Shadowing Practice: alone but not lonely // ep. 15 - Learn English Speaking with Video

good morning you guys it's sid i woke up this morning

made some tea why am i clenching why am i holding

it like this i'm back home in new york as you can tell after traveling quite a bit the summer.

I really just wanted to be back home.

It feels very quiet and still, but I think that that's exactly what I needed.

And it really just got me thinking it's time for another alone but not lonely video.

Now, if you guys are getting sick of these, please say that.

Say the words, and I'll never film one again.

i really told myself

that i needed to try a new coffee shop like the

same one i'm going to is getting to the point where

the baristas know my order i walk in they've already started making it

because they know exactly what it is and i do love

that like there is like some charm and comfort in having my local coffee shop that I do love.

I will always go back there, but it's fun to try somewhere new.

There's this place called Aties.

I got a latte and then I got a bagel.

You know what?

This is a pretty good bagel.

Mmm.

This coffee's really good.

Wow, wait.

I'm a little stunned to speak.

This coffee is way better than I expected.

I'm really sorry that I underestimated you guys at Ties, but...

Why did I decide to wear this shirt when it is 85 degrees outside?

I don't know.

Okay, I'm sweating profusely and I'm regretting this decision.

I found this little area of New York about a few months ago and ever since I've loved to come over here.

It's the place that I find I'm the most at peace.

Something about like being by the water.

I don't know psychologically what it is, but it always calms me down.

I always just feel so at peace.

So I just wanted to walk by here.

Maybe I'll journal actually.

I brought my journal with me.

You can see the Statue of Liberty in the distance right there.

I've been journaling more the past month than I have in my whole life.

It really helped me to kind of like understand my own feelings and put them into words.

Sometimes I think that I'm stressed when in reality I like write it out and I understand I'm not stressed.

I'm actually really sad about something specific or I'm anxious about something

and I'm just sort of labeling it as stress when it's something deeper than that.

I guess I'm just trying to say I've been able to understand myself more

and really be in touch with my own emotions and feelings, which something that I don't talk about as much on here as I wish I did is struggling with anxiety.

It's something I've had for my whole life and I know I'm definitely not alone in this.

I've definitely found ways to cope over the years through, like, therapy has been huge for me.

Being with friends, expressing my emotions, journaling even, just, like, different coping strategies.

But the one thing that I've realized helps me more than all of those, by far, has really just been praying to Jesus

and reading my Bible having that relationship with God brings me sort of a sense of peace that nothing else really can.

And I can't even put into words how or why, but I feel such an overwhelming sense of peace

when I have the courage to like give up the control that I think I have over my own life to God, which is much easier said than done.

And it's something that I struggle with all the time.

I've just been trying to work on that and it's been really, really helpful for me.

So I just wanted to share.

Oh, also, do you guys recognize my journal?

If you know, you know. so i

have never once regretted buying flowers for myself i used to think it was like a waste of money

and they die so what's the point but there is something

so nice about buying flowers for yourself

and having a fresh bouquet of flowers in your living room i got my current favorite

which are hydrangeas at the moment they are

so beautiful i just love how full these are

and growing up my mom had these in her garden

so i think that's also partially why i love them

so much anywho i just took inventory of what i have food wise

which is basically nothing so that way when i go to whole foods.

I kind of know what I'm going to get.

And then I'm going to do a grocery haul because that's one of my favorite things.

I'm back home and we're going to do a massive grocery haul.

I love a good grocery haul.

Sometimes I like grocery hauls more than clothing or makeup hauls.

We're going to do this speed round.

The best mac and cheese ever, Goodles.

Almond butter granola, multiple smart sweets, these mini chocolate chip cookies that I've already eaten two bags of since I've been home, some healthier tortillas.

I really like to make these healthy quesadillas with them.

Protein powder because I'm waiting for my new one to be shipped to my apartment.

Rib beer olipop, grape olipop, best crackers on the planet, more smart sweets, self-ground peanut butter.

This is a new discovery for me, just have to say.

It does taste better for me.

I don't know if it's like the placebo effect and it's like literally the same thing.

I got an avocado, lemon, two limes.

I missed my smoothies so much when I was gone and I cannot wait to make my first smoothie back.

I got frozen strawberries for that.

I actually got two of these bags.

Got some chicken breast for my healthy quesadillas.

Maybe I should show that recipe too soon.

I have so many recipes.

I'm just, call me a chef.

I'm like really lazy half the time.

So with my Goudles.

I like to make a little Caesar salad and these kits are so easy.

Got some fresh berries for my yogurt bowls in the morning.

And another current favorite for me right now is this.

The Uncle Matt's half and half black tea lemonade is so good.

It's like an Arnold Palmer, but it's like a little bit healthier because it's sweetened with stevia.

Okay, the last thing is I got some ingredients to make banana bread tonight

because I have been craving it for some reason.

Anyways, that's my grocery haul that I am very proud of.

I am gonna put everything away.

100

Also, this new haircut.

101

What is this called?

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I'm blanking on what the name of this is, but my friend got it for me for my birthday and it has my initials on it.

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Like, look how cute this is.

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We're making banana bread today, and look what I just got, a little banana plushie.

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It's so cute.

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We'll put him here.

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Can you see him?

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There he goes.

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I am making a vegan banana bread, actually.

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I am not vegan.

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Long story short, I have no reason to be making vegan banana bread.

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I'm gonna start mashing up some bananas in my giant mixing bowl.

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Nice.

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I would make banana bread if I couldn't eat it just for the sole purpose of the aroma that fills my apartment.

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It smells so good in here, better than any candle I have ever burned.

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I wish you guys were here

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so you could smell what i'm smelling it's very like calming baking is for me

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while it's baking though it's gonna be about 50 minutes i

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thought i should just kind of run through clean up some

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things in my room it's really not bad at all

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but i find

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if i like maintain it to be clean it's a lot easier than letting it become a wreck

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and trying to do a major deep clean so this is me being responsible.

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It's ready.

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It's ready.

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I was just listening to Rihanna for the last 10 minutes.

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Obviously got changed into my comfy pajamas and yes, it is still light outside and I'm already in my pajamas but I don't I don't care.

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Why am

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I sitting on the ground and there's a perfectly good couch behind me?

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Don't ask.

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For some reason it's more comfortable

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so I eat all my meals this way it's like why

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did i even buy a couch i have patiently waited to

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eat this i've been very good here she is i even took the end piece

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because honestly i was too lazy to cut another piece it's

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still warm you know what it's good enough will i link

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the recipe now i feel like i'm at this point in

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my life where i'm really in between chapters it just feels scary

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and uncertain to not know exactly what my life is going to pan out to be.

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A lot of it having to do with location.

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I feel like I have no idea where I'm going to be living a year from now.

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I don't know, as I get older I really think about location

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and where I want to be and where I want to live

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and raise a family and just I do love New York for so many reasons.

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I don't know if I'm gonna leave.

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I don't know.

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I even feel nervous to say this to you guys

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because I don't want to set anything in stone or assumptions to be made.

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I just don't know and I hate not knowing.

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I like to know what's gonna happen because I am a very anxious type A person.

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Anyways, I'm saying all this because I personally get

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so much comfort from talking to friends or online

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and hearing people tell me how they're feeling

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if I've been feeling a similar way because it just makes me feel less alone in my emotions and feelings.

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Not that I'm going through anything detrimental or anything at all, but I want to do my skincare, I think.

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A little nightly skincare routine.

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This is the awkward part, giving up.

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Just don't watch that.

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I'm feeling a bit gross.

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Like my makeup has been marinating too long all day.

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Oh my god, I actually need to order my cotton rounds because I have been using paper towels with micellar water.

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You know, it's not luxurious and it's just not, it's probably not good.

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My roommate's been gone for the past four months, which is like really, really long.

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She's just like been traveling.

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She'll be back, but because she's been gone for so long, I feel like I've been getting a bit more lonely.

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Obviously there's some things that I love about being alone and living alone, but I'm so excited for her to come back.

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Just having someone at home sometimes, even if you're not speaking, like even if like we're in different rooms or I don't know if we're sitting next to each other on the couch, like on our phones for an hour.

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I just feel comfort in having someone there.

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I just can't wait for her to come back.

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Please Olivia, if you're watching this, come back like tomorrow.

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I've been using the Caudillet Vino Perfect drops on my face every night,

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mostly because I've had this cold sore sort of scar form after I got one on my lip.

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I don't know if you guys can see it super well.

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I had my first cold sore ever about a month and a half ago and it was awful.

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Like honestly like one of the worst I've ever seen in my life.

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I've heard that like the first one can be really bad.

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I don't know.

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Anyways it's left this redness on my lip which I'm just like hoping it goes away.

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So i've been trying to use this to help maybe like Promote healing for it.

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I feel like it has been helping a little bit I've just started using it

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but I do love like everything caudillet carries I've been trying out this thomas roth moisturizer at night

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and it's like a very interesting consistency.

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It's very light I don't know.

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I'm really liking it.

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I always make sure to put some on my neck I've been keeping my gua sha in my shower

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because it's just so much easier for me to use it consistently when I just have it in my shower so

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okay guys i am in my bed i've been reading my bible annotating it journaling a little bit

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but i did just want to say thanks for hanging out with me

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if you stayed till this point i really love you It just like makes my heart so happy.

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All of your nice comments and things, I just want you guys to know like never goes unnoticed.

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I love you guys so much.

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And I'll see you in my next vlog.

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Bye.

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Shadowing Practice: alone but not lonely // ep. 15 - Learn English Speaking with Video

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