts 80% van de woorden hoort bij de 3.000 meest gebruikte Engelse woorden, dus de woordenschat is pittig.
Belangrijke woorden in deze video
15 woorden uit de video die het leren waard zijn, met uitspraak en betekenis:
| Woord | Uitspraak | Betekenis |
|---|---|---|
| spell zelfstandig naamwoord | /spɛl/ | toverspreuk, betovering |
| bite werkwoord | /baɪt/ | bijten |
| behold werkwoord | /bɪˈhəʊld/ | aanschouwen |
| crab zelfstandig naamwoord | /kɹæb/ | krab |
| egg zelfstandig naamwoord | /ɛɡ/ | ei |
| weed zelfstandig naamwoord | /wiːd/ | onkruid, wied |
| marijuana zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˌmɛɹɪˈwɑ.nə/ | marihuana |
| costume zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈkɑsˌt(j)um/ | kostuum, klederdracht |
| amen | /(ˌ)ɑːˈmɛn/ | amen, amen en uit |
| proposal zelfstandig naamwoord | /pɹəˈpoʊzəl/ | voorstel |
| thin bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /ˈθɪn/ | dun |
| thick bijvoeglijk naamwoord | /θɪk/ | dik, dikke |
| buddy | /ˈbʌdi/ | maat, maatje |
| sake zelfstandig naamwoord | /ˈseɪ̯k/ | -halve, wille |
| possession zelfstandig naamwoord | /pəˈzɛʃn̩/ | bezetenheid |
Phrasal verbs die je zult horen
| Woord | Betekenis |
|---|---|
| figure out werkwoord | uitvogelen, er achter komen |
| show up werkwoord | tentoonstellen |
Uitspraak om op te letten
De spreker gebruikt 51 samentrekkingen en verkorte vormen, zoals I'm, gotta, we're. Spreek ze kort uit, zoals je ze hoort.
- De “th”-klanken: thin /ˈθɪn/, thick /θɪk/
- De klanken “sh” en “zh”: possession /pəˈzɛʃn̩/, delicious /dɪˈlɪ.ʃəs/, chef /ʃɛf/, ashtray /ˈæʃ.tɹeɪ/, milkshake /ˈmɪlk.ʃeɪk/
- Lange woorden — let op de klemtoon: marijuana /ˌmɛɹɪˈwɑ.nə/, hilarious /hɪˈlɛə.ɹi.əs/, diarrhea /ˌdaɪ.əˈɹiː.ə/, diagonal /daɪ̯ˈæɡ(ə)nəl/, festivity /fɛˈstɪvəti/
Zo oefen je met deze video
- Luister de hele video één keer zonder te spreken en noteer de woorden die je niet kent.
- Begin op 0,75× snelheid, spreek zin voor zin na en ga terug naar normale snelheid zodra het makkelijk gaat.
- Neem jezelf op en vergelijk met het origineel; let daarbij op woorden als spell, bite, behold.
Wat is de Shadowing-techniek?
Shadowing is een wetenschappelijk onderbouwde taalleermethode die oorspronkelijk is ontwikkeld voor professionele tolkentraining en gepopulariseerd door polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. De methode is eenvoudig maar krachtig: je luistert naar native Engelse audio en herhaalt het onmiddellijk hardop — als een schaduw die de spreker volgt met slechts 1–2 seconden vertraging. In tegenstelling tot passief luisteren of grammaticadrills, dwingt shadowing je hersenen en mondspieren om echte spraakpatronen tegelijkertijd te verwerken en te reproduceren. Onderzoek toont aan dat het de uitspraaknauwkeurigheid, intonatie, ritme, verbonden spraak, luisterbegrip en spreekvaardigheid aanzienlijk verbetert — waardoor het een van de meest effectieve methoden is voor IELTS Speaking-voorbereiding en echte Engelse communicatie.