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The Wild Iris.

At the end of my suffering there was a door.

Hear me out.

That which you call death I remember.

Overhead noises, branches of the pine shifting.

Then nothing.

The weak sun flickered over the dry surface.

It is terrible to survive as consciousness buried in the dark earth.

Then it was over.

That which you fear, being a soul and unable to speak, ending abruptly, the stiff earth bending a little,

and what I took to be birds darting in low shrubs.

You who do not remember passage from the other world, I tell you I could speak again.

Whatever returns from oblivion returns to find a voice.

From the center of my life came a great fountain, deep blue shadows on azure seawater.

So that was Louise Gluck and

if you've not heard of Louise Gluck she is an American poet

and essayist and has also won the Nobel Prize in 2020 I think.

She was born in 1943 and And that poem was called, or is called, The Wild Iris.

And today we're going to be talking about becoming yourself is more important than preserving yourself.

And what do I mean by this?

I guess I mean that becoming yourself is about learning who you actually are below the surface,

not just what we see externally or aesthetically this isn't about like finding an aesthetic

or finding you know your kind of brand or anything like

that this is about something a bit deeper um

and i think those other things i've spoken about actually often are more concerned about self -preservation

and um being able to neatly define who you are

which i think is kind of um an impossible task to do

and we'll get into why

but uh i have a few different things i want to talk about today

so it's louise gluck i want to talk about richard powers the over story

and i've also been learning a bit about some buddhist teachings

that i think are relevant

and tie all of this together in the the wild iris um

it's spoken from the perspective of a flower bulb frozen in the earth a bulb that's buried and

when she says the line

it is terrible to survive as consciousness buried in the dark earth

this is really touching on the notion of existing without growth it's being preserved

but it's not really being allowed to exist

and as always I keep looking down because I'm actually checking out my notes

because I've written about the the poem itself and I've written some quotes

that I've wanted to specifically bring up to you guys

so the bulb is technically alive it is preserved

but it's stuck in it's trapped almost actually in a pitch black stasis

and this self -preservation is more about being driven by fear than anything else.

On the surface it may feel safe preserving yourself in such a way

but keeping your consciousness preserved in order to stop any kind of injury

or mistake happening is an incredibly suffocating way to exist.

This is just, I would argue, a version of surviving and surviving is not the same as existing and really living.

And then the next few things, few lines that she says that I've written,

then it was over that which you fear being unable to speak ending abruptly the stiff earth bending a little.

And then what I've said about this is that

so the exact moment the flower breaks through the the bending as they put

it it breaks through its hard protective shell which is the winter earth and i think here it kind of highlights that

Growth requires a very structural disruption, a shattering of the rigid walls that we would call the self,

the wall that we build around us to preserve a version of identity.

But the rupture itself is what actually ends the fear of being small or not having a voice.

The rupture is actually the next steps in having that voice, in not being small.

And then the next lines, I tell you I could speak again, whatever returns from oblivion returns to find a voice.

The iris returns from oblivion to actually reclaim its expression in the world, to become.

And actually I think in this sense

that the kind of idea of self -actualization demands in fact

that you face the risk of a total kind of breakdown of the former self

or of oblivion because you cannot really find an authentic voice if you're trying to shield yourself from finding it.

And then the last line of the poem

and one I've written down again is from the center of

my life came a great fountain deep blue shadows on azure sea water

and the blossoming of the iris is really an expansive version of beauty

it's outward reaching it's the acceptance of a change that caused this

and it's also the ability to allow yourself to be vulnerable

which is obviously very something that's quite difficult to to do but before we go any further,

I just want to thank MUBI who are the sponsor of this video.

And MUBI has really become the place I go to to find deep and meaningful films that really stay with me.

MUBI is a curated streaming service dedicated to great cinema from

all across the globe where it really feels like the films have been chosen by someone who genuinely loves film.

And a film I actually watched recently that's really stuck with me is the film

Sentimental Value which is on Mubi

and it follows these two sisters whose lives become disrupted

when their kind of evasive father returns into their lives

and in the movie he's a celebrated film director

and he is trying to make a film actually about the meaning of family and the meaning of his family.

It becomes this really grief -stricken piece of work that really ties kind of art,

memory, family history and all the kind of shared trauma family members inherit from one another.

And my favourite part actually was the very beginning where

The film opens with a young girl, one of the daughters, one of the sisters, thinking about the perspective of the house

and how the house might have seen the family

and the house's perspective on having occupants inside it

and actually I do want to read you the first part because it really really touched me.

In sixth grade, Nora was told to write an essay as if she was an object.

She knew at once she'd be their house.

She described how its belly shook as she and her sister ran downstairs and out the back door.

That it saw them take the shortcut through the fence and onto the road, where the house no longer could see them.

She wondered if the house liked to be empty and light, or full and heavy.

If the floors liked being trodden on.

If the walls were ticklish.

if it ever felt pain, and she thought that yes, it probably liked to be full.

Before them, other people and pets had lived their moments in time there.

Her great -grandfather died in the room where her grandmother was born, which was now her parents' bedroom.

Their father said the house had a floor, discovered right after it was finished a century ago.

She wrote that it was as if the house was sinking, collapsing, only in very slow motion,

100

and that her family's time there was just a split second in mid -air.

101

When she read it later, she saw that she hadn't used the word quarrel, but wrote of the noise her parents made.

102

But what the house disliked more than noise was silence.

103

When her father left for good, the house grew lighter.

104

The noise her parents made went away, but the house missed the other sounds he made.

105

Definitely recommend checking out MUBI.

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It's really introduced me to films

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that I would have found really difficult to find otherwise

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and you can get 30 days of free great cinema at MUBI .com slash Josephine Writes

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and I've left the link and everything in the description below if you'd like to take a look.

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I highly recommend and thank you so much MUBI for sponsoring this video.

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Buddhist teachings in general assert that there's no fixed self to preserve in the very first place.

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There is just this kind of illusion of a fixed self

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and this illusion of the fixed self kind of forces one into the fear of self -preservation,

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the fear that one will lose the self if they don't preserve it.

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And there are five shifting aggregates and they fuel the flow of becoming

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which in buddhism is called anatta and i'm really sorry

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if i've pronounced it wrong i will write what i'm kind of talking about on screen

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so you can look up the word if you like yourself

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and see what i'm actually talking about

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but in essence anatta kind of means the non -self the idea

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that there is kind of no permanent self there is no unchanging self there is only a becoming a changing

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and in english language for example the word me is almost just a representation

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or a way of expressing these five shifting elements

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that we call me um so these five just the sorry these five shifting elements are body feelings,

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perception, mental formations and then consciousness.

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But the real self which is the non -self is just more of this flow,

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a flow with the natural impermanence of life and

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so the name obviously we just give to these shifting parts is me

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or I or the self

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but really I would almost think of this like a river how we call a river a river um

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but actually also in some cultures a river is um a verb as opposed to a noun

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which is more of a doing thing rather than a fixed entity

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and what i mean by this is

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that um a river we we call it a river

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but really it's it's never the same thing because the water

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that flows through the river is it could never be the

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same element of water ever again like you cannot catch the same piece of water again

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and that's kind of how life works

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and how the self works in the eyes of Buddhism

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and I feel like this idea resonates with me personally

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and then I was actually thinking like

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if we are to apply

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this kind of idea in the world in the Western world where like capitalism is dominant again

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I'm not like pro

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or against I'm just that's just what the world the Western world is kind of built upon

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so it's worth you know talking about it but

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if we are to talk about it um obviously anti -aging

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is a massive uh part of this kind of world

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we live in like we are told to preserve our youth

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because that is preserving beauty and that is preserving who we are

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when we are our most um productive almost our most um you know our highest level of self the self

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that can probably do the most in life you know

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because as you get older your body starts to decline in certain ways.

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I think that with this kind of buddhist teaching and then also

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when we are to think of the iris poem I think

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that we can obviously observe that the body is a temporary state

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and even within

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that the body is ever changing it's never one thing even within youth it's never one thing

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because you know when you're a teenager you have all these hormones

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and you're changing constantly and then

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when you go into your 20s you learn lots of new things

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you learn to live on your own you you know get a job

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that is perhaps a career

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and you learn there you meet new people like everything is always constantly changing like in a really simple way

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you know your hair grows and your nails grow

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and obviously being a teenager and being a child you your height changes but the actual clinging to maintain or preserve

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the self in any kind of way, that's the painful part.

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The painful part isn't actually necessarily the change, it's the idea that, or the hurtful part,

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the hurtful part mentally is the idea that you feel like you mustn't change

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because you are only worth something

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if you preserve a version of yourself that's more useful

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and then i i am someone who is obsessed with trees like whenever

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i i go for a walk every day

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and there's a lot of trees in my area

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and i always think how it's very strange

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that those trees have been sitting there for some of them hundreds of years

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and they've obviously seen things that or i've been around things that are like beyond my comprehension

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and they're just sitting there every single day waiting for me in their same spot

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and I find that really like endearing and it makes me feel less alone

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but anyway that's just my sentimental view on trees but

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when I think of a tree a tree has this beauty

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and that is not because it's flawless it's actually

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because it has signs of life it has signs

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that it has lived and that's actually what makes it beautiful

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and it's not beautiful in a vain sense it's beautiful in a truthful sense

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and you know like when you cut through a tree

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and you see the rings on the tree they can they tell a story the rings

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that are perhaps larger I think means you know maybe it was a better better weather -wise year

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and the rings are smaller perhaps it was a more difficult year

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and so these rings actually tell us the story

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and the tree sheds its leaves without fear and without grief

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and it knows it's still a tree with or without its leaves

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or with a changed leaf colour like from you know green in the summer to auburn

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and orange in the autumn to completely falling off in the winter and then turning to blossoms,

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white and pink blossoms in the spring and it's okay with these changes.

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It's not grieving itself, it's just being.

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And I don't want this to be confused with being passive in life because I'm not saying to be,

198

I don't think any of these kind of poems or readings or anything are actually saying to be passive.

199

I think they're just saying that there are some things

200

that we can choose and there are other things we can't choose

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and one of the things we cannot choose is the fact

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that life is almost yet continuous change so to accept that

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and go with the flow of that and within

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that make decisions where we can but also even these decisions might change us

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but be okay with that change

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because you underneath the foundation just like a tree the roots are there

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if you make sure

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that you know you are not just obsessing over very aesthetic surface level issues as as opposed to like you know depth.

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The tree's roots are really where it stems from and the leaves are just passing parts of the tree.

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But because I've been thinking about trees and change I have started reading

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The Overstory by Richard Powers.

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It's a really really beautiful book um it's kind of fable -like

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and it follows nine I think different narratives

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that all um are tied together

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when a kind of natural catastrophe sort of ties them together it talks a lot about um trees

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and their importance and their perspective um

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and there's this one quote I kind of wanted to talk about here um it's kind of long

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but it goes the Greeks had a word Xenia Guest Friendship A command to take care of travelling strangers

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To open your door to whoever is out there

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Because anyone passing by far from home might be God

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Ovid tells the story of two immortals who came to earth in disguise to cleanse the sickened world

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No one would let them in But one old couple Borsis and Philemon did,

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and their reward for opening their door to strangers was to live an afterlife as a tree, an oak and a linden.

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huge and gracious and intertwined what we care for we will grow to resemble

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and what we resemble will hold us

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when we are us no longer i think that's a really beautiful little um tale there

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and um exenia i think is an ancient greek word for

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or law an ancient law of hospitality again correct me

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if i'm wrong there but when i looked up that's what that's what it means

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and there are particular parts that i want to talk about here

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which is when it says anyone passing by from home might be god far from home might be god

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and i've actually written here that knocking locking oneself in

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and locking the world out could stop you from something really profound happening to you something a lesson

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that is required or will touch you in a way

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that you you cannot imagine and i just love the idea

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that the the words itself it might be god

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and then the other parts i've also highlighted are

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that they become obviously an oak and a linden tree huge gracious

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and intertwined and so obviously yes they become trees

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which is their reward and then what we care for we will grow to resemble

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and what we resemble will hold up will hold us

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when we are us no longer such a lovely line um

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and i think this is kind of like allowing yourself to be changed by the things you care about

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and i think this is like is kind of the whole

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sentiment of this video here really rather than caring about very vain

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or shallow things which you know is that something you would like to resemble

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or would you rather rather than being hollow

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and fragile would you rather spend your life caring about your caring about art caring about ideas

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and nature and other people and the world

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and actually become to resemble these things that you have shown

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and poured love and care into like the tree will be rooted

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and expansive and layered and textured because I guess the real question is like

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when the physical facade begins to fade

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or change um annoyingly I think we would say fade

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but like I don't think age is fading

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I think age is just change what is left though to hold you

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and then I've written here is it the love you gave the wisdom you gathered the empathy you learnt

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and the roots you planted

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and from this like living on in the ecosystem of the lives we've touched can be achieved um

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and actually um this really makes me think of the artwork by Anna Mendieta.

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Her work is photographed but actually the work itself

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which was a lot of them were these kind of figures in the ground

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that had either been scorched with flames or

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flowers had been allowed to grow in them

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or waves had been allowed to tumble over these marked figures in the ground

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and they were allowed to change to to be

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and also to return back to the earth this cycle

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which is okay and i find that kind of comforting

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so i i don't know

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if this has been uh cohesive

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i feel like it's been such a long time since i've sort of made an essay like this

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and kind of put all my ideas together but I really hope

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that it's made you have a think about kind of these kind of almost vain pursuits of preservation

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and also harmful and fear -induced pursuits as opposed to kind of working on an inner self

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that you know you always have and will create like depth

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and layer and layers and it's okay you know for change for aging for

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that process to happen

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and in fact it's a privilege wow i sound really preachy

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that's not my intention um i just i feel passionate about it um

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so yeah finding beauty in every stage of life

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and even i suppose in in death and new life yes

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so anyway thank you so much for watching um i'm going to try

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and get back on the videos again

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because i am feeling a bit better i think thankfully um

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and i think this will also be on spotify um again thank you

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so much for sponsoring this video and i will see you all again next time

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FOR YOU

Лексика и советы по произношению к этому уроку

Этот урок разговорной практики построен на видео «Becoming Yourself Is More Important Than Preserving Yourself». В этом видео 286 предложений и 3508 слов для шедоуинга. Речь длится 24:58. Говорящий держит ровный темп — около 140 слов в минуту, удобный для шедоуинга. 84% слов входят в 3000 самых частых слов английского языка; остальные стоит разобрать перед занятием.

Ключевая лексика этого видео

15 слов из видео, которые стоит выучить, с произношением и значением:

Слово	Произношение	Значение
preserve глагол	/pɹəˈzɝv/	защища́ть, защити́ть
iris существительное	/ˈaɪ.ɹɪs/	и́рис, каса́тик
resemble глагол	/ɹɪˈzɛmbəl/	походи́ть, напомина́ть
poem существительное	/ˈpoʊ.əm/	стихи́, стихотворе́ние
consciousness существительное	/ˈkɑnʃəsnəs/	созна́ние, созна́тельность
preservation существительное	/ˌpɹɛz.əˈveɪ.ʃən/	сохране́ние
bend глагол	/bɛnd/	сгиба́ть, изгиба́ть
sponsor существительное	/ˈspɒn.səː/	поручи́тель, поручи́тельница
bury глагол	/ˈbɛɹi/	зарыва́ть, зары́ть
fade глагол	/feɪd/	вя́нуть, увяда́ть
vain прилагательное	/veɪn/	тщесла́вный, показно́й
bulb существительное	/ˈbʌlb/	лу́ковица
blossom глагол	/ˈblɑ.səm/	цвести́, расцвета́ть
shadow существительное	/ˈʃædəʊ̯/	тень
flower существительное	/ˈfloʊɚ/	цвето́к, цветы́

Фразовые глаголы, которые вы услышите

Слово	Произношение	Значение
check out глагол		проверя́ть, прове́рить
look up глагол	/ˌlʊk ˈʌp/	улучша́ться
go away глагол		уходи́ть, уйти́
hold up глагол		задерживать, ждать
write down глагол		запи́сывать, записа́ть

Грамматика в этом видео

Конструкции, которые говорящий использует чаще всего, с точными словами из видео:

Конструкция	В видео
Present Perfect Continuous have/has been + -ing — действие началось раньше и продолжается	i've also been learning · have been sitting · I've been thinking
Present Perfect have/has + причастие прошедшего времени — прошлое действие, важное сейчас	you've not heard · has also won · i've spoken
Пассивный залог be + причастие прошедшего времени — важно, что происходит, а не кто это делает	was born · being preserved · being allowed
Придаточные определительные who / which + предложение — уточнение о человеке или предмете	shell which is · someone who genuinely · Value which is

Произношение, на которое стоит обратить внимание

Говорящий использует 47 сокращённых и редуцированных форм, например I've, I'm, don't. Произносите их коротко, так, как слышите.

Звуки «th»: aesthetic /ɛsˈθɛ.tɪk/, sixth /sɪksθ/, gather /ˈɡæðɚ/, grandfather /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌfɑðɚ/, grandmother /ˈɡɹæn(d)ˌmʌðɚ/
Звуки «sh» и «zh»: consciousness /ˈkɑnʃəsnəs/, preservation /ˌpɹɛz.əˈveɪ.ʃən/, shadow /ˈʃædəʊ̯/, illusion /ɪˈl(j)uːʒ(ə)n/, gracious /ˈɡɹeɪʃəs/
Длинные слова — следите за ударением: preservation /ˌpɹɛz.əˈveɪ.ʃən/, necessarily /ˌnɛs.əˈsɛɹ.ə.li/, temporary /ˈtɛmp(əˌɹ)ɛɹi/, incredibly /ɪŋˈkɹɛdɪbli/, representation /ˌɹɛp.ɹə.zɛnˈteɪ.ʃən/

Звуки, трудные для русскоязычных:

/w/ — губы округлены, это не /v/: reward /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/, wisdom /ˈwɪzdəm/, artwork /ˈɑɹtˌwɝk/, outward /ˈaʊt.wɚd/, intertwine /ˌɪntəɹˈtwaɪn/
/h/ — лёгкий выдох, а не русское «х»: highlight /ˈhaɪˌlaɪt/, whoever /huˈɛvɚ/, harmful /ˈhɑɹmfl̩/, hollow /ˈhɑloʊ/, overhead /ˈəʊvəˌhɛd/
Звонкие согласные в конце слова — не оглушайте их: preserve /pɹəˈzɝv/, bend /bɛnd/, fade /feɪd/, bulb /ˈbʌlb/, reward /ɹɪˈwɔɹd/

Как заниматься с этим видео

Прослушайте всё видео один раз молча и выпишите незнакомые слова.
Повторяйте предложение за предложением на обычной скорости, пока ваш ритм не совпадёт с ритмом говорящего.
Запишите себя и сравните с оригиналом, обращая внимание на такие слова, как preserve, iris, resemble.

Что такое техника Shadowing?

Shadowing — это научно обоснованная техника изучения языка, изначально разработанная для подготовки профессиональных переводчиков и популяризированная полиглотом доктором Александром Аргуэльесом. Метод прост, но эффективен: вы слушаете аудио на английском от носителей языка и немедленно повторяете вслух — как тень, следующая за говорящим с задержкой в 1–2 секунды. В отличие от пассивного прослушивания или грамматических упражнений, Shadowing заставляет мозг и мышцы рта одновременно обрабатывать и воспроизводить реальные речевые паттерны. Исследования показывают, что это значительно улучшает точность произношения, интонацию, ритм, связную речь, понимание на слух и беглость речи — что делает его одним из самых эффективных методов для подготовки к IELTS Speaking и реального общения на английском.

Техника шедоуинга: читать полное пошаговое руководство →

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