Shadowing Practice: Dilemma With Emma | FULL VIDEO - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Hello everybody and welcome to this week's video which is going to be a long segment of Dilemma with Emma.
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Since I can now see your guys's video ideas on my website
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which if you don't know about it is down in my description
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or you can visit emmamarkin .com
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and many of you guys requested to do a whole video of just Dilemma with Emma
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so this video that's exactly what I'm going to be doing
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which is basically just giving you guys advice on whatever's going on in your life which
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90 % of the time is some sort of relationship issue um yeah that's that's literally it I don't know
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if you guys noticed the little setup here I've kind of
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set myself up like my own personal therapist just like everything pink
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and beautiful these might not look too pink in the camera
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but they're pink trust me
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and this is my phone where our dilemmas are gonna
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come through my phone is ringing hello I dated my ex
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for four years from sophomore year of high school to sophomore year of college
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but I've known and liked him since eighth grade we broke up in March
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because even though he knows me better than anyone we fight a lot we're super different and I'm almost nothing in common.
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I want to date other people now and I want to start something new, but we're still in the same friend group and spent basically the whole summer falling into old habits.
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So there's so much history and comfort there.
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How do I actually let go when neither of us fully can?
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Got it.
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Thank you.
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Like I totally get how that is such a long time to be with someone, especially like sophomore year five school to sophomore year of college,
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like those years, you know, it's like a lot of change in each other and like your life.
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And it like is a good part of forming who you are.
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So I understand why there would be like such a deep like attachment and connection there.
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However, you want to date other people.
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You wanting to date other people is kind of the whole reason that you can't keep up with these old habits anymore.
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I would say you are capable of moving on.
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You totally are capable of letting go okay it's
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when you keep falling back into those old habits it takes you a step back
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I would say like I get it you're in the same friend group but
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that means you can exist as friends in the same friend group I would say don't go back to kissing and cuddling
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and whatever you're doing whatever it is old habits means I
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would go as far as to say don't hang out one -on -one even
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if it just feels friendly there's a history of romance with you too
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so it's like that that doesn't really work especially
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if you want to see other people how do you think those other people are going to feel
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if you're still buddy buddy with your ex of four years
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that's like kind of crazy to me I like I would feel like
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that was crazy and I wouldn't be comfortable with it
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if I was that new person you're trying to date
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if you really want to let go
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and you really want to date new people you have to actually physically let go don't be seeing him romantically
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or even like really hanging out with him unless it's friend group things and it's like sure whatever
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i understand like you don't want to cause any issues with your group of friends totally fine
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but you both of you fully can let go
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if you don't want to be in a relationship anymore you broke up in march okay
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so it's been a couple of months you kind of only have the summer
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and you spent it falling back into those old habits like
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have you been with anybody else like what have you done
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to even try to move on you know what I mean like okay you said you broke up
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but what things actually changed everything has to change your relationship can't remain oh half the same half not
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so then it just feels like a low effort relationship
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or like a non committed like like a zero commitment relationship like you kind of have to pick
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you know what I mean
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and since it sounds like you want to see other people you're gonna have to make
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that choice even
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if it hurts it's sad like you might mourn the breakup a little bit extra now
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because now it's like you're really not going to see him as much you're not
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and once you've met you have to have like the discipline not to fall into those old habits
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and once you start feeling
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that like you might feel a little bit of pain of
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the breakup even though it was in march you might feel a little bit more now
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because it's like part two you know what i mean
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so you're gonna have to power through that but then after
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that after you've like gotten used to not like always talking to we're not always seeing him
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and stuff like
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that it's going to be easier you're going to feel the ability to actually let go
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and you're not going to feel that connection
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when you're trying to like talk to other people i think
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it'll make it a lot easier for you that's that's my
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advice you fully can let go like i believe in you you can do it it's hard you can do it
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here comes another call hello my best friend and i have been having
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so many fights and things honestly haven't been the same for about a year.
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It starts out small.
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and then always spirals into a huge argument about the same stuff over and over again.
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There's a lot of jealousy, codependence, and possessiveness, which isn't healthy, but we genuinely love each other so much.
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We're just very different, and I'm more emotional than her, so she can't really understand why I need her to be sensitive sometimes and less harsh.
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We make up, and things are fine for about a week, and then it's right back into a fight.
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I miss when it was easy.
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I don't know.
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We just need to give up on each other or what, but we'd literally go insane without each other.
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Help.
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Look, some people are more emotional than others.
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I think it has a lot to do with how they were raised.
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Personally, I was raised to be very sensitive and just thoughtful, emotional.
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Like my mom is, um, you know, very empathetic, always plays devil's advocate, kind of made me that way.
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Not everybody was brought up the same way.
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They could have been through situations that gave them a different level of sensitivity
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and whatnot so your friend or your best friend having like a hard time understanding
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that that's that part is okay what's not okay is
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if she's making the choice actively to do things over
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and over again that you've told her bother you then that's just a choice she's making
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and that's not okay but I get it like fights
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and stuff like it's it's irritating you feel like giving up
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on the friendship you just kind of have to see like do you value your friendship more
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or do you value um like just like having your peace
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and not fighting
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but then again you have to think okay say you choose
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not fighting anymore you break off your friendship then what you're going to suffer
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and not be friends you kind of just have to like weigh it out I feel
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if you still love her so much
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and you still want to be your best friend then be
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her best friend it's also okay to not be a hundred percent one way
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or a hundred percent the other you can find a happy
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medium of how you're going to solve your fights like do
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you like to talk them out she doesn't like to talk
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them out you have to find your happy medium there not
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everybody's going to deal with conflict the same way not everybody
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is going to understand your point of view you just kind
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of have to decide like is it worth is your friendship
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worth you know having a fight every once in a
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while I do think from what I heard you say
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that you do love this friend so much and that you wouldn't want to make that decision to not be friends anymore.
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My personal advice would be try to come up with some sort of way to fight less
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or if you feel something little turning into a fight, kind of try to shut it down before it becomes something big.
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Don't bring up any arguments from the past.
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Once you forgive them, you forgive them.
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You don't think about that again when you make the choice to forgive someone.
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You don't keep dragging it past that.
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That would be my advice to you.
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Here comes another caller.
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Hello, I have this friend who likes this boy
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and she wants to invite him to prom all of my other friends
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And I know this boy would say no and she would get embarrassed Also, this boy's dated a girl who my close friends
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and the guy say was a really bad person
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But my friend has idolized him so much
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that she doesn't realize the boy doesn't want to be with anyone How can I help her realize without hurting her feelings?
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My other friends have tried talking her out of it
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But she changes the subjects
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and finds another girl who will support her ideas all right got it here is like my personal rule
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and i will share it with you
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if you want to apply it as your personal rule i'm not a dictator do whatever you want
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but like it's just my advice
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sometimes you just have to let people figure it out for themselves you can only tell someone something
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so many times before you look like the butthole you know
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what i mean you did your part as a friend to tell her
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that yeah he's he we think he's gonna say no you
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did your part you told her your opinion what you think will happen
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if you thought your friend was in a bad situation
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and you told her about it that that's your job and
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that was a good thing to do if she doesn't want to see
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that she doesn't want to listen she wants to do her
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own thing like she clearly isn't hearing out what you have to say you can only tell her
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so many times
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and my vote is you tell someone once that's like my
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rule is you tell them once you have a conversation about it
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if they shut it down they don't want to talk about
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it they disagree whatever you just have to let people figure it out on their own eventually
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if you were right then they'll know they'll know
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that you had their back they'll know
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that you you know were thinking of them
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and wanted the best for them but also there's the possibility
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that it does go well maybe he does say yes maybe
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you know like maybe she knows something you don't you can only tell someone something one time
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and then you you just have to let them figure it
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out it's not your job to control other people's lives or
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to try to like stop them from doing something
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and learning a lesson that maybe they're meant to learn
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and maybe you know that he's already planning on taking out someone else whatever
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okay you you do your part and you tell your friend that but
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if she doesn't care she wants to do it anyway she
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wants to do her own thing she's not listening to what
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you have to say it is literally not your job to parent her
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or force her to do anything
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or she maybe you know you really never know also what's going on in someone else's relationship.
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So it's like you don't get anything out of it by like constantly trying to teach her something.
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And all she's getting from it is that you are, maybe she's thinking you're jealous.
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Maybe she's thinking that, you know, they don't want me to be happy, whatever it is.
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Like it's better on both ends.
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She'll learn her lesson either way or she'll, it'll work out for her.
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For you, you look like the good friend who gave one warning and then backed off and did what she said.
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That is literally the thing is you tell them once.
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If it's really bad twice, three times, fine.
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But if it's something little like that, like you don't think he's going to want to go out with her, that's unfortunately just something she's going to have to find out for herself.
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You think a guy, like you don't think a guy is loyal to your friend.
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Like your friend has a boyfriend.
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You don't think the boyfriend is a very loyal guy.
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Like you just don't think he's the type, whatever you can tell i think you tell your friend
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and he gives me a bad vibe i don't really trust him
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and then you leave it at
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that you don't keep pushing you don't be like oh you should break up
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because no no no that is for them to find out
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if your friend maybe she's like oh yeah no i totally get
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that vibe too like i don't know it's a different story
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but you can only really tell someone
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so many times before now you just you just look like
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a bad friend you just look mean here we go again
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hello hi emma i hope you're doing well i just wanted
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to give you a little bit of context before asking my question.
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I've lost my mom two years ago and the grief has honestly been something I found really difficult to navigate.
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How do you think we learned to carry someone's absence while still allowing ourselves to be excited about the life we're building?
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First off, I want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.
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I can't even imagine how hard
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that is for anybody to learn how to deal with losing
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a parent is obviously like the biggest loss of someone I
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can imagine um losing anybody in your immediate family is obviously such a huge change
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and understandably difficult to navigate and it makes sense
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that it's been hard for you to you know learn to be excited about your life
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while still like carrying
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that absence with you um i obviously i'm coming from the
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perspective of somebody who has both of their parents still the
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only grief i can really relate with is my grandparents i would say
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that it's such a beautiful thing to be able to miss
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that person's and have that like feeling of absence in your life
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because you know how important that person was to you
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and like how amazing is it that
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that person was able to have such a good relationship with you
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and make you want to have them around and like
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that person is someone that you're able to miss not everybody is fortunate to have had
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that relationship with their parents I think you know that's something to obviously be really grateful for
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and it's important I think to look on like the positive side of things like how amazing is it
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that you got those years with your mom and how
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if you're building this new exciting life like think about how
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proud your mom would be don't think about how sad it is
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that she can't be there with you or how sad it is
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that you know she was she's gone now i would think
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about more the positive things like i'd be making her
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so proud or i'm so happy we got all those years together I'm
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so happy we had the relationship we had like it's just like a mentality shift
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that I think has to happen you know it's obviously
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so much easier said than done like I can't imagine what you're even feeling right now
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but I think it's a beautiful thing that you have
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that absence to like have to carry and
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that feeling to have to carry like how lucky for you
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to have such a like connection to your mom you know what I mean here comes another call
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hello hello Emma I have nowhere else to go I have
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a friend who said he's in love with a medical receptionist
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and she speaks to him super nice and is super helpful
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and probably leading him on I rang to check the voice
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and it's an AI how do I tell my friend without hurting his feelings
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you know I I would have never thought we came to
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issues like these where people felt like they were in love and it's um it's a robot it's an AI I,
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you know, you really never think these times are going to come, and here they are.
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I'm honestly a little speechless.
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Oh, boy.
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Friend is in love, and he doesn't know it's an AI.
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You know, this is tough to navigate.
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I've never had to, I've never really dealt with this one before either, actually.
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Oh, you know, that might be an original sentence, actually.
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um maybe just like complain about like how
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so many things like are like complain about how like every receptionist type of thing is an AI now
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and be like oh my god like I was trying to book this appointment the other day
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and the freaking AI like wasn't working whatever maybe something like
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that would just like kind of get the ball rolling for him of like maybe she's AI
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that's yeah I mean I don't know how you maybe just do it like
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that let him figure it out for himself
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that way you don't like embarrass him too
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because I think that's like the biggest part like could you imagine you fell in love with a robot
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and you didn't even know that's a real I'm sorry for your friend
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that oof yeah that's yeah I see how you would have nowhere else to go other than Dilemma with Emma.
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I hope that gives you some ideas.
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I hope that helps.
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Here comes another one.
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Hello.
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So me and my ex were in a relationship for four years.
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She cheated on me for six months of it, so I left her one year ago.
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She still keeps phoning me on no caller ID
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and begging for me back what do i do i was 12
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when i met her
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so all she's known as relationships is me i see thank
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you for calling i get four years is a long time to be in a relationship
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but she cheated on you for six months those six months
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like she's known other things she's probably just trying to like
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guilt trip you make you feel bad make you want to like pick up the phone so
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that you don't leave her alone whatever like she might be
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just trying to manipulate you like okay yeah you met her
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when she was 12 that's really young
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and all i think you'd be doing her a service
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and you'd be doing yourself a service to just not pick
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up like you have her blocked obviously she's calling you no
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caller id begging for you back okay i don't think there's anything you should do like
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if you need to tell her one more time like hey
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stop calling like this isn't going to be anything like you need to let it rest maybe you do
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that one more time unless you've already done it a ton this is
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you know she's something she's gonna have to just like come to terms with the fact
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that you aren't together anymore she's gonna have to come to terms with she cheated on you for
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that month that meant that she cheated on you for
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that many months for that long like she has to take accountability for what she did
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and then she has to realize that she's no longer gonna have that relationship.
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I mean, once you've taken the trust out of a relationship, how are you going to get it back?
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It's going to be so hard to get that trust back.
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It kind of takes too big of a toll on a relationship.
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You clearly don't sound like you want her back.
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You've blocked her, so what is there to do?
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I mean, it seems like it's been a year.
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You clearly don't have her in your life
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anymore don't change
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that here we go again hey i have four friends of
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mine studying in the same program in college we are in our year three
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and we all knew each other starting our freshman year
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so here's the thing they love to talk
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and gossip about others in the same program
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and i never join in gradually i found out that when they are gossiping or even when they're just discussing something academic, which is something I can participate in,
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they never share and discuss with me and kind of leave me in the unknown.
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I might not even say a single word to them for the whole lecture
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while they talk and laugh together the whole time.
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And just in addition, they kind of have similar hobbies while I'm not into the common hobbies they have.
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As you seem to have a good group of friends, what are your suggestions towards the relationships or what should I do?
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okay thank you okay I'm gonna say that this can be a mix of things I feel oh my goodness
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when in situations where you feel like you're being left out
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you feel like it could be one of two things are
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you trying to include yourself are you trying to be in those conversations or are you not involving yourself?
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Are they talking and you don't join in?
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Are you choosing to sit away from them?
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Are you, you know what I mean?
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Is it part you're excluding yourself or are you trying to include yourself and they don't allow you in?
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They don't like continue the conversation when you're with it.
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Like what, how much are you excluding yourself and how much are they excluding you?
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You know what I mean?
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To me, it sounds like it's a little bit of both.
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I would make an effort.
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If you feel comfortable, if you hear them discussing something you feel like pitching in on, give them your five cents, whatever.
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But I totally understand not wanting to gossip or talk about other people in your program.
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I don't understand wanting to talk bad about other people.
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So I don't blame you for that.
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I'm not saying join in on that at all.
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I'm just saying in situations where you find yourself able to add something
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or able to give your opinion, do it take advantage of those little moments
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and understand again not having the same hobbies as them
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but you could still be friends with someone who doesn't have
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the exact same hobbies with you you know what I mean
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I think you kind of just now have to navigate how
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close really are you with these people does it matter to you
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if you have conversation with them if it does matter to you you think
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that these are like your actual friends
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and friend group then you kind of have to just figure
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out are they excluding you are you excluding yourself is it
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a mix of both what can you do to include yourself
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and do you feel comfortable having conversations with these people asking
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them to include you more do you feel comfortable asking them
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to hang out do you feel comfortable sitting there during a conversation with them talking bad about someone else
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just kind of discussions you have to ask yourself
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so something crazy wild unexpected happened
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when um i was filming my camera overheated i didn't even know
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that was really a possibility when i was indoors
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but somehow it overheated I guess
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because I was like filming for too long um in 4k I guess sometimes it does
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that I don't know I think I just need to get a better camera honestly
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but yeah that's my advice for you guys you definitely don't have to listen to anything I said
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but if you got some good takeaways then I'm happy I love you all
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so much and I want to say thank you
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so much for watching if you haven't already subscribe hit the notification button
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so you can see me again next week
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if you liked dilemma with emma it is a series
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that is kind of just a little segment in parts of vlogs usually not a total own video
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but this is what we got this weekend so love you all
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so much thank you for watching and i'll see you next time bye
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This speaking lesson is built on the video “Dilemma With Emma”. This video has 349 sentences and 4276 words to shadow. The speech runs for 22:19. The speaker talks fast, about 192 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 90% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English, so the vocabulary is easy to follow.
Key vocabulary in this video
15 words from the video worth learning, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| habit noun | /ˈhæb.ɪt/ | An action performed on a regular basis. |
| exclude verb | /ɪksˈkluːd/ | To bar (someone or something) from entering; to keep out. |
| dilemma noun | /daɪˈlɛmə/ | A circumstance in which a choice must be made between two or more alternatives that seem equally undesirable. |
| friendship noun | /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/ | The condition of being friends. |
| absence noun | /ˈæb.s(ə)n̩s/ | A state of being away or withdrawn from a place or from companionship |
| cheat verb | /ˈt͡ʃiːt/ | To violate rules in order to gain, or attempt to gain, advantage from a situation. |
| hobby noun | /ˈhɑ.bi/ | An activity that one enjoys doing in one's spare time. |
| sophomore noun | /ˈsɑf.mɔɹ/ | A second-year undergraduate student in a college or university, or a second-year student in a four-year secondary school or high school. |
| navigate verb | /ˈnæv.ɪ.ɡeɪt/ | To plan, control and record the position and course of a vehicle, ship, aircraft, etc., on a journey; to follow a planned course. |
| forgive verb | /fɚˈɡɪv/ | To pardon (someone); to waive any negative feeling towards or desire for punishment or retribution against. |
| gossip noun | /ˈɡɑsɪp/ | Someone who likes to talk about other people's private or personal business. |
| caller noun | /ˈkɔːlə/ | The person who makes a telephone call. |
| lesson noun | /ˈlɛs.ən/ | A section of learning or teaching into which a wider learning content is divided. |
| sensitive adjective | /ˈsɛn.sɪt.ɪv/ | Having the faculty of sensation; pertaining to the senses. |
| buddy | /ˈbʌdi/ | A person far removed from the conversation. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| break up verb | To break or separate into pieces. |
| bring up verb | To mention. |
| fall back into verb | To return to old habits; to return to an unhealthy or unhappy situation. |
| find out verb | To discover, as by asking or investigating. |
| back off verb | To move backwards away from something. |
| break off verb | To remove a piece from a whole by breaking or snapping. |
| come through verb | To come into a room or other space through a door or passageway. |
| come up with verb | To manage to produce, deliver, or present (something) by inventing, creating, thinking of, or obtaining it. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- You've blocked her, so what is there to do?
- Are they talking and you don't join in?
- Are you choosing to sit away from them?
- Are you, you know what I mean?
- You know what I mean?
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've known · you've met · haven't been |
| Relative clauses who / which + clause — extra information about a person or thing | video which is · friend who likes · friend who gave |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | were raised · was raised · was brought |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 139 contractions and reduced forms, such as don't, you're, I'm. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “th” sounds: bother /ˈbɑðɚ/, eighth /eɪtθ/, therapist /ˈθɛɹəpɪst/, thoughtful /ˈθɔːtfəl/, empathetic /ˌɛmpəˈθɛtɪk/
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: friendship /ˈfɹɛn(d)ʃɪp/, suggestion /səˈd͡ʒɛst.ʃən/, harsh /ˈhɑɹʃ/, freshman /ˈfɹɛʃ.mən/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/
- Long words — get the stress right: participate /pɑːˈtɪs.ɪ.peɪt/, unexpected /ʌnɪkˈspɛktɪd/, genuinely /ˈd͡ʒɛn.ju.ɪn.li/, sensitivity /ˌsɛn.səˈtɪv.ə.ti/, notification /ˌnoʊtɪfɪˈkeɪʃn̩/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like habit, exclude, dilemma.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.