Shadowing Practice: Dilemma With Emma | FULL VIDEO - Learn English Speaking with Video

Hello everybody and welcome to this week's video which is going to be a long segment of Dilemma with Emma.

Since I can now see your guys's video ideas on my website

which if you don't know about it is down in my description

or you can visit emmamarkin .com

and many of you guys requested to do a whole video of just Dilemma with Emma

so this video that's exactly what I'm going to be doing

which is basically just giving you guys advice on whatever's going on in your life which

90 % of the time is some sort of relationship issue um yeah that's that's literally it I don't know

if you guys noticed the little setup here I've kind of

set myself up like my own personal therapist just like everything pink

and beautiful these might not look too pink in the camera

but they're pink trust me

and this is my phone where our dilemmas are gonna

come through my phone is ringing hello I dated my ex

for four years from sophomore year of high school to sophomore year of college

but I've known and liked him since eighth grade we broke up in March

because even though he knows me better than anyone we fight a lot we're super different and I'm almost nothing in common.

I want to date other people now and I want to start something new, but we're still in the same friend group and spent basically the whole summer falling into old habits.

So there's so much history and comfort there.

How do I actually let go when neither of us fully can?

Got it.

Thank you.

Like I totally get how that is such a long time to be with someone, especially like sophomore year five school to sophomore year of college,

like those years, you know, it's like a lot of change in each other and like your life.

And it like is a good part of forming who you are.

So I understand why there would be like such a deep like attachment and connection there.

However, you want to date other people.

You wanting to date other people is kind of the whole reason that you can't keep up with these old habits anymore.

I would say you are capable of moving on.

You totally are capable of letting go okay it's

when you keep falling back into those old habits it takes you a step back

I would say like I get it you're in the same friend group but

that means you can exist as friends in the same friend group I would say don't go back to kissing and cuddling

and whatever you're doing whatever it is old habits means I

would go as far as to say don't hang out one -on -one even

if it just feels friendly there's a history of romance with you too

so it's like that that doesn't really work especially

if you want to see other people how do you think those other people are going to feel

if you're still buddy buddy with your ex of four years

that's like kind of crazy to me I like I would feel like

that was crazy and I wouldn't be comfortable with it

if I was that new person you're trying to date

if you really want to let go

and you really want to date new people you have to actually physically let go don't be seeing him romantically

or even like really hanging out with him unless it's friend group things and it's like sure whatever

i understand like you don't want to cause any issues with your group of friends totally fine

but you both of you fully can let go

if you don't want to be in a relationship anymore you broke up in march okay

so it's been a couple of months you kind of only have the summer

and you spent it falling back into those old habits like

have you been with anybody else like what have you done

to even try to move on you know what I mean like okay you said you broke up

but what things actually changed everything has to change your relationship can't remain oh half the same half not

so then it just feels like a low effort relationship

or like a non committed like like a zero commitment relationship like you kind of have to pick

you know what I mean

and since it sounds like you want to see other people you're gonna have to make

that choice even

if it hurts it's sad like you might mourn the breakup a little bit extra now

because now it's like you're really not going to see him as much you're not

and once you've met you have to have like the discipline not to fall into those old habits

and once you start feeling

that like you might feel a little bit of pain of

the breakup even though it was in march you might feel a little bit more now

because it's like part two you know what i mean

so you're gonna have to power through that but then after

that after you've like gotten used to not like always talking to we're not always seeing him

and stuff like

that it's going to be easier you're going to feel the ability to actually let go

and you're not going to feel that connection

when you're trying to like talk to other people i think

it'll make it a lot easier for you that's that's my

advice you fully can let go like i believe in you you can do it it's hard you can do it

here comes another call hello my best friend and i have been having

so many fights and things honestly haven't been the same for about a year.

It starts out small.

and then always spirals into a huge argument about the same stuff over and over again.

There's a lot of jealousy, codependence, and possessiveness, which isn't healthy, but we genuinely love each other so much.

We're just very different, and I'm more emotional than her, so she can't really understand why I need her to be sensitive sometimes and less harsh.

We make up, and things are fine for about a week, and then it's right back into a fight.

I miss when it was easy.

I don't know.

We just need to give up on each other or what, but we'd literally go insane without each other.

Help.

Look, some people are more emotional than others.

I think it has a lot to do with how they were raised.

Personally, I was raised to be very sensitive and just thoughtful, emotional.

Like my mom is, um, you know, very empathetic, always plays devil's advocate, kind of made me that way.

Not everybody was brought up the same way.

They could have been through situations that gave them a different level of sensitivity

and whatnot so your friend or your best friend having like a hard time understanding

that that's that part is okay what's not okay is

if she's making the choice actively to do things over

and over again that you've told her bother you then that's just a choice she's making

and that's not okay but I get it like fights

and stuff like it's it's irritating you feel like giving up

on the friendship you just kind of have to see like do you value your friendship more

or do you value um like just like having your peace

and not fighting

100

but then again you have to think okay say you choose

101

not fighting anymore you break off your friendship then what you're going to suffer

102

and not be friends you kind of just have to like weigh it out I feel

103

if you still love her so much

104

and you still want to be your best friend then be

105

her best friend it's also okay to not be a hundred percent one way

106

or a hundred percent the other you can find a happy

107

medium of how you're going to solve your fights like do

108

you like to talk them out she doesn't like to talk

109

them out you have to find your happy medium there not

110

everybody's going to deal with conflict the same way not everybody

111

is going to understand your point of view you just kind

112

of have to decide like is it worth is your friendship

113

worth you know having a fight every once in a

114

while I do think from what I heard you say

115

that you do love this friend so much and that you wouldn't want to make that decision to not be friends anymore.

116

My personal advice would be try to come up with some sort of way to fight less

117

or if you feel something little turning into a fight, kind of try to shut it down before it becomes something big.

118

Don't bring up any arguments from the past.

119

Once you forgive them, you forgive them.

120

You don't think about that again when you make the choice to forgive someone.

121

You don't keep dragging it past that.

122

That would be my advice to you.

123

Here comes another caller.

124

Hello, I have this friend who likes this boy

125

and she wants to invite him to prom all of my other friends

126

And I know this boy would say no and she would get embarrassed Also, this boy's dated a girl who my close friends

127

and the guy say was a really bad person

128

But my friend has idolized him so much

129

that she doesn't realize the boy doesn't want to be with anyone How can I help her realize without hurting her feelings?

130

My other friends have tried talking her out of it

131

But she changes the subjects

132

and finds another girl who will support her ideas all right got it here is like my personal rule

133

and i will share it with you

134

if you want to apply it as your personal rule i'm not a dictator do whatever you want

135

but like it's just my advice

136

sometimes you just have to let people figure it out for themselves you can only tell someone something

137

so many times before you look like the butthole you know

138

what i mean you did your part as a friend to tell her

139

that yeah he's he we think he's gonna say no you

140

did your part you told her your opinion what you think will happen

141

if you thought your friend was in a bad situation

142

and you told her about it that that's your job and

143

that was a good thing to do if she doesn't want to see

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that she doesn't want to listen she wants to do her

145

own thing like she clearly isn't hearing out what you have to say you can only tell her

146

so many times

147

and my vote is you tell someone once that's like my

148

rule is you tell them once you have a conversation about it

149

if they shut it down they don't want to talk about

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it they disagree whatever you just have to let people figure it out on their own eventually

151

if you were right then they'll know they'll know

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that you had their back they'll know

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that you you know were thinking of them

154

and wanted the best for them but also there's the possibility

155

that it does go well maybe he does say yes maybe

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you know like maybe she knows something you don't you can only tell someone something one time

157

and then you you just have to let them figure it

158

out it's not your job to control other people's lives or

159

to try to like stop them from doing something

160

and learning a lesson that maybe they're meant to learn

161

and maybe you know that he's already planning on taking out someone else whatever

162

okay you you do your part and you tell your friend that but

163

if she doesn't care she wants to do it anyway she

164

wants to do her own thing she's not listening to what

165

you have to say it is literally not your job to parent her

166

or force her to do anything

167

or she maybe you know you really never know also what's going on in someone else's relationship.

168

So it's like you don't get anything out of it by like constantly trying to teach her something.

169

And all she's getting from it is that you are, maybe she's thinking you're jealous.

170

Maybe she's thinking that, you know, they don't want me to be happy, whatever it is.

171

Like it's better on both ends.

172

She'll learn her lesson either way or she'll, it'll work out for her.

173

For you, you look like the good friend who gave one warning and then backed off and did what she said.

174

That is literally the thing is you tell them once.

175

If it's really bad twice, three times, fine.

176

But if it's something little like that, like you don't think he's going to want to go out with her, that's unfortunately just something she's going to have to find out for herself.

177

You think a guy, like you don't think a guy is loyal to your friend.

178

Like your friend has a boyfriend.

179

You don't think the boyfriend is a very loyal guy.

180

Like you just don't think he's the type, whatever you can tell i think you tell your friend

181

and he gives me a bad vibe i don't really trust him

182

and then you leave it at

183

that you don't keep pushing you don't be like oh you should break up

184

because no no no that is for them to find out

185

if your friend maybe she's like oh yeah no i totally get

186

that vibe too like i don't know it's a different story

187

but you can only really tell someone

188

so many times before now you just you just look like

189

a bad friend you just look mean here we go again

190

hello hi emma i hope you're doing well i just wanted

191

to give you a little bit of context before asking my question.

192

I've lost my mom two years ago and the grief has honestly been something I found really difficult to navigate.

193

How do you think we learned to carry someone's absence while still allowing ourselves to be excited about the life we're building?

194

First off, I want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.

195

I can't even imagine how hard

196

that is for anybody to learn how to deal with losing

197

a parent is obviously like the biggest loss of someone I

198

can imagine um losing anybody in your immediate family is obviously such a huge change

199

and understandably difficult to navigate and it makes sense

200

that it's been hard for you to you know learn to be excited about your life

201

while still like carrying

202

that absence with you um i obviously i'm coming from the

203

perspective of somebody who has both of their parents still the

204

only grief i can really relate with is my grandparents i would say

205

that it's such a beautiful thing to be able to miss

206

that person's and have that like feeling of absence in your life

207

because you know how important that person was to you

208

and like how amazing is it that

209

that person was able to have such a good relationship with you

210

and make you want to have them around and like

211

that person is someone that you're able to miss not everybody is fortunate to have had

212

that relationship with their parents I think you know that's something to obviously be really grateful for

213

and it's important I think to look on like the positive side of things like how amazing is it

214

that you got those years with your mom and how

215

if you're building this new exciting life like think about how

216

proud your mom would be don't think about how sad it is

217

that she can't be there with you or how sad it is

218

that you know she was she's gone now i would think

219

about more the positive things like i'd be making her

220

so proud or i'm so happy we got all those years together I'm

221

so happy we had the relationship we had like it's just like a mentality shift

222

that I think has to happen you know it's obviously

223

so much easier said than done like I can't imagine what you're even feeling right now

224

but I think it's a beautiful thing that you have

225

that absence to like have to carry and

226

that feeling to have to carry like how lucky for you

227

to have such a like connection to your mom you know what I mean here comes another call

228

hello hello Emma I have nowhere else to go I have

229

a friend who said he's in love with a medical receptionist

230

and she speaks to him super nice and is super helpful

231

and probably leading him on I rang to check the voice

232

and it's an AI how do I tell my friend without hurting his feelings

233

you know I I would have never thought we came to

234

issues like these where people felt like they were in love and it's um it's a robot it's an AI I,

235

you know, you really never think these times are going to come, and here they are.

236

I'm honestly a little speechless.

237

Oh, boy.

238

Friend is in love, and he doesn't know it's an AI.

239

You know, this is tough to navigate.

240

I've never had to, I've never really dealt with this one before either, actually.

241

Oh, you know, that might be an original sentence, actually.

242

um maybe just like complain about like how

243

so many things like are like complain about how like every receptionist type of thing is an AI now

244

and be like oh my god like I was trying to book this appointment the other day

245

and the freaking AI like wasn't working whatever maybe something like

246

that would just like kind of get the ball rolling for him of like maybe she's AI

247

that's yeah I mean I don't know how you maybe just do it like

248

that let him figure it out for himself

249

that way you don't like embarrass him too

250

because I think that's like the biggest part like could you imagine you fell in love with a robot

251

and you didn't even know that's a real I'm sorry for your friend

252

that oof yeah that's yeah I see how you would have nowhere else to go other than Dilemma with Emma.

253

I hope that gives you some ideas.

254

I hope that helps.

255

Here comes another one.

256

Hello.

257

So me and my ex were in a relationship for four years.

258

She cheated on me for six months of it, so I left her one year ago.

259

She still keeps phoning me on no caller ID

260

and begging for me back what do i do i was 12

261

when i met her

262

so all she's known as relationships is me i see thank

263

you for calling i get four years is a long time to be in a relationship

264

but she cheated on you for six months those six months

265

like she's known other things she's probably just trying to like

266

guilt trip you make you feel bad make you want to like pick up the phone so

267

that you don't leave her alone whatever like she might be

268

just trying to manipulate you like okay yeah you met her

269

when she was 12 that's really young

270

and all i think you'd be doing her a service

271

and you'd be doing yourself a service to just not pick

272

up like you have her blocked obviously she's calling you no

273

caller id begging for you back okay i don't think there's anything you should do like

274

if you need to tell her one more time like hey

275

stop calling like this isn't going to be anything like you need to let it rest maybe you do

276

that one more time unless you've already done it a ton this is

277

you know she's something she's gonna have to just like come to terms with the fact

278

that you aren't together anymore she's gonna have to come to terms with she cheated on you for

279

that month that meant that she cheated on you for

280

that many months for that long like she has to take accountability for what she did

281

and then she has to realize that she's no longer gonna have that relationship.

282

I mean, once you've taken the trust out of a relationship, how are you going to get it back?

283

It's going to be so hard to get that trust back.

284

It kind of takes too big of a toll on a relationship.

285

You clearly don't sound like you want her back.

286

You've blocked her, so what is there to do?

287

I mean, it seems like it's been a year.

288

You clearly don't have her in your life

289

anymore don't change

290

that here we go again hey i have four friends of

291

mine studying in the same program in college we are in our year three

292

and we all knew each other starting our freshman year

293

so here's the thing they love to talk

294

and gossip about others in the same program

295

and i never join in gradually i found out that when they are gossiping or even when they're just discussing something academic, which is something I can participate in,

296

they never share and discuss with me and kind of leave me in the unknown.

297

I might not even say a single word to them for the whole lecture

298

while they talk and laugh together the whole time.

299

And just in addition, they kind of have similar hobbies while I'm not into the common hobbies they have.

300

As you seem to have a good group of friends, what are your suggestions towards the relationships or what should I do?

301

okay thank you okay I'm gonna say that this can be a mix of things I feel oh my goodness

302

when in situations where you feel like you're being left out

303

you feel like it could be one of two things are

304

you trying to include yourself are you trying to be in those conversations or are you not involving yourself?

305

Are they talking and you don't join in?

306

Are you choosing to sit away from them?

307

Are you, you know what I mean?

308

Is it part you're excluding yourself or are you trying to include yourself and they don't allow you in?

309

They don't like continue the conversation when you're with it.

310

Like what, how much are you excluding yourself and how much are they excluding you?

311

You know what I mean?

312

To me, it sounds like it's a little bit of both.

313

I would make an effort.

314

If you feel comfortable, if you hear them discussing something you feel like pitching in on, give them your five cents, whatever.

315

But I totally understand not wanting to gossip or talk about other people in your program.

316

I don't understand wanting to talk bad about other people.

317

So I don't blame you for that.

318

I'm not saying join in on that at all.

319

I'm just saying in situations where you find yourself able to add something

320

or able to give your opinion, do it take advantage of those little moments

321

and understand again not having the same hobbies as them

322

but you could still be friends with someone who doesn't have

323

the exact same hobbies with you you know what I mean

324

I think you kind of just now have to navigate how

325

close really are you with these people does it matter to you

326

if you have conversation with them if it does matter to you you think

327

that these are like your actual friends

328

and friend group then you kind of have to just figure

329

out are they excluding you are you excluding yourself is it

330

a mix of both what can you do to include yourself

331

and do you feel comfortable having conversations with these people asking

332

them to include you more do you feel comfortable asking them

333

to hang out do you feel comfortable sitting there during a conversation with them talking bad about someone else

334

just kind of discussions you have to ask yourself

335

so something crazy wild unexpected happened

336

when um i was filming my camera overheated i didn't even know

337

that was really a possibility when i was indoors

338

but somehow it overheated I guess

339

because I was like filming for too long um in 4k I guess sometimes it does

340

that I don't know I think I just need to get a better camera honestly

341

but yeah that's my advice for you guys you definitely don't have to listen to anything I said

342

but if you got some good takeaways then I'm happy I love you all

343

so much and I want to say thank you

344

so much for watching if you haven't already subscribe hit the notification button

345

so you can see me again next week

346

if you liked dilemma with emma it is a series

347

that is kind of just a little segment in parts of vlogs usually not a total own video

348

but this is what we got this weekend so love you all

349

so much thank you for watching and i'll see you next time bye

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu konuşma dersi “Dilemma With Emma” videosuna dayanıyor. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 349 cümle ve 4276 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 22:19 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 192 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %90’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında, bu yüzden kelime dağarcığını takip etmek kolay.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodan öğrenmeye değer 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
habit isim	/ˈhæb.ɪt/	alışkanlık, adet
dilemma isim	/daɪˈlɛmə/	ikilem, dilemma
friendship isim	/ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/	arkadaşlık, dostluk
absence isim	/ˈæb.s(ə)n̩s/	yokluk, gıyap
cheat fiil	/ˈt͡ʃiːt/	aldatmak, dolandırmak
hobby isim	/ˈhɑ.bi/	hobi, merak
forgive fiil	/fɚˈɡɪv/	affetmek, bağışlamak
gossip isim	/ˈɡɑsɪp/	dedikodu, gıybet
lesson isim	/ˈlɛs.ən/	ders, çimke
sensitive sıfat	/ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/	alıngan, darılgan
buddy	/ˈbʌdi/	ahbap
robot isim	/ˈɹoʊ.bɑt/	robot
loyal sıfat	/ˈlɔɪəl/	sadık, vefalı
grief isim	/ɡɹiːf/	hüzün, keder
vibe isim	/vaɪb/	ortam

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Anlam
find out fiil	anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak
take out fiil	çıkarmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

You've blocked her, so what is there to do?
Are they talking and you don't join in?
Are you choosing to sit away from them?
Are you, you know what I mean?
You know what I mean?

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	I've known · it's been · have you been
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	video which is · friend who likes · friend who gave
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	were raised · was raised · was brought

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı don't, you're, I'm gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 139 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, eighth /eɪtθ/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/, freshman /ˈfɹɛʃ.mən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, unexpected /ʌnɪkˈspɛktɪd/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, sensitivity /ˌsɛn.səˈtɪv.ə.ti/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

/w/ — dudaklar yuvarlak, /v/ değil: nowhere /ˈnoʊ.(h)wɛɹ/, weigh /weɪ/, takeaway /ˈteɪkəweɪ/, whatnot /ˈwʌt.nɑt/
Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, grief /ɡɹiːf/, breakup /ˈbɹeɪk.ʌp/, grateful /ˈɡɹeɪtf(ə)l/, drag /dɹæɡ/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: habit /ˈhæb.ɪt/, absence /ˈæb.s(ə)n̩s/, navigate /ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/, romance /roʊˈmæn(t)s/, drag /dɹæɡ/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
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Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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