ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: BEST OF THE INBETWEENERS | Funniest Moments from Series 3

Can somebody call me an ambulance because I'm in trouble?

Time is moving really, really slowly and everything is flat.

I need you to call me an ambulance or failing that, my mummy.

I really want my mummy because, and I'm not being dramatic, I'm sick, but I think I might be dead.

I'm putting you in charge of collecting the money for tomorrow's fashion show.

The last time they had a collection for charity, nearly half the money went missing, and then the organisers started turning up in new trainers.

Well, sir, whilst I'm really pleased that you think I'm trustworthy enough to...

Oh, it's not that.

I just know that if anything did happen, I could break you.

Right.

Well, the thing is, I object to the fashion show on a moral level.

It's not about raising money.

It's a popularity parade.

It's just the self-elected attractive people using charities as an excuse to show off.

Well, this is a first.

As it happens, Mackenzie, I agree with you.

You do?

Yes.

Great.

So you understand why I'd rather not compromise my principles?

Yes, I do.

Totally.

Unfortunately for you, it's not the First World War.

You can't conscientiously object.

So you either collect the money or it's detention, starting now and continuing indefinitely.

Definitely.

But you said you agreed with me.

Yes, I know.

It's a tricky one, isn't it?

You know your testicles sticking out?

What?

Is that why everyone was laughing?

Oh, God, do you think people saw?

Yes.

It was eye level for most of the audience.

Oh, God, no!

No!

I suppose you thought that was funny, did you?

Well, your little jokes got you in a lot of trouble.

Honestly, it wasn't a joke.

No. There is nothing funny about testicles, Cooper, as you'll discover tomorrow in my office.

What?

Sorry sir, that sounds a bit weird.

No it didn't.

Sorry, I think I need to get some air.

I felt really faint.

Fuck off!

He's scared of blood!

Oh dear.

You want me to show that again?

No, no, it's alright.

You never forget.

It's like riding a bike, innit?

Oh, you would if you could, though.

What?

Suck yourself off.

That's not what I meant.

Yeah, but I bet you've tried it.

We all have.

I managed to lick the tip once, but it took a lot of stretching.

Twice a day for a couple of weeks.

Well, thanks for sharing, Neil.

What did you say?

Nothing.

Right, a week's after school detention for both of you.

Oh, what?

Two weeks.

Ah, come on, sir.

Three weeks?

But, sir, I...

Four weeks detention?

Starting tonight.

See you later.

Oh, fucking hell.

What are you eating?

The NME.

I hate it.

It's always wrong.

It's basically shit.

Still doesn't stop me buying it every week.

Right, every week?

Yep.

So you buy it every week?

Yeah.

Not every week, though.

Yes, every week.

So every week?

Are you broken?

I was supposed to be modelling with Paul Keenan, but he got so nervous he drank a bottle of vodka and passed out in the staff toilets.

Please, will you take his place?

Me?

Er...

He won't do it.

He thinks it's exclusive vanity.

Right.

No, he's talking shit.

It's the painkillers.

Of course I'll do it.

Great!

100

What?!

101

You hypocrite!

102

Okay, right, you.

103

Time for sleep.

104

Don't touch me!

105

Don't touch me!

106

Is he okay?

107

Yeah, he's fine.

108

He gets very grumpy when he's tired.

109

Wait a minute.

110

Is that my fold-up table on the fire? And my picnic basket!

111

I thought you said look for stuff to burn.

112

What?!

113

Burn fucking woods, not my stuff?!

114

Do it there.

115

Do a dare.

116

Nah, he won't.

117

He's boring. So what?

118

If I eat...

119

this bonsai treat, I automatically become fun and interesting, do I?

120

Yes.

121

Fine.

122

Well, I'll eat it then, and we'll see.

123

Go on, then.

124

I will.

125

What are you doing?

126

The fire's going down.

127

Stop burning my things!

128

Guys, I'm going to bed, so can you try and keep it down, yeah?

129

What are you doing?

130

Question!

131

Two fingers!

132

I'm sorry, I was trying to satirise their bravado.

133

If you think about it, it worked.

134

You ate a bonsai tree?

135

As I'm sure you're aware, there's been a spate of vandalism recently, culminating in someone adapting the flower displayed by the main road so that it now reads,

136

We Come Tit Village.

137

Oh, you think that's funny, do you, Mackenzie?

138

Well, a bit?

139

Doesn't even make sense.

140

We come tit village?

141

What kind of morons would do that?

142

I think you know exactly who did it.

143

What?

144

I don't know, sir.

145

Honestly, I don't.

146

Oh, come on, Mackenzie.

147

You're the sort of busybody that knows everything that's going on.

148

You can't resist getting that beak of yours into other people's business.

149

Beak?

150

Yes, your beaky nose.

151

And if you don't tell me who did it, in my role as your UCAS referee, I will fuck your application up.

152

What if I have to go to the berth?

153

Can you imagine how grim that'll be?

154

Watching that baby getting squeezed out of her arse.

155

Right.

156

I've got some news, Neil.

157

So have you been down the Enterprise then?

158

Um...

159

Oh, I'm just trying to...

160

There are loads of brilliant up-and-coming bands.

161

I can't quite...

162

I don't know.

163

I just...

164

Is it cool if you haven't?

165

No, I don't think so.

166

Yes, I fucked a Dutch girl.

167

But like, it's never been to Holland.

168

Yeah, I have.

169

It was the West Ham under 13's football tour.

170

Oh, right, and what did she do to you when you were 12 that was so filthy?

171

Give you a blowjob in a windmill, wank you off with clogs.

172

Nah, look, it was properly filthy.

173

I shouldn't tell.

174

Try us.

175

Alright.

176

Well, when I fingered her, she shit down my arm.

177

Shall we go and look where we're sleeping then?

178

Honk if you want a blowjob.

179

We should stick it on Kerry.

180

She loves giving blowjobs.

181

We'd have to get a bigger one.

182

Yeah, a good one.

183

Actually, I know where this should go.

184

Look, someone's got a funny bumper sticker.

185

What's this one say?

186

Honk if you want to...

187

What?

188

I literally have no idea how they got there.

189

It's just not very funny though, is it?

190

I mean, why would you want to drive around with that on the back of your car?

191

Don't you look dirty?

192

I'm not.

193

It's not like I'm obsessed with blowjobs or cocks.

194

Honestly, I'm not.

195

Now, sir.

196

Come out here, you coward!

197

I think we should all take a breath, try and calm down.

198

You're telling me to calm down?

199

Calm down?

200

I'll smash the shit out of your garden and see how you like it!

201

Okay, I've got a really bad hangover, so if you aren't willing to have a sensible conversation, I'm just going to shut the curtains.

202

Are you taking the moral fucking high ground?

203

Is that what you're doing?

204

Okay, as I say, I'm going to close these now.

205

You think that's gonna stop me?

206

I'm closing them now.

207

You think I give a fuck?

208

About to close.

209

Closing.

210

Closing.

211

Closing.

212

But I wanna deal with you meself.

213

And they're closed.

214

He's gone.

215

Who wants a model that looks like a spotty baby crossed with the Statue of Liberty?

216

Statue of Liberty?

217

His hair.

218

Oh, yeah.

219

Entire you and him can have my room.

220

Oh, thanks, sis.

221

I'm not mad keen the idea of you having sex at all.

222

But at least this is why I know you're doing it so I'm uncomfortable.

223

Oh, absolutely.

224

Only in her vagina.

225

I meant in my bed.

226

Um, so did I.

227

Why'd you say vagina then?

228

Hmm.

229

I suppose I just always thought that we might...

230

You know, we might...

231

We have to go.

232

I've got to go.

233

I'm sorry.

234

I'll see you soon.

235

What?

236

We might what?

237

Say it.

238

Come on.

239

Mate love?

240

Was it mate love?

241

Oh, I'm going to have to go.

242

I've got a missed call from Ralph Lauren.

243

Didn't even ring, did it?

244

I think I'm going to be a dad.

245

Neil, you have to fuck a girl for that to happen.

246

I know.

247

I did it with this bird from Asda and now she's pregnant.

248

What does it feel like?

249

Zite?

250

All right.

251

Anything else?

252

No-one's expecting D.H.

253

Lawrence, Neil, but did you think anything other than, this is alright?

254

My legs ached.

255

Fucking hell, Benji!

256

Then I pushed it in a bit, then out a bit, then in a bit, then my legs ached, then out again, then back in, and then it went off and now she's pregnant.

257

Okay, I think I get the picture, Sutherland.

258

Cool.

259

Look, isn't this exactly the sort of thing that Twitter or MySpace were invented for?

260

No, sir.

261

I was thinking about writing to the Daily Star's problem page, you know, the one with the photos, but it takes a week to find out the advice.

262

OK.

263

And this encounter, did it take place on the school premises or with a fellow pupil?

264

No. Good.

265

Well, what I think you should do is turn round, get out of my office, and we'll pretend this conversation never happened.

266

All right.

267

Cheers for that.

268

I had one bent over the table here.

269

There was one up here that I was fingering, I was just toe-fucking the one on the floor.

270

I'll tell my dad that Benji did a shit in the house. Did he?

271

Well, no, but if I say he did, we'll have to keep him outside.

272

Then I can wank freely without him judging me.

273

Your dad?

274

The dog.

275

Right, sorted.

276

Now you owe me 1,500 quid.

277

Jay, my fucking car!

278

How great?

279

Oh, shit, yeah.

280

The way I look at it, it's inevitable that the car's gonna go into the lake.

281

I suppose it's nature.

282

You can't fight nature.

283

Exactly.

284

It's going in anyway.

285

Anyway, my arm's hurt.

286

We might as well just let go.

287

Do you think Simon will be annoyed?

288

How can he be?

289

It's logical.

290

We can't stop it.

291

We are stopping it a bit now.

292

It's inevitable, Neil.

293

Trust me.

294

We'll let go after three, all right?

295

Gotcha.

296

One, two...

297

No!

298

Oh, God!

299

Oh, God!

300

Oh, God!

301

Oh, God!

302

Thank you.

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ฝึกพูดภาษาอังกฤษด้วยเทคนิค Shadowing จากวิดีโอ: BEST OF THE INBETWEENERS | Funniest Moments from Series 3

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