Практика Shadowing: Feeding, Dressing, Washing And Putting Kids To Bed Is A Never Ending Battle! | Michael McIntyre - Изучайте разговорный английский с YouTube
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Family people in tonight, who's got children?
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Family people in tonight, who's got children?
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Round of applause, you've got children?
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There are basics that you have to do every single day when raising children,
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and these are feeding them.
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You have to feed them.
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This is probably news for nobody.
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You have to feed them,
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you have to dress them, okay?
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You have to wash them,
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and you have to put them to bed.
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You have to do these four things every single day.
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Now, every single day, each one of these things is a battle.
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They are reluctant to do these things and you are forced every day to compromise on each of them.
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I don't know why they resist these basic things.
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Every day is a battle.
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Just getting dressed.
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They will not get dressed.
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Put your clothes on.
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Put your pants on.
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They refuse to wear pants.
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I don't like pants.
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They're uncomfortable.
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I don't like pants.
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Put your jumper on.
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I'm boiling.
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I'm boiling.
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They're always boiling.
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I'm boiling!
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Yes, that's because I've heated the inside of the house,
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but what I haven't done is heated the rest of the world!
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So you will need it when you get outside.
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Can I just take it?
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So you just compromise.
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All right, fine.
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Just take it.
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Do your laces.
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Can I do it in the car?
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Fine!
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Do it in the car!
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Where's your bag?
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Where's your other shoe?
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And they spring things on you at the last minute.
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The other day we were going to school,
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we're nearly out the door.
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My son's not quite well, actually.
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He's got his pants on,
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he's even got his jumper on,
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He's holding his coat, he's got his bag.
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We're nearly out the door.
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He just looks at me and goes, Dad, it's Roman day.
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What's Roman day?
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Everybody has to go to school today dressed as something from the Roman Empire.
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You're supposed to be at school in six minutes.
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What exactly did you expect me to do at this point?
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Oh, yes, when I was nine, I was a centurion.
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I think I still have my armour here in the cupboard.
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Let's not drive this morning,
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I've been hiding a horse and chariot in the garage.
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I'll arrive in style.
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Feeding.
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They will eat.
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Children will eat.
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They will eat rubbish.
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They'll eat garbage.
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They'll eat chocolate and sweets and ice cream till they're sick.
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What they won't eat is things that are good for them.
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We're trying to get them to eat vegetables,
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fruit, things in the good room.
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We aim very high, my wife and I, every single meal time.
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All right, tonight.
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There will be no ice cream,
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children, unless you have all your peas,
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all your broccoli, and all your carrots.
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But, Dad, please, it's disgusting.
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Please don't make me eat that.
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Please, it's just disgusting.
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Please, Dad, you can't force us.
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You can't force us.
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It's disgusting.
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All right?
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Fine!
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I just want you to eat one carrot,
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five peas, and this floret of broccoli.
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But that is disgusting, please don't mean you hear that, please!
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You can't force me, I hate it!
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I hate it!
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I'm fine!
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Just stick out your tongue and let me wipe the broccoli across your face.
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And then can I have ice cream?
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Yes!
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Washing every day, run the bath,
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get in the bath, have you washed?
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Have you brushed your teeth?
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They lie to you, they lie to my face every single day.
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Have you brushed your teeth?
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Yes.
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Okay, then breathe on me.
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I have to get this jet of disgusting...
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You haven't brushed your teeth, have you?
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No, I haven't, Daddy.
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But why didn't you say that?
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The laziness.
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Oh, and flush the.. you know...
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Before I had children, I used to dream about what it was like.
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My wife and I would discuss it.
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I can't wait to have children.
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It's going to be amazing.
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You'll be such an amazing mum.
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I used to dream of idyllic,
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rosy-cheeked, beautiful children in dungarees,
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running in fields, picking flowers.
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Can we have our picnic now?
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Can we have our picnic?
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How did that fantasy become me,
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almost on a nightly basis,
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standing over the toilet going, Whose poo is this?
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Lucas!
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Is that your poo?
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He puts on this whole facade,
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he actually comes over and looks in the mood.
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No, that's not my poo.
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So Ozzy, it's your poo.
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That is definitely not my poo.
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Darling, don't you even.
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Oh, hair wash night.
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I don't know how much you're supposed to wash your children's hair,
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but I've got it down to about once a fortnight now because of the drama.
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Hair wash night.
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No, Daddy, please.
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Can we do it tomorrow?
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Daddy, can we do it tomorrow?
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We'll do it tomorrow.
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It's going to go on my eyes.
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It's going to go on my eyes.
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Put your head back.
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You have to hold the flannel.
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They shake and...
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It's going to go on my eyes.
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Is it for it?
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Is it for it?
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God forbid, the shampoo actually goes a little bit in the eye.
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AHHHHHHH!
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AHHHHHH!
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I need a towel!
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I need a towel!
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AHHHHH!
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Oh!
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Oh!
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Why would you do that, siblings?
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For God's sake, I'm just trying to wash your hair.
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Bedtime, oh, bedtime, it's bedtime, go to bed.
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Can I have a story?
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Can I have a story?
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The last thing you want to do at the end of a day of battles is read a nonsense, stupid story.
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I don't know if you do this,
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but I will scan the bookshelf for the shortest book that we own.
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My son's always like, can we read The Hobbit?
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No. I thought we could read this leaflet that came through the door.
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It's for a local pizzeria.
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You see there's a deal on it.
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Now, goodnight.
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Come on, darling.
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This is what it is like.
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It is a battle.
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It is a daily battle every single day to do the basics.
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There isn't a child on Earth who has ever not battled these things.
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There's no kid in the history of children who's ever just gone,
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Mum, Dad, listen, I'm exhausted tonight.
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I'm just going to head up to bed, I think.
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I managed to squeeze a shower in earlier,
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Mum, while you were cooking that amazing dinner.
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I don't know what you did with the broccoli.
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Was it something different?
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Because for me, it could have been a meal all unto itself.
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Magnificent.
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I didn't tell you guys it was Roman Day tomorrow,
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because I wanted to surprise you with the outfit that I've made.
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You're going to love it.
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I'll see you by the door at about 5 to 8 in my shoes and pants,
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and I'm going to wear my coat, because you never know.
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I mean, it is quite chilly out there.
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Oh, and...
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Minty for Ash.
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But that's never gonna happen.
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That's a fantasy.
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That's a fantasy.
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В видео "Feeding, Dressing, Washing And Putting Kids To Bed Is A Never Ending Battle!" комик Майкл Макинтайр делится своими смешными переживаниями о повседневной жизни с детьми. Он освещает основы родительских обязанностей, включая кормление, одевание, мытье и укладывание детей спать. Эти кажущиеся простыми задачи становятся настоящими испытаниями, и каждое из них требует компромисса, что делает повседневную жизнь родителей весьма занимательной.
5 самых важных фраз для повседневного общения
- Put your clothes on. - Надень свою одежду.
- I don't like pants. - Мне не нравятся штаны.
- I'm boiling! - Мне жарко!
- Do your laces. - Завяжи шнурки.
- Where’s your bag? - Где твоя сумка?
Эти фразы являются основными в повседневной родительской жизни и могут быть полезными для изучающих английский язык через учить английский с YouTube. Они помогают понять, как общаться и взаимодействовать с детьми.
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