Shadowing Practice: no one can love you into liking yourself (pep talk) - Learn English Speaking with Video
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235 sentences
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Hi guys, welcome to or welcome back to my channel.
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There's a bee, there's a bee, there's a bee.
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Enough.
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Okay.
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Look at the background.
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Like I feel so at peace right now.
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This is absolutely stunning.
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I'm in Joshua Tree.
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I'm literally in the middle of nowhere here in California.
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And I just wanted to shout out this Airbnb.
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It's amazing.
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This is the Airbnb here.
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I'm gonna leave the details in the description.
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We have a lot to get on into, but I really just wanted to show you where I'm at because I can't, like, I just can't believe how beautiful it is.
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The view is insane it doesn't feel real.
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Today's topic is a little bit sad maybe.
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I don't mean to be sad but it's just like there's just some really real shit that I want to talk about.
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It's for a very specific type of person struggling with something similar to what I struggle with.
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I just thought it was nice and calm out here
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and the perfect place for me to sort of open up about certain things
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and I really hope that this pep talk gives you some perspective.
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I hope it makes you feel better.
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I hope it gives you what you need.
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Let's start off with a deep breath, please.
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Always feels so good to have a deep breath.
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I want to talk about self-worth.
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I also want to talk about why nobody's approval will ever be enough.
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I love Olivia Rodrigo.
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I saw her live and I thought she was amazing.
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I relate to the breakup music, how she's sad, and I actually really quite like that.
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It's very different to everything else that I listen to.
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And I listened to her song recently and it's called The Cure.
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I think the bridge of this song is amazing.
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I think the lyrics are really good and I just think it's a great song.
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And it kind of inspired this pep talk, which is kind of crazy, but I want to talk about it a little bit.
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So in this song, she's basically talking about how she's in this relationship and it feels good, you know?
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And she says something like, it feels like medication.
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It's good for me, I'm sure, but it doesn't matter how your love feels anymore.
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It'll never be the cure.
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When you're younger, you grieve relationships so differently.
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You know what I mean?
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I have a video if you don't know about it it's a video
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that went viral on my youtube where I'm going through a breakup I'm crying about it I'm talking about it
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and it's very real and I love that video and I love
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that it's helped a lot of people but I also feel completely different
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because it's almost been five years I'm just a completely different
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person what I've realized now looking back is there is this thing
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that we deal with on the inside
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and it doesn't matter like what friends we have around what
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boyfriend we have like what we're doing work-wise that's not just gonna go way
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and it's been like a really harsh reality for me
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because i've sort of always been dreaming about being here in la living in la it's always been my dream
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and i always sort of told myself like as soon as i get
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that then i'm good because like i'm i'm there
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and that's like my dream you know what i mean i
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don't know it's always like we have something to chase
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and then for me at least i get there
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and i realize why am i still sad like why do i still have things
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that feel like kind of broken inside of me i know
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that sounds really depressing and dramatic but it's just what it is
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and i think this song really made me realize like holy shit like
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that is actually what it is it's like nothing external will ever be enough whether that's a beautiful house
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or a lot of money or you have
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so many friends you have an amazing boyfriend you have an amazing partner like none of that is going to fix you.
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None of that is going to make you feel better on the inside.
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We all struggle with different things.
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For example, my thing is, I think because I got bullied really bad when I was younger, I have this sort of struggle within myself where I wanna prove to myself
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that I am worth it and I am worthy and I'm capable and I'm everything that I wanna be.
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And so it's so important for me to chase my career and be successful because it's like, Once I have that, this will be healed kind of thing.
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And now I'm realizing I could get everything I wanted tomorrow.
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And I have gotten a lot of things that I've wanted.
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And it hasn't fixed that.
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Like that thing inside of me that's like, maybe I'm not good enough.
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I've carried that since being bullied.
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And nothing external will be the cure for that.
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It can help.
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Just like Olivia says in her song, it feels like medication.
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It's good for me, I'm sure.
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But it will never be the cure.
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What I've noticed is the way
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that we fix this is being introspective it's journaling it's focusing
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on your health it's spending time alone understanding the world better you know go out
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and travel by yourself like make new friends step out of your comfort zone this is
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when you will realize your self-worth you will understand
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that nothing else can fix you and fix your life
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and fix what's happening on the inside it's only gonna be
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you honestly you could have like the most amazing boyfriend
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that treats you great and you guys go on really nice dates
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and he could be doing everything right he could be playing all his cards right
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if i had to choose between that or you solo traveling
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or doing something super out of your comfort zone it's going
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to be the thing that's out of your comfort zone
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that is going to heal everything wrong within you like truly i know
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that might sound like
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so insane it is stepping out of your comfort zone like
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i said being introspective journal workout get to know yourself
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and nurture this relationship with yourself before anything else
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because you could have the boyfriend that's doing everything right you could have the friends
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that are there and you guys have plans every single weekend
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that feeling within you is not going to go away
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and i've only just started to like really realize like yes i understand
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that this is actually the truth because you know when i heard this song by
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olivia a week ago i've been thinking about it all week i've been listening to it non-stop
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and i've just been really inspired by it
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and for this pep talk for example i don't even have
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any notes i don't even know what i'm saying i hope
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this ends up being a good video sometimes i script videos
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and i had a video in mind that i wanted to film
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but my heart was just telling me like i want to
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talk about this right now oh my god the birds are
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so cute they're so loud this is
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so beautiful i'll tell you what no amount of love from someone else will make you love yourself it's impossible
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and that relationship where i was like mourning it
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and crying on the internet you know
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that big breakup i was talking about before it's interesting
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because like i look back at that now and i couldn't even hate
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that person if i tried i'm so over it i'm
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so moved on from it i look back at
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that fondly like that's like art like I almost look at
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that video that I made as like art it's like
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that was a moment in time that's a capsule that's how I felt
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and I don't think I could feel
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that way again over a person I can definitely be sad I get sad I feel heartbroken over different things
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but I don't think I would mourn a breakup like that anymore because at that point I didn't realize that external validation,
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external love would never be the thing to fix me.
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It felt like that was the only thing that could and so losing that just like shattered my whole world, do you know what I mean?
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It's funny because I now know no amount of love from anyone else will make me love myself
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and I reflect on that relationship.
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This is what I wanted to say before when I brought it up.
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I reflect on that relationship
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and I remember it wasn't really like a deep relationship like properly like yeah we live together
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and we spend a lot of time together but I wasn't very independent.
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I didn't spend a lot of time by myself.
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I spent a lot of time with him.
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He was like the center of my world.
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My plans revolved around him whatever and I had a lot of panic attacks.
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I was very anxious during that relationship not because him
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and I had problems and we were arguing but because like I actually had like PTSD like I had trauma.
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Like when I say I got bullied I don't mean, oh, you know, like people picked on me and whatever.
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Like I got like beat up.
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Like I went home one day and had a black eye.
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Like I got bullied.
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It has changed my life.
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And just because something has made me stronger, two things can be true.
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It can be something that I learned from, but it can also be something that wasn't fair and something that I have to live with and gives me PTSD.
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And in that relationship, I had a lot of PTSD.
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And now looking back, it's like, that's not like a real deep relationship
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because I'm just spending like time with this person physically
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but this person doesn't really know what I'm going through
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and they're not going to be able to help me or fix me.
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Like I had to go on that journey by myself and now I'm very different.
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I've up and moved my whole life and it's like this is the number one priority in my life.
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I can be in love but also my relationship with myself is the number one most important thing.
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There are so many things in this world that I want to see, that I want to do.
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There are things that I want to do within my career
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that is going to help heal what's going on on the inside here.
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It's not going to be a partner and I am proof of this
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but you can have an amazing partner that checks all of the boxes
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that does everything for you I almost think it's more attractive
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and they love you more and love you deeper
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or at least the right person will when you do nurture yourself
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and you do take care of your relationship with yourself
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and want to heal yourself and
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when you start working on yourself picture this it's like initially
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when the thing happens you know it's like you just drop glitter all over yourself
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and it's everywhere and I don't know if you guys have ever experienced this
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but Glitter has this thing where it's just like, you can clean it up, but like, I swear to God, a week later, you'll still find little parts of it.
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That's how it feels for me.
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I still feel lonely.
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I still feel insecure, unworthy, all of these like awful low feelings.
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I'm a human being.
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I don't think I will ever live this life without feeling those things.
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But as you get older, as you experience more, it does get better.
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I feel like, like I was saying, it's like glitter, you know, you're never fully going to be rid of it.
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You're going to find little bits of it and be like, oh, that's still there, you know and that's just something that we have to accept.
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This is really deep and this is probably kind of depressing and I don't mean to be depressing, but I'm just opening up and being honest.
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Looking for someone to save you is exhausting
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because you're chasing a job that belongs to you and people can support your healing and love you, but they can't do it for you.
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It's gonna be you doing it by yourself.
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I don't even know what is happening in this video.
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Like I'm not necessarily telling you what you should do i think i'm just like opening up
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and speaking and talking about this really big realization that i've had
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because i hope that maybe through listening to this it inspires you
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and it brings you some peace and knowing
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that like you're not alone like i i understand like i understand what you're feeling life is fucking hard
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and maybe you're a bit frustrated with yourself
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and you're questioning like why do i feel like subconsciously i need someone to tell me that i'm enough?
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Like why can't I just be enough period?
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I guess I wanted to sit here and say this is something that I'm also figuring out in real time.
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I don't exactly have all of the answers but I think the biggest answer, the one thing I'm giving you in this video, you know different to my other videos where I'm giving you advice and telling you what to do.
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I'm not really doing that in this video.
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I'm kind of just sitting here and opening up and more
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so telling you like I think the number one thing you should do is understand this piece of information
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that is nobody else is going to fix you and make you better.
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No friend, no boyfriend, no family member, nothing.
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Not even me.
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I can help and I can do what I can on this channel but it's gonna be you babe.
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You're gonna do it by yourself and I know you can and I believe in you.
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You are strong, you're amazing, you're beautiful, you're capable.
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I'm proud of you.
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If no one else told you today, I want to tell you.
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I'm giving you a big hug virtually and we're gonna be okay.
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I think the number one thing I wanted you to take away from this is to just understand
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that this is going to be a really complicated journey between you
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and yourself and that's it and it's going to be amazing
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and the quickest way to feel better about everything you're dealing
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with on the inside is to really nurture yourself to really
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step out of your comfort zone because you feel good
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when you do that like it feels like you can do anything
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and we need change what's
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that saying we're like ships a ship was not built to
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just stay at the harbor it's built to go you need to be set free this life has
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so much to offer you it's out there waiting for you
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and i want you to be excited feel excited like picture
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it right now think about all of the things you're going to be doing like i'm sitting here
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and i'm like i'm in awe and i'm in disbelief about this background
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and i went through
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so much anxiety in australia like packing up my whole life
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putting everything into boxes i couldn't even conceptualize what it would
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look like i couldn't even imagine what it would look like living here
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and being in a different city Like I just couldn't picture it, but here I am and it's been the best thing I've ever done for myself
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And I want you to feel this way
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And the only way you're gonna feel this way is to push through the hard times
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and the anxiety and the self-doubt And to understand
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that nobody else is gonna fix you It's gonna be you I hope
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that you guys like today's video
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and whatever you're doing tag me on your instagram stories I love
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when I see you guys posting that you're watching my videos
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while you're doing your makeup or whatever you're doing I love you so much.
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It means so much when you leave comments so please do and please leave me a like as well.
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It just shows that you're liking the video.
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It takes a lot of time and effort to edit these videos
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because I have a lot going on work-wise outside of being a YouTuber
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so you know it's it's a lot of work and the comments mean everything but yeah I just wanted to say that.
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I love you guys and I will see you in my next video.
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Vocabulary and speaking notes for this lesson
This B2 speaking lesson is built on the video “no one can love you into liking yourself”. This video has 235 sentences and 2853 words to shadow. The speech runs for 12:20. The speaker talks fast, about 231 words per minute, so expect linked and reduced sounds. 86% of the words are among the 3,000 most common in English; the rest is worth studying before you start.
Key vocabulary in this video
The 15 most advanced words in the video, with pronunciation and meaning:
| Word | Pronunciation | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| heal verb | /ˈhiːl/ | To make better from a disease, wound, etc.; to revive or cure. |
| breakup noun | /ˈbɹeɪk.ʌp/ | The act of breaking up; disintegration or division. |
| bully noun | /ˈbʊli/ | A person who is intentionally physically or emotionally cruel to others, especially to those whom they perceive as being vulnerable or of less power or… |
| nurture noun | /ˈnɜːɹ.t͡ʃəɹ/ | The act of nourishing or nursing; tender care |
| glitter verb | /ˈɡlɪtəɹ/ | To sparkle with light; to shine with a brilliant and broken light or showy luster; to gleam. |
| depressing adjective | /dɪˈpɹɛsɪŋ/ | Causing depression or sadness. |
| inspire verb | /ɪnˈspaɪə(ɹ)/ | To infuse into the mind; to communicate to the spirit; to convey, as by a divine or supernatural influence; to disclose preternaturally; to produce in, as by… |
| introspective adjective | /ˌɪntɹəˈspɛktɪv/ | Examining one's own perceptions and sensory experiences; contemplative or thoughtful about oneself. |
| medication noun | /mɛdɪˈkeɪʃən/ | A medicine, or all the medicines regularly taken by a patient. |
| conceptualize verb | To interpret a phenomenon by forming a concept. | |
| disbelief noun | /dɪsbɪˈliːf/ | An unpreparedness, unwillingness, or an inability to believe that something is the case. |
| fondly adverb | /ˈfɑndli/ | In a fond manner; affectionately; tenderly. |
| frustrate verb | /ˈfɹʌsˌtɹeɪt/ | To disappoint or defeat; to vex by depriving of something expected or desired. |
| grieve verb | /ɡɹiːv/ | To cause sorrow or distress to. |
| heartbroken adjective | Suffering from grief, especially after a failed romance. |
Phrasal verbs you will hear
| Word | Meaning |
|---|---|
| go through verb | To travel from one end of something to the other. |
| open up verb | To open. |
| look back verb | To think of (past events) in retrospect (in hindsight). |
| beat up verb | To give a severe beating to; to assault violently with repeated blows. |
| end up verb | To bring to a conclusion. |
| go away verb | To depart or leave a place. |
| go out verb | To leave, especially a building. |
| push through verb | To force (legislation or a plan) to be passed or agreed to or a decision to be reached. |
Sentences worth repeating
Short, complete lines from the video that you can reuse in everyday conversation:
- I'm gonna leave the details in the description.
- Let's start off with a deep breath, please.
- When you're younger, you grieve relationships so differently.
- You know what I mean?
- I've carried that since being bullied.
Grammar in this video
The structures the speaker uses most, with the exact words from the video:
| Structure | In the video |
|---|---|
| Present perfect have/has + past participle — a past action that still matters now | I've realized · it's been · it's always been |
| Passive voice be + past participle — the focus is on what happens, not who does it | will be healed · being bullied · been really inspired |
Pronunciation to watch
The speaker uses 122 contractions and reduced forms, such as I'm, you're, don't. Say them the short way, as you hear them.
- The “sh” and “zh” sounds: medication /mɛdɪˈkeɪʃən/, shatter /ˈʃætɚ/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/, shout /ʃaʊt/
- Long words — get the stress right: introspective /ˌɪntɹəˈspɛktɪv/, medication /mɛdɪˈkeɪʃən/, validation /ˌvæl.əˈdeɪ.ʃən/, realization /ˌɹɪə.laɪˈzeɪ.ʃən/
How to practise with this video
- Listen to the whole video once without speaking and note the words you do not know.
- Start at 0.75× speed, shadow it sentence by sentence, then go back to normal speed once it feels easy.
- Record yourself and compare with the original, paying attention to words like heal, breakup, bully.
What is the Shadowing Technique?
Shadowing is a science-backed language learning technique originally developed for professional interpreter training and popularized by polyglot Dr. Alexander Arguelles. The method is simple but powerful: you listen to native English audio and immediately repeat it out loud — like a shadow following the speaker with just a 1–2 second delay. Unlike passive listening or grammar drills, shadowing forces your brain and mouth muscles to simultaneously process and reproduce real speech patterns. Research shows it significantly improves pronunciation accuracy, intonation, rhythm, connected speech, listening comprehension, and speaking fluency — making it one of the most effective methods for IELTS Speaking preparation and real-world English communication.