Shadowing Practice: He’s Not the Prize. You Are (Wake Up) - Learn English Speaking with Video
Creating lesson...
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Do you know what a lot of us do?
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We romanticize the what if.
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The, oh my God, you know, the future could look like this.
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We could do this, we could do that.
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We could do this and that together.
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Him and I.
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If I could slap you right now, I would slap you.
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You know why?
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Because you don't actually know what it would be like if you got in a relationship with this person.
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You don't know what it would feel like for you guys to be in this perfect situation right now.
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And if it was perfect, you wouldn't be watching this video relating to what I'm saying right now.
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Hi guys, welcome to or welcome back to my channel.
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Welcome to my new home.
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I am in Los Angeles, California.
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I'm staying here for a few months.
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I'm testing it out and if I like it then I might go for a more permanent visa.
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So yeah, I'm so excited.
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I'm so excited to be here.
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I literally packed up my life and moved.
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So there is a lot that's going to be happening.
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It's going to be very exciting on this channel and I'm just so happy to be here truly.
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I feel like I'm such a California girl.
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Like it suits me and it makes sense.
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I moved by myself.
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I am your virtual big sister, your best friend.
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Okay.
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We're FaceTiming.
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We're two friends FaceTiming.
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And I'm going to give you some cutthroat advice today
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because I feel like if you saw the title of this video and it clicked and it resonated, then we need to chat.
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Okay.
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We need to have a little intermission right now because we have some shit to talk about.
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When I tell you, I am not just talking the talk.
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I'm walking the walk.
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I moved across the world by myself.
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Okay.
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So I'm ready to give you some advice and I'm ready to put you in check.
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Are you ready to be clocked but like with love though you know
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because i love you
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and i want you to be doing well i am going
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overseas for i don't know how long in less than a week i'm
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so anxious i'm
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so nervous i'm feeling all of these crazy feelings it's really
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hard to wrap your head around a really big life change
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because it's almost like your logical brain is telling you
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that through doing
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that through stepping out of your comfort zone you are going
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to have the most amazing experiences you are going to gain
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all of this knowledge it's going to be incredible there's nothing worse than being comfortable
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and sitting around and doing nothing
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but it's like emotionally i don't feel ready do you know what i mean like logistically i have everything sorted
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but emotionally i feel so scattered i'm nervous i feel like i'm very type a
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and i like to control the narrative control my life there are things
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that we just have to do for ourselves
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and nobody is going to help us but one thing
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that will help you is astra
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and i want to talk about astra really quickly through this
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transition of me moving everything into storage getting my life together
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getting prepared to go overseas my emotions have been absolutely turbulent they've been everywhere
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and having an app like astra has been
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so incredibly reassuring i mean i know
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that i give you guys advice on this channel
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but a girl needs her advice too and
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because i'm moving overseas i can't just go to a therapist
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and access a therapist whenever i want and so having ai for therapy is literally a life pack.
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I'm just really obsessed with anything that gives me insight into myself, my relationships, my timing, moving overseas, whatever I need help with.
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There are so many different features on the app.
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And so you can use Astra to tell you if you're compatible with somebody, whether it's a friendship or a new relationship, you know, maybe you're meeting somebody, you can ask Astra for advice.
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There's a styling guide.
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I love asking Astra for advice.
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I also love, you know, sort of putting in somebody's star sign and then mine as well and seeing if we're compatible.
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That is super fun to do.
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Astra is basically an astrology-based AI advice app where you can pretty much ask any question about love, compatibility, life changes, absolutely anything.
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There are a ton of different features on the app.
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You can go into whatever you're dealing with in life
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and it will pretty much give you a response that feels very specific and personal to you.
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So whether you're trying to understand a relationship or a friendship
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or decode your patterns or you just want a little bit of cosmic emotional support, it's genuinely an incredibly fun app.
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I love it so much and I I highly, highly recommend it.
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Thank you so much to Astra for sponsoring today's video.
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Everything will be linked in the description and without further ado let's get into the video.
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If you're into astrology, you're into relationships or honestly you're just anxious and you overthink Astra is the perfect app for you.
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There is something on the app for absolutely everybody.
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Today's topic is you are too pretty to be acting like this for a man.
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boy we have a lot to get into
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so get comfy men are always going to disappoint you
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if you are chasing and you are obsessed
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and you just put them on this pedestal they're always going
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to disappoint you there is never going to be a situation where you are more in love with a man
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and they don't disappoint you
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and that's a fact i'm willing to fight you on it i know
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that there is this joke going around of like men should love their girlfriend more that's the only way
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that it works blah blah I feel like
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that is true they should want you more and I'm not saying
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that in a relationship it's going to be them constantly always chasing you always doing
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so much like it is a push
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and pull you know it's a relationship obviously but
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when you're in a relationship and it's been years
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and you have a ring on your finger
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and you're more comfortable with them and you trust them
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and whatever still at that point you cannot look at me and say my man would never dot dot dot
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You can't say that.
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You don't know that about anybody.
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At the end of the day, men are out here cheating on their wives when they're about to pop out a baby.
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Let's be so for real.
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So don't think that they would never, okay?
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We're starting this off a little bit negative, but it's just the truth.
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Let's be so for real right now.
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It's the truth.
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A lot of us have been played by a man.
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And so what we do is when we really like somebody, everything that they say to us, we really want to believe it.
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It's almost very sweet, okay?
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it's like you're literally turning a shit show into something
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that looks more promising because you want to believe that we're
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so good at
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that believing in somebody's potential oh that's like one of our specialties as women it's just something
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that a lot of us have done like 99% of us have done this
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but it's time
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that you stop you are too pretty for a man to
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treat you like you're just an option I'm not going to live in this negative low vibrational energy okay
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because of my limiting beliefs and my anxiety and my fear
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because all of your fears are just this is just a feeling fear is just a feeling okay
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and it's not useful and it does not help so
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when you are scared and when you feel fear and
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when you are experiencing limiting beliefs you're almost putting it out
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there you are quite literally manifesting bad things to come into your reality
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so stop doing that oh my god what if he goes to
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that party and he meets a really pretty girl what kind of energy is that Are you kidding?
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You're putting out the most awful energy out into the universe.
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It's like a boomerang.
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Okay, you're putting it out.
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It's going to come back to you and it's going to come true.
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So instead, try this.
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If the man you like is going out to a party, you know what?
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I'm kind of annoyed that he's going out to that party because we were supposed to hang out.
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How about I make some plans?
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I dress up.
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I look good.
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And let's see who I can meet.
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What if I actually meet someone better?
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Listen, I'm going to tell you something.
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and this is going to be a hot take, okay?
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I am going to hold your hand and tell you this
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and I want you to believe it and I want you to know it
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and I want you to listen to this a million times until you do believe it.
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You can always find somebody else.
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Just because this man is amazing, he's fine, he's this, he's that, he ticks all the boxes, whatever.
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You guys have the same birthday, you guys are so compatible, your brothers are friends.
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I don't care.
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I don't care what the situation is.
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I truly don't.
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Anybody can be replaced and I'm not saying it's easy to replace people even for me.
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If you're friends with me, I can be replaced.
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There's no other one of me, but you can find somebody else that makes you feel loved and happy.
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And there's 8 billion people in the world.
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No hard feelings.
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It's just the truth.
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So do not make somebody the epicenter of your universe.
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Remember that there are other people out there for you, and they are so lucky that you've chosen them.
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They're so lucky that you want to be with them.
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The same way that yes, you are lucky that they choose you and that's what makes love beautiful in this world of so many people.
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You guys choose each other.
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I think that is absolutely beautiful and that's what is so special about love.
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But do not paralyze yourself into believing that this is the only one person in this whole universe for you.
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That is a really ugly energy.
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I want you to practice stepping out of that energy.
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When you start to feel that way, do absolutely anything you can.
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Listen to one of my videos, journal, anything that you can to remove yourself from that experience.
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Because the truth is it's like a snowball effect.
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You are who you hang around with.
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You are what you interact with.
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You are what you listen to.
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You are what you say.
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So if you keep saying, oh, I'm just, I'm so ugly.
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Like my skin never gets better.
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And like, I can't lose weight.
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And this guy doesn't want me.
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And everybody always dumps me.
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It's just going to keep happening.
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You need to stop.
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Let's talk about the good things.
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Okay, I'm gonna start first.
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I am going to list out some things that I like about myself.
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And it's gonna sound a little bit vain, but I'm gonna do it.
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It's something that we all should do.
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Listen, there's things I don't like about myself, but I'm not gonna think about it right now
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because these are things I'm working on and I want to improve and why ruminate on those thoughts, you know?
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Ooh, I like my hair.
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I think I have nice hair.
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I like when I get a blowout.
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I think it looks really nice and I have thick hair and I love my hair.
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So that's one physical thing.
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I love that I can talk to people easily.
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A compliment that I always get is you are
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so easy to talk to and you're so good at keeping a conversation going.
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So that's one thing I love about myself.
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And another thing is I love that I've been focusing on my health
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and I've been really showing up for myself and going to the gym.
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So these are all things that are positive that I love about myself.
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I want you to try because there are so many beautiful, amazing things about you.
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And I want you to pause this video right now
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and say it out loud and think about how that makes you feel.
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pause the video are you done okay let's take a deep breath together ready three two one why is
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that like crack like it just not that i've tried crack
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but it just feels
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so good to have a deep breath oh my god it's
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like feels amazing anyway why did we just do this you
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ask we listed all of these great things about ourselves because i want to remind you you are actually somebody's dream person.
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And okay, let's say maybe you're not this guy's dream person because he's not coming correct for you.
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Okay, the person that you want is not coming correct for you.
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They're ignoring you.
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They're not super interested.
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That obviously sucks.
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And I'm sorry you're going through that.
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But the thing is, just because they don't want you doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't want you.
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It doesn't mean that you're not valuable.
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Like somebody out there would genuinely look at me and I just would be the complete opposite of their type.
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I know it.
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I know it for sure.
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Like they would be like, that's just not my type.
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The same way that I might look at them and think the exact same thing.
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You're not my type.
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We're not a match.
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I don't want to date you and you don't want to date me.
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And so I'm not going to go home and, you know, sit in the corner there in the fetal position and be like, oh my God, I, there's nothing left for me.
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Like there's literally nothing left for me.
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And I hate my life and I hate myself.
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That is ridiculous.
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Imagine feeling that way.
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Oh, we don't have to imagine it.
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You are feeling that way over someone and you're too pretty to be feeling that way.
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You are too valuable.
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You are too amazing.
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And it needs to stop because the thing is you are putting this person on a pedestal.
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Do you know what a lot of us do?
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We romanticize the what if the, Oh my God, you know, the future could look like this.
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We could do this.
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We could do that.
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We could do this and that together.
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Him and I, if I could slap you right now, I would slap you.
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You know why?
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Because you don't actually know what it would be like if you got in a relationship with this person.
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You have no idea what it would be like.
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You don't know what it would feel like for you guys to be in this perfect situation right now.
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And if it was perfect, you wouldn't be watching this video relating to what I'm saying right now.
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Like the perfect situation would have you happy and you wouldn't be feeling stressed.
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Your cortisol wouldn't be up.
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You don't deserve any of this.
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These are ugly things.
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This is ugly.
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When you're sitting there stressed out about somebody, worried about somebody, you got eye bags, you've been crying, you have puffy eyes, like you're stressed.
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You know what I mean?
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Like that is not cute.
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Okay.
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I need you to care about yourself more than to allow yourself to feel this way.
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It's not cute.
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We all get stressed.
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I get stressed.
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All of us get stressed, but it's not good for you.
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It's not good for your body.
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It's not good for your mind.
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And it's just doesn't benefit anything.
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You're telling me in this world of all these beautiful places to travel, all of these amazing people to meet and friends to make and cute guys to date.
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You are sitting here, paralyzing yourself into believing
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that this one person who's not showing up for you is the only thing in this world
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that could bring you joy and happiness.
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You're being ridiculous.
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I'm going to slap you.
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You're being insane.
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You need to stop.
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You know what?
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You have to have respect for yourself.
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So here's an example.
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If I really like somebody, let me tell you, I'm a little bit insane.
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I'm insane.
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Why do you think I give you guys this advice?
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It's because I understand how you're feeling.
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And I've been there and I've crashed out multiple times over multiple things.
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Now I don't anymore.
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Well, rarely, like sometimes I will if it's something really big in my life and it's like a catastrophe, you know?
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But even then, 99% of the time, I will clock myself and I will be like, ew, why am I doing this?
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Why am I stalking this guy's following?
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Why am I crying about this?
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Like, I will let myself be sad for 20 minutes
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and then I'll come and watch a video like this one on YouTube
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and I just get out of it because I refuse.
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I'm not gonna waste my life.
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I'm not gonna sit there thinking these negative, horrible thoughts.
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It doesn't benefit me.
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It doesn't help.
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It doesn't make things any better.
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I like to be happy.
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Let me ask you a question.
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Say it out loud.
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Like I want you to actually answer me.
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Do you want to be happy?
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Cool.
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So if you want to be happy, then why are you sitting here putting this person on a pedestal and losing sleep over them?
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Another thing that makes you ugly, losing sleep.
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Why are you losing sleep?
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You tell me.
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If you showed me a photo of this person, would I look at you and say, oh my God, girl, he is the hottest thing that's walked.
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Would I say that?
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And I know that looks is just like, you know, subjective and whatever, but I feel like I would look at you
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and I'd say okay sure but really like you're actually
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that stressed over this person who treats you like that
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and looks like
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that no I'm kidding I'm actually just joking like whatever you guys can like whoever you want
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if you like a troll under a bridge
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if you like a prince I don't care
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if he doesn't treat you well then it's not good enough it's not good enough for me doll
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so what I want for you is for you to be
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so happy that you don't even have to press on a video like this
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because you're just so over the moon and so in love.
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And this person never makes you question your worth, never lets you question your worth, okay?
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So that's what I want for you.
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You deserve better.
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You deserve everything.
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Believe it, okay?
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I want you to believe that because it's true.
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Anyway, this was a short pep talk, okay?
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I have some long videos coming up, but I felt really inspired to film a video and I really wanted to kind of clock you guys.
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And I wanna make this a series, you know, kind of building up your feminine energy
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and not chasing men and sort of like dating advice and stuff like that.
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I really want to talk about it more.
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So any questions that you have, leave in the comments.
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I'm going to answer them.
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Any ideas you have for videos, let me know.
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I'm going to answer them.
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This video was really fun.
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I know it was short, but I just wanted a short little pep talk
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that you guys could listen to whenever you're feeling a type of way about a man because it needs to stop, girls.
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So I'm going to put this on Spotify as well as an episode on my Spotify
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so that you guys can listen to it.
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And yeah, I hope that you liked today's advice session.
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I sure loved giving you guys some advice.
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So I will see you in my next video.
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I love you so much and take care of yourself.
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Do not get ugly for a man.
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Why This Video Is Perfect for English Speaking Practice
This video is a goldmine for english speaking practice because it sounds like a real conversation—casual, heartfelt, and full of natural rhythm. The speaker uses everyday phrases, pauses, and emotional tone, which makes it ideal for mastering how to communicate like a native. Whether you’re working on fluency or improving english pronunciation, the relatable content keeps you engaged while you learn.
Breaking Down Natural Speech: 3 Key Phrases
- “If I could slap you right now, I would slap you.” This playful, direct line uses conditional grammar (“if I could… I would”) in a conversational way. Notice the repetition of “slap you”—it adds emphasis, a common trick in spoken English to make a point feel personal.
- “It’s really hard to wrap your head around a really big life change.” The phrase “wrap your head around” is a natural idiom meaning “understand.” Native speakers use such phrases daily, so practicing this helps you sound less formal and more fluent.
- “There’s nothing worse than being comfortable and sitting around and doing nothing.” The repetition of “and” here creates a conversational flow. Unlike written English, spoken English often uses run-on structures to mimic how we think—this is a great example to study for natural pacing.
Try This Shadowing Technique Routine
To practice with this video, use the shadowing technique (also called shadowspeak or shadow speak). Here’s how: 1. Play a 5-second clip, then pause. 2. Repeat the clip out loud, copying the speaker’s tone, speed, and pauses. 3. Record yourself, then compare it to the original. 4. Focus on matching the “uhs” and “ums”—they’re part of natural speech! Do this daily for 10 minutes, and you’ll notice your pronunciation and fluency improve quickly. Remember, the goal isn’t to be perfect—it’s to sound like a real person having a real chat.
You’ve got this! Every repeat brings you closer to speaking English with confidence.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Conditional sentences if + clause, will/would + verb — a condition and its result | if it was perfect, you wouldn't be |
| Present perfect continuous have/has been + -ing — an action that started earlier and is still going on | I've been focusing · you've been crying |
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | have been · has been · have been played |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | be clocked · will be linked · are obsessed |
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.