Shadowing Practice: If You’re Ambitious, But Stuck, Watch This. - Learn English Speaking with Video

In order to be a great leader and to lead a winning team,

you have to learn both the hard and the soft.

You do not have one without the other.

And you will be at a constant disadvantage if you only have one skill.

I have built my company to over 250 million,

and I have learned the best employees don't always make the best leaders.

But the best leaders do share the same traits.

So if you've ever wondered why do you have what it takes,

why someone else got qualified for a role that you didn't,

why you got passed up,

here are six signs that you'll make a great leader.

Number one, stop asking for permission to lead.

When I started working at a small group training gym,

I did not have the leadership title,

but I did start doing things that leaders do.

You know, I would notice like patterns and client drop-off and I would bring new ideas to my boss without being asked.

You know, when a new person was confused about like client interactions,

I didn't say like, you should just be better with clients.

I was like, hey, let me show you what I do,

how I say things, when to say it,

how to do this during a sales process,

how to do this when you're having trouble with your client

and I would break it into like very specific behaviors and let them watch me.

It's interesting because like the owner didn't offer me a boost in my role because I asked for it.

He offered it to me because the behavior made the case for me.

So by the time it was like,

hey, we want to promote you.

It was like the title had already happened.

Promoting me was a formality.

So my point here is this.

You have to make the title obvious.

When your boss would feel embarrassed by not promoting you because your leadership is so visible,

that is when you know that you have done it right.

And there's a lot to say on this,

but there's a lot of different skills to doing your individual job versus doing the job of a leader.

And it is very hard for people to make that jump.

If you can make that jump while in this job,

then you essentially have de-risked the move to put you in a formal leadership position to get promoted.

There's a ton of research on leadership behaviors

that predict if you're going to be seen as a leader or promoted into one, right?

Initiative, do you do things without being asked?

problem solving for the group?

Do you solve problems beyond just your own problems?

And emotional regulation under pressure?

When things get hard do you freak out and freak everybody else out?

Or do you stay calm and actually calm everybody else around you?

The thing about this is oftentimes when people come to me,

even in my company, they're like,

hey, what do I need to do to get promoted?

Like, why am I not on the executive team?

What's the skill?

What do I need to know about finance and legal?

And I'm like, soft skills,

which are not soft, it's a terrible term for them,

like communication and delegation and and empowerment,

like those are more important than your hard technical skills when it comes to being a leader.

Here's what nobody's gonna tell you.

The promotion does not unlock the behavior.

Behavior unlocks the promotion.

So stop waiting for permission and start acting like the role that you would like now.

Number two is show your flaws.

I had two people sign up for the same role in my company.

Person A had never brought me a single mistake in two years.

Person B came regularly and was like,

I made a bad call, here's what I missed.

Who do you think got promoted?

I promoted person B.

And now why is that?

Person A was not flawless,

but they were hiding their mistakes from me.

A lot of people assume that because they don't see mistakes, they don't occur.

But the reality is, is that a lot of people do not share their mistakes out of fear.

The best leaders cannot get better unless they provide you with room to coach them

and room to understand that they are flawed just like everybody else.

They don't hide.

They put their flaws out on the table and they allow for themselves to be vulnerable.

And what a lot of people don't realize is that whatever you do as a leader,

other people are going to model.

So if you hide your mistakes, guess what?

Your whole team's gonna hide their mistakes.

When you own your mistakes,

your whole team's gonna own their mistakes.

I can promise you this.

I've had, gosh, I had a customer service team that accidentally stopped facilitating our refund process after one Christmas break.

They just like forgot to do the refund process.

And three months later after Christmas break,

I was like, oh, very weird.

Our revenue line over here, like what's going on?

It took me about maybe an hour to figure out that it was that they had stopped doing this process.

And when I investigated, I talked to everybody in the team,

what I realized is that two of them had actually known that had happened and it had stopped,

but they didn't share anything with anybody.

Now, why is that?

The leader on the team never shared anything.

They never shared when they made mistakes.

They had this illusion of perfection at all points in time.

Harvard did a study and found that when one person shows vulnerability,

it creates a signal that invites everybody else to do the same,

which builds trust faster than any other thing that you can do in a business.

100

You think about the amount of money that businesses spend on off-sites and team activities and investing in your team,

101

being honest, sharing your mistakes,

102

that actually increases engagement by 25% according to that study.

103

And a lot of people think,

104

oh my god, but Lila,

105

you're a girl, it sounds so soft.

106

Well, there's nothing soft about winning.

107

That's what I say.

108

Like, I didn't learn this stuff because I was like,

109

oh, I feel like I want to be softer.

110

I want to be more vulnerable.

111

But you know what I did find?

112

In order to be a great leader and to lead a winning team,

113

You have to learn both the hard and the soft.

114

You do not have one without the other.

115

And you will be at a constant disadvantage if you only have one skill.

116

Number three, you are being evaluated for a completely different job.

117

Okay, this actually took me a while to learn and also to then be able to teach to people.

118

I promoted one of our best team players into a leadership role.

119

It's funny because I was so excited.

120

I was like, dude, she's gonna kill it.

121

She's amazing.

122

She's so good at her job.

123

And then the moment that I promoted her and she had direct reports,

124

She couldn't actually do the job I just put her in.

125

She couldn't delegate.

126

She would actually take their work, redo their work.

127

It was just like everything all of a sudden was so wrong.

128

And the reason is because what made her so good at her job was doing the work.

129

And so the only way she knew to help them was to do the work for them.

130

And so it was really,

131

I mean, I want to say funny,

132

but it wasn't that funny because it sucked to live with her the first time.

133

Within three months, her team was so burnt out,

134

they were so demoralized, they did not like her as a leader.

135

I had four of them come to me.

136

They pulled me onto a call and they were like,

137

we cannot deal with this.

138

Look at all these things that are happening.

139

As I looked at what she was doing,

140

it wasn't that she was trying to be malicious,

141

trying to undermine them, trying to...

142

It was that she was doing her old job in a new role and didn't realize it.

143

For example, if you told a 10-year-old,

144

be better at basketball, they would have no idea where to begin.

145

Like, you would have to break it down into the component parts,

146

teach them how to dribble,

147

how to shoot, how to pass.

148

Leadership actually works the same way.

149

And so when you are promoted into a leadership role,

150

what you must understand is there are

151

so many skills within the skill itself of leadership that you have to learn to be proficient at your job.

152

And so what it is,

153

is it's a bundle of very specific but learnable behaviors.

154

And those behaviors that make someone a great performer are not the same ones that make you a great leader.

155

In fact, oftentimes they are at odds with each other,

156

which is why it's really hard to go from being like the top salesperson to the best sales director ever.

157

They are different skills that often contradict with each other.

158

To reinforce that, MIT and Yale did a study that found

159

that the best salespeople were both most likely to be promoted and performed the worst as managers.

160

But employees who shared credit and collaborated increased their team's performance by 30%.

161

The trait that predicted great leadership was not individual excellence and being really good at your job.

162

It was actually collaboration, which is a completely different skill.

163

So if you think about it,

164

if you're really, really good at your job,

165

you don't need to collaborate with people to get things done,

166

which means your collaboration skills are low.

167

So then you get promoted into leadership.

168

You don't know how to collaborate.

169

So now you're not a good leader.

170

That's why it doesn't work most of the time.

171

If you look at Phil Jackson,

172

who has 11 NBA titles,

173

you've got Belichick, who has six Super Bowls,

174

you have, you know, Sir Alex Ferguson,

175

38 trophies, the greatest coaches in the history that won across all these different eras of different players.

176

The players came and went,

177

but those coaches kept on winning.

178

Now why is that?

179

Because the leverage isn't just in being the best player,

180

it's in making the best out of every player.

181

It is in raising the bar and the standard for every player on the team.

182

Here's a good way that you can kind of gauge like,

183

am I ready for leadership?

184

Is this something that I could do?

185

Look at your week.

186

How much of your time of your week is spent on your output versus improving somebody else's output.

187

If it's 90-10, then you're showing your boss that you're a great player,

188

not necessarily a great future coach.

189

There are people in my organization who,

190

when I know somebody's a future leader,

191

it's not because they're the best individual performer,

192

it's because what I notice is that in their spare time,

193

they do not seek to improve their own performance,

194

but to help others improve theirs.

195

It's the sales guy who spends three hours drilling his teammates and teaching them his overcomes because he just wants to help.

196

That's somebody who has the skill of collaboration and of helping others.

197

The fourth piece is you solve problems that aren't yours.

198

I had an employee who came onto the team and essentially fixed another team's onboarding process.

199

So she came on in operations and while she was in operations she was like,

200

oh my gosh, the HR team has no onboarding process and and it's HR.

201

Without asking me, without telling me,

202

without knowing she didn't have authority over there,

203

instead what she did is she asked questions,

204

she offered to help, and then she worked alongside them to help them put it into place.

205

And the funny thing is that I found out from the other manager, not from her.

206

Why is that so important?

207

Because what I saw in that is I was like,

208

wow, I have somebody who went out of their way to make another function better in their own spare time. For why?

209

I don't know because that person had leadership skills.

210

So what did I do?

211

She actually got promoted within the next three months.

212

When you go out of your way, you inconvenience yourself.

213

You create more friction in your life to help other people when it doesn't necessarily benefit you directly.

214

Compare that to an employee that I had that was only completely focused on their lane.

215

I have had many who are completely exceptional at their job.

216

But when another teammate is drowning and asking for help,

217

they say, sorry, can't do it.

218

I've already got enough on my own plate.

219

Technically correct, but also the opposite of leadership.

220

The person who sees a problem that isn't theirs and fixes it is the one who shows their true character,

221

and character like that is one that should be in a leadership position.

222

You want people in a leadership position who are willing to sacrifice their own personal comfort for the better of the team.

223

If somebody is a very,

224

very good individual contributor, oftentimes what they are doing is constantly foregoing team collaboration to focus on their individual skills,

225

which is fine.

226

Just don't also wonder why you're not in a leadership position.

227

There was a project done by Google,

228

Google's era, Project Aristotle, that basically analyzed like 180 teams to identify factors of high performance.

229

And what it found out is that when even one teammate regularly stepped outside their lane to help other people,

230

it had this ripple effect on all the other team dynamics.

231

Because a lot of people think,

232

well, gosh, what can I do in the organization?

233

And I try really hard to still listen to my team.

234

I'm like, you can make so much more of a difference than you think.

235

It's just that a lot of people don't have the courage to try.

236

The reality is everybody around you is watching.

237

And once everyone's watching and everyone's watching you,

238

your boss is eventually going to notice.

239

The fifth piece is trade credit for influence.

240

I think like this has burned into my mind from when I first decided that I,

241

you know, wanted to be a great leader,

242

which is the best leaders take the blame and give away the credit.

243

It also makes them really hard at self-promotion and marketing.

244

So that has been an interesting skill to learn because when you market yourself,

245

you want to promote yourself Which means taking credit which you'll notice for a lot of leaders.

246

It's very hard to do when I First heard that term.

247

I remember what I did immediately is that any time that the team had a win

248

Even if it was me leading to the initiative, I was like amazing.

249

You guys did so great.

250

Look at what we did here We we we we we

251

we we did this we accomplished this we we we it was

252

so cool to see because When I started giving away the credit and then anytime we had a loss I was like,

253

here's how it's on me.

254

What I noticed is that people continue to come to me with their problems and their ideas.

255

It wasn't because I was a top performer in the company.

256

It's because I made people feel like it was,

257

one, okay to fail because I owned failures constantly,

258

and two, like they were important because I was constantly telling them why they were

259

and what they did well and why they were deserving of the credit.

260

So if you remember that MIT Yale study that did on salespeople who become managers,

261

so they also found that salespeople who shared credit became 30% more effective as managers than the top solo performers.

262

So if you look at like what's a leading indicator that somebody would be a good manager,

263

it's like do they give away the credit?

264

I can tell you that we have a really actually fantastic sales team at acquisition.com

265

and what I love seeing in the shout outs is like anytime somebody like goes on a hot streak

266

and they're just having like a great week where they're closing at like the highest amount,

267

they'll be like, I wanna thank these seven people for helping coach me,

268

helping role play with me,

269

staying late, watching my calls with me.

270

I think that's so cool because what it tells me is there's a lot of future leaders in the organization.

271

Because people who are defensive of their success often cannot be great leaders.

272

Number six is to develop patience as a competitive advantage.

273

I remember when I worked at 24 Hour Fitness,

274

I had a manager and he was like anything but flashy.

275

Like sometimes, you know, it's like you've got the boss and they're leading the winning team.

276

It's like they show up in their new Lambo or they have their like new Jeep and they've got like,

277

and all of a sudden they're wearing this cool watch.

278

Like you just see all the triggers popping up, right?

279

Especially when you're working on a sales team.

280

And I remember instead, like,

281

he showed up every day just wearing the t-shirt,

282

hat, shorts, and he just did the boring s* with excellence day in and day out.

283

He trained new people, he was patient,

284

he listened to calls, and he ran meetings with the same high energy day in and day out every f*ing day.

285

And I remember there were so many times when I was like,

286

dude, I just want to,

287

like, fast forward and get past this phase of my career.

288

And what I realized in hindsight was that he understood something that I didn't,

289

which is that leadership is built in the fundamentals of repetition.

290

And after studying a lot of great coaches,

291

I see this across themes like Vince Lombardi did the exact

292

same thing He started every training camp by holding up a football and saying Gentlemen,

293

this is a football.

294

It's not like he said,

295

oh, I got to cut it.

296

I've said it enough times I've done enough camps The cool thing

297

that you can see is that the best coaches

298

and the best teachers across industries across athletes across business They

299

start with the fundamentals every single time consistency beats intensity no matter what

300

If you say something once and you expect it to stick,

301

you're never going to get what you want out of your team.

302

You have to say it until it sticks,

303

repeat it until it sticks,

304

teach it until it sticks.

305

I go even deeper on all this stuff on leadership in my weekly newsletter.

306

It's called Layla's Letters.

307

You can find the link in the description or you can go to laythehormosey.com.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu B2 seviyesindeki konuşma dersi “If You’re Ambitious, But Stuck, Watch This” videosuna dayanıyor. En çok tekrarlanan kelimeler: leader, leadership, skill. Bu videoda gölgeleme çalışması için 307 cümle ve 3200 kelime var. Konuşma bölümü 14:20 sürüyor. Konuşmacı hızlı konuşuyor, dakikada yaklaşık 223 kelime; bu yüzden birbirine bağlanan ve zayıflayan sesler duyacaksınız. Kelimelerin %86’i İngilizcede en sık kullanılan 3.000 kelime arasında; geri kalanına başlamadan önce bakmakta fayda var.

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Videodaki en ileri düzey 15 kelime, telaffuzu ve anlamıyla:

Kelime	Telaffuz	Anlam
salesperson isim		satıcı
collaborate fiil	/kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/	birlikte çalışmak
teammate isim	/ˈtiːmˌmeɪt/	ekip arkadaşı, takım arkadaşı
gosh	/ɡɑːʃ/	Allah Allah, anne
flaw isim	/flɔ/	çatlak, çizik
trait isim	/tɹeɪt/	özellik, vasıf
disadvantage isim	/ˌdɪsədˈvæntɪd͡ʒ/	dezavantaj
unlock fiil	/ʌnˈlɑk/	açmak, kilidini açmak
refund isim	/ɹɪˈfʌnd/	geri ödemek
theirs	/ðɛɚz/	onlarınki
predict fiil	/pɹɪˈdɪkt/	öngörmek, tahmin etmek
anytime zarf		ne zaman olursa
demoralize fiil	/dɪˈmɒɹəlaɪz/	demoralize etmek, moralini bozmak
formality isim	/fɔːrˈmælɪti/	formalite, ciddiyet
hindsight isim	/ˈhaɪn(d)saɪt/	retrospektif

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Kelime	Anlam
figure out fiil	açığa çıkarmak
find out fiil	anlamak, ortaya çıkarmak
show up fiil	ortaya çıkmak

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Videodan, günlük konuşmada yeniden kullanabileceğiniz kısa ve tam cümleler:

Initiative, do you do things without being asked?
Do you solve problems beyond just your own problems?
Who do you think got promoted?
Our revenue line over here, like what's going on?
Is this something that I could do?

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Konuşmacının en çok kullandığı yapılar, videodaki sözcüklerin aynısıyla:

Yapı	Videoda
Edilgen yapı be + fiilin üçüncü hâli — kimin yaptığı değil, ne olduğu önemli	being asked · be seen · are flawed
Present perfect have/has + fiilin üçüncü hâli — geçmişte olan ama şimdi de önemli olan bir eylem	have built · have learned · you've ever wondered
İlgi cümlecikleri who / which + cümle — bir kişi ya da şey hakkında ek bilgi	collaboration, which is · guy who spends · somebody who has

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Konuşmacı don't, you're, didn't gibi kısaltılmış biçimleri 63 kez kullanıyor. Bunları duyduğunuz gibi kısa söyleyin.

“th” sesleri: theirs /ðɛɚz/, athlete /ˈæθ.liːt/
“sh” ve “zh” sesleri: gosh /ɡɑːʃ/, flashy /ˈflæʃi/, proficient /pɹoʊˈfɪʃ.ənt/, repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/, malicious /məˈlɪʃəs/
Uzun kelimeler — vurguyu doğru yere koyun: collaborate /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/, disadvantage /ˌdɪsədˈvæntɪd͡ʒ/, demoralize /dɪˈmɒɹəlaɪz/, formality /fɔːrˈmælɪti/, repetition /ˌɹɛp.əˈtɪʃ.ən/

Türkçe konuşanların zorlandığı sesler:

Kelime başındaki ünsüz kümesi — araya ünlü eklemeyin: flaw /flɔ/, trait /tɹeɪt/, predict /pɹɪˈdɪkt/, dribble /ˈdɹɪ.bɫ̩/, flashy /ˈflæʃi/
/æ/ — “e”den daha açık: collaborate /kəˈlæb.ə.ɹeɪt/, disadvantage /ˌdɪsədˈvæntɪd͡ʒ/, flashy /ˈflæʃi/, formality /fɔːrˈmælɪti/, analyze /ˈæn.əˌlaɪz/

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Videonun tamamını konuşmadan bir kez dinleyin ve bilmediğiniz kelimeleri not edin.
0,75× hızla başlayın, cümle cümle tekrar edin ve kolaylaşınca normal hıza dönün.
Kendinizi kaydedin ve orijinaliyle karşılaştırın; salesperson, collaborate, teammate gibi kelimelere özellikle dikkat edin.

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?

Gölgeleme, başlangıçta profesyonel tercüman eğitimi için geliştirilen ve çok dilli Dr. Alexander Arguelles tarafından popüler hale getirilen, bilim destekli bir dil öğrenme tekniğidir. Yöntem basit ama güçlüdür: ana dili İngilizce olan bir sesi dinler ve hemen yüksek sesle tekrar edersiniz — konuşmacıyı 1-2 saniye gecikmeyle takip eden bir gölge gibi. Pasif dinleme veya dilbilgisi alıştırmalarının aksine, gölgeleme beyninizi ve ağız kaslarınızı gerçek konuşma kalıplarını eşzamanlı olarak işlemeye ve yeniden üretmeye zorlar. Araştırmalar, telaffuz doğruluğu, tonlama, ritim, bağlı konuşma, dinleme anlama ve konuşma akıcılığını önemli ölçüde geliştirdiğini göstermektedir — bu da onu IELTS Konuşma hazırlığı ve gerçek dünya İngilizce iletişimi için en etkili yöntemlerden biri yapar.

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Bu dersin kelimeleri ve konuşma notları

Bu videodaki önemli kelimeler

Duyacağınız deyimsel fiiller

Tekrar etmeye değer cümleler

Bu videodaki dil bilgisi

Dikkat edilecek telaffuzlar

Bu videoyla nasıl çalışılır

Gölgeleme Tekniği Nedir?