Shadowing Practice: why doesn’t life feel the same anymore? - Learn English Speaking with Video

Why is life not lifing lately?

Nothing seems to excite you anymore.

You don't really want to go out, but you're also bored at home.

And when you do hang out with your friends, it feels awkward and hard to enjoy the moment.

When did everything change?

This is the adult life I thought I always wanted.

My own place, a kitchen that I could cook in without anyone annoying me, nights where I could finally be alone, just Netflix, dinner, and me.

And now that I'm finally living this dream, I'm wondering, is this it?

Is this really all there is?

Three months ago, I moved to downtown Chicago after spending three years living at home with my parents.

Working, saving, grinding, just so I could afford to live on my own.

To be in the city I grew up next to but never really got to be a part of.

And I did it.

But a few months later, after all the excitement and novelty has worn off, I'm sitting at my desk on a Wednesday morning watching people on their way to work thinking, what now?

Is life just about waking up, brushing your teeth, going to work, making dinner, doom scrolling, and repeating?

If I were to describe this feeling, it's kind of like a hamster wheel that you can't get off of.

Always chasing after the next goal, the next milestone.

Once you've done this, now you gotta do this.

Remember to file your taxes, schedule your dentist appointment, follow up with your supervisor, call your mom and wish her happy birthday, renew your passport.

Oh, and you also have no food in your house, so add groceries to the list.

Every finish line just becomes the new starting line.

And suddenly, we're all trying to rack up as many points as possible to win.

Social media has become this giant game of flexing on each other, seeing who's the most successful and further along than everyone else.

It feels like everyone's achieving bigger and better goals and gaining more points while you're not even on the leaderboard.

But we were never supposed to see this much of other people's lives.

Humans lived for hundreds of thousands of years, knowing maybe 100 people.

They knew their village, their family, and that was it.

Now we wake up every morning and scroll past hundreds of people in one day.

We're constantly watching their highlight reels, their relationships, their bodies, and everything is seemingly perfect.

We were never built for this.

Our brains were not designed to process that volume of comparison, yet here we are doing it before we've even gotten out of bed.

But we're also the ones to blame.

We were never supposed to have our own lives projected back at us either.

Every meal documented on an Instagram story, every Snapchat memory reminding us of what happened on this day five years ago.

Every milestone announced on LinkedIn, every experience is slightly removed from reality, and everything we're seeing is through glass.

No wonder nothing feels the same.

I was thinking really hard about the last time I truly felt carefree, and honestly, it was before the pandemic.

When I look at photos before 2020, they look really different to me.

Like everything was saturated with hope and possibility, and I wasn't tired all the time.

Obviously, I was younger and more naive.

I hadn't experienced a lot of what life had to offer yet, but it wasn't just me.

I think the world looked and felt a lot brighter and lighter.

When COVID first hit, I was a freshman in college in LA and overnight, I basically had to leave everything behind and move back into my childhood home in the Midwest.

I missed an entire year of my college experience and when I came back as a junior, everything had changed.

There was social distancing, people were more on edge and paranoid of physical contact.

Everyone was on their phones thanks to TikTok and in-person events were replaced by Zoom parties.

Human interaction became optional, then slowly it became the exception.

It's been six years and while some things on the surface have returned to normal, underneath I think all of us who were young when that happened learned something we couldn't unlearn.

Mortality.

That things can just end at any time.

The world can change overnight.

Nothing is guaranteed the way we thought it was.

And knowing stuff does something to you.

That's why I think our generation tends to poke fun at serious things.

We turn tragedies into memes, hardships into parodies, because laughing at stuff is a lot easier than dealing with it.

But deep down, we've become more cynical, a little more guarded, and less willing to let ourselves want things too much.

And in turn, this makes life feel more stale.

And this is probably why I think about lasts a lot.

The last time I played on a playground.

The last time I ran a mile in gym class.

The last college party I went to.

You never know when something is the last time until you're standing on the other side of it looking back.

I think the answer to the question, why doesn't life feel the same anymore, is pretty simple.

Because you don't allow it to.

We're all living this double life online and in reality.

Nothing feels real.

Is this picture AI?

Is this website gonna scam me?

Why is this person sending me a friend request when I don't even know them?

Everything's expensive.

We all have some form of anxiety.

Everyone's addicted to their phone.

All the food in the store is bad for us.

And the news is constantly reminding us of every single crime that's happening in the world.

Of course, it's easy to pity ourselves and accept that life will just never be the same.

But when I think about it, was it always so great or were we just ignorant?

Was life actually better before or have we just changed?

I keep coming back to my dinner, me alone watching Netflix thinking, I wanted this and I wonder if the problem isn't the dinner itself.

I wonder if the problem is that I was barely there for it.

I was watching something I wasn't really watching, eating food I didn't really taste, spending an evening that I'll never remember because I was only half present for it.

And yeah, eating dinner on a Monday night isn't something to brag about, but these micro experiences are the things that make up life.

And without them, you wonder why you feel so empty.

And I think that's what's actually different.

Not life itself, but how present I am in it.

I think we can all agree

that life felt a lot brighter before we had a phone in our hand all the time, before we had a platform to constantly show up on.

There's something that happens when you start living your life for other people.

Whether that's for your followers, your boss, your spouse, or your parents.

Life becomes more miserable when we start living it outside of ourselves.

You're at a nice dinner, but you're also thinking about work tomorrow.

You're at the concert, but you're too focused on recording it.

You're on a walk, but you're scrolling instead of enjoying nature.

And in that gap between the experience and the documentation of it, the actual living goes away.

And ironically, despite being so removed from actually being present, we've also never been more obsessed with pursuit.

We're so adamant on everyone having a purpose, a mission, a reason to get out of bed that sounds impressive to other people.

And I've worked so hard to build mine, my career, my apartment, my social circle, and I got them.

But now I feel uncomfortable because I don't know the next mountain to climb.

Like, who am I when I'm not chasing something?

Where is my hamster wheel?

100

But I don't think the answer is to create more drama in my life.

101

I don't need problems just to have something to solve.

102

I don't need to keep chasing an arbitrary goal just to feel busy.

103

I think the answer is to actually show up for the life I'm already living, to eat the pasta and actually taste all the flavors,

104

to look out my window at the city and feel proud of myself.

105

21-year-old me sitting in her childhood bedroom would have given anything to be exactly where I am right now.

106

It's the little things that make up life, the music, the food, the adventures, the relationships, the trauma, and the joy.

107

If you're watching this and something resonated with you, I want you to think about one thing.

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One thing that makes you remember who you are.

109

A person, an activity, a place that reminds you of what makes you happy

110

and doesn't make you feel like you have to perform or optimize anything.

111

And I want you to do this thing just for you.

112

Not for content, not because it looks good to other people, just because you want to.

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And it's your life.

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Because when you think about it, life is actually pretty short and you deserve to be present for all of it.

📺 Zelfde Kanaal

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