Shadowing Practice: I Analyzed My Failed Relationships & Here's What I Found - Learn English Speaking with Video

Now one of the most common questions that I get asked, if not the most common, is how to deal with breakups.

I think a lot of you guys are at the point where you're going through your first relationship.

If not, you've been through some relationships, but you're around the age because I have a younger audience.

So it's only expected that a lot of you guys are going through this for the first time,

or that you're inevitably going to go through this for the first time heartbreak is unfortunately inevitable

but that's part of life that's the beauty and the joy

and wonders of growing up and experiencing life

so sit back relax i'm gonna go through an arm workout we're gonna do biceps

and breakups all right so the very first exercise

that i'm gonna do is an ez bicep curl

or an ez is that right ez a very american way of saying it an ez bar bicep curl

i like to do a warm up please don't forget guys warm up especially myself i have experienced some

bicep tendon issues

so dynamic stretches warm-up permit sets on a lightweight then what

we're going to do is between sets i'm going to talk you guys through the different types of breakup

so let's get into the exercise and we'll get back to that

even on these just try and keep it nice and controlled

and nice enough lightweight especially when you're starting out just make sure

that there's no rocking momentum throwing the weight nice steady curl come up squeeze

that biceps slowly down feel the resistance we're working bicep going

up we're working the bicep going down nice oh yeah

and don't forget to breathe all right

so now we're going to get into the different types of breakup

and why some of them hurt more than the others the different types

and this is what i've observed is one you're breaking up

with someone okay initially you're going to experience a little bit of heartache this might have been

your soulmate okay or so you think you shared great memories and experiences with this person

and is dealing with the it's accepting the fact

that this person is no longer going to be in your life

but you're the one ultimately that's making the decision

that you want to move on maybe it was a mutual decision

but still you can experience some amount of heartbreak the other type type two

this is where it starts to get a little bit more

serious this is where you're the person that's been broken up with.

Now you've had no time to prepare yourself.

This might be brought on to you as a surprise and so you're left with a certain amount of shock.

This may leave you with some emotional mental distress

because of the unexpected news that you're no longer in a relationship with

that this person no longer wants to be with you.

This also instills a certain amount of self-doubt

and it most certainly takes a knock on your self-confidence the third type

which I think is worth mentioning is the nasty C word getting cheated on

and getting broken up with

so this obviously has a gross effect on your self-confidence it's

a huge blow to your ego you question your self-worth

and your personal your partner who you love who you're in

a relationship with chose to be with someone intimately over you

and that hurts now these are the different types

and we're going to go through some of the ways

that i've dealt with these um based on information and knowledge

that i've gained has helped myself

and other people deal with these sort of situations all right

so i've increased the weight quite a bit i'm going to do another exercise

and then we're going to get into the guts of it

four sets i work on about 10 to 12 reps

and you'll see my initial sets here I like to have a very slow

and controlled movement and I work that up to a little bit of a higher tempo and then even some partials

holy moly I had nothing to give there

so much blood in the bicep at

that point it just feels numb before I go into some

of the guts of this before I get into the meet I just want to mention

that there really is no right

or wrong right at the end of the day you do

and you handle the situation the way you feel you're most

comfortable you need to be aware of certain things that's ultimately going to guide you through this process

and that's one we all respond to situations differently

if you're at the point where you want to break up with someone

or you're really having a sort of volatile relationship ask yourself, have I done everything that I can?

If I move on, can I honestly turn around and say, we tried.

Fuck it, we tried.

Is that possible?

So you make sure when you move on, there's no regrets.

There's no looking back.

You both know with confidence.

You've done whatever you can in your capacity in order to try and resolve the issues.

But when it comes to being broken up with, you need to understand

that you're going to experience a number of multitude of different emotions it's very similar to those of death

and I say that

because there's the absence of the person there's the void now where this was the significant other in your life

and that person is no longer there and understanding these phases

or stages is is one of the first steps to help you understanding what you're going through, the emotions that you're feeling and experiencing,

and ultimately, it's just going to help you deal and process the situation better.

One, denial.

You're going to find yourself where you presented the news, someone's breaking up with you, or you got cheated on.

No, it's not true.

It can't be real.

So there's that initial denial.

After the denial, you're going to experience some sort of anger.

This is where you start bargaining with yourself and not necessarily the other person.

After bargaining comes depression and it's only natural now we're getting closer to the point where we're starting to understand the situation,

we're starting to process what has put us here and what has gotten us to where we are.

You're now accepting that you haven't heard from the person, that it really is at the point of being over

and it's only natural you start experiencing some sort of depression and sadness about the situation.

the very last point is the light at the end of the tunnel

and that is acceptance and typically when we reach this point of acceptance that's

when we start to feel a bit better about it

so always know that there is that light at the end of the tunnel

and that you have to go through these stages

and phases to ultimately get to the point of acceptance

100

and at that point of acceptance that's where you are able to move on

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and you're able to move forward not necessarily with someone else

102

but with yourself and back to working on yourself developing

103

and improving yourself so that you can one day find yourself in a relationship again

104

so the next exercise I'm going to move on to here is more of a concentrated

105

or a seated bicep curl I'm going to do this a little bit of an incline

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so it's going to give us maximum extension on the bicep

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itself I'm going to go a little bit heavier here yeah

108

I'm going to switch things up I'm going to aim from

109

anything from 8 to 10 reps again we're back to doing

110

four sets I'm going to do a finisher on the set with a drop

111

which means I'm going to drop from the 35 pound

112

that I'm doing right now down to a 25 pound

113

so very important with this one you want to be seated you can obviously do the standing

114

but when you're seated it really forces you to control the curl as it avoids any sort of rocking

115

or swaying with the body.

116

So again, elbows forward, come out, full extension.

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There we go.

118

Okay.

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So, just to go back to what I said earlier, what I would like you guys to do if you are going through a breakup right now,

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is just do some self-reflection and establish which part of those stages

121

or phases you're at this might help bring some sort of inner peace

122

and understanding as to where you are emotionally as well

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so I want to give you guys a real life experience a page out of my book

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when I was young I think it was my first

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or second relationship these are things that we don't know we don't have experience

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so one of the mistakes

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that I made was kind of isolating myself from all of my friends and I devoted myself fully to the relationship.

128

When the relationship is over we find ourselves destitute and very alone

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because the same friends

130

that we weren't there for are very likely not going to be there for us when we need them.

131

Keep your friends, okay, have some sort of mutual understanding in your relationship

132

that you still have the association and the friendship with people

133

that you were friends with before getting into relationship itself but two

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when the relationship ends one I threw myself deep into the

135

gym it's an opportunity to work on your self-confidence it's an

136

opportunity to distract yourself from your thoughts you don't want to surrender to your sorrow

137

and the situation that you're in you don't want to feed into

138

that break out of that do things

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that you you did not do in the relationship go to places

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that you did not go you don't want that constant reminder so So break the cycle, do things different, try and retain relationships with old friends,

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throw yourself into the gym.

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I don't want this to become your personality.

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A lot of guys take on this persona of the villain arc that they've had their heart broken.

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Just use the gym as an opportunity to work yourself, to build your confidence,

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to meet new people one be out of your house

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and be an environment surrounded by other people one of the

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best relationships you're gonna have is the one where you're participating in activities

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and the person in relationship with shares like-minded interests in things that you're passionate about such as going to the gym

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So one question I want you guys to ask yourself.

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If you're in a relationship, you're not happy, or if you've gone through a breakup, was I in love with the person?

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Did it nourish and feed my soul?

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Or did it nourish and feed my addiction?

153

which means you're either in love with the person and that's milk to cry over if you spill it, right? But often you find

154

that you're in a more of a lustful relationship where you're actually just feeding into your ego

155

or an addiction because of the fact that the person has a pretty face, a good body nice biceps

156

and we struggle to get over what we're losing the pretty

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face the nice body the voluptuous milk is these are things

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that we struggle to get over and

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that we think we're not going to gain again more

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so it's more physical than what it is the person itself

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so ask yourself

162

that question what are you going to miss about the person the most what do you miss about the person the most.

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Is it them or is it more physical attributes about them?

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I'm training biceps today I'm using my application this is the NullDaisle application it's available on iTunes

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and Google Play

166

so following it's got an arm split this is a advanced

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seven exercises 22 sets I'm following the bicep portion of this

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so the next thing that I need to do is a hammer curl.

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I either do the hammer curls on the dumbbell

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or I can do the hammer curls on the rope on the cable

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so I'm going to move over to the rope to the cable

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and we're going to get going on a nice hammer curl

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so before I get into my exercise I want to tell

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you guys something I'm going to leave this with you think

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about this whilst I do my set the healing process is

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not linear sometimes you're going to have good days sometimes you're

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going to have bad days we feel at some point

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that those bad days are just never going to end

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and we're never going to get out of this pit the state of sorrow

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that we find ourselves in a state of heartbreak

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and we have a lot of longing and we have a lot of regret

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because we miss that person we don't think we ever going to be able to get over

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that person but eventually one day just like that it happened

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and you reach that point and this is post the point of acceptance you reach

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that point when you look back

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and you say why did I allow myself to beat myself up about losing

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that person like they weren't even good for me like why either allow myself to isolate myself at home, neglect going to the gym,

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ultimately just let yourself deteriorate further physically, mentally, over someone that eventually you realize was never good for you in the first place.

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And that turning point does occur.

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It does happen where you'll eventually find yourself through the sorrow

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and eventually have this point of reflection where you look back and you're like, why?

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Now, take this point with a pinch of salt

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because I don't know your situation this is obviously

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if you've been broken up with or if the person cheated on you if they've done wrong to you ah ah ah

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ah ah ah ah ah ah ah

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breakups can be quite catastrophic because a lot of guys end up taking their own lives

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because they cannot deal with the breakup.

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They cannot handle the fact that their partner has chose to leave them.

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They cannot handle the fact that they're alone.

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But such as I mentioned earlier on, these emotions are going to come in waves and stages and it is going to reach a point,

201

prepare yourselves, it's going to reach a point where you're going to hit that depression stage

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and you're going to feel awful about the situation.

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But it may be a matter of days,

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weeks, before you reach the point of acceptance and then it's just like this light bulb goes on and it's like,

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oh, why did I allow myself to feel that way?

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Eventually, you're going to find true love and true happiness.

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So if you guys are at that point of depression

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and you're really struggling emotionally to come to terms and to really come to grips with what has happened here,

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please, I beg you, consider the fact that it's just a matter of time

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before you feel better about your current situation

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and it really gives you some sort of hope knowing

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that there's someone out there that you're going to experience the same plus more

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and what you think you've lost with the person that you're with previously.

214

So don't lose hope.

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The more relationships you go through, the more breakups you go through, you're going to become more and more resilient and it's going to get easier with time.

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And that's why I said in the beginning, one of the hardest breakups is going to be your first one.

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And unfortunately, that is when you're young and you just don't know how to deal with and how to process these things.

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But that's why I'm here for you and that's why I'm making this video.

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All right, so we're off to the final exercise, the final set.

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This will be the finisher.

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I'm going to put on these baby weights.

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This is five pounds, which doesn't look like much, but I'm going to explain to you guys how this exercise goes.

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I'm going to do 10 reps.

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I'm going to drop the weight for 10 seconds.

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I'm going to do that 10 times.

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The pump that you're going to have from this is godly.

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So you guys have to try this great finisher.

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I'm not going to bore you with all We're gonna fast forward through a lot of this.

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I'm gonna show you guys how it's done.

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Let's go one two three four Yeah

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I really hope, guys, that you got value from this.

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I really hope it's helped you in your current situation if you are going through a breakup, if you've been through a breakup and you're still just struggling to get over it.

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I hope that you find some solace in your life and peace and you come to terms with what has happened.

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And just know that you're not alone in this.

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There's people that care about you there's people that love you.

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If you're really struggling, open up, reach out to those people, initiate the conversation, let them know what you're feeling.

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This doesn't make you weak in any way, shape or form.

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There are people who love and care about you and there's people that want to help you.

239

So please open up to them, let them know what you're struggling with

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and together help overcome your situation for me always going back

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and now I'm talking like 20 years later 25 years later looking at some of the situations

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that I thought in

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that I thought I would never overcome I've been there I know where you guys are at

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and that's why I wanted to do this video so

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that I can help as many of you as possible

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and get a damn good bicep pump

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and a good bicep workout in the process you guys are

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dealing with heartbreak hope this helps there's anything else you guys

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need help with reach out I'm gonna make videos like this

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so I can try

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and help as many of you as possible as active as I am in my DMs there's some

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that I don't get to but hopefully these videos will address a lot of the problems

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that you guys are facing I'm gonna appreciate you guys goodnight

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “I Analyzed My Failed Relationships & Here's What I Found” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: relationship, bicep, situation, breakup. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 253 cümle ve 3124 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 19:40 sürüyor. Konuşmacı dakikada yaklaşık 159 kelimeyle, günlük konuşmaya yakın doğal bir hızda konuşuyor. Kelimelerin %87’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
breakup isim	/ˈbɹeɪk.ʌp/	ayrılık
acceptance isim	/əkˈsɛp.təns/	kabul
biceps isim	/ˈbaɪ.sɛps/	iki başlı
hammer isim	/ˈhæmɚ/	çekiç
sorrow isim	/ˈsɑɹoʊ/	üzüntü, keder
denial isim	/dɪˈnaɪ.əl/	inkâr
cheat fiil	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	aldatmak, dolandırmak
emotion isim	/ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/	duygu, his
nourish fiil	/ˈnʌɹ.ɪʃ/	beslemek
bargain isim	/ˈbɑːɹɡən/	kelepir, okazyon
rope isim	/ɹoʊp/	halat
addiction isim	/əˈdɪkˌʃən/	bağımlılık, iptila
reflection isim	/ɹɪˈflɛkʃən/	yansıma
deteriorate fiil	/dɪˈtɪɹ.iə.ɹeɪt/	bozmak
heartache isim	/ˈhɑːteɪk/	kâlp ağrısı, yürek ağrısı

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
get over fiil		üstesinden gelmek, yenmek
come out fiil	/ˌkʌm ˈaʊt/	çıkmak
grow up fiil		büyümek, yetişmek
turn around fiil		çevirmek, döndürmek

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

I don't want this to become your personality.
Did it nourish and feed my soul?
I'm going to put on these baby weights.
I'm gonna show you guys how it's done.

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	you've been · have experienced · i've observed
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	been broken · might be brought · being broken

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı you're, I'm, we're gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 140 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: finisher /ˈfɪnɪʃɚ/, emotion /ɪˈməʊ.ʃən/, nourish /ˈnʌɹ.ɪʃ/, emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, addiction /əˈdɪkˌʃən/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: emotionally /ɪˈməʊʃənəli/, deteriorate /dɪˈtɪɹ.iə.ɹeɪt/, intimately /ˈɪntɪmətli/, voluptuous /vəˈlʌp.t͡ʃu.əs/, catastrophic /ˌkætəˈstɹɑfɪk/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: lightweight /ˈlaɪt.weɪt/, workout /ˈwɝk.aʊ̯t/, sway /ˈsweɪ̯/, squeeze /skwiːz/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: breakup /ˈbɹeɪk.ʌp/, sway /ˈsweɪ̯/, spill /spɪl/, squeeze /skwiːz/, grip /ˈɡɹɪp/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: hammer /ˈhæmɚ/, catastrophic /ˌkætəˈstɹɑfɪk/, distract /dɪˈstɹækt/, attribute /ˈæt.ɹɪˌbjut/, sadness /ˈsædnəs/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; breakup, acceptance, biceps gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?