Shadowing Practice: Charisma Of Competence - Learn English Speaking with YouTube
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There are two kinds of confident people in the world.
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There are two kinds of confident people in the world.
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The ones who are confident because life has been relatively kind to them.
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They are naturally charming and so doors easily open for them and the room always seem to already like them.
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And then there are the ones who are confident because they did the work.
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They studied, they prepared, and they got undeniably good at something and in that process built something inside them that no amount of natural charm can even manufacture.
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Both are incredibly magnetic, but only one of them is unshakable.
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Welcome back to the Icar playbook.
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Today, we will be exploring the charisma of competence.
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Let's start with understanding how competence builds confidence.
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Confidence borrowed is confidence borrowed.
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Confidence earned is confidence owned.
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Let me explain.
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Let's take a look at Blair and Serena.
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Both are confident in their own way, but they cannot be more different from each other.
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And that difference shows you exactly why earned confidence is unshakable.
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Serena is naturally charming.
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She has this bright magnetic energy that draws people in effortlessly.
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It opens doors for her and opportunities just seem to find her.
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There's a scene where she walks into a magazine photoshoot for Blair and the photographer immediately wants to feature Serena instead.
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Not because she necessarily did anything but because of her presence and her charm.
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That's her source of confidence.
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People respond to her and that response validates her.
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Blair, on the other hand, knows she's not as naturally charming as Serena.
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In fact, it's one of the driving forces as to why she works so hard to overcompensate that insecurity, but regardless, she is painfully aware of it.
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But here's what Blair has that Serena doesn't.
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She's ambitious, she's strategic, and she is relentless.
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She doesn't stop until she achieves her goals.
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If she says she will do something, then it will get done.
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During her Yale admission interview, she's quite direct about this.
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She tells the interviewer straight up, I'm not good with people the way others are, but everything you need to know about me is in this application.
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And she hands over a portfolio of her accomplishments, her leadership, her results, what she can do, and what she has achieved.
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Two completely different sources of confidence.
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And this is why the latter, the one that is earned, hits differently.
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Because when you know what you did to get there, when you have the proof of your confidence that you can quite literally organize into an application, put into a portfolio, and hand it to people as proof of your competence, nobody can shake that foundation.
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Think about it.
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If you go to the gym and you work out consistently, you eat well, and you build your dream body, someone coming along and calling you fat wouldn't even bother you one bit.
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Why?
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Because you know what you've put in and your body is proof of that.
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Or let's say that you study hard, you get good grades, you ace your exams, you win competitions, and you earn recognition for it.
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Someone coming along and calling you stupid wouldn't even phase you the slightest because you have proof that you are capable.
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You've earned the confidence through competence and no offhand remark can take that away from you.
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That's the difference between confidence borrowed and confidence earned.
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Borrowed confidence, it depends on external validation and as a result it can be quite fragile because it comes from how people respond to you how they perceive you and how they like you and the moment that validation disappears so does the confidence serena got into yale also because she's great with people but let's say she couldn't charm her way in that would be a huge hit to her confidence earned confidence is internal it's built on what you've done, what you can do, and what you've proven to yourself.
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It doesn't need anyone else's approval because it's rooted in evidence, in mastery, in results.
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Your competence is no longer an opinion, it is a fact.
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But beyond that, it's also yours.
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You can take it with you wherever you go.
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Job changes, relationships end, circumstances, shifts, but your skill, your mastery, and your track record, those travel with you as you grow and as you enter different stages of your life.
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And that creates a level of security and builds a type of confidence that is just incredibly valuable.
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This is the personal power that being competent grants you, but you can also gain social power also.
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Which leads us to the next section on how competence earns authority and even grace.
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When you're undeniably good at what you do, people have to respect you, even if they don't like you.
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Let's take a look at Miranda from The Devil Wears Prada.
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She is not a very likable person.
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She's cold, she's demanding, she makes her assistants cry, she's genuinely difficult to be around, and yet people still show up to work for her.
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In fact, people fight for the opportunity to work for her.
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Why?
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Because she's the best in the fashion industry.
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Working for Miranda means learning from someone at the absolute top of her field.
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It means access to opportunities, connections, and a level of excellence that you literally cannot get anywhere else.
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Her competence overrides her personality.
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People tolerate the difficulty because of what she offers, her expertise, her network, her eye.
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It's invaluable.
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That is social power.
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Or let's take a look at Olivia Pope from Scandal.
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There are people in Washington who genuinely despise her.
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They hate her for whether it be personal reasons, for professional reasons, or political reasons.
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But when they're in a crisis, when their reputation is on the line, and when they need to have a scandal managed, when everything is falling apart, they call Olivia.
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Because she's undeniably the best at what she does, and when you need results, personal feelings become irrelevant.
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You go to the person who can actually solve the problem.
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That is the power of competence.
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Yes, being nice and being charming has its perks.
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It makes you very socially desirable.
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But when you stack on competence, that's what makes you socially valuable.
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It commands respect.
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Not the kind of respect that you have to demand, but the kind that's given automatically because your work speaks for itself.
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People might not like you, but they have to acknowledge your skill.
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And acknowledgement is a form of power.
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It also creates demand.
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When you're competent, people seek you out.
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They need what you can do.
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You're not chasing opportunities, opportunities come to you.
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In fact, they might even chase you because competent people are rare and rare things are valuable.
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Competence also gives you, quite literally, power because it builds authority naturally.
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You don't have to assert dominance or fight for your position.
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When you consistently deliver, people defer to you.
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They trust your judgment.
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They follow your lead, not because you demanded it, but because you've proven you know what you're doing, and Therefore, people trust your leadership.
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They willingly give you power.
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And one of the most valuable things that you earn socially is the grace that you're given when you're competent.
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People forgive things they wouldn't forgive in someone else.
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Your directness isn't rude anymore, it's efficient.
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Your high standards aren't demanding anymore, it's what drives excellence.
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Your quirks are no longer weird, they're just part of your process.
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Why?
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Because you deliver.
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Because you get results and because they need you.
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Miranda can make people cry, but people will still fight to work for her because she can make careers.
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Olivia can be polarizing, but people still seek her out because she also makes problems disappear.
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Their competence buys them latitude that charm alone never could.
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But of course, this isn't permission to be rude, and this isn't about using your competence as an excuse to treat people poorly, obviously.
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The point is not be difficult and people will tolerate it because you're good.
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The point is competence creates a foundation of respect that charm alone cannot build.
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Charm gets you in the room, competence keeps you there.
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Charm makes people like you, competence makes people need you.
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That's the social power of being undeniably good at what you do.
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Mastery creates a gravity that personality alone never could.
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People extend grace to those who are genuinely exceptional.
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They work around the edges because the value is undeniable.
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This is why universities give out scholarships to people who they think are incredibly talented and could bring value to their institution.
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And why some companies go out of their way to make these massive offers to hire people that they believe have the skills that they need.
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You quite literally become so good that people cannot ignore you.
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With that note, mastery isn't a license to be difficult.
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The most magnetic version of competence is paired with at least a degree of humility.
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And so now that we understand why competence is so powerful, both personally and socially, and now you want to be competent but don't know where to start, this section is for you.
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How to build competence.
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Here are some advice that could help you get started in the right direction Tip number one pick one thing to master There's a saying that you can do anything you want but not everything and this is so important to remember because you cannot be excellent at everything Especially all at once trying to catch two bunnies at once means you'll catch none and trying to be competent in 10 different areas At once means you'll end up being mediocre in all of them So choose one thing strategically.
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What skill, if you've mastered it, would have the biggest impact on your life?
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What would open the most doors?
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What do you actually care about enough to commit to for the long haul?
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Pick that and then go deep, not surface level familiarity, deep enough that you become undeniably good that people cannot ignore you.
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Deep enough that people think of you when they need that thing done.
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And here's something worth mentioning.
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If you're starting, give yourself permission to suck.
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Everyone begins terrible.
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That's not a sign that you're not cut out for it, it's just that is the path to competence.
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Everyone kind of sucks when they first start something, but the goal is to suck less over time.
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Tip number two, study the best in your field.
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Having someone you can learn from means you don't have to figure everything out from scratch.
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You can learn from their mistakes without making them yourself, and you can piggyback off of what works for them to give yourself a shortcut to success.
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There's always people who have mastered what you're trying to learn.
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Study them.
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Watch how they work.
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Read what they've written.
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Analyze their process and reverse engineer their approach.
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If you don't have someone in your immediate circle that you can learn from, you have the entire internet.
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When I was learning how to be more confident, that is exactly what I did.
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And that's how we came up with the entire It Girl lessons from It Girl series.
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If you're learning to write, don't just write anything.
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Study great writers, identify what makes their work so compelling, and then practice those specific techniques.
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If you want to master a hobby or sport, there's artists and athletes that you can observe and analyze to your benefit.
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Take advantage of the internet and what it has to offer and learn from the best.
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Tip number three, show up consistently.
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One great performance isn't competence.
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It can quite literally be a lucky moment, but when you consistently perform great, that is when you're truly remarkable.
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Nobody can deny that you're good at what you do.
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Competence is what happens when you deliver again and again and again.
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But in order to get to that level, you need to be consistent because that consistency, it compounds.
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Every time you show up, you get a little bit better.
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If you've read the book, Atomic Habits, you understand the power of showing up consistently and the power of just getting 1% better each day.
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Every time you show up, you should be pushing yourself just slightly beyond where you were yesterday.
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Don't just do the bare minimum, show up with attention, challenge yourself, stretch just beyond your current ability.
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That's where growth actually happens.
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They say that hard work beats talent every single time and so let your dedication prove that you have what it takes.
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And tip number four, focus on results, not just effort.
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This is something that I personally struggled with a lot where I felt like I constantly needed to be busy.
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But just because you are busy doesn't mean you are productive.
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And this is something I realize a lot of people misunderstand.
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They confuse effort with competence.
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They think, I worked really hard at this, so I must be good at it.
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But that's not really how it works.
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While your intention and your effort is important, your competence is measured by outcomes, by what you can actually do, not how much you've tried.
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You can study and practice for hours and for days and for weeks.
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Then yes, you can say you've tried and you've put the effort in, but if you're not actually getting better, then there really isn't any progress.
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It doesn't mean that you're not cut out for it.
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It just means that you might need to change things up, try a different angle, learn from someone different, or explore new methods.
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Your effort is important.
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You cannot build confidence without it.
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But at the end of the day, competence is measured by what you can actually deliver.
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And so be mindful of that and to track your progress and measure results so that you can actually get better and not just stay busy.
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And so with all of that said, here's what I want you to take away from this.
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Competence isn't just about being good at something, it's about building a foundation that nobody can shake.
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That in itself holds so much value, but of course there's that additional layer of the social power that you gain from being so good that people cannot ignore you.
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It means that you go from chasing opportunities to opportunities finding you, maybe even chasing you.
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And so yes, being charming is great because it could get you into rooms and being likable can make that experience more pleasant, but competence is what will keep you in that room and it is what will make people actively seek you out.
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That said, I hope this episode encourages you to build something that you can be proud of and to master something that truly matters to you.
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If you're interested in exploring other charisma traits to build your signature charm.
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I've outlined everything in the charisma traits book that we recently launched.
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I put a lot of work into it and so I'm really excited to share it, but if not, the video episodes will always be available on this channel for your reference.
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Otherwise, that's it for today.
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Thank you for tuning in.
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I hope to see you in our next episode, and in the meantime, as always, stay hot.
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Bye!
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Why practice speaking with this video?
Engaging with the video titled "Charisma Of Competence" offers a unique opportunity for learners to enhance their English speaking practice. The concept of confidence as it relates to competence is not only intellectually stimulating but also provides a rich context for discussion and articulation in English. By immersing yourself in the video content, you can gain insights into both verbal and non-verbal communication, which will significantly bolster your own shadow speech skills. Additionally, as you mimic the speaker's phrases, you can effectively internalize idiomatic expressions that signify authority and accomplishment, which are crucial when presenting yourself in various social situations.
Grammar & Expressions in Context
In the video, several key structures and expressions are used that can benefit English learners:
- Comparison Structures: The speaker contrasts two types of confidence using phrases like “on one hand” and “on the other hand.” This structure is effective for forming arguments or presenting differing viewpoints.
- Direct Statements: Expressions such as “If she says she will do something, then it will get done” showcase a clear and assertive way to express determination. This kind of language can empower learners to articulate their commitments confidently.
- Conditional Sentences: The phrase “If you go to the gym and you work out consistently…” illustrates how conditional forms can be employed to establish cause and effect, a useful method for learners to express hypothetical situations.
- Qualifying Statements: Phrases like “when you know what you did to get there” highlight the importance of certainty and personal experience in making statements. This can encourage learners to share their own stories confidently.
Common Pronunciation Traps
Pay close attention to the following pronunciation hurdles in the video:
- Words with Silent Letters: The word “subtle” can trip up speakers due to its silent 'b'. Mastering such words is essential for clear communication.
- Intonation Patterns: The speaker’s intonation while emphasizing “earned confidence” versus “borrowed confidence” can change the meaning. Practice mimicking these patterns to convey the right emphasis in your own speech.
- Connected Speech: Many phrases are spoken quickly, which may lead to slurring, such as in “you know what you put in” becoming “ya know what you put in.” Using a shadowing app can help with this as you can practice speaking along with the video.
By focusing on these aspects while practicing English with YouTube videos, you’ll enhance both your speaking ability and your overall confidence in using the language.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.
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