Shadowing Practice: The Art of Suffering - Jordan Peterson Motivation - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

Life isn't fair, is it?

⏸ Paused

Speed:

260 sentences

If sentences are too short or too long, click Edit to adjust them.

Life isn't fair, is it?

Doesn't appear to be very fair.

Because I mean this is how your story ended it in that regard.

I don't know if an adventure is fair.

I don't even know if that's what we want.

What are we built for?

We're built for maximal challenge and that isn't the way we view ourselves in the modern world.

We view ourselves as built for pleasure.

We view ourselves as built for consumption or for safety or for maybe for egotistical self-aggrandizement and fame.

Those are, look, many, all of those things are better than their absence, let's say.

What are we built for?

I think we're built for maximal challenge.

Well, humility is starting where you are.

That's what humility is.

And it's annoying because, you know,

like if your life is a mess,

then you have to see that you're the person in that mess.

And then you have to understand

that your first attempt to redress the mess might not be something you're particularly proud of, you know?

I mean, I saw this lots in my clinical practice where people would,

the first steps they had to take to put things in order were pretty embarrassing.

It's like, really?

That's all I can do?

Hey, man, uphill is better than downhill.

Okay, so it lays out a view of the world.

Progress, regression.

So even if you have to start small, you accrue success exponentially.

You accrue defeat exponentially too.

That's the abyss that is hell.

You start going downhill, you go downhill faster and faster.

Start going uphill, you go uphill faster and faster.

So even if you have to start small or even painfully small,

which is highly probable, especially if you're trying to tackle something that's really plagued you,

it doesn't really matter.

What is self-belief in this context?

Because so many people are in search of two words,

I think that's three words, but self-belief and confidence.

Yeah.

And in this context of that small task,

task, how is that building my self-belief or confidence?

Yeah, well, because you watch yourself do it.

And that does what to me?

Well, look, if you see someone,

a friend, who is continually,

incrementally improving, you're going to, oh, that's admirable.

Well, you see the same thing in yourself.

You have to develop an opinion of yourself the same way you would develop an opinion of someone else.

So now, and I'm not hypothesizing about this,

by the way, we know this clinically.

If I want to truly help you build your confidence,

rather than merely readjusting the words you say about yourself,

which would be something like self-esteem,

which is something that doesn't even exist,

by the way, it's just a pathological concept altogether, you want confidence, okay?

to the point you want the confidence that's based in competence otherwise it's narcissistic okay

so how do you develop that well you watch yourself exceed your limits

and then you think oh look at that there's something in me

that can exceed my limits that's your true self that's a good way of thinking about it

and in doing so you actually realize that limits exist

and you imposed one on yourself in the first place well

that you that's one of the things you can realize certainly

that but that also you don't exactly know where the limits are.

It's like, oh, I exceeded that.

It's like, okay, well, now what?

What's the upward arc of exceeding limits?

That's Jacob's ladder.

I would say this is the promise of the kingdom of God.

That's one way of thinking about it.

There's no upward limit.

We're built to walk uphill.

and when you reach the pinnacle of the hill you want to stop

and appreciate the vision but the next thing you want is a higher hill in the distance

because it's the uphill climb that it's it's from the uphill climb

that we derive our value and I mean this technically

so almost all the positive emotion we feel especially the the the emotion

that fills us with enthusiasm

and that's to be filled with the Spirit of God by the way because that's what enthusiasm means

that's experienced in relationship to a goal.

You want a goal that you can never attain.

You want a horizon of ever-expanding possibility.

And so it does happen to people as they,

because they've staked their soul on the attainment of an instrumental goal.

And it can be a pretty high order goal,

it was in your case.

But then you think, well I've,

now I'm there, now what?

Well the answer can't be,

well I'm going to live in the lap of luxury

and never have to leave the faith what do you want

to be a giant infant with a gold with a gold bottle you never have to do anything

but lay in your back and suck it's like well you see the problem with

that as a as a as a conceptualization it's no you

want to be like an active warrior moving uphill with your sword in hand

and that's that's dynamic that's exciting and that's why so many young men disappear into video games.

That's all acted out in the video game.

So, they have to act that out in their own life.

Not that I despise video games,

because I don't, but they're not a substitute for life.

We kind of experience life as if we're tossed into it,

100

thrown into it, you know,

101

you're male and not female,

102

you're Hindu and not Christian,

103

you're tall and not short,

104

you have an arbitrary range of talents and an arbitrary range of limitations,

105

none of which in some sense you chose.

106

It's the cards you're dealt.

107

Now some of those are cards of privilege.

108

Now maybe you're born intelligent,

109

maybe you're born symmetrical, maybe you're born healthy,

110

maybe you're born into a culture where it's much easier not to be absolutely deprived.

111

Maybe your parents are rich and so all of that in some sense is unearned.

112

The way you pay for your privileges with your virtue.

113

I mean that most particularly.

114

You have these opportunities and this existential guilt and the way you expiate

115

that and atone is by doing your best to live the best possible life you can manage.

116

To speak the truth, to treat people with respect,

117

to abide by the principles of the dignity of the individual and to put your house in order.

118

And that's how you pay for your un-earned privilege.

119

All of us.

120

And we all have our privileges and our curses.

121

You know, all of us have that.

122

That's why it's not useful to be envious of people.

123

You know, you see some,

124

you're a young man, you see someone drive by in a Ferrari with a blonde and you think,

125

my God, he's got everything.

126

And you know, the woman in the car is a prostitute who's got a cocaine addiction

127

and her life is just one catastrophe after another.

128

And he's had to lie and cheat his way into this position

129

and he's afraid that everything's going to come crashing down on him and that's what you're jealous of.

130

And it's just not that profound.

131

You don't want someone else's fate.

132

Man, your fate's enough and your adventure's enough.

133

It's plenty.

134

It's more than you can ever fully realize.

135

And so that's also part of the reason that we all believe that the individual has some intrinsic dignity.

136

It's don't be so sure that your position and your room is

137

so damn trivial might be your attitude towards it, it's trivial.

138

And if you're in dire straits and dire circumstances,

139

just look at how much opportunity you have to make things better.

140

So, not that it's easy.

141

You don't even want it to be easy.

142

Well, you need to contemplate your own malevolence because that helps you understand

143

who you are and who you could be

144

and you could be something absolutely brutal and terrible

145

so you need to contemplate your own malevolence so

146

that you understand who you are and

147

that means you have to contemplate malevolence as such

148

because you're not only who you are you're who you could be for better or worse

149

and i actually think it's i think it's a lot easier to start to understand who you could be

150

if you were better if you deeply understand who you could be if you were worse

151

and who you might be to the degree that you're blind to

152

that worse presently so you think oh my god i could be

153

that malevolent a force for ill that's horrible but highly compelling

154

and plausible given my understanding of my own character i'm way

155

deeper on the negative end than i thought much more closely

156

aligned with the forces of hell than i presumed that's easy

157

to swallow factually right you think yeah there's evidence for

158

that it's not so easy to swallow emotionally it's it's a bitter pill to say the least

159

and so i don't think

160

that you can contemplate the good without contemplating the evil first

161

i don't think it has the depth you know they say

162

that fear of god is the beginning of wisdom it's it's something like

163

that necessary fear it's like well i don't want to be

164

a monster okay well how much of a monster are you i'm as monstrous as i have been

165

so that's on me conscience-wise

166

but like i'm also the same being that's been as monstrous

167

as any being throughout history nothing human is foreign to me

168

lots of my clients my clinical clients are too agreeable

169

and um they're generally women because women are more agreeable than men

170

but not always because i've had agreeable men as clients as well

171

and what happens is they're resentful and

172

and they don't know how to stand up for themselves and it's because they're very compassionate by nature and so

173

If you're entering into a negotiation with them, they'll let you win.

174

Well, that's not so good because,

175

you know, you need to win too.

176

Especially if you're in an organization of adults where there's a struggle, right?

177

When you have kids, you can let them win, especially infants.

178

You have to let them win,

179

and that's partly why compassion is so necessary.

180

But as a basis for negotiation between adults,

181

it's like, sorry, it's insufficient.

182

You have to be a bit of a monster so that you can say no. Well,

183

let's toughen you up.

184

Let's put you in a position where you can bargain.

185

Let's teach you how to assert yourself and stand up for yourself.

186

And that's assertiveness training.

187

And it's a huge chunk of psychotherapy.

188

And you need to learn it.

189

It's like, because part of how you regulate your interactions with other people is to negotiate.

190

And you cannot negotiate unless you can say no. You can't do it.

191

And it causes conflict to say no. And if you don't like conflict,

192

which is basically the definition of being agreeable,

193

then you can't tolerate the conflict and

194

so then you can't negotiate on your own behalf and

195

so then you keep losing and you're bullied

196

and you know it's it's not good then you get resentful

197

and and it's really not good

198

so you have to develop your inner monster a little bit and and then that makes makes you a better person,

199

not a worse person.

200

It's weird.

201

It's weird, but that's just how it is.

202

If you've been victimized, you're naive and you've been victimized,

203

the way out of that is to no longer be naive and to no longer be victimized.

204

And that means that you see this reflected in the Harry Potter idea,

205

for example, that the reason that Harry Potter can withstand Voldemort is because he's got a piece of him.

206

already is being touched by it.

207

And the way that you keep the psychopaths at bay is to develop the inner psychopaths

208

so that you know one when you see one.

209

But that's a voluntary thing.

210

So it's like a set of tools that you have at your disposal,

211

which is full knowledge of evil.

212

And there's this old idea that if you look into the darkness enough,

213

you'll find something that compensates for it, right?

214

And that emerges out of the darkness that's greater

215

and more powerful than the darkness and

216

that part part of the looking into the dark side of you yourself is you find the power

217

that enables you to deal with mortality if they've been coddled

218

and their ambition has been squelched

219

and everything about them that's aggressive has been shamed out of existence that's part of

220

that attraction of that dark fantasy right and then they see

221

that aggression manifesting itself and in a creative form it's not surprising

222

that they're going to try to imitate that it's part of

223

that desire to bring that shadow out of the shadows and into the light

224

there's two pathways to the development of the shadow and they're tightly allied with one another

225

the fundamental pathway is truth and that's to face the bitter truth about yourself

226

but to break that down more particularly you might think about

227

that as the capacity to observe your own resentment you're going to be resentful

228

and bitter in many situations because you don't get what you want

229

and if you watch that resentment bitterness you'll see

230

that it produces fantasies that can be unbelievably dark and

231

that can be very frightening and you might not want to admit to yourself

232

that you're actually capable of having fantasies like that or impulses like

233

that or aggressive feelings like that but the thing is is

234

that if those aggressive feelings and impulses

235

and fantasies are integrated into your character it's like you're opening up a dialogue with a part of yourself

236

that can be very forceful and strong and dangerous

237

and it's really useful to be dangerous because if you can

238

if you can be dangerous you often don't have to be you know

239

or you're oppressing yourself then you got to notice

240

that you're feeling oppressed then you have to notice

241

that you're feeling resentful resentful and and angry and bitter

242

and then you have to decide what it is

243

that you need to do in order to remove from yourself

244

that bitterness and that's usually means that that there's something that you have to say.

245

And then you have to say it because your soul depends on it.

246

And not only does your soul depend on it,

247

I would say the fate of the world depends on it.

248

Because, you know, you might be wrong,

249

and then you should be straightened out.

250

Maybe you're just being whiny,

251

and you have to talk to somebody about that.

252

But it may be that you're actually detecting something wrong,

253

some tyranny that's directed towards you and other people,

254

and it's like your moral obligation to speak up about it.

255

And so many workplaces become toxic,

256

to use a terrible cliché,

257

Because the people in them won't speak up for what they actually want

258

or they speak up too late and then they're all

259

Twisted up about it and and you know They're torturing other people

260

because they're so unhappy and so forth and so on so Practical approach for developing in shadow fundamentally is radical honesty

TRENDING

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.

☕ Buy us a coffee

ShadowingEnglish remains 100% free thanks to your support. Server and AI costs are high — your coffee keeps us going! 🙏

Donate via PayPal

ShadowingEnglish.com – English Shadowing Practice

Speak English fluently using the Shadowing technique. Listen to native YouTube videos, repeat sentence by sentence, and build real pronunciation and fluency — used by IELTS learners worldwide.

Shadowing Practice: The Art of Suffering - Jordan Peterson Motivation - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

Popular

About This Lesson

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

Practice Tips

What is the Shadowing Technique?

Shadowing Practice: The Art of Suffering - Jordan Peterson Motivation - Learn English Speaking with YouTube

Download App

About This Lesson

Key Vocabulary & Phrases

Practice Tips

What is the Shadowing Technique?